Most women are drawn to nice guys who almost have the qualities of their “perfect guy.” But luckily, some women are not like this. Some see through this “nice guy” quality. Once you feel that a man is “too good to be true,” your gut may just be telling you that it’s right to run away girl!
Here are some stories that will show you that not all “nice guys” are genuine. Some of them hide behind the facade of their true colors. Come check these out!
1. Accidental Flinch
I was friends with a coworker. We had hung out a few times socially after work and got along well but it never really occurred to me to wonder if he was interested in me. At that point in my life, I did not get a lot of male attention, and honestly was pretty cringey myself, but that's for a different thread.
Anyway, we were walking side by side and I guess he went to put his arm around me. It surprised me (like that “someone is tapping you on the opposite shoulder” trick) and I turned abruptly. He took it as incredibly rude, gave me an angry lecture about leading people on and how disgusting you make someone feel when you flinch from their touch, and called me a douche. Sorry for my reflexes.
About a week later another friend came to me at work to let me know that guy was telling everyone I was was sleeping my way through the department. Nice! The dumbest part was that I probably would have gone on a date with him if he'd asked. I just had no idea he was thinking along those lines. Bullet dodged!
Nonnamous
2. Stinky Revenge
In high school a guy I barely knew tried to convince me to tell my parents that I was going to a friend's house but go hang out with him. I was normally rebellious but when my parents said “no” to his request, I kind of got the weird feeling that my parents would be right in telling me I could not spend time with him.
I politely rejected his offer after the response he got from them. I even blamed my parents and told him I did respect their decision so it wouldn’t be awkward. But he didn’t take this all lightly. In response to that, he retaliated by covering my Dad’s car in dyed tampons. Patrick, you’re a freaking creep.
CaffeineAndCardio
3. Cheers To Betrayal
This just happened recently. My good friend from college and I, along with other friends from our program, went out to a bar to celebrate finishing our degree. He kept feeding me shots but I figured everyone just wanted to be drunk and have a good time. The night is coming to an end and I’m quite incapacitated.
My “good friend” frantically approached me saying that he had just seen a guy put something in my drink (which I had just finished). He told me that I would soon be unconscious and that it would be good to take me back to his apartment so he could take care of me. Being heavily drunk and also quite scared, I agreed and he helped me back to his apartment.
After making me something to eat and giving me some water, we set up camp for the night on his couch. He put on a movie and he said he would sit and watch me sleep to make sure I didn’t throw up or anything. As I started to dose off he started touching me, first on my feet and knees and then my upper thigh.
I confronted him about it and he said after everything he had done he felt he deserved “compensation.” I laughed it off but after he tried to make a move again I got angry and we began fighting. He exposed to me that no one had put anything in my drink and it was all a ploy to allow him to make his move. After some more arguing he decided I should leave, and he kicked me out of his apartment at 3:00 am while I was still considerably drunk.
This is someone whom I’ve trusted and spent 4 years being friends with. Safe to say I’ll be a lot more speculative with future male friends.
Sadrefresh
4. Unwanted Admirer and Unsettling Encounters
Right after high school, a guy came out of the woodwork and told me that he had a crush on me. I thought it was nice, but I just did not like him. He was always buying me presents and dropping them off at my mom’s house. I always said thanks but told him I just wasn’t interested.
We had the same group of friends so I would see him from time to time. When I would see him he would pull me aside and politely ask me to go on a date with him. I told him that I just didn’t see him that way.
One day, I ran into him at the store and he asked me out again and I went on this long rant about how I was going off to college and I didn’t want to be tied down. He ended up asking me out AGAIN. I ended up walking away. He came up behind me and pushed me! He had this evil look in his eye, and I ran to my car and called my mom.
He ended up messaging me a couple of days later and telling me that he was just mad because God told him I was the one he was going to marry. I blocked him on all social media and my phone. He still managed to get my new address when I moved off to college.
One time he drove almost an hour to my apartment. He knocked on my door and he handed me a bag of my favorite candy. I flipped out like I should have done many times before and I threatened to call the cops and get a restraining order. I’ve seen him once in the last 7 years with his wife and new baby. I hope he has changed!
Mrlxndr1001
5. Ballad Of Unwanted Text Messages
So it’s not a stereotypical nice guy really, but I met him at a party, gave him a ride home, and after belting out "don't stop believing" together, he asked for my number. We went on one date and texted for a week. Then Saturday morning, I woke up to 50+ texts that started with asking what I was doing (sleeping because I worked in the morning) and went all the way up to "I should just end myself since no one wants to talk to me"
I told him that was unacceptable as I had already told him I worked Saturday morning, but even if I hadn't there's no reason to text me over 50 times. If I'm not answering, I'm not answering. He whined about being so nice, and how good he was to me and other things. Thankfully, when my friends asked why I was ignoring such a nice guy, showing them the texts was enough for them to drop it.
Littlefingersthroat
6. Party Crash And Slash
This story is about my husband and how he caught the bad end of a “nice” guy.
A few years before I met my husband, he decided to go to a party. He gets there and some random girl walks up to him, says. “You’re cute” and kisses him. He started chatting with her. While chatting, he notices a very angry, short man standing next to her. The man is scowling at my husband. He can tell the guy is pissed at the attention girl is giving him, and it’s just not worth it, so he stops talking to a random girl.
It’s at this point my husband feels a short man punching him in the back. When he turns around, the short man is running away and runs out of the house and never returns to the party. My husband laughs it off, cause it wasn’t even a hard punch. But then somebody notices my husband is bleeding, and there is a hole in his shirt. The short dude hadn’t punched him, he attacked him with a knife.
The random girl saw this all down and was pretty mortified. Turns out the short dude was obsessed with her, they were “best friends” and he accompanied her everywhere.
The knife was pretty small, so it didn’t do any real damage. But he still has the scar. Somebody did call an ambulance. The ambulance showed up, but my husband refused to go to the hospital. He didn't want to stop partying or pay for an ambulance ride, plus it didn't hurt that much and he felt fine.
Instead, he and a friend gauzed it up and he continued to party. Mind you, in my husband's drunken stupor he is finding this whole thing hilarious. When he woke up the next day he was in a bit of pain and realized he should get it checked out, so he marched down to the hospital, got checked out and fixed up, and went home. At no point did he encounter the police, so he never reported it.
TerrorGatorRex
7. Dinner Date Disaster
We met on a dating site and after like 2 weeks decided to go meet. We weren't into coffee so we decided to eat dinner together. At his place. We agreed to meet at the mall to buy groceries. He couldn't decide even one thing, but when I would take a certain brand he would mention how his grandmother would take some other.
In the end, I made him pick at least one thing - an appetizer (thinking of soup or something), so he picked blueberries. I paid. We came to his apartment, he couldn't cook which I didn't mind, but he didn't even feel like helping.
While I was making the sauce he mentioned things like that I am not intelligent enough. I suck at math and wasn't interested in it when he was reading his math book to me for 5 to 10 minutes. It annoys him when I say I am not interested in video games. He blushed when I joked and said a vulgar word and also got frustrated when he read Jesenin to me and I wasn't that interested.
Then we finally sat and ate. He commented how his mother does it better. But he also ate pretty much everything. Then all of a sudden he stood up and said "Now we should kiss and cuddle.” Of course not. I offered to wash the dishes. He didn't even help. I felt sorry for him the entire time, that's why I just didn't leave.
Miss_Keys
8. Age-Defying Misunderstanding
I work in retail and have for more than 25 years. About 9 years ago, when I worked in a liquor store, I had an older customer that would come in, and I thought would flirt with me. A lot of customers flirted with me, so I didn't think anything of it. Plus, this guy was, like, twice my age and I was no spring chicken. I had no idea that he seriously thought we were flirting.
Until one day, he asked me out but not in a regular way, mind you. Oh, What he said was, "So, we've known each other for a while, now. I'll just wait until you're off tonight, and then we can go out. I'll take you to an expensive restaurant!"
I politely declined his offer. But all of a sudden, he just went ballistic! Long story short, the manager banned him from the store for life. Thank god!
Winter_storm
9. Late Night Latte Lunacy
Some random guy messaged me online and he seemed nice enough. He then asked if I would like to meet up with him. I said, “Sure.” He told me there was a Starbucks between our places and said he would see me there in 30 minutes. I was taken aback and told him, "Woah, not right now, it's 10 pm." He said it was okay, but he would like to keep talking to me if it was alright.
A few days later this exchange of messages happened. He messaged me, "Hey! what's up?" So I responded, “Not much, how are you?” He replied, “I'm good.” Then I ended my reply by saying that it was good to hear he was good.
5 minutes passed so I assume he was busy for a second. He then messaged me, “Well if you don't have anything to say you fool, don't lead me on and let me think that we can be together. You're nothing but a girl who flirts with guys anyway. Only flirts lead nice guys like me on. To heck with you, you flirt!”
Effietea
10. Party Bus Drama
I met this girl at a seminar I was attending. She was SUPER nice and I really liked her, so we became friends. It was her birthday a short time later, and her boyfriend at the time arranged a party bus as a surprise party. I wasn't drinking at the time, but I figured I'd go and hang out for a while.
When I got there, one of her guy friends decided he thought I was cute. I had never met him before, so we exchanged names, and the conversation stopped there. The bus gets there, we all get on, and people start getting progressively more drunk. I liked being around drunk people, it didn't bother me.
This one girl got drunk and decided she wanted to go home with me. She sat by me and started to get a bit handsy, so I scooched slowly to the other side of the seat. Another guy from before comes and sits on the other side of me, and I scooched again.
They start getting into a drunken argument over me. I'm not going home with anybody, but try telling this to these two profoundly drunk people. The drunk girl figures out that if she tries to give me the world's drunkest lapdance, that drunk guy will get progressively more upset. I keep getting up and moving to different parts of this bus. Things were getting weird.
We finally get back to the house and it devolves into a drunken house party. I decided it was time for me to go. I go for one final bathroom trip since it will be a long drive home. I keep getting stopped by random partygoers on the way out telling me that Drunk Guy is very upset and I should go "talk to him."
I looked outside and Drunk Guy, whom I had spoken to for all of 30 seconds ever, was sitting on the sidewalk sobbing and all his friends were around him, trying to cheer him up. Some girl he is in love with doesn't love him back. I'm told it's me. I walk outside, crouch down, and apologize that he's sad. I wish him a good night. He starts to cry again. I walk to my car and leave.
That was a really weird night.
Here_Comes_The_Chomp
11. Coffee Date Turned Creepy
I went on a first date with a guy, a casual date for coffee. It wasn't terrible but it was obvious that we didn't click that well. He did the typical "nice guy" stuff during the date where he talked about how he was different from other guys, knew how to treat a woman, talked down on "gym bros,” etc.
I ended the date pretty quickly as I wasn't feeling it, and had just gotten off of a midnight shift so it was past my "bedtime.” He insisted on walking me to my car and opening the door for me. Fine. Then he hugged me, and when we went to break apart, he tried kissing me. I turned my face and he immediately got agitated, blocked me from entering my car, and said "What? No kiss?”
I'm a pretty easy-going and tolerant person but that was the first time something like that had ever happened and I immediately felt a slight bit of fear, as the guy was blocking my car and was about 6'4, he was so much larger than me. I immediately put on my super serious face and said "No, sorry. I need to get home now” and luckily he moved.
Took a bit of a break from dating after that.
Spacecrafts
12. Unwanted Preaching
I met a guy at college who seemed like a wayward out-of-towner who wasn't having any luck in the friend department (word was he moved up from Cali). So we started working as semi-study buddies. He was taking courses for a different major but they were courses I had done already.
He knew I had a boyfriend but decided one day to ask me to dinner. I specified "as friends." His response was something like, "Sure, or it could be a date." The fact that I was in a long-term relationship didn't seem to make a difference to him. So I declined.
After that, my courses got switched to online courses, so I stopped seeing him as much. Until he added me to my social media account and started trying to ask me out again. I finally told him no, that if he couldn't respect my current relationship enough to lay off the date attempts, we didn't need to be friends.
Then he went super religious on me. He started preaching to me constantly that he was "terrified about me going to hell" and wanted to "save my soul so that didn't happen.” Just admonished every single decision I ever made as a person and determined like no other to convince me that my sinful ways would undermine me in every way. He kept saying he didn't want to see his "friend" go through that.
I told him forcing his religion down my throat was the surefire way of pushing me away permanently, and proceeded to block him. I gave him a lot of chances to understand that what he was doing wasn't cool, but he was so convinced that he was just being a "nice guy.”
LadyRevontulet
13. Unwanted Advances
I went to school with a “nice guy,” neck-beard, anime katana sword-wielding guy.He would talk about how girls only like the big jock guys and how they neglect smart intellectuals like him. He also talked about how he was waiting for a girl to be smart enough and “good enough” for him. That doesn’t make any sense at all but ok.
He weighed about 90 pounds, had vampire pale skin, and bleach blond hair which he wore at an awkward too-long-in-the-front length so it could cover his eyes. He started hanging around where I would eat lunch during my freshman year of high school. No one wanted him around, but we were nice and we would just smile.
Anyway, my neckbeard would get way too close to me, making up reasons to touch me. I am short so he would set his arm on my head, and grab my shoulders, just awkward unwanted touching. So I told him, “Hey maybe don’t touch me.” He did not get the message. The not-so-sly hair-smelling and weird touching increased and I said zip cuz I was shy.
Well, he got my number from one of my “friends” and started sending me those creepy asterisk messages like “Hey, good looking. *Walks over to you and puts an arm around you* I missed you. *Runs hand over your soft hair hugs you feeling your nice chest and presses against my strong manly chest.*
I didn’t respond and they just got worse and worse. He sent me a shirtless photo that nearly blinded me. I texted him telling him what he was doing was making me uncomfortable but that didn’t stop him. He started asterisk texting me about how he was gonna take advantage of me and how I was gonna call him daddy and like it.
I learned how to block someone that day. I never told anyone about it. I had to go to four years of high school with this kid getting too close, making me so uncomfortable.
[deleted]
14. Misread Signals
I had a date with a guy I met through a dating site. When he found out that I was writing erotica for a living at that time, he put his hand very gently on mine and asked, with all the sincerity in the world he mustered up to ask me, “Who hurt you?”
No one hurt me, due. I got paid money to write stories about people being intimate with each other, and I had a whale of a time. He absolutely would not believe that I enjoyed doing my job and that I wasn't lashing out as a result of some obvious carnal trauma that I had in my past that he could somehow “save” me from.
God only knows how actual carnal workers cope on dates if that's a common approach to people who aren't terrified to openly discuss vulgarity. There was no second date.
Portarossa
15. Flowers, Wine, and a Terrifying Twist
I met a guy one night after a night out. Exchanged numbers, he was handsome and seemed normal. We met for dinner, and I was surprised when he brought flowers and a bottle of wine, as it was our first date and we knew nothing about each other yet.
Throughout dinner, I noticed that he would ask questions, but not listen to my answers. He seemed in his world as if he was preparing his next question. Very robotic. He mentioned that his sister was out of town and he was house-sitting for her in the building a few blocks away. Okay, even though he weirded me out a bit, I was young and still felt like things were going fairly well.
Anyway, when we left, he was walking me to my car. I was wearing heels, and as such, felt comfortable holding onto the crook of his arm for support as we walked. As we walked, he tried to persuade me to come into the building where he was supposedly house-sitting. “We’ll go up to the rooftop,” he said. “Best view in Hollywood,” he added, which was the clincher for me, because it was so corny and creepy.
I kept saying “No, no, I have to get up early.” When we got next to the building, he tightened his grip on me and said “What’s your problem?” His facade dropped and he looked scary and angry. “I bought you flowers, I brought wine, and I paid for dinner” as if he was checking off ABC is supposed to equal D. Then he retorted, “We were having fun, aren’t we?”
He began pulling me towards the door and twisting my arm. I pulled away from him and ran to my car and pulled off. I have no doubt he would have taken advantage of me if I hadn’t. I know this is beyond Nice Guys but the way he felt that he had systematically performed his steps and earned more from me. The horror stays with me.
Hasanicecrunch
16. First Date Gone Wrong
When I was a freshman in college, I met a guy through mutual friends who seemed to be cool. I was intrigued by his intellect and what I perceived to be kindness. Zero red flags from this guy. He seemed immensely compassionate due to the suffering he'd had to endure growing up.
He had cancer, and had to get one of his male parts removed, and has also discovered his father ended himself one day after his mom up and left, among other things. Anyway, I invited him over to my dorm on our “first date" and before long we went from discussing literature to taking the dangerous highway to physical intimacy. After that, he says, "The first time I talked to you (which was over the internet mind you) I decided I would tell you I loved you after the fourth date.”
I kind of chuckle to myself and brush it off, because this isn't the first time this kind of thing has been said to a girl after being intimate, right? Anyways, he then asks me if he's “The best man I ever slept with and if I’m ready to be exclusive.” I say something to the effect of "I think you're awesome, but I don't want to rush into things. Let's have a few more dates and see how this goes."
He immediately gets up, puts his clothes on, tells me, "You're just like every other flirt who doesn't want a man with one testy" and leaves. I never heard from him again.
Matrix_suicide
17. Overzealous Suitor
This guy messaged me on a dating site. He was 62. Not necessarily a deal breaker except I was 20 and he was a dozen years older than my parents. I said thanks but no thanks, I was uncomfortable with that much of an age difference, good luck out there.
He flipped. Nonstop messages vacillate between how I would regret this, wheedling, compliments, and apologies, and calling me every horrible thing he could say. Dozens upon dozens of messages a day saying he was a lawyer, he had ways of making me regret this, I would never do as good as him, and No other man would treat me so well and I'm a flirt.
This was many years ago. At the time, you could report someone for harassment on that dating site but it didn't stop that person from messaging you. Finally, I told him I would meet him in the city, at a popular college bookstore, at 2 pm. Wouldn't you know it, I somehow “forgot” to go. After another day or two of berating for standing him up, he got the hint and disappeared.
ButImNot_Bitter_
18. Long Distance Love Drunk
My best friend's (we'll call him Dan) mom threw a joke moving away party for him because he was going to be traveling abroad for 3 months. We had a big dinner at a restaurant that Dan chose. Dan also got to invite 5 or 6 of his friends.
After dinner, we returned to his place and had a very relaxed "house party.” It was just me and Dan having a blast dancing to music and laughing. Everyone else just kind of sat around. But one of the other guys (let's call him Jack) came up and started talking to me, just generic get-to-know-you type of questions.
I figured he was just trying to make things less bland since Dan was the only one who knew all of us. At the end of the day, he added me on social media, typical for college. In no way did either of us indicate we were interested in each other. And 2 weeks later, Jack posted that he was moving out of state for a job.
A few weeks after that, I got a message from Jack where he told me he was interested in me and would like to date. He was a 3-hour flight away! Aside from all the reasons why I'm not even interested in him! He accepts and tells me that he understands.
Just kidding. He acted like he understood, but a week after the message he called me at 2 pm on a weekday plastered out of his mind telling me he loved me and that he could have seen himself being with me. I asked him what he was doing drunk on a weekday and he replied "Drowning out the sorrows of your love.”
He asked me why I didn't feel the same way and let me tell you, "I'm just not into you" was the wrong answer. He just kept saying over and over that he was so nice to me, he hadn't done anything wrong. He couldn't seem to understand that it doesn't mean I'll automatically fall for him.
We had known each other for months and had only met ONCE. It was the strangest thing I've ever experienced. To be fair though, he was nice.
[deleted]
19. Vegan Vigilante
I met up with a guy from collegeclub.com and we had planned for a quick bite to eat. I had forgotten my wallet so he came to my dorm room with me to quickly grab it. We get there and he immediately starts looking around at all my photos around the room.
He finds my Homer Simpson slippers and a rooster beanie boo my nephew had left there. He takes the rooster and stuffs it in Homer’s mouth making it move (as if the slipper was chewing) and says “Look at me. I am vain. I create suffering for animals so I can feast. Selfish hungry douche.”
I was speechless but then he opened my drawer and started throwing makeup around saying “This is tested on animals. I am vain. Animals suffer for my beauty.” Then he opened my wardrobe and started throwing clothes around saying, “These things have been made in sweatshops.” My friend called security on him.
This was not our first date. More like 6th or 7th and every other time the guy was a peach! He was considerate, a great listener, and made me laugh. All in all, a genuinely nice guy. He had never previously mentioned being vegan. We had gone on coffee dates and he ordered black and this was to be our first time going to a restaurant together. Thankfully we didn’t because it was for weekend brunch and I would have got the bacon!
Vanjillybean
20. Office Romance Nightmare
Over the summer I worked with another intern who was a couple of years younger than me. He was very interested in me. He would ask questions about me to other interns in Chinese, and talk about me when I wasn't looking. I have a female preference so I wasn't romantically interested. He seemed like a nice guy though initially.
He asked me a couple of times to go hang out with him and do stuff. After talking it over with my friends I decided to relent because hey why not try it out? The date went nicely but I decided not to take things any further.
But later, when we were all attending a professional conference and staying at the same hotel he came up to my room to ask me a question about the product we were marketing and then tried to pop up on me. I asked him to leave but he wouldn't so I hid in the bathroom and asked some other interns to help so it wouldn't happen again.
When he was confronted about his behavior (everyone was at a restaurant) he got so enraged that he took the water glass and threw it at the other intern. It smashed against the wall and shattered. He got fired after that. I was lucky enough that I wasn't present at that dinner meeting, but my first thought was "Oh heck that could have been me."
After that whole debacle, I've decided to just stay out of the dating business, so I don't intend on having another nice guy story ever again.
Queenpeartato
21. Social Media Saga
I was friends with a guy who was kind of nerdy, but sweet. He was overweight, but he wore it well. He has nice hair and great skin. So not the hottest guy in the world, but far from the worst.
He lived at home and worked a minimum-wage job, but he was in his mid-20s so it wasn't that weird at his age to still be struggling. I accepted his friend's request on social media, along with another mutual girlfriend of ours.
The girl told me she had a huge crush on the guy. She had the same nerdy interests as him, and she was pretty hot. Curvy and Italian chick. She asked him out, and he said they should stay friends.
Imagine my surprise when I saw post after post of him whining about being single, how no girls like him, etc. How the sexy redhead who looked like “The Little Mermaid” was a fool for dodging his eye contact. How he just wanted a little Japanese girlfriend who looked like an anime character.
The real kicker came when he had his guy friend make a post that said, "You're all awful for not hooking up this guy with your single female friends, I know for a fact you all know single girls and you're not even trying to set him up."
I told him that I wouldn't trust him with my worst enemy and blocked them both. The entitlement was astounding, as was the complete lack of self-awareness. Having your guy friend making a post whining on your behalf is perfectly normal for some people.
Quhzk_quhzk
22. Uncomfortable Date To Online Harassment
I met this guy on a dating site and we hit it off. He decided he wanted to meet a few months later and immediately I felt off about it. But he was into me and thought there was this crazy spark. He spent the night that night because that was the plan (he lived a couple of hours away) and I had to deny his advances the whole night.
When I tried to let him down, he went insane. He insulted me every chance he got and then made 7 different social media accounts to talk to me because I continuously blocked him. He also wouldn’t just message me, he would directly post at me, comment under my pictures, etc.
When I finally had enough, I decided to meet him in person to tell him to shut off for good. When I was there he said, “Well I just think we would be great together and date after this.” I try to give him the benefit of the doubt sometimes when he messages me (it’s not as common) and he blames me and says that I went insane and he did nothing wrong.
The reason it had been a few months was because we were both in school. He lived in the city I went to school in so there was about a day of overlap when we matched and then I immediately went on break. Also, yes I was not physically attracted to him, but I also wasn’t a huge fan of his personality.
I also would like to add that the day we met, I let him sleep over because he would say things like “I just came down here, I’d thought I’d at least spend time with you, but I guess I can get a hotel.” Yes, I was naive and easily manipulated.
Lilpuplover
23. Unrequited Friendship
I was friends with this dude for over two years. He is a nice dude but we had different views on things and I just wasn’t interested in him in that way. He tried to ask me out before but I tried my best to tell him I only liked him as a friend.
Fast forward I got a boyfriend and the nice dude hated him. He tried to tell me lies about him and say he was flirting with girls behind my back. He began making up terrible lies about my boyfriend. After I called him out on it he was embarrassed but tried to put the blame on me and shame me for dating someone else when he asked me out first.
I still talk to him sometimes but he still posts things on his social media about how girls lead nice guys on and date other people.
Fuegoares
24. Persistent Pursuit
I met a guy at college (heavy commuter college) and he invited me over for a party. Almost no one was at this party. I barely drank at the time and I’ve never been interested in illegal substances, but I brought some friends, we stayed for an hour and left.
He continued to text me and call me constantly, and this was in the days of limited texts per month on my crappy flip phone. I kept telling him he was nice but that I wasn’t interested, but he insisted that we were meant to be, telling me how pretty I was, and how he would win me over.
I don’t think you could block anyone at this time, or if you could I didn’t know how to, so I just ignored him completely until finally, after months, he stopped calling.
[deleted]
25. Chronicles Of Displeasing Advances
I've had 5 different guys think that because they liked me, we were bf and gf. 3 of the 5 took me on a date without telling me it was a date. We even talked about how it's not a date.
1 of those guys (before I knew he told people we were dating when we weren't) was massaging my foot that I had a pretty bad sprain in, my foot suddenly felt wet, and he was doing something disgusting on my toes. When asked wtf he was doing he said, "I don't know" and I replied that I do know and that he needs to stop.
1 of the 5 showed up at my window unannounced to give me dirty rocks he picked up by the train tracks and acted like it was romantic. Another kissed me, open mouth (mine was closed, he did it without permission), then pushed me away and dramatically said, "I must be going," without an ounce of irony.
A different one attempted to set me up for a date with him and on an awkward outing he said, “I love you.” When I asked what he just said he said, "Oh! I was just singing a stupid song from elementary school! Awkward chuckle.” After I made it clear that I was not interested, and I had a bf he asked, "Who do you have more fun with, me or your bf?"
Without hesitation, I replied, "My bf, I mean I wouldn't be with him if other people were more enjoyable to be around." He got angry and said he could probably hurt him. We stopped talking after that.
The last incident was at this dude's house to chill and for some reason, I was brutally exhausted with a bad headache. He said I could lay down if needed, so I did. I didn't fall asleep, just had my eyes closed and he knew this. He got up and crawled into bed behind me, got in a spooning position, and laid so close I felt his breath. I immediately got up and left. We haven't hung out in years because he doesn't know what no means. I got more but those are top of the list.
CharlieAintHere
26. Savior Turned Unwanted Dancer
I was at a club and some weird strange guy started grinding on me, at my back. I was uncomfortable and tried getting away from this awkward situation. So this "nice guy" swooped in to save me and told the other guy “I didn't want it” and the random dude started to go away.
I was pretty grateful initially for what he had done for me. But, 10 minutes later he proceeded to grab my waist and started grinding on me just like what the other dude did. I told him I had a boyfriend, and he said I didn't have a right to "friendzone" him after he saved me from the other dude and that I was probably lying about my boyfriend.
I had to show him my social media as proof for him that I have a boyfriend, so he could drop it, and then he called me a fool and walked away. Like ok?
Totallytubular11
27. An Unlikely Guardian
I met a white man who was significantly older than me. I was 23 or 24 years old at the time and he was at least 70. He kept hitting on me while I was at my retail job. He wouldn't take no for an answer and he didn’t stop bothering me no matter how many times I ignored him.
Unfortunately for me, I had no choice and there was no way I was going to walk away or get away from it because I would have been written up at work. I'm almost completely sure he was only hitting on me because I was one of very few young white women living in an almost entirely ethnic community.
He only stopped and I was only saved because of what I would describe as a large black man, 6 foot 8 inches, and more than 300 pounds, stood next to me until he left. Never got to thank the black guy for bailing me out.
Gothiclg
28. Master Of Sob Story
I matched a dude on a dating site. I swiped because he looked super familiar. I figured out after talking a bit he was my friend's boyfriend's old friend, and we may have partied together when we were younger.
My profile makes a point of saying that because, at the time, I had sole custody of my toddler I had extremely limited free time and was mostly there for conversation and if we seemed to hit it off we could go from there.
So he and I are talking, he's playing this wicked sob story about how hard his life is. How he's the sweetest guy ever and no one ever gives him the chance. He was constantly asking me to hang out, even after I explained that I couldn't afford a babysitter at the moment, and honestly, I just wasn't feeling it with him.
I eventually told him I wasn't interested in a relationship and obviously couldn't give him the attention he wanted/needed. He proceeded to blow up at me. I tried throwing in my face that I went to a party the other day, but couldn't make time for him. Mind you the "party" I went to was a kid's Halloween party my friend and her boyfriend threw for all our toddler/baby-aged kids.
He continued to berate me about how horrible I was and how he just didn't understand why he wasn't a priority for me, on and off for a few weeks until I blocked him. I later learned from his old friend (and neighbor) that he was a drunk, and total bum who always played the same sob stories to any girl he met. He also actively pursued and hooked up with my friend's wife.
Lannahhh90
29. Defensive After Rejection
I had started to see this guy, we had a lot in common and he was pretty cool, but I started getting weird vibes from him. It came to a head when we hung out 3 times and he blew up at me for not inviting him to my house. At this point, I decided I was done. I tell him politely that while he’s nice he’s just not for me.
Shortly thereafter I start dating someone else. The nice guy pops up now and then for small talk. I’m polite but distant and I inform him I’ve started seeing someone else. He gets offended by this and proceeds to tell me how much better he would be for me but I just didn’t give him a chance.
At this point, I tell him that while I appreciate how he feels I’m just not about it. He goes away for a couple of weeks then starts messaging me every couple of weeks asking if I’ve broken up with my bf. I’m not responding to him so after about 2 months he decides to tell me how much he cares about me and he can’t believe that I would have ever EVER treated him this way.
He’s been telling his friends about me that I was special! And my favorite part, “You used to be this sweet southern belle and now you’re just a southern flirt.” I explained to him that his extreme reaction and inability to listen to me tell him I was not interested was very unattractive and while it’s unfortunate that it didn’t work out things would have been resolved and he could have moved in forever ago had he just listened when I first told him how I felt.
He then messaged back, “Blocked douche!” I don’t know that I’ll ever recover.
Zizabeth
30. Casanova’s True Colors
My ex was your typical nerdy "nice" guy but he got away with it because he has model good looks and is generally polite. Most people think he's quite cool and fun, everyone agrees he's a nice guy, but when it comes to girls he's a total spaz.
He writes long messages that can make your toes curl from the sheer intensity of his worshipping like "I have been hesitant to give my heart to another bar one as beautiful, intelligent, and eloquent as you" paragraphs of those awful messages.
I was flattered when it was me. Then one day I was using his phone when I found his messages to a bunch of other girls, each one with the same sort of tone except tailored to each girl because he's a nice guy and good at noticing those sorts of details.
He insisted he never slept with any of them but it was obvious enough that he was TRYING to, just couldn't get them there because they were probably better at sniffing out his intentions than I was.
Not_thedrink
31. Friendship Fractured
He was my best friend. I'd hang out or stay the night with him all the time. A platonic type, no sleeping together or hints at it happening.
After a couple of years, he started doing illegal substances. I had no idea because I didn't know what to look for at the time. One day, I'm at home watching a roommate play video games, and he messages me, saying he's "in love with me" and "it would be a confidence booster if I'd sleep with him, he is depressed and needs the confidence boost. "
Because I cared about him, I politely declined, saying I didn't have an attraction to him that way. He flipped. He began saying I was heartless and not a true friend for "not doing him this favor.” I argued with him for at least two hours.
After hearing him say I was heartless and that I wasn't a friend for sleeping with him, I told him to shut off because I couldn't take his constant self-deprecation and pity for himself without doing anything to change. I blocked him.
We spoke again after a couple of years. He apologized for his behavior, but our friendship isn't the same. We rarely talk these days.
Zombiep00
32. Nice Guy Facade
I used to work at Gamestop and the building was connected to a Starbucks. He recognized me from high school but was a year under me, so I had no idea who he was. He'd talk to me as I waited for my order and he seemed pretty cool.
A couple of weeks later he told me I was pretty and if we could hang out. I'm engaged, so I told him outright. He promised me that he just wanted to be friends, and I'm a very gullible person. He'd get me free Starbucks, and tell me I was a great artist.
About 2 weeks later he asked me to meet him at a bar because he was upset about something. Trying to be a good friend, I go to comfort him. So, I go to the bar, and he's already drunk. I didn't drink because if things turned sour, I could just leave.
He gets all feely on my thigh. I tell him I'm uncomfortable, so he stops and apologizes that he's drunk. I kicked his bum at the pool and he asked me to go smoke with him. I don't smoke cigarettes, but sure I'll go talk.
He pushed me against the wall, kissed me, and put his hands on me. I fought him back, but a dude leaving the bar got him off of me. No "nice guy" will ever be trusted again.
DamselSexbang
33. Failure Of Platonic Connection
We went on a few OKC dates but I didn’t feel a romantic connection. So, I said I wanted to be friends. I also told him that I’d understand if he couldn’t swing it. He said that he was okay with hanging platonically, but I later realized that he was holding out for me the whole time. I subsequently ended the “friendship” for his sake as well as mine.
He then cc-ed me on all his “Flirt is me” social network posts concerning his adult-onset cystic fibrosis, so I ended up deleting my social network. Later on, he texted me a cuss word at 3 a.m. So, I blocked his number. Thankfully, I haven’t heard from him since.
In subsequent dating endeavors, I always abruptly ended all communications with dudes I wasn’t interested in even though some of the dudes were pretty okay from a platonic standpoint
Marlasandiego
34. Two Awkward Approaches
I got two, one that scared the crap out of me and one that just makes me laugh.
The first one was in middle school. The guy stutters out a question on if I'd want to go to a dance with him. Well, he seems shy, but nice enough, hell, why not? Go to dance and he says not one word. I assume after attempting conversation that this is going nowhere.
His friend comes up to me the next day at school and tells me he's so happy that guy and I are dating. Everyone now knows that we are dating. I go up to the guy and ask him what's going on with this. He didn't ask that, he asked me to a school dance and then didn't say a word for 4 hours straight.
He nods at me and just smiles. A friend tells me that it's okay, the guy is a nice guy. I tell the guy that until he asks me out, we're not dating. I then got a 10-minute long voicemail that night from him telling me how he was going to break into my house and do all sorts of things to me because I didn't appreciate him. My father did not find it as funny as the joke and the guy then pleaded it was when he got called out on it.
The second one in high school, had a guy I was relatively friendly with (we went to the same schools since kindergarten, in the same classes) approach me in the middle of class to tell me all about how nice and special and awesome his friend was and how I should go out with said friend of his, who was sitting nodding vigorously about 5 feet away. No matter how many times I said "Nah, sorry, I'm just really not interested,” it still turned into a conversation with me for half the class. Still with Friend nodding in the background.
Feykitty
35. Zoo Tycoon Confession
In 8th grade, I was friends with a guy a year older than me. Our moms were friends, so I would hang out at his house while our moms went to scrapbooking workshops. We played a lot of Zoo Tycoon (the original).
One night, he opened the game and wrote, in the zoo landscape, "Do you want to take our friendship to the next level?" I remember being pissed that he saved our carefully crafted zoo for that message.
I was speechless. I managed to stutter out a "No" I most certainly did NOT want to be anything more than friends with him. He got angry. He yelled something that I don't quite remember about how we were friends so this made sense as the next step.
He kicked some cardboard boxes across the room, turned all the lights off in the house, and started sneaking around in the dark. This was before cell phones were common for teens. All I could do was feel my way to the landline, call my mom, and ask her to PLEASE hurry back.
Looking back, I can laugh at how ridiculous he looked kicking cardboard boxes around, but I thought he would hurt or take advantage of me at the time.
FrancoisLeMew
36. Flirting To Hating Game Character
I was once part of a game-making community and I had a relatively popular project in development. One of the main characters was your typical charming dude who was friendly and flirtatious.
Some dude slides into my inbox because he catches wind that there is a girl around and starts trying to "befriend" me. After I make it as clear as an 18-year-old I can that I'm not interested, he goes off about how he hates this main character in my game because women don't deserve to be treated like that and he just HATES men that are "disrespectful" to women.
Like dude I get I don't wanna sleep with you, but insulting the thing I am making probably isn't going to help. Luckily this was one of the most egregious examples in my life, because very shortly after this I discovered I was a massive lesbian, and even the douchiest women I have dated don't typically follow the nice guy mold. And even if they do, it tends to stay in the pity party zone (which is cringe but not that bad, and salvageable with time) and not dive into the actively threatening and scary zone.
Jupiterthunderrr
37. Wouldn’t Take “No” for An Answer
In college, this frat guy was hitting on me, trying to act all impressive with his foreign exchange experience. He discovered I took French in high school and was trying to be all suave about it. He asked me to his room to look at pictures from his time in France and I told him he could bring them downstairs. He didn't want that and insisted I needed to be in his room to see them. He promised me he was a nice guy, that he just wanted to show me pictures.
The backstory is I'd previously been involved with a guy at the frat who had a reputation as a Cassanova, mainly because he was super hot and could get any girl he wanted. I never slept with him, but I spent the night a lot. He respected my wishes of not sleeping with him and was a really good guy. But his frat assumed I had to be a flirt to hang out with him, so yeah.
Back to my nice guy, he got pissed that I wouldn't go to his room with him, because I'd spent time with the Cassanova. He walked over to one of my friends after I told him no and essentially asked why I was such a fool, where I could hear him.
I went off on him and left. I'd only been with one person in my life at that point, an ex-boyfriend that I'd been with for four years.
Later on, he spread rumors that not only was I a flirt and said I'd slept with guys I hadn't, but that I had an STD. I became blacklisted from the frat (which used to be my hangout) and tried to ruin a relationship I got into later with one of their pledges. I became a joke.
All because I told him no.
Secretlysidhe
38. Date Night Dilemma
I went on a date with a guy from Virginia. He took me back to his family's house as he was staying in the area. I wanted to take a taxi home since I was tired and my place was half an hour away. He would not let me take the taxi home alone. I would not budge. He said he was worried about me being abducted. I told him if it made him feel better, fine.
We get in the taxi and he will not let this go; he continues to apologize and justify it by saying as the man he needs to make sure I'm okay. Being a woman who lived on her own at the time and had taken plenty of taxis, I was highly offended.
He then asks me, "Let me put it this way, if you had a son, and the principal called you in and said he got in trouble for getting a head at school, how would you feel? Now what if it was your daughter who had given a head instead?" I was so flabbergasted at the backward logic of everything he just said. Was he defending his lack of confidence in my independence with society's double standard imposed on women?
When I try to point this out, he gets the driver in on it. The driver tries to be as neutral as possible but ends up falling into the same logic. "Women are less able to protect themselves than men." or "Women are something to be cherished and guarded."
They meant the best, but their closed-mindedness was so insulting I wanted to cry. I knew this was an underlying opinion that existed, but I had never had it shoved in my face. The guy continued to apologize after that night so I ended up having to block him.
Aedri_OW
39. Romantic Gesture Takes A Bizarre Turn
A guy that I’ve grown up with and had been friends with since I was 9 years old (his younger sister and I are best friends) decided one day to turn my bad day around by going into my room (we were roommates at the time) line every edge of furniture with my favorite candy and tea light candles.
There is a trail of rose petals leading to my bed with a bottle of lotion. I come home after work and run in real quick. The car is full of my friends in the driveway waiting for me to change so we can go to the bar, I walk into my room- and process the scene before me. I instantly decided NOPE, and blew all the candles out. I scooped up all the candy in a bowl and placed that in the kitchen. I promptly changed and then left as quickly as possible.
I still cringe from time to time thinking about that.
GraySide390
40. Awkward Defense Amidst Accusation
My old job used to hire temporary workers for seasonal work, and one of the guys asked for every female worker's numbers and texted the ones who were too awkward to say no every single day even when they didn't respond.
One of my coworkers called him creepy in a conversation and he happened to hear her and instead of it making him rethink his actions it just made him weirder. He was so offended and every time she was around, he would get very aggressive and loud and would say things like 'I'm just going to CREEP around this corner here. I was just CREEPING back here to get a CREEPY snack.'
He then complained about her to anyone who would listen. She wouldn't even talk to him after like two days, and this continued for an entire month.
Pinsit
41. Controlling Behaviour
My ex would always state how nice a guy he was and how lucky I was to have such a nice guy like him when there were so many douche in the world. Never mind the fact that he was an emotionally abusive nutso who not only more than once called me horrible things but also decided to use my account ID to secretly track my whereabouts to try to catch me doing something, anything, he could think to yell at me for.
I once stopped for an energy drink at the nearby bar since it was closer than the grocery store or gas station. He scolded me for lying to him about running errands. No matter how much I told him it was for an energy drink, he was convinced I was out cheating on him. Sure glad to be rid of such a "nice" guy.
Datass630
42. Crossing Boundaries
I had to go on a work trip during my girlfriend's birthday and my girlfriend was joking with her workmates that I was going to abandon her for her birthday.
The day of her birthday comes and a manager of a different department from her work whom she hadn’t spoken to before and wasn’t friends with turns up at our house early in the morning with flowers, chocolates, and a necklace. My girlfriend answers the door and is confused as she has never spoken to this guy in her life who has turned up at the door.
She asked him how he got her address and he confessed that he got it from the HR/manager drive. She explained how it was inappropriate and how she was not comfortable accepting gifts from people she didn’t know and he started getting extremely aggressive with her and started berating her.
She phoned me and was crying and I was going mental, phoned my boss and explained what happened and that I had to go back up the road. She raised a formal complaint with HR and shortly left her job after HR messed all but restricted the shared drive and asked the guy not to approach my girlfriend. This guy was a 40ish-year-old guy trying to fire into a 24-year-old lassie and she was genuinely terrified from the experience.
[deleted]
43. Ignorance Of Clear Signals
I was making friends with this dude and it was going great. I’m asexual but a lot of people don’t know what that is so I usually just say that I’m not interested in ever dating anyone.
Anyway, the dude knew I was utterly disinterested in anything but friendship and still, I received a text one night that said “When are you going to let me take you out?” So I responded, “I don’t go out, you know that.” He said “Okay we won’t go out. How about I come over to your place?”
At that point, I was kind of irked. He knew exactly what I meant but was pretending he misunderstood. I don’t know why did he think he could use semantics to trick me into dating him.
So I spelled it out for him. I said I was asexual and that I’d “never dated anyone and never would.” So of course his response was “Except for me.” At that point, I was done. I just kept rejecting him from all the angles he came from. He wouldn’t leave me alone. Eventually, I just ghosted him. He gave me no choice.
It’s not the worst nice guy encounter I’ve had but it’s the most confusing. I said no like ten times. I was a waste of time if he wanted to date instead of being friends. Why do some guys just keep asking? I feel guilty when I have to reject people and I’m assuming most guys don’t love rejection. It’s not a good time for anyone.
Allbeefqueef
44. A Decade-Old Interaction
I recently had somebody contact me over social media out of nowhere. I had never really known him well and really can't remember any interaction with him outside of large groups.
He sent what was an essay about my love life at the time and how he thought it affected him negatively. He wondered if I was negative because I was interested at the time or if it was just because I had low self-esteem. He framed it as if he had helped me out of dark times and then I was just cold to him.
I don't remember ever talking to him about anything so deep and I was sorry confident when we knew each other. Also, keep in mind this was like a decade ago. Anyway, I was polite because it was creepy but ultimately harmless. Then he said he had always found me cute and mentioned that he had dated another "brown-skinned tomboy" as proof, I guess.
He then wished me luck with my current relationship and said to invite him to the wedding. I'm not engaged or anything. It came off as passive-aggressive, to be honest. Not the worst by far, but strange to hear somebody so fixated on the tiniest of interactions ten years on. It was like a whole false narrative.
Nillabeans
45. Web Of Deceit
After breaking up with my ex, he begged me to take him back. When I said no, he became bitter. I found out that since then, he would propose to some girls not only for them to stay with him, but so he was guaranteed he could sleep with them. Yes, you read that right.
He managed to get ahold of my number and text me saying I was right for breaking up with him. That he did deserve better. Then he goes “I’m not marrying this girl anyway, she’s nothing to me. I’m still a nice guy though since I treat her right. There’s another girl on the side I want.”
I messaged his then-girlfriend the picture of that specific text, but she didn’t believe me. My ex, only showed her the texts of me flipping out on him and said I was messed up. The joke was on her when he broke up with her and went out with the girl I told, and showed her about. Needless to say, the nice guy now has a kid and has still not married her.
HomeworldGem