1. Diminished Dedication
I don't give my best at work because I don't care anymore.
I used to give them 100% and nobody noticed and only focused on the small mistakes I made.
Now I give 40-50% and my manager keeps bugging me about why my performance has dropped compared to before.
I simply don't care, the salary is fine compared to the country's standard but in this field of work is on the lower end of the chart.
I don't care, I'm overworked and underpaid (by industry standard, not country-wide standard).
EpicStan123
2. High School Grudge
In high school, I stole the MP3 player of a classmate.
Went into the locker room during PE and snatched it. I didn't steal it because I wanted it or to sell it, I just did it because she was an awful judgmental queen bee, and I wanted to get back at her.
People saw me with it in my hands, so the next day I was called into the principal's office. Steadfastly and self-assuredly denied everything. They looked at my bag, then called my parents who searched my entire room for the stolen MP3 player.
They never found it, so I was let go. Still got into a fistfight with the girl later tho, as she knew it was me.
To this day I've never admitted it to anyone, ever. I was that petty. I still don't feel regret, even though I'm usually empathetic to a fault. She was that awful to others. I recognize it was wrong tho, definitely.
In any case, the MP3 player was buried in my garden as soon as I got home, and this garden is currently a mega-store parking lot. It's the silliest thing, don't know why I've never admitted to it.
mangotcha
3. Administrative Anomaly
I left my job at an electronics manufacturing company in 2002, but they continued paying me my full salary, including all incremental raises and annual bonuses until they offered me a very generous redundancy package in 2022 due to 'departmental restructuring', including an £85,000 lump sum contribution to my pension fund.
I even got the quarterly magazine and annual Christmas card sent to me.
In March of this year (2023) I got an invite to the 75th anniversary of the company, went along, had a great time at the free bar, and nobody realized I hadn't worked there for over 20 years.
You've got to love a good administrative error.
AdWorried5791
4. Awkward Morning Mishap
I have a bad back and from time to time it goes into a full spasm.
One day I was getting out of bed, and as my foot hit the floor I went into a full spasm. I have no idea how, but a perfectly formed turd fell out the leg of my shorts and landed on the floor. Due to my spasm, I fell and landed right in the poop.
The commotion woke up my girlfriend at the time, and she ran over to check on me.....
I blamed the dog.
I've never actually told anyone this before.
superthrust123
5. Unfinished Graduation
I’m 40 and my parents have no idea that I never actually graduated college.
I went for almost 6 years and never felt like I really knew what I was doing. School wasn’t necessarily hard for me but I just couldn’t bring myself to focus or be dedicated to it.
My parents were SUPER obsessed with the idea that everyone needs a degree to get a decent job, so there was a ton of pressure, and dropping out wasn’t an option.
So, I “graduated” in a winter semester and “decided not to walk the stage” since the December ceremony was always pretty small and I knew they wouldn’t think that was weird.
This happened to be during the recession in the 2000s so I had an excuse for not finding a conventionally professional job right after that.
Now, I actually have a really good job with a company that focuses on hiring people based on experience, skill, and personality, so it turns out I didn’t even need that degree.
But I will never tell my parents the truth.
fredwaterfordisdead
6. A Complex Web of Deception
About 11 years ago I contacted my estranged father.
We had become estranged due to the fact he did ‘bad things’ to my older sister when we were children.
We sent some emails back and forth and I lied that I was doing a college degree and needed help with tuition and costs. He must have sent me about £50k in 3 years, he found out it was a lie as he emailed the uni I said I went to, asking for a receipt for tax purposes and I blocked him and never spoke to him again.
That £50k was spread between me, my siblings, and my mom when we were in financial difficulties and I played it off as winning big in an online casino. I don’t feel an ounce of guilt but I’m not sure if my family would understand what I did.
The man didn’t pay any child support when he and my mother divorced about 12 years before this. So, I feel justified in scamming him.
My wife knows and she’s agreed to keep my secret.
FoolOfATook26
7. Corporate Labyrinth
I have no idea what I’m doing at work.
I went from working in a medium-sized group, wearing multiple hats and getting shit done. To working in a giant corporation where if I draft an email reply and then send it at the end of the day, everybody claps for me.
And I make way more than I ever would at the job where I was actually doing things. It’s just crazy to me.
I’m used to it now, but it drove me nuts cause things I could do in a few hours would take other people weeks to complete. And that’s the norm.
Heavykiller
8. The Phantom Basement Party Pooper
I was once at a party for my nephew's birthday and really had to go.
I noticed they had a basement bathroom, so while cake was being served, I dropped a deuce that could peel paint. I was able to sneak in/out without anyone noticing.
Fast forward to after the party and my SIL and BIL were complaining about two other family members clogging the upstairs bathroom and stinking up the basement.
They complained that the smell lasted for days after that and it had to be professionally cleaned.
To this day, they blame the other couple to the point that they get angry discussing the topic
I’m the mystery pooper.
Shastabh
9. A Silent Promotion
3-4 years ago I was responsible for providing a few reports to different teams. Each month I'd generate the reports, format them in a presentable way for the team managers I was sending them to, and send them over.
Nobody ever said anything about them, never a question about the data or even a reply to my email. So one month I just decided I wasn't going to send them, and then it turned into two months and three months. Nobody ever said a word about it so I just stopped doing it.
Got promoted the following year.
chillinwithmoes
10. The Secret Siblings
My childhood friend has 2 siblings that he doesn’t know exist.
They’re twins, around 2 years old now. I promised to keep it a secret, my dad and his dad are close friends. My dad is quite the gossip and spilled every last detail to me.
Apparently, their father (handsome, tall, a sports prodigy) slept with a doctor who lied about being on birth control so that she could give birth to his children, who she claimed had “superior genetics”.
She was his former doctor who pulled up his private records in order to score a date with him as she had all his contact info at hand. Never wanted child support or even a father in her kid’s lives, just an involuntary Sperm donor. Very weird.
Ziyushii
11. Deceptive Beginnings
I lied on my job application.
I do not have a college degree, I do not actually have experience in finance.
They hired me anyway and paid for me to get my Series 65 and I am now a financial advisor for a major bank.
BTW I hate this job.
Candid_Speaker705
12. Living in Character
My interactions with people are almost 90% scripted just to fit in certain situations.
I just picked up habits and routines of the people around me that I've noticed that worked to be successful in human interaction.
I don't care about anything and barely about anyone else. I enjoy company, but I don't need it. I do have friends and family around me but I don't have a need for them in particular.
Might be an undiagnosed Psycho or something but I do feel certain feelings.
I wouldn't get good jobs or would not have friends If I acted my natural self. Probably would have been disowned by my family.
Big-Breakfast-1
13. Professional Deceiver
I have lied my way into a job.
I only do half of what I am supposed to do and have won awards for it despite being 100% unqualified.
Most of this job is built on reputation and being able to inspire and engage people and I am 100% not who I say I am in my job, in my real life I am an absolute pushover who is actually desperately unhappy in my own life but have no drive or confidence to change anything but I teach people daily how to do just that.
swishswish91
14. Middle School Showdown
In middle school, a kid called me homophobic slurs not just to my face but to others in secret too. I did ask him to stop but to no avail.
He could outrun me so I chased him down to a place hard to escape from at the back of the school and fought him.
I was sick of him tormenting me.
The fight got pretty intense with me kicking him while he was down on the stomach and chest. And I also punched him in the face, giving him a black eye.
I was never reported for it, because I kid you not, he saw it as such an embarrassment that he got beat up by someone unpopular.
Haas_the_Raiden_Fan
15. Secrets Behind the Facade
My husband is bisexual. Wouldn’t ruin my life necessarily but prob my kiddos’ and my husband’s as they would hate him for how I found out: I’m a straight female and he cheated on me for years with male prostitutes.
Everyone in our lives thinks we’re so perfect and that he would never cheat on me.
He has stopped cheating but sometimes I want to shout from the rooftops that he lied and gaslit me for so so long over stupid shit when all the time he was cheating.
IAmMrsMartin
16. Surreal Serenity
I once spent 12 days in a mental hospital because I was suffering from massive stress and insomnia. I voluntarily checked in, but then couldn’t leave for a while.
The secret is that I enjoyed it. I’ve seldom laughed so hard or had such interesting conversations. Also saw some awful stuff, like a woman banging her head against the floor until she bled.
It was weird and surreal—sleeping a lot, lining up to get drugs, a very strange roommate who scared me a little. Lining up to go to dinner. Terrible food. Having very uncomfortable conversations on visitor day.
Nothing else to worry about except when to go to the group. Not having to really “behave” or worry that I was acting properly.
Sometimes I think about checking back in for a little vacation.
gottaloseitnow58
17. Unveiling Secrets
I caught my mom cheating.
Gave her an ultimatum to tell my dad and she didn’t so I did. I couldn’t sleep for days thinking about it. It was affecting me badly.
They ended up divorcing and Mom blames me for it.
We had a rough relationship and it caused a lot of turmoil and stress for everyone involved but my spouse and I ended up taking my siblings in along with my dad and somehow I still get blamed by my mom. It sucks.
Dad moved out about a year ago and is doing well.
dxzsaurus
18. A Hidden Affair
My mother and stepfather had a property they rented to a woman who was going through a separation from her husband. She and her soon-to-be ex-husband had two sons who went to school with me when I was still in high school.
At this time, I was 18 or 19 years old, just having graduated high school.
Anyway, the husband was constantly making accusations that she, probably 40 years old at the time, was somehow involved with every man she knew (including me.)
Truth is, she would report "maintenance issues" and have me come over and sleep with her like 2-3 times a week.
cboxgo
19. Embracing My Choice
My parents will be super disappointed (which isn't a shocker since they've always made it clear I'm the child they hate & wish they aborted) but I got my "tubes tied".
I've never wanted kids, I also checked to see if I had the ability to have kids, which I didn't so this was so much better.
I haven't told them since they always said if I didn't get pregnant soon they'd have someone to sleep with me so I'd be forced to give them a grandchild.
AppointmentHot1099
20. The Hidden Fortune
My childhood buddy, who happens to be a skilled surgeon, hit the jackpot last year with a mind-boggling 10 million dollars in the Powerball lottery. It's mind-blowing to think that someone who was already financially well-off would be bestowed with such wealth.
He has kept this extraordinary news a secret, only confiding in me.
His wife and two kids have absolutely no idea that their lives are about to change forever.
Instead of splurging recklessly like we often imagine lottery winners doing, my friend has chosen to maintain a low-key lifestyle.
He continues to go to work, performing surgeries with his characteristic dedication and professionalism.
His master plan is to invest the entire windfall in gold and pass it on to his children, securing their financial future. It's a move that defies expectations and challenges the stereotypes we associate with lottery winners.
buklauma
21. The Infamous Fart
I once farted just before getting in my in-law’s car because I knew it would be an absolute war crime of a fart.
I’d eaten a hot curry the night before, a few beers, that sort of thing. I’d been farting all day, I knew it was gonna howl.
It was windy, I was safe, I thought. How bad could it be, I said.
I was not.
That thing followed me into the car - my now wife and mother-in-law got into it just after me, and just as I realized I’d made a horrible error of judgment.
They both smelt it and my now-wife thought her mum had left old food in her handbag or in the car or something and it had rotted, that’s how bad of a fart it was.
15 minutes they spent looking for rotten food that didn’t exist and my wife was really angry at her mum to boot. It caused a full-on argument.
That was 10 years ago. I’ll take it to my grave due to the shame haha
shrewdmingerbutt
22. Unspoken Desires
I have mostly female friends and I'm madly in love with all of them and want to sleep with them.
I above all else value them as friends and would never act on my desires. I'm also deeply ashamed as it fulfills the stereotype that guys wanna sleep with their female friends.
stuff_on_my_mind
23. The Secret Father
I am the father of 2 kids with a co-worker. She went through a "wild period" for a year, cheating on her husband who is a police officer. I slept with her several times, at work, hotel nearby, or at my place.
She was on the pill so she never got pregnant.
After about a year she settled down and worked hard at reconnecting with her husband. Seemed to be working, they were trying to start a family.
I figured her wild period was over and moved on. We still worked for the same company but didn't really interact too much.
She texts me out of the blue and asks me to come to my condo to talk. Turns out hubby has low motility and sperm count..( very few and slow swimmers) from his years of PED use and he was against any artificial insemination or anything else. Nothing was working but wanted to persevere.
She doesn't want to wait and asks me to breed her, has a full argument ready, and convinces me. We slept 3 times over 2 weeks and she had a boy 9 months later.
3 years later, we do it again and she has a daughter.
Hubby never knew and is a great dad. But I know.
colodellcmh
24. Struggles of Motherhood
I barely love my kids.
I love them in a way that I love and want the best for all humans. But the behavioral issues no matter what I try, the neediness, the overwhelming fighting amongst themselves.
I wish I could give them to their bio-dad whose girlfriend desperately wants kids, but I know what that will do to their psyche and how bad it will mess up my daughter with her dad's blatant unsubtle favoritism towards my son...
I want to go back in time and erase the decision to keep them. No one would have known. I was 18. And had so much potential.
Now I'm nothing but a mom. And not a very good one.
PersephoneHades
25. Fsfas
If my son knew the truth of his birth.
I pretty much paid a pregnant woman to add me to his birth certificate and then surrender custody to me.
I told my son that me and his mom had a brief relationship and she got pregnant and I offered to raise him.
My son is now 10 and looks nothing like me.
He has blond hair, blue eyes, very fair and skinny. I don't. I've literally had people coming up to me and asking me if I'm a babysitter.
I have ZERO regrets over what I did.
My son is becoming his own person and values honesty. It breaks my heart knowing that I'm lying to him. I just hope he'll forgive and look at the situation as a whole and what a wonderful life I'm providing him with.
CheapDirection2322
26. A Father's Complex Truth
I want nothing more than a divorce from my wife, but I’m afraid of her raising our children without me there to help balance out her crazy. I dislike her as a person and
I’m disgusted by her lack of hygiene but I can’t tell her that because any time I try I get yelled at or excuses thrown at me.
We sleep in separate rooms and haven’t had any intimacy in years.
I just want my kids to grow up seeing what a good relationship looks like.
kindest_asshole
27. Instant Regret
When I was 17 I slept with my best friend's older sister's fiance during a family pool party at their house.
I regretted it immediately but didn't tell anyone. They called off their wedding and broke up a few days later. I feel awful about it, and nobody even knows, but him.
vcityvg
28. Campfire Confessions
I consider myself straight and have a serious girlfriend, but a couple of times a year a group of my old college buds and I say we’re going camping and invariably end up sleeping with each other.
Then we go back to our girls like nothing happened.
henryonbase
29. Mishap in the Crematorium
I worked in a crematorium in the late 80's. We had a shelf in the back where we stored cheap plastic urns. One night as I was sitting and waiting for one cremation to finish there was a loud crash that scared the sh*t out of me.
When I went back to look the shelf had collapsed.
I ended up just scooping the ashes back into the containers but never told anyone about it.
[deleted]
30. Family First
About 16 years ago, my parents (51 M/49 F at the time) got a divorce because my mother turned out to be cheating on my father with a 15-year-old she had met in church.
Once the divorce was finalized, my father began to date his biological cousin and almost married her.
To this day, they act like nothing either of them did was wrong.
nonamesleft--
31. Calculated Coup
I once was involved in a university black market where they handed me out past exam papers because our professor never handed out one for us to practice. I studied them with a friend of mine.
A week later, it was the exact same exam word for word.
Only the year changed. I memorized the answers by heart. I finished in 45 minutes and pretended to think for 2 more hours to avoid getting caught.
I got a 95% in an engineering exam with a poker face.
engineer-cabbage
32. A Mafia Surprise
My grandpa showed me a picture of a family reunion from back in the 70s. He pointed out this fat cat-looking guy and told me that it was his cousin from New York. He said he would show up to these reunions and shower everyone with gifts.
I googled the name and turns out that guy was in the Mafia and had a very large part in a historic moment for organized crime.
WatDaFuxRong
33. The Kiss That Lingers
One summer, I fell in love with my cousin when I (M) was 13 and she was 14. During her visit, she kissed me. I said we couldn't do that again and she agreed. But she added that she was glad that we kissed at least once.
Nothing else physical ever happened between us.
We still see each other sometimes now. And every time we're together, I wish she could've been anybody else's cousin.
Just not my cousin. She once told me outright that she wished the same thing.
She brings her husband to family reunions, of course. He and I look alike, have the same hobbies, share the same sense of humor, etc. But so far, nobody seems to have noticed that she married my clone.
I asked her about that once. She said she really does love him and she loves her marriage. But she added, "He was the next best thing."
EponymousTitular
34. A Lifetime of Secrets and Regret
I was pregnant at 18 by my father.
No one in my life knows. I moved away. I went into labor at 37 weeks. She was perfect. She just didn't breathe. They tried for ages. In the end, they put her in my arms and said there was nothing they could do.
Throughout my whole pregnancy, I wondered how I could possibly love her given how she came to be.
I was so alone and confused. I wished her away on more than one occasion, and then it happened.
It hurts, so very much every day. It's been 29 years, and it still hurts every day.
I've never had another child. It's the price I pay for wishing her away.
No_Strain_703
35. A Painful Attraction
I fell in love with my brother's wife a few years ago, they're separated now but I never even seriously thought about making a move. I have a girlfriend now and even the thought of one of my brothers being into her makes me angry.
I never would have made a move, but that thought seriously puts things into perspective on how uncool it was for me to think about her like that.
I think about and regret it a lot.
[deleted]
36. The Psycho Psychologist
My mother is a very prominent Child Psychologist. She has written books, made DVDs, and trained other psychologists. She has a very recognizable name in the field.
She also likes to sleep with her brother on the side.
I am the product of her extracurricular activities. She neglected and hated me. I ran away from her home at 14 years old to live on the streets.
keeper-of-the-ben
37. Hacker's Dilemma
In high school, one of my classmates thought he was a cyberpunk hacker. He dressed like he was in an old-school punk band and everything.
Our school used a network with virtual desktops, so you could log in to your account from any computer in the building.
One day we were doing research on the library and I dared him to prove he was as good of a hacker as he claimed. I dared him to find a way to log into our teacher's account.
It took him a while, but he managed it and we saw a bunch of assignments to be marked and stuff, as well as some pictures downloaded from a digital camera, so we decided to take a look. They were pictures of a female teacher at our school in a suggestive pose.
We immediately noped the hell out of there before we saw any R-rated stuff and just pretended like it never happened.
MortLightstone
38. Bad friend
I started hooking up with one of my closest friend’s ex not even a month after they broke up.
It turned into semi-dating and I even attended her mom and stepdad’s small wedding.
He would always complain that she wouldn’t do things in bed but she was an absolute freak with me and while that made me feel even more guilty it was also hot.
She had him blocked on everything (related to the breakup, he was no saint), and even after she moved back to South Korea and we ended things amicably I got ahold of his phone when he was drunk one night and blocked her from his social media just in case she ever decides to reach back out
It’s been 8 years and nobody knows
Woolong-Acquirer
39. Twists of Fate
I was working retail and met a girl I liked, but she had a bf. We would hang out as just friends and I was fine with it until she decided one day she wanted to hook up.
I was her side piece for months until one day she came to my house and asked me not to leave because I was supposed to move across the country in a couple of weeks.
Told me she was in love with me and was pregnant and didn’t know which of us was the dad, I moved early and never spoke to her again.
Looked her up on IG a while back and they’re now married with a second kid on the way so I guess it worked out ok.
EndParticular9565
40. Secret Bathroom Meetings
Oh, I got something good, I was 16, young, and crazy in love. My boyfriend (now husband) is very attractive. I had a bathroom in my room, so whenever he'd sneak in my room we'd go to the bathroom and get to it.
We've spent almost every night that year making love in my bathroom.
Multiple times my parents had to wait for me to finish "showering" for an hour, but in reality, I was having my guts rearranged by my boyfriend.
Acrobatic-Repair9100
41. The Expensive Old Jacket
When I was 33, my father died. My mother had passed away a year earlier. A few days after his death I was in his closet just looking at stuff, thinking about what to do with everything.
I saw an old jacket that I had never seen my father wear. I tried it on but it was way too small. That means it would’ve been too small for my dad too. I put my hand in the inside pocket and found a roll of $20 bills. $680 total.
Then I reached into the other pocket and found a note with a life insurance policy number and a name and phone number.
My father told me he didn’t have life insurance before he passed so I wondered if it was an old policy. I called the number, and it was the agent that sold him the policy. He told me there were three beneficiaries and it’s still valid.
It was worth 300,00$ to be split equally three ways between my brother, me, and Valeria. I have no idea who Valeria is.
I took my 100k my bro got his 100k and I guess Valeria got hers. I like to think she was a beautiful woman who rocked my dad's world in his final year on earth.
Damantinomies
42. Roommate's Downfall
I got my college Roommate kicked out of college.
We were good friends, went to a program together became roommates, and gave him a computer to use when he was broke.
He stole a bunch of money from my dad's CC buying takeout for a bunch of people in the dorm, and another person told me it was happening.
I went to him and said it was something I noticed, and that it was over the amount that would be considered a felony, and I would go to the police in a few days if I didn’t get it back.
The cash arrived the following day.
He happened to be on academic probation at the time — he was a real slacker in general.
So I went and saw in his email on my computer I lent him, two different excuses to two different professors why he was absent on a specific day of class — one a dead grandmother, the other the flu.
I forwarded both emails to both teachers and the dean from his email address. He moved out the next week.
NessunAbilita
43. Unforgiven
My wife cheated on me multiple times, that’s not the secret though.
She finally came clean to literally all of our friends and family and has done everything in her power to make amends with me and them and our relationship has been nothing but joy since… now for the secret part.
So my wife has a terminal disease that I knew long before we were married would limit her lifespan, didn’t care I loved her all the same.
I have given my heart and soul into caring for her and even more so as she has gotten older and her health has continued to decline.
When/if the day finally comes I intend for the last thing she hears to be me saying I never forgave her.
JSYK_IHateMyself
44. Don’t Mess With Me
I came home from school about 20 years ago to my stepfather, very drunkenly, blocking the door and telling me I didn’t make my bed before I came home. He said “I’m gonna kick your ass“ and we went outside.
He stuck his face out and said “I’ll let you take the first punch“ totally forgetting that I had been taking kickboxing.
My knuckles scraped the ground and I wish I would’ve yelled out. Shoruken as my knuckles scraped the grass and I hit him in the chin.
His eyes rolled back, and my mom called the police. When the police showed up, he had the biggest shiner ever and the police ended up taking me away.
velexi125
45. A Forbidden Affair
I had an affair with a colleague, which ended just two days ago. He is 24, almost a decade younger than me, and 20 years younger than my husband. We don't speak the same language either, so communication is through awkward translations on our phones.
I didn't mean for it to happen.
We flirted a lot at work (which was mainly silly growling and tickling each other), which I had permission for, but the flirting escalated and then one day we finished a shift together.
We kissed. Two minutes later, we did the deed. I spent the whole weekend in shock, trying to process what happened, and what we had done. I had betrayed my husband over some young guy!
HMCetc