People can be silly sometimes, and there are just things in our minds that lead us to make poor and dumb decisions. It’s like something or someone is whispering in our minds about whether to do or not do something.
However, there are just people who choose to do it, knowing the bad aftermath of it. Those moments are what we call “Dumb Moments.” These people from the Reddit community shared their moments like this!
1. No Logic
As a kid, my parents would tell me to go brush my teeth, and being the stupid kid that I was, I would go to the bathroom and lock the door.
Then I would leave the water running, wet my toothbrush, and rinse my mouth to make it look like I brushed my teeth and squeeze tiny blobs of toothpaste to make it look used.
Then, I would rub the toothbrush across my arm to make the brushing noises while eating mints to make my breath seem legitimate. Overall, this process took more time and effort than brushing my teeth.
carrotsandbread
2. Unfollowed Conscience
Well, during our graduate business school class, I was sitting in the back row, bored out of my mind. I had a foil gum wrapper that I rolled into a horseshoe design.
I then looked at the electrical outlet, and it was like my hand automatically started to move towards it. I remember in my head, I was saying, "Don't do it - you know what will happen!" but I couldn't stop.
Once both ends of the foil wrapper were in two of the holes for the electrical outlet, there was a pop, a spark, and then some smoke. The guy next to me was so startled he flew back in his chair against the wall.
I shorted the whole row of outlets that everyone had their laptops connected to. The professor started walking up to my area to see what had happened, so I pulled the wrapper out of the outlet and tried to play it off.
He only came up part-way and made some comment about "sticky fingers." Later, my peers voted that I was "most likely to burn down the business school." So, I have that going for me.
DIYCPA
3. Yellow Skinned
I chopped an aerosol paint can in half with an axe. I was far old enough to know better, but my cousin and I thought we had it worked out.
My mom always said, “One kid, one brain; two kids, no brains.” Boy, was she right? I was yellow for a week. It was so embarrassing, lol.
Well, our thought process was that if you used a freshly sharpened axe and swung it hard and fast enough, the force/pressure would equal out, and it wouldn’t explode. Obviously, we were wrong.
Also, looking back, I’m sure my mom could’ve done more to remove more of the paint (instead of just my eyes and the majority of my face), but she wanted there to be a lesson learned.
candaNce7210
4. The Rule Breaker
I’m 34 years old, and my Dad still tells the following story of me doing a dumb thing to anyone willing to listen. When I was eight years old, I got a pack of Big League Chew gum.
I was hanging out in the garage with my Dad & when he saw I was about to open the gum. He said, “Now, whatever you do, do not put this in your eye.” I said, “Ok, I won’t.”
I then walked into the house, went upstairs into my bathroom, chewed on a ton of gum, took it out of my mouth, and put it on my eye.
The gum had the perfect texture, sticky and stuck to my eyebrows and all my eyelashes. My eye was completely glued shut from the gum.
I immediately ran downstairs for my Dad’s help, completely hysterical, with a huge wad of gum stuck to my eye. I still remember my Dad yelling, “What the heck?”
MissyDeanna
5. Clear Evidence
I failed a science test. I decided that I would just burn the grade, and it would no longer exist. So I'm sitting in my bedroom (finally without sharing it with my sister) with the door open.
I make sure I'm on the carpet for safety reasons. I just grabbed the entire test, which was roughly three pages. And light the corner.
My brother walked down at the right time and saw me. The paper went up instantly. I had no idea it was going to be that fast! In movies, it would slowly burn so you can see what the message was before the evidence was erased.
My 12-year-old brother quickly put it out with his hands. And later, my mom found a small stain on the carpet. My brother didn't get burned or rat me out. Or if he did, no one told me. Clearly, I failed science for a reason.
texmexcoconut
6. New Fish Species Unlocked
I jumped up and (successfully) bit the string that was used to pull the attic door down. It had a metal bead on it. I thought It was a success.
Immediately after, I remember thinking, “Holy crap, I actually got it in my mouth and broke the string.” At that moment, I realized I was screwed big time.
Then I found out the string was still there, but half my front tooth wasn’t. As the best man at my wedding said, “The attic string went fishing for idiots and caught one.”
Jsn1986
7. Sudden Numbness
I did the foil thing in high school because the kid sitting next to me was arguing with me that nothing would happen. I remember specifically that we were watching a movie.
I tore the wrapper in two, stuck the two pieces in the two slots, and then pinched them together. When they touched, all I remember was the left side of my body going numb and a purple flash.
The next thing I knew, the teacher had run over to the light switch and flipped them on. The other kid and I just stared straight ahead, trying not to look guilty through the faint cloud of smoke coming out of the outlet behind us.
Before returning to his desk, the teacher said, "What was that.” I don’t know how he didn’t realize what had happened or why no one else told on us. But it was a miracle that we never got in trouble for that.
backwards_sallad
8. Face Marks
One day, my parents went next door and left me alone for 20 minutes or so. For some reason, I grabbed a cup from the kitchen, sucked it onto my face.
Then, I walked to their bedroom and sat on their bed, kicking my legs idly and seeing how long I could keep this thing stuck on my face.
I tried to keep it on for 50 kicks, and each time it fell off, I would put it back on. When my parents came back, I was still on their bed, sucking on the cup, and my face had a huge bruise-like circle around my mouth and chin.
It took about ten days to completely fade and go away.
In my 8-year-old mind, the dark bruised circle made me look cool - it was like I had a 5 o’clock shadow or something and needed to shave, sorta like Fred Flintstone.
I remember walking through the woods with a buddy of mine shortly thereafter. There were two older girls who walked by, maybe 14 or 15. I said hi, thinking that my fake facial hair made me look older and cool.
As they left, I overheard them laughing hysterically to one another, “Did you see what was on that kid's face?” “Yeah, he looked like a little monkey!” Suddenly, I felt a bit less cool.
kojef
9. Not Artificial
As we were waiting in line to see The Santa Clause as a kid, I decided a potted cactus outside the theatre was fake (it did not look fake) and stuck my hands all over it to see what it felt like.
I also convinced my brother, who was standing with me, to try it as well.
We ended up with dozens of tiny, painful cactus spikes stuck in each of our hands, and we had to leave to remove them with sandpaper and return to the house.
I just remember my mom turning around in the line and dumbfoundedly asking, "Why the hell did you do that?" To this day, I do not know.
TX_Chainsaw_Manicure
10. Dug Own Grave
My dad was sleeping on the couch, and I happened to be holding an avocado. Without giving it a second thought, I chucked the avocado at his head for no reason.
It plonked right off his forehead, woke him up, and he was so furious he couldn’t look at me for the rest of the day.
He was trying to control his anger.
I was 11 years old, and my dad had a temper. The moment it left my hand, I knew my life was ending, so I just helplessly watched it sail into his sleeping face.
-fakebirds-
11. Dumb Level Of Stubborn
When little me had to pee, and I would do the potty dance, my mom would make me go to the bathroom. As she should, right?
I was a rebel who didn't do what I was told, so I would drum on the toilet lid, thinking it somehow resembled the sound of peeing, and then I'd flush and walk out.
Obviously, I would have to go pee five minutes later, but I did it on my own terms like a real man. I realized after years that I was just making a fool of myself.
WouldBeAllen
12. Little Evil
Ten-year-old me was eating a chocolate bar in the garden and then went inside to throw the paper away. Halfway inside, I passed an empty flower pot and thought, why not throw it there?
Saves me half the way. So I did. But then I thought, if I stopped here, everyone else in the garden would know I didn’t throw it away, so I had better fake going to the bin.
I went to the bin anyway, opened it, pretended to throw something inside, closed it, and walked outside again. The paper remained in the flower pot the whole summer.
_Hoax_
13. Panic Mode
This reminded me of the time when I was 13 and at a friend's place. We decided to get frozen chips (fries) from the freezer and attempt to cook them over a candle.
She had the bright idea that it would work better if we put them on paper and held them over the naked flame. She held it so close that it caught on fire.
She ended up dropping the flaming paper and ran out of the room. The carpet caught fire, and I was left to put it out (it was small enough that I could smother it with a shoe). Left a noticeable burn mark on her white carpet.
Littlelauralollylegs
14. Sizzling Thumb
I remember seeing those old lighters, I wondered whether or not it was hot...Boy, did I learn what 'white hot' meant that day? I pressed my thumb right into it.
There was no pain at first, but it sizzled, and smoke came from it, which made me realize I should remove the said thumb from the lighter.
It actually looked crispy and char-grilled for over a month. I remember looking at it, all blackened, and telling myself to calm down because I was about to be in a lot of pain. It did hurt a lot.
player2_dz
15. Swapped Fire
For some reason, if you swapped the front lighter with the back lighter in my dad's car, they wouldn't work. So, I spent months playing around with the unlit lighter.
After a car inspection, the mechanic must have swapped them and not told anyone. Halfway through a 7-hour road trip, I burnt my entire thumb by pressing against the lighter.
It was charred black. I kept it quiet for the rest of the trip while my family kept making comments about how it smelled like burnt. I guess I felt really dumb. I told them when we got home.
pasterfordin
16. The Bee Keeper
When I was in Kindergarten, I used to pick up bees without hurting them (by the wings when they landed on flowers). I thought it was a skill.
One day, I decided I would show my parents how good I was at it, so I put a bunch of bees in my overall pocket before they came to pick me up after school.
I ran up to my mom, super excited, and as soon as I put my hand in my pocket, I got stung by like 5 or 6 bees at once and then ran around crying and panicking for about 5 minutes.
duckbombz
17. Kid’s Game
My little brother and I used to tie cushions to our chests and then run into each other at top speed. This was fine when we were kids, but a few years ago, we tried it again (in our 30s).
He's a police officer now and about twice my size (and I'm a woman). I don't know what I was thinking.
He was grinning like a maniac as he was coming at me, knowing all along what was about to happen.
This was the first time I'd ever had the wind knocked out of me. I thought I was gonna die. My bust was actually bruised. BRUISED.
junesponykeg
18. Raw Wiener
I was really drunk once, lying in my bed, trying to eat a hot dog wiener. No bun. Just the wiener. It wasn’t even cooked. Yep, I know.
I was apparently far too drunk to handle eating it, so I (for whatever reason) chucked it over my head, out of my top-floor window, and onto the lawn.
My downstairs neighbor was apparently walking to the house when I did it. She complained to our landlord about me throwing a raw wiener at her at 2 am. Our landlord luckily found my explanation really funny.
ureallyareabuttmunch
19. Snake From Heavens
I stayed with my brother for a bit recently. One day my sister-in-law came inside, freaking out about a garden snake that zipped past her while she was mowing the lawn. (Aside: it seemed that this situation had a built-in solution...)
I told her that I would take care of it. I marched outside and picked up the snake--which ended up being much larger than I expected.
It was nearly three feet in length--and flung it into the twelve-foot high hedges along the side of the house. Problem solved!
Er, no. I missed the hedges, and the snake sailed, majestically flailing, into the neighbor's tree, where it wrapped around a branch twelve feet up, hung precariously for a moment, and then dropped into their yard.
They were, at that moment, also doing yard work. I'm ashamed to tell you that I don't know how this story ends. I panicked and ran away. We never spoke of it again. Sometimes, I wonder if they tell the story of the flying snake.
OhReallyNoww
20. The Goal
I had a massive lemon tree when I was a kid, and one day, I thought it would be a good idea for two friends and me to hit unripe lemons with tennis rackets as far as we could in every direction for about 45 minutes.
They were bouncing off roof fences, and I think I heard a distant window smash.
We just kept going because we thought it was great.
Then, an elderly couple came to the front door. Apparently, we almost hit them a couple of times while they were in their backyard.
hivemindwar
21. Magic Food
Reminds me of when I was 7 or 8, and my parents had some company over. At the dinner table, I'd become accustomed to taking scoops of food I didn't want and flinging them under the table toward my little sister's high chair.
Messy baby, no one was the wiser. When our dinner guest suddenly stopped talking, pushed out his chair a bit, and took a half-eaten roll off his lap, he held it up briefly and looked around, confused.
He just set it next to his plate and continued his story...couldn't look him in the eye after that. I had no idea my aim was that off. Never got caught, though.
PoorLikaFatWalletLst
22. Ready To Bake
I just remember my friends and me in 7th grade putting flour on top of the blades on one of those "it's so hot, it's stressful to do anything" days before the teacher came in, annoyed and sweating (she was a very cruel teacher).
She turned on the fan, and a bunch of sticky people got a lot of flour stuck to their faces/clothes, on top of all the flour covering everything in the room.
The teacher just left, and all the kids went to wash up and dust off their clothes. There was no math class that day, and no one got in trouble.
I thought it was a good, harmless end-of-the-year prank. Years later, I thought of our very nice janitor and still feel awful.
untitledagain
23. Bouncing Back
When I was 11, a few friends saw a wooden plank stuck between two trees with nails in each tree. I came up with the idea of taking a stone and breaking the plank by throwing it at it.
We took turns, and I threw first, but it was not that strong. The next guy wanted to outdo me, so he threw as hard as he could.
The rock was around 7 pounds. It ricocheted right back at his forehead. It started bleeding and created a hole 3 inches across. We called 112 (European 911), and an ambulance took him to the hospital, where he got 3 or 4 stitches.
blackcarpet2000
24. Pulled Over
I was pulled over for swerving late at night when I was so tired I was falling asleep behind the wheel. I meant to tell the cop that I know these roads so well that I am just cutting some of the corners (winding country roads at 4 am). Instead of that, when he mentioned that I had been swerving, I told him, "I own these roads."
As my brain processed that these words I was saying were not the ones that I had intended, I completely froze and offered no follow-up to my statement other than to turn away from the officer and now stare straight forward in my car...frozen in terror.
Of all the arse-whip ingest things he could have done, it went as well as I could have hoped from this point. He took a big step back and leaned waaaay down before shining a light right in my face: "Excuse me, son, did you just tell me that you own these roads?"
I responded by cry-shaking, which I suspect led him to take pity on me. Also, my hysterical wife, with no driver's license in the passenger seat, asked me what in the ever-loving crap I was doing to help my cause. I explained my tiredness, he laughed it all away, and I drove home carefully.
steventhewreaker
25. Took It Literally
I was in the passenger seat with my dad when I was 12, and we were inching through a throng of uni students who were collecting money for some sort of cause.
He told me to "throw them some change" from the collection in the cupholder.
So I grabbed some, opened the window, and literally tossed about a dollar's worth of coins onto the ground.
I'll never forget the face of the closest student, obviously thinking, "That freaking brat is making me pick that crap up, isn't he."
watson-and-crick
26. Two Unintentional Pain
One time I really messed up while playing pool, and I hit the cue ball so hard it went off of the table and hit my friend on his lower abdomen.
He curled into the fetal position and started groaning. I grabbed my large glass of tea, walked over, and squatted down to see if he was OK.
Because I rested my forearm on my knee as I squatted, I ended up pouring my tea out slowly directly in front of his face, which surprised me enough that I didn’t move out of the way or say anything.
From his perspective, I squatted down and poured my drink on him while maintaining eye contact and staying stone-cold silent as if to say, “There’s more where that came from, loser.” The look of betrayal he gave me is one of my fondest memories.
Binarytobis
27. All For Nothing
Years ago, I gave a friend a lift, and she sat in the backseat - I asked her to put her seatbelt on, and she said she was ok without, so I told her I was going nowhere until she did, and she pulled the belt around herself and appeared to click it in.
I eventually noticed her hand hadn't moved from over the buckle and that it wasn't actually connected at all - she was just holding the belt next to the buckle, so it looked like it was in place.
I couldn't fathom why someone would rather go to the effort and inconvenience of pretending a seatbelt was on when it wasn't. Keep in mind she was an adult at this point, too.
dialmformostyn
28. Hygiene Trick
My grandparents' house didn't have a hot water system other than a wood-fired storage water heater for the shower, which was only being used once a week.
So washing your hands in the sink felt like you were in hell, and hell had frozen over, especially in winter. The bathroom was also not heated at all, except for that one time a week.
So, kid me, I felt it too painful to wash my hands in what felt like liquid nitrogen every time. But Grandma got suspicious after a while, demanding that I smell my hands when I came out of the bathroom.
So I'd pick up the moist bar of soap, make sure it had touched both my palms, wipe my soapy, unwashed hands on the towel, and present them to Grandma. It seemed enough to fool her, so she was satisfied.
Lots of years later, I enter my much younger kid sister. As the responsible teenager that I now was, it had become my duty to check that my sister had washed her hands on her way into the house from the polar bathroom.
So I smell her hands; they smell too familiar, soapy, but not really fresh... I was mildly impressed, but I had to send her back to actually wash her hands. It was the hygienic thing to do.
trixjewixje
29. Scented Pen
My mum would always tell me to take a bath. One day, Mum had bought me a set of scented pens, and one smelled like soap. I went into the bathroom, ran the shower, hung around briefly, and splashed some water on my hair and body.
Then, here’s my dumb trick: I used the soap pen on my wrists (rubbed in enough not to see the green ink).
I would come out all proud of myself for having not showered.
Then I’ll make mum smell my wrist so she thought I had soaped up. I’m 25 now and realize she probably knew exactly what I was doing.
snacky_bitch
30. Putting Fire Out
One time while pissing at my stepfather's parent’s house, I decided to pull the lighter out of my pocket and light the bottom of the decorative broom they had on the wall in the bathroom.
That thing instantly ignited. I reacted by swatting the flames out, and thankfully, it went out. But I often think about how I could have burnt down their house that day...
I honestly wish I could say this was the dumbest thing I have ever done for no reason. It is not. I later got expelled from school for a similar incident where the flame did NOT go out.
0jaffar0
31. Fighting Ocean
Spring break in Cancun at 20 years old. Came back to the hotel completely wasted at 3 am but wanted to stay up. I decided to go for a swim in the ocean. I was alone on the beach, and absolutely no one was around.
So I set out, feeling refreshed and independent and powerful as I took to the nighttime sea. I'm a good swimmer, but as I'm treading water, my drunken mind realizes the hotel looks smaller.
Hmm, probably nothing. I continue with my self-absorbed thoughts and am enjoying the feel of my body swaying in the open water.
Still treading, pondering life (or more likely thinking about stupid crap like a girl I couldn't impress that night), I noticed the hotel looked really small.
At this point, I knew I was in trouble, but luckily, my current state actually kept me from panicking. I set in a steady swim for shore. But it didn't work so well- after 5 minutes, I didn't think I was any closer.
I didn't know about riptides. So I continued to swim even harder, really fighting the waves and challenging with my entire being.
Luckily, I was in good enough condition that this heavy exertion slowly brought me closer (maybe I moved laterally and got away from the riptide?).
I kept going, desperate, fighting. At one point, I remember feeling defiant and screaming at the ocean. (In my mind, I'm boldly proclaiming my defiance of the natural world, showing that I can beat it; in reality, an idiot struggling in the water, wailing like a drunken simpleton).
Eventually, exhausted beyond what I thought possible, I swam myself to shore. Even in my current state, as I lay on my back in the wet sand, gasping and trying to find air, staring up at the stars, hearing the sea that had nearly defeated me continue whispering calmly as if nothing happened.
I could appreciate the opportunity I'd been given to go on living and not be such a complete idiot who deserved a Darwinian death. Needless to say, that night that I fought, the ocean stayed with me for life.
released-lobster
32. Cry And Cry
When I was three, I did two dumb things at my grandma’s house. One night at three AM, I somehow managed to find my way to an iron that my mom hid behind a T.V.
I plugged it in, waiting 20-30 seconds, and stuck my hand on it. No freaking reason just burned the heck out of my hand. Dumb, right?
Parents woke up from me crying and took me to an Urgent Care or something like that.
Two days later, while everyone was sitting downstairs, I grabbed my favorite truck.
I rolled it downstairs. Now me being the dumb I am (as you know now too), I somersault down the stairs. Came down in a lot of pain and crying. Everyone was around me in two seconds. Didn’t have one scratch on me. Not a bruise, cut, or mark.
Laserguy345
33. Intrusive Thoughts
I stood on a ledge that I thought I could jump to the other ledge, which was about 5 feet away at most. I really thought about it, "Should I do this? Should I REALLY?"
I said yes. I jumped, missed, slammed my face into the other ledge, fell into the bush below (which consisted of thorns), and scratched my entire body because I was wearing a short-sleeved shirt and shorts.
I was so dizzy that my mom and her friend had to get me up and take me to the car back home. This all happened in about 5 seconds, and I was at the age of 11. Life's great.
GuardianBlue
34. Blood Trail
I decided to hit a glass off of my bookshelf when I was drunk in college. Ended up slicing my middle finger really bad but was too drunk to think so.
I went to the bathroom to wash it off and then came back to my dorm room and wrapped it in a towel. My girlfriend and I were just sitting around watching TV when there was a knock on the door.
Security had followed a trail of blood from the bathroom to my room (which was only about 20 feet away) and wanted to see what was up.
I told them I cut myself and tried to convince him it wasn't bad. He took one look at it and was like, "Yeah, I gotta take you to the emergency room."
I really didn't want to go, but I'm so glad he made me because it was a pretty bad cut. Ended up getting a bunch of stitches, and the doctor said I was lucky I didn't slice a tendon. Now I have a sort of Nike swoosh scar from that.
-eDgAR-
35. Not For Science
At age 12/13, I brought home a test tube from class. I don't remember what I wanted to do with it, but anyway, I cleaned it at home and put my pinkie inside to clean it well.
The thing is, these test tubes are really narrow and out of thin glass. As I pushed my pinkie into the test tube, it burst and cut me so deep a piece of my pinkie's flesh was hanging loose, and I bled profusely.
In retrospect, it should have been stitched up, but it kinda healed up. The scar is pretty big and looks like a U half the height of the top segment of the pinkie and as wide as my finger. Karma's a witch.
crybz
36. Unknown Number
I got my first phone when I was a young teen. One day, I was out with my friends when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "What do you want for dinner, Sam x."
Me and my friends thought it would be hilarious to text something crude back and decided on "You can eat my lady part tonight." Didn't get a reply, forgot about it, and went home.
A few hours later, my Mum came storming into my room, demanding to see my phone. Shocked, I handed over the phone. Safe to say, my Mum was absolutely mortified.
Turns out that Sam was short for Samantha, who is my aunt, and the phone my Mum gave me included her old SIM card and number! I was grounded for a long time, haha.
MateriaBoy
37. Cluelessly Dumb
I was hugging a girl that I was way too into at the time (freshman year of high school, so like age 14). I wasn't really sure what to do since this was a kinda of long hug, not like a brief one that breaks immediately.
I really didn't know what I was supposed to do. We were in school, so I couldn't've kissed her (she's very anti-PDA, and there's no way I'd have the guts to do it.
Besides, she was never into me). What else do you do when hugging someone for a long amount of time? I really didn't know, so I decided the best course of action would be to bite her arm. So I did.
TrekkiMonstr
38. Car Goal
In fifth grade, I was in a phase where I was really into golf. For whatever reason, I thought the tiny park in my community was a great place to play.
So I took a miniature golf ball that my dad had previously snuck out of Boomers (instead of returning it) and my 3-wood out to practice.
Facing the street less than 100 yards away, I shot 8 to 4, and it was perfect. Perfect! It landed in front of the bench about 15 feet away from the cars.
I knew I needed to work on my backswing, so this time, I set up in the same spot but swung longer and harder.
The resulting shot sent this tiny orange golf ball into the unrolled rear window of a black BMW driving down that very street.
From my vantage point, I thought the ball had broken the glass, lost my mind, and ran inside my house upstairs and cried. I forgot to bring the club inside in my haze, so it was right on the doormat.
Luckily, I can laugh about it now since the ball didn't break glass, dent the car's body, or hurt anyone, but man, that was pretty freaking stupid.
rahulio_
39. Guy On Fire
When I was in my teens and hanging out with some friends, both male and female, I decided it was time we spray individual body parts with hairspray and light them on fire.
Started with a finger. Then, my forearm. Then, my foot. My thigh. My stomach. Part of my back.
Well, it came to the point where the only logical thing left to put on fire was my private part.
Sprayed it with hair spray, lit it up, and looked like I had the ghost rider coming out of my pants. It was not long until it began to hurt, so I hit it with the towel nearby. After that, it looked more like the Red Skull.
Aregisteredusername
40. Too Much Drink
I was 12 or 13, it was summer, and I was at an outdoorsy camp. On the way to a one-week hiking trip, we stopped at a gas station, where I bought a 2 liter of A&W root beer for 49 cents (2 for 99 cents, I saw a bargain).
As soon as we began driving again, the counselors told us we were 10 minutes from the trailhead, so finish what you got or stay in the van.
Thirty minutes into the hike, I had to pee, which surprised nobody since they had watched me chug my entire freshly opened 2 liters of root beer right before we got out.
This wasn't my first summer at said camp nor my first backpacking trip this particular summer, so they just told me to catch up.
So up a hill I go, find a tree to lean against, and start peeing like my life depends on it. Being a perpetually gassy kid, I fart... and smell root beer, followed shortly by the sound of fizz and a slight but decidedly unpleasant change in the root beer aroma.
Joshua_Naterman
41. Water Balloon
One weekend, I was hanging out at my best friend's place. We went to the dollar store nearby and attempted to buy some water balloons. However, they were all out, so instead, we bought a pack of assorted party balloons of different sizes.
We went back to his house and started filling them up when we realized some of them would be awkward to throw due to their weird size.
We recruited his even younger brother, and the three of us went to the field across the street adjacent to a fairly busy road and started throwing them at cars driving by.
We were not having any luck hitting cars due to the weird-shaped balloons. Eventually, I got frustrated and said, "screw this."
I grabbed a big fat balloon that was basically the equivalent of a medicine ball, walked right up the curb, and two hands tossed it at the next car driving by. Bullseye! Hit the car dead on.
Only one problem, though... The driver had his passenger side window wide open. I essentially tossed a water bomb directly into his car while he was moving at about 40km/h. You better believe that big, beautiful bastard exploded all over the inside of his vehicle.
The next thing we hear is SCREECH as he slams the brakes. We bolt it to his place and hide in the garage and can literally hear the man searching around for us while shouting out a lot of swears and threats about what he's going to do to us when he finds us.
To make matters worse, little brother can hear this and then looks up at the two of us and says, "Are we gonna die?" We had to reassure him it would be fine, but deep down, I was a little scared too.
Eventually, he knocked on the door of the house, and my friend's mom came out. We could hear them talking, and she totally covered for us, but at the same time, we could tell she knew we were the true assailants.
In the end, he eventually left, and we summoned up the courage to go back inside the house. She yelled at us immediately, and my parents had to come pick me up.
We both got grounded and couldn't hang out for a couple of weeks. To this day, I still hang out with the guy, and we bring up this story from time to time and laugh about it.
cheffy3369
42. Different Words
My first job was as a cook/cashier at a baseball stadium. It was an extremely boring job, so I’d zone out regularly, especially when I was working at the food stand cash registers.
There was one occasion when I handed a woman her hotdog, and instead of repeating the price to her, I said, “Say ah.” To this day, I have no clue why my brain and/or God betrayed me that day.
Of course, it had to be a hot dog. Of course, she also had a brain fart and actually complied with my command. She gave me a wide-open “Ahhhhh” for about 3 seconds before coming to her senses and storming off.
BrosesMalone
43. Not For Unprofessional
Late to the party on this one, but here it goes anyway. I was about ten years old. I was in the living room, using a microscope my mother bought me earlier in the year.
It had all the bells and whistles, pre-made slides, scalpel, etc. My sister ran to the front screen door to be let in. The front screen door had a sliding lock just out of my reach, and I knew I couldn't reach it.
So I picked up the scalpel and attempted to jump up and unlock it with that. On my very first attempt, I failed horribly. I jumped up, missed, and began to fall.
The blade of the scalpel punctured my right hand during the fall, and I am forever left with two scars to remind myself to never, ever attempt to unlock a door with a sharp object ever again.
MrOmniWave
44. Liar Liar Pants On Fire
In seventh-grade French class, we were supposed to make a Mardi Gras mask as a homework assignment. I was always a good student, got good grades, did good work.
For whatever reason, I didn't make a mask. So everyone turned them in, and the next day, my teacher was going to pass them back to us and called me out for not turning one in.
I told her that I totally did! What is she talking about? And, the thing is, I probably would have gotten away with it because she liked me and, like I said, I was a good student.
But someone I knew had told me recently that they were terrible at lying and always ended up twitching the corner of their mouth, and it gave them away.
So what did I do immediately after telling my teacher I turned in a mask? I purposely twitched the corner of my mouth! She, of course, noticed and sternly called me to her desk, so I got up and kind of swaggered as if I was hot crap up to the front of the class.
I don't know what we talked about up there, but I know I was allowed to turn in a mask the following day, so it was fine in the end. Why?
LittleNonnie
45. Blame The Bird
I once woke up early, went to the fridge, saw the mayonnaise jar was past due, and decided to throw it out the window. I slid the window partially open, took a step back, and tomahawked that crap right through the window.
The part that was still closed, though. Insanely enough, no one woke up, so I went back to bed, leaving the window with a gaping hole through it.
The next day, I blamed a bird. “It must have crashed in the window and got eaten afterward as it lay on the ground." To this day, I remain in the clear.
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