Even though they call themselves “nice guys”, their name does not fit what they are like— being a gentleman? Never heard of that! Manners? What are those?
This article has 40+ stories told by women experiencing the most shocking and unexpected situations while trying to date these self-proclaimed “nice guys”!
1. Popular People vs Nice People
He was criticizing everything I did. Why do I go to university, why do I live where I live, why do I do my makeup, why do I do popular things- he hated everything that ‘popular’ people did.
Which I wasn’t, he just had these ideas that there are things that popular people do and like, and things that only nice people do and like.
It was crazy because we were already in our 20s, and he was 28 talking about this pointless unpopular vs popular thing like high schoolers- also every time he thought I was mad at him, he deleted me on every social media.
It was frustrating, tiring, and hurting. So eventually I stopped talking to him and now I’m labeled as a ‘popular basic woman just like the rest of the females’.
thegirlwhodied_
2. This Escalated Quickly
I was coming out of a string of really bad and toxic relationships so I promised myself that I would try to find a nice guy to date.
Well, I had a first date with this one guy, we'll call him Tim. It was a fine date. He was nice and we had fine conversations.
I didn't feel any immediate chemistry, but I was also not used to dating guys who weren't blatant jerks so I figured that was why I didn't feel an immediate connection.
I told myself I'd go on one more date with him and see if the connection grew in any way. So we go on a second date a week later. It was a short date.
We had an early dinner, and I was back home 90 minutes after he picked me up to drive me to dinner. Again, no sparks, but he was nice and it wasn't a bad date.
So I told myself I'd go on one more date with him and that would be the deciding factor.
I was still wrestling in my head with the idea that I was just not attracted to him because he wasn't a jerk and maybe I was just scared of nice guys.
Well, on our third date, he asked me to move in with him, offered to put me on his health insurance plan (I was uninsured at the time), and told me he loved me.
I very gently told him that he was a great guy, but he was clearly more invested than I was, and that it wasn't fair to him, that he deserved to be with someone who was equally attracted to him.
At the time he was cordial but confused, and we parted ways. The next day, he posts a long, long rant on social media about… me.
He ranted about how nice guys finish last, girls only want to date jerks, he opened his heart and his home to "this ungrateful witch" only to be slapped with a rejection. He left it up for a few days and then blocked me.
idontcare4205
3. Don’t Rush
A day or two in, he started talking about how I was going to marry him, be a stay-at-home mom, have as many kids as I could physically produce, and how isolated I would be.
He never asked for my opinions, that's directly against my life plan and always has been, and was determined to go through with it with only details being my choice. Thankfully got out unscathed, but what the hell?
Radiant_Obligation_3
4. Can’t Admit The Truth
He seemed great. We hit it off, and worked through some early issues (he ignored me for days at a time to play video games with his friends, not even a text of hello or sorry, I'm busy).
His mom was diagnosed with a disease about a year in, and I moved in with him so I could spend as much time as possible with her and support him as she was terminal.
8 months after she passed away, a friend of mine found his profile on the dating app we met on (currently active with a paid subscription, the same exact profile I met him with).
When confronted, he said he was just trying to make friends, and that I couldn't count it as cheating because nobody ever messaged him back.
We tried to work things out, but he was found a month later on the same dating site, by the same friend. He was such a jerk!!!
I wish I could say that was the end, but I gave him another chance. Over the next year, he became the most hateful, miserable man I've ever met and I could no longer mentally handle it. I moved out.
gofish112
5. Listen To Me
I dated a Nice Guy before I knew what Nice Guys were. And it was definitely an experience. He took one of my pictures that I had up on social media (showing my age here lol) and made a background for his account out of it.
Like. If you went to his profile, it was a tiled background of that photo and it was creepy. He was clingy as hell every time we were out in public, which wasn’t often, thank god.
I had only just gotten my driver's license and my parents hadn’t completely let me go wherever I wanted. I went to his house one day after school.
My mom had gotten tickets to go see a movie and said I had to be home by a specific time. This dude was saying typical Nice Guy things and he’s like “Hey let’s play this game. It’s called ‘Are you comfortable,’ and it goes like this.
I’m going to put my hand on your leg and you tell me when you’re uncomfortable.” And he just like put his hand on my thigh, super close to my privates and I was like dude I’m uncomfortable already.
And he started doing the “Aw come on it’s not that bad, I won’t do anything.” but he began to literally not care about what I said.
And my mom called me. And she’s like “RCL, where are you? We’re going to be late.” And I was like oh yeah sorry I didn’t look at the time and I RAN out of that house.
I was trying to break up with him after that and he kept saying weird things like “Did you feel good when we were hanging out?” Like, what? No?
When I finally did break up with him, he started threatening me, changed his stupid name on MySpace to some weird emo stuff, and his whole profile was black.
I ended up getting called to the guidance councilors office and asked about it and I was like GUYS I JUST BROKE UP WITH HIM, HE’S NOT IN HIS RIGHT MIND!
I was curious about him so I tried looking him up a while ago. He’s apparently an Eagle Scout now. So I guess he’s got that going for him.
reasonablecatlady
6. Free Therapy
Not me, and I'm not a girl, but I had a friend who gave a nice guy a chance. They got married & it went downhill in less than a year.
The dude had some major self-esteem issues & sought validation from other women even in marriage. He got caught talking to other women.
He was talking with them on social media, dating apps, etc, and he apparently claimed it was therapeutic for his self-esteem issues.
The kicker was that we all worked at the same place in different departments. It was like being backstage at the Maury show
ih8uheaux
7. A Really Nice Guy
Self-proclaimed "nice guys" almost never are. If you're really a nice person, you don't need to advertise. It’s just common sense.
Then there are nice guys who really are nice but in an overbearing way. No girl worth being with for the long term wants to be worshiped.
I did end up marrying a truly nice guy. He made me laugh. He had his own life and didn't expect me to be his whole world, or for me to change my life for him.
He didn't play games. He listened to what I had to say and didn't come to me with a lot of assumptions about who I was supposed to be.
He looks out for me but knows I can look out for myself just fine. He's kind and I have never met a person who didn't like him.
He doesn't advertise his "niceness" because there's no need. It would make as much sense as sunshine advertising itself.
nakedonmygoat
8. Too Young
I'm 26 and had an 18-year-old flirt with me at work (she was a coworker on a different shift). I guess she was always dating "older" guys, but god I want no part of dating a teenager.
8 years might not be much when you're in your mid-30s +, but in your late teens and early 20s, those 8 years make a world of difference.
She wrote off the age gap by saying "Oh it's fine, I've dated guys your age before". Thankfully she backed off when I told her I'm very happy with my current girlfriend.
She's a nice girl and I still talk to her at shift change occasionally, but damn, that's a hard no from me. I really can’t do that.
floridaman1467
9. That’s Not Love
It went really well at first until like 1 week into the relationship he kept saying how much he loved me and how he couldn't wait to move in together and wouldn't let me hang around my other male friends.
He wouldn't stop texting me and would never leave my side. It got really annoying but he didn't stop until I broke up with him.
He called me a fat witch who no one could love and he's happy that I used to have problems and said I should start having them again. That was very much a fun relationship.
Iwanttokaikaiwithu
10. No Need To Call Me Names
Terribly. The first (and last) time I slept at his house, I wasn't ready to have intimacy with him and he got upset and shouted, "You'll sleep with everyone except me!"
Like, what the actual hell?! Portraying me as a bad woman because I wouldn't sleep with him is some really messed up stuff.
It was really shocking as we had been friends for years. In my experience, no guy who ever called himself a 'nice guy' was actually a nice guy.
Animefaerie
11. Dirty Lies
I knew him for a year before I thought I should give him a chance. Turns out, he'd deliberately never mentioned the fact that he had 2 kids because he knew I didn't want kids of my own.
He figured there was no way I'd date him if he was honest. I found out when because we went back to his apartment, he insisted we sleep on the couch.
Which was bizarre, but I was too tired to get into it at that point because it was like 3 am), and the next morning we were woken up by his 4 and 10-year-old children.
Turns out, he left them alone all night to meet me at a bar and we had to sleep on the couch because his daughter was asleep in his bed.
Anyway, that's when he revealed his whole plan, and I've never been so mad in my life. Partly at the fact that he thought he could like, con me into dating him, but also, what the hell?
His kids deserved so much better than him as their father. It's been probably almost 15 years and I'm still kind of mad about it.
[deleted]
12. Don’t Take It Personal
He became very clingy. Very quickly. He would text me at stupid hours and get mad when I didn’t reply. He would even disturb my sleep.
I would wake up with the same texts on different social media accounts, followed by "Why are you ignoring me? I thought you liked me :(".
I failed exams because he wanted to spend every waking hour with me and I couldn't just study. He would get offended when I wanted to have time alone.
Every time I would tell him to tone it down he thought it was because I didn't love him enough. Every time. He took everything personally.
It's such a shame because we were such good friends before that. After we broke up, he turned all of our mutual friends against me.
I spent a lot of my college years blaming myself because "maybe I was a rude woman to him", or "maybe I should've been nicer". It was messed up, man.
the3rdfriend
13. Hiding The Truth
It was SO bad. About 3 months in, he asked me for advice on some selfies he took (ick but whatever), and I chose one. He never posted it to his social media but I thought nothing of it.
Two weeks later, my friend sent me a screenshot of a dating app profile and said “Isn’t this the guy you’ve been dating?”. It was him and he’d used the picture I chose as his main picture. What a bummer.
[deleted]
14. Such A Scary Guy
I almost gave the “nice guy” a chance but after he showed up at my house uninvited and made my dad super angry (had a strict “no boys allowed” rule until I hit 18; I was 15 at the time), I gave up.
He begged me to “give him a chance” because we both liked the same video game. That was it. Glad I did give up because of the stalking, inappropriate touches at lunch, and creepy talks about “what he wanted to do to me”...
He was trying to convince me to sneak out in the middle of the night to see him, and etc absolutely terrified me. I haven’t seen him in quite a while but I’m honestly still scared to be alone in that county.
I have a boyfriend now that doesn’t do that but I never go visit my parents without him or stay at their house alone. I’m now 23 and still worried.
CosmicHyena24
15. The Dog Made It Worth It
Met a nice guy on a dating app. He was really awkward with few social skills, but he had a really cute dog so I figured why not.
The entire first two months of the relationship I was terrified thinking I was being gas-lit because he was just so nice.
I had a history of toxic relationships.
Two years later we are engaged, just closed on 8.5 acres of land, and discovered we are pregnant last night. He's still really awkward and his dog is still really cute.
cottagelass
16. Not All “Nice Guys” Are The Same
Firstly a genuine 'nice guy' is different than a guy who walks around feeling entitled to women's attention. That’s not it.
I met a genuinely nice guy 13 years ago when we were both in the same post-secondary course. He liked cats, board games, loved his family, wanted kids one day, liked to cook etc, etc.
Found out later he was often friend-zoned by women he had an interest in (and was ok with that), in fact, he expected that we would always only be friends.
We have been together for all 13 of those years, married for 7, and have a kid and four cats. We are both each other's best friends. Work on yourself. Be nice to people without expectation. Be humble not entitled.
CypripediumGuttatum
17. Show Him Who’s The Boss
He told everybody I was his girlfriend (I wasn’t we were just seeing each other a little bit), tried to attack me with a necklace after I asked him not to buy me one (he broke my favorite necklace).
He blew my phone up for 4 hours some days so that I couldn’t even use it, and would show up at places I was at without telling him.
He would do impulsive things or do substances whenever I tried to stop talking to him, then sent everybody we knew a picture of my body after I finally cut things off and filed a police report against him.
So my dad came up with a great idea and showed him who’s the boss in broad daylight and then he finally backed off. He deserved it, and I regret nothing.
Zepplitty
18. True Colors
I was in a relationship for 1 year and 8 months and he ended up being manipulative, and physically and really toxic. I never expected this.
Two things that he said to me that still hurt are after asking why he never called me pretty; he replied “I never say because I never think it”.
After we had a weekend getaway, he said that: me being on my period “ruined” the entire experience. What a freaking jerk!
I had a hard time leaving because he never showed his true colors to anyone so everyone would say “he’s not that bad, he’s so nice!”; And he was not.
After we broke up, he also showed up at my college campus out of nowhere and demanded we talk, so he stalked me. Not a good time at all!
ZoopZoop4321
19. Finding True Love
I spend most of 2020 into 2021 dating a "Nice guy." The dude traumatized me. He spent the first couple weeks of our relationship basically downloading my personality to reflect back to me.
He thought that I’d be like "Omg, we're the same person!" and (hopefully) fall in love. The nice guy act was a cover for a tendency to narcissistically manipulate me.
It’s an even bigger cover for his debilitating issues. After being messed with for a year (almost to the day), I finally broke up with him and now I'm dating an actually nice guy.
The difference is that the first guy's "Niceness" was a freaking ploy. Actually "Nice" men don't need to be overly nice at first. That is just over-compensation for what's to come.
smellycaat
20. Never Again
I found him very smart at first, but after dating for a while and sleeping together, he proceeded to become the WORST misogynist I've ever known.
He tried to control my choices in food, clothing, friends, political stance, EVERYTHING. When I ended things, he proceeded to share with his friends (who were also my new friends at that time) all the things I shared with him in confidence while we were dating.
When I finally blocked him from everything, he tried to reveal things in class group chats where our classmates (outside the friend circle) were members of.
It was the worst dating experience I've ever had and he wasn't even good-looking. Needless to say, I won't ever indulge in charity cases again.
LetsGoVovo
21. Some Things Never Change
We had a messy, volatile on-and-off thing going for a long time. He cheated on me (as well as the next several girls he dated). Then I moved away and developed a hardcore independent streak.
I became career-driven, while he got with and married one of my best friends. They've been together for 10 years now, married for about 6 and they have a rainbow baby.
He seems to have shaped up and we all have dinner once a month or so. I was also with a genuinely nice guy at one point. An unfortunate series of life circumstances at the time kept us from officially making a go of things.
He got with another girl who ended up pregnant a month into their relationship. They got married and have 3 children. Out of all the people I was with, he was the only one I would have considered a future with.
Old-Opinion4547
22. Careless Guy
He refused to wear protection, then tried to guilt trip me because I refused to be intimate with him, and then made me walk home alone in the rain.
He then also told me I was overreacting when I had to call the cops because a random guy started following me home, despite my clear distress.
This random guy in question got picked up for trying to break into my neighbor's house after I made the call. He was also a self-proclaimed nice guy...I should've known.
MD564
23. Missing Him
I told him I didn’t want a relationship, I wanted someone to talk to. I had gotten out of a toxic relationship about 4 months prior.
He said he didn’t mind. I was also talking to someone else and he knew, his response was “As long as I get my time too”.
We became inseparable. We lived 30 minutes apart but saw each other almost every day, not going more than a day. We texted all day, every day.
Finally, I asked him “What are we doing?!”. And he looked shocked and said “what”. I’m like “What are we doing, we see each other every day and talk all the time, what are we doing”.
He looked at me, mouth agape, and said “I thought we were dating”… so that’s how we became a couple.
Our relationship was perfect.
In every place I struggled, he was strong. Where he struggled, I stepped in. He was my best friend, I didn’t believe in soulmates until I met him. We melded together.
There was not one day where I questioned how he felt about me and I would find ways to make his day better whether that was getting him water when I saw he was out or making a special trip upstairs to kiss him.
We were perfect. He had an accident a few weeks ago. I’m a wreck. But even with this ending, I would choose him again and again, without a doubt. I miss him terribly.
Ca_Hurting
24. Then Find Better
This so-called “nice” guy was a self-proclaimed feminist and talked all the time about how he respected boundaries and consent (to the point where I wondered if it was ironic?).
He had a shirt that said “The Future is Female” and all that stuff. Don’t think a day went by that he didn’t mansplain the hell out of everything.
My favorite games (many of which I’ve played 3+ times), streaming (which I actually do, he just watches them), music (my favorite artists aren’t as good as his), reproductive rights, and so many others.
That’s not THAT bad, just annoying, but then when he started getting feelings for me he confessed. I turned him down because I had only wanted to be friends.
And frankly, lately, he had been annoying the hell out of me by acting like he knew everything better than me. He then proceeded to absolutely blow up my DMs.
He was saying how I’m just looking for people to use (even though I run my own business and am perfectly fine being alone) and that I’m a witch for flirting with him.
I never flirt with anyone, it’s too uncomfortable, how I’m only friends with “another guy friend of mine” to be intimate with him, and that he worked in a BANK and he could do way better than a bad woman like me. Oh, please do.
Throwawayrubbish30
25. Anger Issues
I joined the student government and made a new friend on the first day. He asked for my number so we could easily contact each other considering we were working in the same department.
Figured it made sense so I gave him my number. An hour later I got a text message asking if I wanted to hang out sometime. Still didn't think much of it and figured I would reply later after class.
Around half an hour later he sent me another text asking if I was interested and why I hadn't replied yet. Then he calls me.
I don't pick up because I'm creeped out at this point. He leaves me a voicemail and starts flipping out on me saying I should just be upfront with him instead of leading him on.
He immediately calls back again and leaves a voicemail asking if I'm still interested if so I should let him know as fast as possible.
He leaves another voicemail and gets angry at me saying that I'm not worth it and telling me I lost my chance. Then he calls again, I decline the call and block his number. Never saw him in student government after that day though.
purplepaisley22
26. No Means No
When visiting my hometown, an old guy friend from high school contacted me saying he and a group of old high school buddies were going to a "coffee house" at our old school and then to a bar after and they wanted me to come.
When I got there, it was just him. He told me that one person canceled and the two others were running late and would meet us at a bar after the show. I always felt comfortable with this guy, so I didn't mind sitting in the back of the coffee house and catching up.
After the coffee house, he offered to follow me home so I could drop off my car. He didn't drink, but I did at the time. He said he would be my DD.
I thought that would be alright. My mom knew my plans. We get to the bar and a couple of friends are there waiting on us with drinks for me.
I have about 4 mixed drinks. Our two friends took off, but my ride was finishing up a game of pool, so I waited. He ordered me another drink even though I said I had enough.
He got frustrated and offended that I wouldn't drink it since he paid for it. I caved in and drank it. After driving me home, he tried to be intimate with me in my driveway.
Hands all over the place, kissing me while I pushed him away. I had to slap him across the face to get him to stop. After slapping him, he started complaining.
About how lucky I should feel because he was a really nice guy and treated me like a princess all night. He also screamed at me from the car window that I was a witch. He was not a nice guy.
throwawaywinnie
27. Have You Made Up Your Mind Yet?
Many moons ago, I met a guy on a dating app and went on exactly one date. We had an okay time until the end of the date when he would not let go of me.
As in, hugged me and wouldn't stop. At first, I kind of laughed, but it quickly accelerated to "Okay, freaking let me go now."
He let go about 2 seconds before I went screaming, and suffice it to say I was done with this guy forever.
He sent me three emails that night, and three the next day, and kept this up for about a month. Then about three months later he emailed me again, to see, "If you've decided you're into nice guys after all."
fractalfay
28. You Don’t Look Good Anyway
My most recent "nice guy" exchange was the day before Thanksgiving. I stopped into the local dollar store to buy one of those cheap aluminum turkey roasting pans, as I do every year.
I pick out my pan and go on to debate whether or not I need extra serving dishes when some guy approaches me. He'll be SG for 'some guy' and I'll be me:
SG: "Hey beautiful, when can I take you out to dinner?"
Me: (trying to be nice, I flash my wedding ring) "I'm married"
SG: "Ahhh really!?"
Me: "Yeah... " I continue to look at cheap serving dishes
SG: "Well, you know, I'm married too" (he flashes his ring)
Me: "Dude, that's messed up."
SG: "We can go out to dinner as just friends."
Me: "No, we can't."
SG: "Oh what, your man doesn't let you go out with your friends?"
Me: "Your intentions are clear, and you aren't my friend."
He continues to try to argue with me, about how controlling my man must be and how he just wants to 'be friends'.
Me: "Dude, why the hell are you arguing with me? You have zero chance of taking me out to dinner. All I want right now is for this conversation to end."
SG: "Whatever witch, you don't look that good anyways"
Me: "Freaking awesome, go away."
monkeyfox
29. No Appreciation
I had one guy who had a crush on me completely stop talking to me when I started dating someone else, but on my birthday I got a huge box in the mail from him.
It had a ton of weird stuff in it, bed sheets, a stuffed giraffe, an old journal from a young grade that they had to write in for points with new entries made about me (all written in his "kid" style);
A framed collage of pictures of me and screenshots of our text conversations, a letter explaining the giraffe begged to be sent to me, as well as congratulating me on my 4-month anniversary.
I called him immediately to tell him that it was inappropriate and he called my boyfriend and got into a fight with him or something and then posted on social media about how he "went out of his way to get a nice gift for a girl who didn't appreciate it."
[deleted]
30. How Dare You?
One time I got a five-page love letter from my best friend's fiancé. Three months before their wedding. I had been dating somebody for 1.5ish years by then and we are still together now, going on 4 years.
The letter was typed and put in my mailbox and pretty much asked for me to be a sister's wife to my then-bff. The entire letter was creepier than that if you can believe it.
But I'm just giving you a gist of the situation here. I turned the guy down and let my friend know that I would no longer be a bridesmaid or attend her wedding In general.
My boyfriend let it go because I told him I could handle it, but then the persistent love letter guy wouldn't leave me alone.
This resulted in my boyfriend telling him that he had let the love letter guy say what he wanted to say without getting involved but now I had made my choice and he needed to let it go.
The love letter boy got very offended and called me and my boyfriend terrible things, hurling insults and accusations.
tiffasenko
31. Have Some Manners
I had a random guy add me on social media. One mutual friend, but nothing else in common. No idea who he was, so, logically, I ignored the request.
The next day I started getting messages. "I know someone as beautiful as you would never talk to me, but I have to try."
"Girls like you are the worst. I'm just being nice." "You could at least say hi, witch, I'm the best you could get." I blocked him. I was thoroughly creeped out for a while after that. Who does that?
alchemyshaft
32. You Don’t Know What’s Good For You
I was getting tutored at school one time, and the guy who was tutoring me was asking what my plans were for the weekend. I assumed it was small talk so I just said the usual, studying, working, hanging out with my boyfriend.
He got so pissed. He started to rant on and on about how girls like me were all the same. Always "using" guys and then never giving anything in return.
That he helped me so the least I could do was go out on a date with him. That he's so nice and no girls ever want to date him, probably because we all like jerks (his words).
He said I was a fake/tease too for allowing him to tutor me. He got kind of aggressive too and started to slam things around/shove chairs into the tables and stuff. I noped out of there so fast.
Dial-1-800-ANGEL
33. That Lunch Has A Price
In the first few weeks of my freshman year of high school, I was waiting in the lunch line when a senior came up to me and offered to pay for my lunch.
Despite being young, I can still tell he's obviously going to try to make a move or something but I say screw it, free lunch right?
Anyway, he buys my lunch and I expect him to ask my number or some other petty stuff, but this guy says, and I quote: "Meet me in the bathroom after lunch."
Aurora320
34. Appreciate Us More
I've had several guys who I went on a date with who insisted on paying for my meal or drinks or whatever who then turn around and get really angry if I don't want to be intimate with them because I "owe" them.
When I point out that I'm not a streetwalker, they always tell me how I should be more appreciative of how nice and kind they were to me. I always stop dating for a while after this happens.
coughdrop01
35. Make Up Your Mind
A long time ago, a guy in my group project insisted on driving me home afterward because he didn't want me to walk in the rain. How nice of him!
The next time our group met up, he wanted to drive me home again but I declined because I was going to a friend's place that day.
He blew the hell up at me and said the only reason I wouldn't date him (first of all, a ride home is not a date, dude!!) was because he was Middle Eastern.
I already had a boyfriend at the time. Who was Lebanese. I thought that would shut him up, but then he said that white women shouldn't be with Arabic men!
Like... you just wanted to date me a second ago, pal. Another dude in the group thankfully suggested subtly that we finish the project via email. A true bro. I'll never forget you, the guy whose name I forgot.
sweetrhymepurereason
36. Keep Your Mouth Shut
It was high school. I considered the guy my best friend, and when he revealed that he had feelings for me I rejected him and asked if he was comfortable staying just friends.
He INSISTED that it was cool that I didn't feel the same way and he wanted to keep hanging out platonically like nothing ever happened.
He was mostly pretty okay about it. Until I started seeing a girl. "Wow, even girls are getting a shot with you before I do, huh?" he "joked".
I told him that my new relationship was a secret because she and I were both still in the closet. He was the only one I told, since, you know... he claimed to be my best friend.
By the next week, everyone in our entire hometown knew. I faced tons of backlash. Got many slurs muttered about me in the hallways at school. Good times.
morticianmouse
37. Go Back To Your Wife
I was friends with my coworker who was significantly older than me. He had a wife and a newborn baby. (I was 18 at the time FYI).
We never talked outside of work, just were friendly during office hours because we worked in the same room and were part of a small company.
We would often go for lunch together because he could drive and I couldn't, and there were no food places within walking distance.
Slowly over time, he started hitting on me and flirting with me more and more. I always made a point of shutting him down, and not in a joking manner.
Nearing the end of my contract at the company, he insisted we go for lunch together that day. Alright, we go. He tries to buy my lunch but I tell him no.
We're driving back and he's really laying the flirting on thick. We pull into our office's parking lot and this fool looks over and puts his hand on my leg.
Before he could say anything I looked him dead in the eye and told him to get his freaking hand off of me. Homeboy started in with the "Oh hey I didn't mean anything by it I'm a nice guy" crap.
I left and went inside. Later that same day when he was back in our room he kept saying things about how we were good for each other and he was a good guy and he thinks we could really have had something if it weren't for his wife.
I was honestly scared to go to work for the next week because I thought he might try to kiss me. Ugh. The most disgusting experience I ever had.
JuPasta
38. He’s Not Like Other Guys
I live in Australia and there was a touring band from the US who were visiting I ran into a band member at a cafe (I previously never heard of the band, but the internet later confirmed he was indeed, legit) we struck up a conversation and I liked his accent and he invited me to a show.
I had family plans so he gave me his number. I contacted him and he out of nowhere proceeded to blow up my phone with message after message, asking me to meet him at his hotel, send him explicit pictures, etc.
He became more and more agitated that I wasn't falling at his feet. I was pretty weirded out and didn't respond to the 43 messages he'd sent in just over an hour.
Knowing that I said I was at a family event, he started calling. I don't answer. He gets mad, tells me he'll 'meet someone else tonight anyway', and goes to play his set.
2 am rolls around and I get a voicemail from him apologizing and sobbing telling me 'he's not like those guys!' Please forgive me?' I block him.
Within a few minutes, an email pops up with a video of him touching himself. I then never heard from him again and he unfollowed my social media and blocked me. I found out later he also had a long-term girlfriend. What a jerk. Literally.
charluebear
39. Avoiding Conflict
I went on some dates with a very nice guy (who naturally complained that girls didn't like him because he was "too nice"). The problem was that his idea of nice was avoiding confrontation.
I did something that upset him and instead of talking to me about it he sent me this insanely long text message that came through scrambled and I could barely read it. So I say come over and we will talk about it.
He shows up and says basically nothing even when I am asking pointed questions based on what I was able to decipher from this crazy long text.
This happened a second time and I gave up. He was nice but that definitely wasn't the problem. It was that he never wanted to say something even mildly confrontational.
Which meant we couldn't ever talk about something we might disagree about. No way to move forward in a relationship like that. So now I'm just one more woman who didn't like him because he is "too nice."
myBisL2
40. He’s Not As Nice As You Think
I left a university club meeting and the organizer told all the guys to walk the girls to their cars to protect them. One guy walked me to my car and then pinned me against my door refusing to let me get into my car until I kissed him and agreed to go on a date with him.
He kept saying he was a nice guy, he walked me to my car, he was a gentleman. I kept begging him to let me go and that he was hurting me (he had pinned my arm behind my shoulder.
My shoulder hurt for a week.). I finally relented and let him kiss me while I lied that I would go on a date with him. I finally got home and told my friends what happened.
They said, "Why didn't you just agree to go on a date with him? He's such a nice guy!" That happened 10 years ago and it still scares me.
ubermadchen
41. How Did You Even Found Me?
He thought being aware of the fact he was acting like a nice guy meant he could act like a nice guy going out that night he'd check my social media to see if I added a guy.
And if I did it invariably ended in one big horrible fight, and "he's just the paranoid type" "he's just a natural worrier why can't I deal with it?"
On New Year’s he posted a long-winded status about wishing he could cry less, and how he should learn to ride a motorbike (I kissed a guy NYE and mentioned I like guys who ride motorbikes once).
Honestly, it took a long talk from a friend to realize what he was doing was emotional manipulation not just being a jerk. He'd been chasing me since I was 16 and he was 23.
I cut him out of my life entirely and got a wonderful boyfriend. Lo and behold not a day later one long text about how I found "my one" and he's "everything I'm not, just what you wanted" How he got my number is beyond me.
[deleted]
42. Don’t Listen To Him
I'm into girls and have been out for a long time so it's not a secret or anything. Back in uni, there was this dude who was a mutual friend with my friend group.
I got along with him okay before things came to a head around my last two years. Apparently, he had been having a crush on me and had been resenting that I wouldn't reciprocate.
He proceeded to tarnish my reputation with my friends and got them to basically up and abandon me.
When I met my current SO and we were working towards getting together, he sent a former friend to tell my SO that I'm a bad person.
It’s a good thing she didn't listen to that loser. We've been together for 3 years now, and our bond grows stronger every day.
assesundermonocles
43. Not Interested
A past co-worker had a huge crush on me. He was very sweet but I would ignore his incessant messaging and when he asked me if I received his messages that weekend, I came up with a basic excuse, "sorry but my phone is messed up and I don't receive messages on time."
This freaking guy not only believes a terrible excuse, but he adds a phone line to his phone plan, gets a great quality, brand new goddamn phone, and "surprises" me with it at the end of my shift.
As he stood beside my car with a bulgy-eyed stuffed animal and a T-Mobile box, I wanted to crawl into a hole. Long story short, let him down easy and he cried.
No, he did not get watery-eyed, he freaking cried with snot coming out as I gave him a ride home because he had taken the bus for an added surprise so I wouldn't suspect he was there.
unbefittingalady
44. A Huge Stalker
I went on a date with a guy who did actually seem quite nice. Almost... too nice. Such as over-the-top compliments every few minutes, outright refusing to let me pay (I gave in because I didn't want to argue in front of people), and agreeing with my opinion on absolutely everything.
At the end of the date, I tell him that I'm sorry but I don't want a second date, although I do agree to be friends when he asks if that's ok.
Being friends actually goes well, we hang out a couple more times and he's way less OTT. Two weeks later, I went away for a week to Auckland and met a guy online while up there.
I came back, and a couple of days pass then I hung out with the first guy again.
He asks how the trip went, I tell him what I got up to, and then... it gets creepy.
He tells me he can forgive me for cheating on him, because he knows I'm the one, and that we're going to get married one day.
As I'm sitting there with a look of “WTH” on my face, he continues that he understands that I only slept with someone because I needed a release since we hadn't "consummated our future" yet.
But perhaps it was time because he didn't want us to get too old to be good parents (I was 20!). I noped right the hell out of there, and for the next month or so I swear I caught glimpses of him hanging around my work and home.
tigerjess
45. Not Worth It
I met a guy at a party, I honestly didn't find him attractive but I didn't even care because personality matters more to me.
He asked me if I was seeing anyone and I told him I'd just gotten royally screwed over by my ex-boyfriend and he told me how terrible he thought that was, saying he could never imagine messing with someone's emotions like that...etc.
I was drunk so we ended up kissing a little and we exchanged numbers. We hung out a few times but only in his car, he would never actually take me out.
It got to the point where he wanted to "fool around" and I told him "In the car? Yeah right, there's not even a TV in here."
...This dude put a TV in his car. He picked me up one night and "surprised" me with the TV then brought me to my then high school parking lot and asked for intimacy.
I turned him down and we watched some lame movie. He was obviously irritated with me but I didn't care, I was more irritated with him.
I quit seeing the guy when I found out he had a fiancée and a child on the way. Turned out not to be a nice guy at all.
indriyasavi