In our lives, there are people who love to interact with others. Just having small talk without knowing how things will end up. Some women are just talkative.
However, some people tend to regret randomly having a conversation with a stranger. Just like these people from the Reddit Community, who shared the most awkward statement they heard from a guy. Check these out!
1. Weird Statistics
I'm not sure how "awkward" this is, but it sure felt awkward at the time.
In my junior year of high school, I had a US history class with this guy I had had a class with once, but with whom I wasn't really friends. The very first day, I took an empty seat a few ways before him.
About halfway through class, he leaned forward and got my attention to ask if I was a lesbian. I gave him a confused look, and he went on, saying, "1 in every 10 girls is a lesbian, and there are 10 girls in this class. You have the shortest hair, so I figured it was you."
gorgeousaurus
2. The Fever
Okay, I'm late to this thread, but I will share anyway. So when I was 18 I worked at this Boy Scout camp. I was one of the first Asian females ever on staff, and the staff was primarily white.
Anyways, this one white guy got my number from his friend and started texting me. Out of nowhere, he told me he had yellow fever. Being the naive 18-year-old I was, I was like, "Oh, man. You should probably get that checked out."
He goes on and on trying to be smooth, and I am clueless. I am looking at WebMD on my phone to find out about yellow fever and its symptoms. I texted him again that he should see a doctor immediately and drink fluids.
He then explained to me that he has a thing for Asians. It was very awkward after that.
ramengirl10
3. Creepy Moments
I bartend and have had many creepy comments over the years. My two most memorable:
First, a customer who was probably near my father's age asked how much I weighed. Normally, I'm pretty quick with these things, but this caught me off guard, so instead of a normal sassy answer, I was just slack-jawed and told him it was probably about 140 lbs.
He went on about how he usually only likes girls who are under 120 lbs., but he still found me attractive (not worded that nicely). Hard pass on that.
Second, a customer at the bar was making a generic conversation and then went down a dark path. He told me he was a geneticist and that I should have his children because I was an ideal mate.
He got more and more aggressive, inquiring as to my reproductive plans and demanding I make up my mind. He was physically removed from the premises and told not to come back.
[deleted]
4. Plan Revelation
My downstairs roommate and I were friendly but never hung out. He was rarely at home because he was in the military, like the equivalent of a Marine or a super fit guy.
We both got drunk one night. Not together and not with intentions to hang together--I think it might have been during our city's festival, actually, when everyone gets wasted.
Anyway, the night ended with me freaking out upstairs in the corner of my room while he was stumbling around the shared laundry room and knocking on the weak wooden door to my part of the house while repeatedly yelling, "Come down here! I won't take advantage of you! I promise, just come down here for a minute! I'm not going to take advantage of you!"
centraliac
5. Grocery Creep
I was in a CVS one time, picking up some tampons and casually grabbing any other essentials.
As I was strolling through the candy aisle, a man in his late 50s looked at the tampons and said, "OH! You enjoy stickin' things in ya?"
I pretended I didn't hear him, so he just repeated it VERY LOUDLY.
I paid and got outta there ASAP. The old dude creeped me out.
[deleted]
6. Survival Instinct
A guy friend was stroking my arm at a bar. I was drunk and didn't mind cuz it kinda felt nice, even though it seemed weird.
After some time, he got a quizzical look and said, "Wow, your skin is so soft despite the muscles underneath. You have very nice muscles, just tender enough.
If we were ever in one of those situations where we had to resort to cannibalism to survive, I'd definitely eat you first. I might not even wait until it became necessary for survival. I might just eat you first anyway."
nocturnalchatterbox
7. Insisting At Its Finest
I was IN THE MIDDLE of setting up for my final at college, and a guy who had been harassing me all semester came in, wouldn't stop talking to me, and asked for my number (all while my teacher was standing there awkwardly).
He was ignoring my wishes to be left alone and asking him to leave until I gave him my number. I finally gave him a fake one, and he asked, "Can you repeat that number to me? I usually get fake ones."
moler92
8. Just A Show Off
Went on a date with a guy who then stated he had "turned down the Olympics in MMA because of school". Not only is MMA not an Olympic sport, but he wasn't even in shape.
The date went horribly. I got to my house and promptly ignored his incessant texts until I could figure out a polite way to turn him down. The next day, he sent me the 50th text of the hour, and this one said, "This makes you my girlfriend, right?"
No. Never. Please no.
mjforever33
9. Too Much Confidence
For work, I had to live for a couple of months in a house with three guys I didn't know. They all had girlfriends back home. During one of the first nights, when we were all still getting to know each other, we stayed up late, drinking and chatting. No hint of other motives or flirtation.
Then, two went to bed, and I continued talking to the third as we were having a conversation.
I was mid-sentence when he interrupted me and said, "So I'm not going to cheat on my girlfriend. (Pause) But cuddling wouldn't be out of the question."
I was so taken aback and confused that after a brief moment of awkward silence, I just picked right back up where I was in my story.
HouPoop
10. Double Meaning Question
In my sophomore year in high school, I was walking into class, and one of the students already sitting down asked me as I was walking to my desk:
"LetMeIntoYourSoul, what would you do if you had a guy’s private part?"
I never had a real back-and-forth conversation with this guy before he asked me this.
Didn't realize that he wanted to know what I'd potentially do to his private part until he texted me days later asking me to make out.
LetMeIntoYourSoul
11. Back To You
This was a friend of mine. We were at a concert together, and some guys came over afterward. They were pretty drunk, and one in particular kept hitting on her. She tried to ignore it, but he was persistent.
Eventually, he asked her if she'd like to come back to his place, to which she explained, "I have a boyfriend. His name is Frank."
Without missing a beat, he said, "Then can I be Frank with you? Cause you're smoking!"
Didn't work, but we had a great laugh.
lyssargh
12. Rock and Him
I needed to get a form out of our Manager's desk, which he was sitting at and wouldn't move, so I went around him and was stuck between him and the wall.
Then he said, "Looks like you're stuck between a rock and me." I noped the heck out of there as fast as I could, beet red.
the_hokey_pokey
13. Guy Of Awkwardness
I went on a date with a guy I didn't have anything in common with but thought I'd give him a shot anyway. We met up at a bar, and he had already pounded two pitchers of beer but was completely sober (at least from what I could tell). We hung out and talked, and it was confirmed that I really had no interest in him. I wanted to leave, but he convinced me to go to another bar to get one last drink.
Seeing as it was only about 8 pm, I agreed to one more drink. We were sitting at the bar, and a couple was making out next to us. He looked at me and asked what I thought people in the bar would do if he and I started making out. I knew where this was going…I tried to laugh and make some joke about no one paying attention.
He then insisted that we should make out. I nervously laughed and told him that wasn't a very good idea and excused myself to the restroom.
I came back to the seat, and he had a shot waiting for me and insisted I drink it - no shot for him, just me. I declined, and he got really upset and said he was ready to go.
At that point in the evening, he had consumed 2 pitchers of beer, 4 margaritas, and 2 more pints yet displayed no sign of being intoxicated. Nonetheless, I knew there was a lot of alcohol in his system and asked if he thought it was a good idea for him to drive.
He got defensive and said he was fine - we exited the bar, and he told me to have a good night. He took off in the opposite direction - he didn't even walk me to my car! When I got home, I texted him just to make sure he was ok. His response? I only date girls I make out with on the first date.
He said a lot of awkward things that night, but that last line definitely took the cake.
ChristineNoelle
14. Scary Statement
In high school, I had been talking to this guy from one of my classes, and he had been telling me about his depression and how he prefers to be a loner and whatnot, and then all of a sudden, he told me he had dreams about shooting up the school.
So, of course, as a 14-year-old, I kept up with the conversation.
Me: Well.. You wouldn't shoot me, though, right? Because we're friends?
Him: Honestly, I'd probably shoot you first. I always take my anger out on the people I care about the most.
I avoided him at all costs after that.
honeynut-queerios
15. Cons of Being a Gullible
I have fallen for the "I'm going to kill myself. Can you come talk to me?" thing 3 times. It's ridiculous. The first guy was so committed to it that he started crying. And then put his hand down my pants.
Now, whenever a man tells me that, one of the first things I do is inform them that it's my duty to get them medical help if they are being honest. It sucks, but God damn, I'm gullible.
dapolkadots
16. Wrong Move
On my 20th birthday, a middle-aged man approached my sister and me at the bar and said he was feeling "very into sisters."
At the same time, our father was sitting beside us. The familial cringefest was the best present possible.
Jhouty
17. Grocery Haul
A guy in my class was telling me about all the stuff he recently bought from Target. He then said he got a wine opener but said it in a "seductive" way.
I awkwardly said, "A wine opener, huh?" and he went back to his "smooth" voice and said, "Yes....to open wine..." It's hard to write. You guys just had to be there.
It was hella awkward.
[deleted]
18. Self Defense Tip
I was trying to be friendly to an acquaintance who was alone all night at some event. Out of the blue, he goes, "Most people think pepper spray is the best weapon for fending off an attacker. But it's not. A knife is better. Wanna know why? Cause pepper spray has a smaller target area, a knife you can plunge in anywhere..."
He then proceeded to talk about all the ways you can stab someone who's coming at you. Useful info, sure, but the way he talked about it creeped me out..empty yet obsessive.
He asked me out not long after that, and I found ways to be busy.
rusticbumblebee
19. Sudden Weird Assurance
A friend was supposed to stay the night at my apartment in exchange for a ride home ( from a party).
Eventually, he got a little too out of it to the point where I drove his car instead. We were testing out the Oculus at the time, and he finally became too tired to sleep on the couch.
I told him he could share my bed.
His final words before passing out were, "I promise I won't...take advantage of you."
MoonlitSerenade
20. Random But Cute
One time at my church youth group, I was sitting with a boy I had a crush on. We were just chatting while sitting on the floor of the hall. He was fiddling with stuff that was on the floor.
He picked one of the items up and handed it to me, saying, "Want a screw?" Cuz it was a screw.
Once he realized what he said, he blushed and got all awkward. It was cute! I knew he wasn't intentionally crude.
I guess it was more awkward for him.
TheSickRose_1794
21. Bar Rage
There was this one time my husband and I were at a bar.
There weren't many people there, and my husband was making small talk for a moment with the guy sitting next to him. So I started making small talk with the guy sitting next to me.
We chatted for a few minutes.
Then a commercial came on the TV in front of us about snoring and I made a comment like, "Oh, this guy (points at husband) snores bad, especially around this time of year.
We should pick some of that up on the way home haha." (I know that's stupid, but again, I was making small talk and we were slightly intoxicated).
THEN this douche turns to me and says, "WHY THE FUDGE DO YOU THINK ID CARE ABOUT ANYTHING YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHO IN YOUR LIFE SNORES!"
I just laughed and turned my back to him.
katiebug0313
22. The Tattoo
I have a death moth tattooed on my shin. It just happens to look a lot like the DVD cover of Silence of the Lambs.
A guy came up to me and said, "WOW, what a coincidence! I love wearing other people's skin on my body too!"
I don't know if that was supposed to be a pick-up line, but it definitely creeped me out.
Jessporetta
23. No One Listens
Dear lord, here we go.
I was at Starbucks with some friends, and this guy (age 19) who is socially awkward joined us. Everything was fine, but the conversation was lagging a bit. So this guy suddenly pipes up, asking if any of us ever had something we lied about when we were younger. We all said yes, and he launched into this cringe story.
He tells us that when he was five (yes, five), he convinced his parents he was potty trained by dumping the poop out of his diaper and into the toilet and asking them to come look at it in the bowl.
It wasn't until later that he actually became potty trained and told his parents his trick.
The three of us at the table just tried to ignore that story had ever left his mind. One just buried her head in her hands, the other was fake texting, and I stared at the ceiling.
To this day, it's the most awkward thing I've ever been told.
avysavy
24. Different Thought
My otherwise not-creepy and not-awkward cello professor (male and old enough to be my father) said this sentence to me once:
"I don't know what it's like to be inside you."
I knew he meant he didn't know what physical sensations I feel when I play the cello, but I suddenly took an extreme interest in the drywall anyway.
anongoddammit
25. Offensive Questions
I was 15 years old, working in the cafeteria of a car parts factory. One day, an older (45-50) truck driver asked me if I'd hold it against him, and he told me I had a great body. Mortified, I told him, “Well, yeah!” And the conversation went:
Him: What? Why??
Me: Because. I'm fifteen, man.
Him: What? Really? Well, do you need a bodyguard?
Me: Nope! [While trying to run away]
Him: What about if I adopted you?
Me: I have two very loving parents, thank you no.
And noped out of there as fast as I could.
Desopilar
26. The Roommate
Creepy roommate (we'll call him Justin) sneaks downstairs. I'm on my phone on the couch. Comes up behind me and whispers, "boo," RIGHT into my ear and scares the hell out of me.
Me: Justin, what the hell? You scared the heck out of me!
Justin: [in super weird flirty voice] Aww, you think I'm scary?
Me: No....?
Justin: Aww... okay, good… [giggles]
It doesn't sound that creepy, but the voice man and how close he was...kid is weird.
heartfillian
27. Wrong Expectations
This was within the last week and still makes me feel awkward. There was a man I sorta dated before I met my husband (around 8 years ago).
I really wasn't into him, but he was way into me, and he got really intense way too fast. Long story short, I had to crush his heart like a bug. Fast forward to the present time.
I still feel guilty for what I did to him and tell myself I need to apologize when the time presents itself.
Well, it presented itself, and right after I apologized, he hugged me and said, "I am still so in love with you. Please let this mean you are leaving your husband for me!" Ummm, can anyone say awkward?
crazymissyd
28. Creepy Opinions
This really old guy who is a regular at the gym I go to approached me while I was using some weights. He was trying to tell me about other exercises I could do to strengthen my lower back, which I listened to politely since I figured he was a retired vet (this gym is on an army base where lots of soldiers and vets come to work out).
After a little bit, he moved on with his workout, and I went into the other area to use one of the bikes. About 15 minutes later, he came up to me while I was still on the bike happily pedaling, and asked, "Do you know what they should do to men who take advantage of women?"
I was too shocked to really say much, and at this point, I was just trying to get off the bike and alert my sister, who was with me. But he continues and, in disturbing detail, describes how those people should have their private parts nailed to a board and other medieval-like punishments.
My sister noticed my situation and came over to tell him that we had to leave, only to be told the exact same thing by the old guy. Adequately freaked out, we bade him a hurried goodbye and walked out.
The weird thing is that everyone else at the gym seems to love him.
20th_Century_Flute
29. Dumb To Ladies
There's an autistic guy I know who means well but says the dumbest crap to ladies. Luckily, his girlfriend has a sense of humor about it.
I think the first weird thing he said to me was during a tenor sectional (sometimes I sing soprano, sometimes alto, and other times tenor, depending on where I'm needed most). I was the only lady in the room. The guys get kinda rowdy in those situations, but I usually enjoy them.
Then, we were rehearsing a part where we had to say the syllable "ta" repeatedly. Our conductor gave us a note about having bigger "tatas,” and the guy in question said, "Energirl won't have any trouble with that. She has enough to share with the rest of us." Suddenly, every pair of eyes in the room was on me (though most guys looked away as soon as they were conscious of it).
I wanted to die!
Energirl
30. Time To Walk Away
I was at a gym near my boyfriend's house that I don't usually work out at, and a guy came up to me when I was getting a drink at the water fountain.
He introduces himself and starts going on about how he has never seen me there before, when I usually work out, etc., so I just nip it in the bud and say, "Oh yeah, I only come here when I visit my boyfriend."
He then responds with, "Oh, I see you working hard. You must be trying to work off that shame from last night." It was such a strange thing to say that I just kind of cringed and walked away
Bumblewumble85
31. Unrelated to Work
I'm a lesbian. In the last job I had, I worked in a small office - just me, Big Boss, and Jerkward. He is called that for a reason... We didn't get along, to put it kindly. His chronic lying was the mildest aspect of his unlikeability.
One day, jerkward told me how great it was that I was gay because he could "donate sperm" to my wife and me, and we could have his kids, and he could help raise them.
The same guy that would come into work and sit on the phone arguing with CPS and his mom about how he shouldn't have to pay so much for the kids he wasn't raising, and then try to talk about how crap-faced he got every weekend and how many fights he won (sure, fat pasty ginger manchild) and how many women he wooed.
Big Boss told him to never talk to me again unless it was about work.
patchy_doll
32. Bad Employee
I was at a bar with my friends, and the bartender, an overweight guy in his 40s, said to me, "If you take off your clothes and run around, I'll give you a free drink!" It was followed by awkward, uncomfortable laughter because I didn't know what to say to that.
Like, dude, is that really how you're supposed to treat your customers? I was going to buy more drinks for myself, but I just closed my tab so I wouldn't have to talk to him again.
billclintonsbunghole
33. In Denial
"Even if I could take you home tonight, I wouldn't."
Poor guy had a crush on me for a while and was just drunk enough to start rambling about it.
He meant he liked me more than a one-night deal, but a friend heard this particular gem and just died laughing. He has never let him live it down since.
BridgetteBane
34. His Monologue
I was at this Brazilian bar, and I can pass for being Brazilian, but I'm English.
This guy came up to me as soon as he walked into the place and gave me the longest monologue about how he knew when he woke up this morning he was gonna find himself a beautiful, exotic Brazilian woman.
I let him say everything then told him I was English.
Cringe
Dolente
35. Weird Habit
I work at a pub, and a gentleman was in with his wife and another couple. He was wearing a polo shirt that had some sort of physical therapy logo on it. It was fairly quiet, and so I was chatting to them.
He then turned to me, looked intently at my hands (which were lying on the bar), and said, 'You have lovely hands, may I?' and then proceeded to stroke my hands and forearms.
He says that I am very tense and I need to relax - as it seems he is a physical therapist, I'm not particularly worried, but then he starts moving up my arms and massaging my head, all the while talking about how I need to relax and stuff.
He does this for a while and then says, “Hmmm, you're very receptive.' so I say 'To what?' He responded with 'Justice,' so in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit, I joked and said, 'Well, I am studying to be a solicitor'.
He then proceeded to berate me about how that wasn't my calling in life and that I was far too good. Once he left, I turned to the landlord and said, 'Pretty sure I was either faith healed or something else.”
The landlord told me that the guy is no longer allowed in the pub with female staff.
skunky_x
36. Unusual Topics
When I asked a guy I was chatting with from a dating site what kind of things he likes to do, he said, " I wear shorts in the winter," then later on in the conversation, he brought it up again and stated that he wears shorts all year long.
He was super proud of it for some reason. I didn't end up dating him.
Another guy I met on online dating ended up meeting up with me; he had an in-depth conversation with me about what sword would be best to cut through someone's neck, and then told me about his sword collection and asked if I wanted to come over and see it.
Turns out he was just really nervous and says weird things when he is nervous. That guy is my wonderful husband now. And he still says really messed up things from time to time, but I find it endearing now.
tankgirl85
37. Worst Statement
Dude on the first date
Dude: I could take advantage of you right now.
Me: Ummmm... Ok?
Dude: You're so small compared to me.
Me: Wow... Ok well, thanks, but no thanks.
Who says that to someone on a first date? We were at a coffee shop watching a local band play.
I walked up to the counter and asked the guy behind the counter if he could walk me to my car really quickly because the guy I was with was seriously contemplating doing something bat at me.
My car was right outside the door, but still. Who freaking says that?? And with a dead serious face... I noped out there immediately.
Isaidstuffaboutstuff
38. Unsolicited Words
While watching a World Series game at a local bar with one of my coworkers, a regular who I've talked to before: "I'm a gentleman but would love to be a home-wrecker for you pretty lady."
The worst thing is that my coworker was recently married, and his wife was homesick.
Yeah....didn't pursue that guy at all.
dontmakemepoop
39. Job Red Flag
When I worked at a chain, the guy who owned this particular franchise would post up with his laptop half the day most days, hang out inside the store, and hit on some of the women who worked there. Being that he wasn't a bad-looking older man who is also fit and runs a Kung Fu dojo and owns the damn franchise, he got what he wanted most of the time.
He would throw random compliments at me that I would brush off and immediately go look extremely busy in the back, but then he started putting his hands on my waist to say hello, among other creepy things all these advances I denied politely for fear of losing my job.
But then, one day, I was cleaning tables, and that day was the day I decided to wear a little eyeliner. I rarely wear any makeup at all, and he thinks it's okay to grab me by my cheeks, holding my face to look at his with his stupid kung fu grip and say, "Wow! I thought you were wearing contacts, and you have the most beautiful eyes."
Of course, I jerked back and briskly walked to the bathroom the second his grip was loose, which was only due to a young man asking what the heck he was doing!
Thank you, random stranger!
Von_Meowstien
40. Fast Pacing
We went on two dates, I didn't want to continue because we had nothing in common. Just as I was about to say this, he said, "My mom wants to know if you will join us for Christmas."
His family was 6000km away.
Two dates. Not even as much as a kiss.
Newfoundlander89
41. Denied Invitation
"Wanna take some time off and come with me on my boat to spend some relaxing time together?"
This was said to me while I was on the clock at work.
Guess what? It was said by an 80-year-old man who I was helping find a shirt in the clearance section.
The worst part is I was 16.
MrsMysterious
42. The Dream
"My mom had a dream about my future wife. She had blond hair, the most beautiful green eyes and she was just a little bit taller than me. She described you exactly!" sparkly eyes
Been dating for about two weeks. I am neither blonde (brunette) nor green-eyed (blue eyes).
I was just a tad taller than him. He freaked out on me when I broke up with him as he thought I was "the one."
DODGED A BULLET.
[deleted]
43. Too Nice
There's this guy who's really well-known at my college. When I was a freshman, and he was a senior, we met and added each other on Facebook. That was my first mistake.
We develop a weird friendship, I'm not as invested as he is, and he started confiding in me about all of his problems and things I didn't know how to respond to. He asks me out to coffee, and I say I'm busy or sick. I don't remember. He asks me out every week for three terms before he graduates.
During this time, he also added my roommate on Facebook and messaged her, asking her to take me to this restaurant on campus so he could "casually run into me."
After he graduated, I thought he'd move on from me. Nope. While we were talking about law schools one day, he told me I should look at the school he is currently at. I politely tell him I'm not interested because I want to be where I have family nearby in case something happens.
He goes off on how I don't know what I want or what's good for me and how he could, and I quote: "Take care of [me] if something happens."
He has messaged my friends and family as well, saying he was concerned about me because of my self-deprecating sense of humor. He messaged my sister about how concerned he was when I "disappeared from Facebook" when I blocked him. Besides this, he's asked me about guys I like, dates I've been on, who I hang out with, etc.
All of this happened because I was nice to the wrong person.
AND OH MY GOD, HE REALIZED THAT I DID NOT DEACTIVATE MY FB AND I BLOCKED HIM AND MESSAGED MY SISTER ABOUT IT. WHAT THE WHY?!
weaverismyname
44. Trying Too Much
A guy started an awkward, drawn-out conversation on the bus regarding Pokemon because of my keychain. He was just naming Pokemon, and it felt like he was trying to gauge my knowledge of Pokemon - naming all the bat or horse Pokemon, for example - which felt weird and not really friendly...?
He wasn't really facing me while talking to me either because he sat in a row in front of me, which also increased the discomfort level.
I don't think he wasn't able to figure out a way to properly close out the conversation and gave me his deviantart username as he got off the bus.
Please don't give me your deviantart as contact information.
PancakeBear
45. Out Of Luck
Meeting a guy I met online after talking on the phone for a few days. He swings by to pick me up. I hop in his car, and he starts driving away. I look over and see, now that he has a tank top on (sleeves in all his pics), a little girl's face tattooed on his shoulder.
No biggie, he never mentioned a kid, so I say oh, nice tattoo, who is that? His response was, "It's my baby girl, and if you don't like the fact I have a kid, you can get the hell out of my car." That one didn't last long, but I cherish my life, so I played nice until he dropped me off at home.
Uhm, and another one. This one is really specific, so I hope he doesn't see it. Different guy. I'm at work. He wants to play 20 questions over text to get to know me.
Probably question #3 from him was something along the lines of "If I turned into an animal and the only way to get me back to being human was to make out with me, which animal would be least likely to destroy your soul".
Something like that. Idk. I was hoping he was joking, so I gave a bs answer.
Anyway. That was neat.
not_a_throwaway24