Having a new friend is definitely an awesome thing. There are several circumstances in which we could acquire a new friend, including being introduced to your new roommate.
Imagine yourself looking forward to starting a new job in a city or beginning college at a new university and thinking you’ll meet good people. However, when you visit your apartment, you’re met with a mess and the worst smell of all. And there goes your new roommate.
1. Dirty Slob
She was disgusting and a total slob and wouldn't let me clean her side of the room. It was always super cluttered with crap everywhere.
Our room had a gross smell all the time because of her, so I finally broke down and decided to let her be mad at me and cleaned everything.
I found cups, like 5 or 6, of partially drunk spoiled, rotten, curdled chocolate milk...plates of partially eaten moldy food...it was horrible. She got so pissed off that I cleaned it that she ended up moving in with another girl. I wasn't upset about it.
B_Nuts
2. Laziest Among The Lazys
I was so fed up with her leftover food rotting in the fridge, which was overloaded all the time, that I found rotten tomatoes and open bags of Doritos between the sheets once.
In the middle of the night, she'd open up new bags of chips to eat them, then leave them on the sides of the bed frame for later.
She's a bigger girl, and she put socks on the door handle, so I wouldn't enter the room. One night, she kicked me out at 11 PM.
Of course, I angrily entered the room thirty minutes later, and she was just lying on the bed wrapped in her sheets like a manatee, eating her bed Doritos and watching reruns of The OC on her tablet.
Oh, she’s the reason why my goldfish passed, the first week of move-in when she knocked the bowl over with her suitcases, didn't fill his tank back up with water, and left him on the floor. YOU'RE A MONSTER MELISSA!!!
i_hate_the_eagles
3. Witness of Change
I was in a small triple freshman year. Early on, my roommate was extremely studious and would accept nothing lower than an A on everything.
He would beat himself up if it wasn't good enough, and we would try to get him to relax a bit. In the second half of freshman year, he buys a new computer and WoW.
Refused to go to class, played WoW nonstop all night, and would sleep through the whole day. It was disrupting the other roommates and me.
He eventually ended up pretty much dropping out of school. I've never seen such a change around. He has gotten back on track and has been doing pretty well for himself.
petrovich16
4. Shameless Acts
One of my freshman roommates was a self-professed kleptomaniac. She got a huge thrill from stealing clothes from department stores.
In the first week or so of school, she went through her closet and showed us all of the clothing she had stolen. Plus, she knew how much each item cost and how she'd swiped it. Thousands of dollars worth of nice clothing.
She had so much that half of it still had tags on, and she never wore it, but she took it because she knew she could. Usually, this theft involved carrying a really big purse, taking way too many items into a dressing room, and then emerging with one item in the purse, one to buy, and the rest to put back.
Then, if an alarm went off, they would assume it was just the item she had purchased and let her leave. Half the time, she returned the item she paid for soon after, too.
It got to the point where girls in the dorm would go to the mall with her, and they'd all pick out clothes they liked. She'd go back on her own later and steal them for them.
It was crazy. And to my knowledge, she's still doing this and hasn't been caught. She never seemed to steal from anywhere other than department stores, and none of my stuff ever went missing. Just a person of questionable morals.
TheWishingStar
5. Too Much Noise
My freshman roommate was a guy who brought giant speakers with him on move-in day. For the rest of the year, he'd play deafening trap music all day and in the early mornings.
My room was at the end of the hall, and it was about 50-60 meters away from the entrance to the hall. I could hear it from outside the hall entrance.
I thought it was really strange how this music was acceptable, but someone playing an acoustic guitar in their rooms with the door shut in the middle of the day wasn't acceptable and was "against the rules."
The RA wrote up all the acoustic guitar players, even though I have never once heard the music from their rooms. That was strange.
smegma_toast
6. Good But Nasty
I lived in the dorms my first two years and then got my own place after that. My first roommate was a guy I knew from high school a year younger than me.
We played as kids in elementary school, played football together in high school, and had some of the same friends. He went to a junior college his first year and then transferred to our university. No big deal, right?
By the time he moved out, footprint stains and boogers were on the wall. From a year. Boogers were a year old. I had to sand it down and repaint it.
He ruined my pots and pans by overcooking everything and using a fork to stir. I had to buy all the new stuff. He started dipping and would leave the dip cups in his room for weeks at a time.
The stench was unbearable. I swear one time we were cleaning up after a party and we picked up one of the cups and it had calcified into a grey mass that you could tap on the ground and still stay intact.
This jerk was 20 years old. He dated the hottest girl in our high school for almost 4 years (and they broke up and got back together in college!) and I have no idea how. He was a really good dude and would have your back for anything, but he was nasty.
cherrybombstation
7. Loud and Proud
I had a roommate who had a sibling and lived in a boarding school for several years, so I thought, "Oh good, then she should be used to this whole 'roommate' thing, especially since she's a junior," but nope.
She was the hog in the bathroom for an hour, staying up late watching stuff without headphones, blasting music so loud during the day you can't hear yourself think.
And burning stinky incense when I was not there even though we weren't allowed to have incense and there was no ventilation in our room, so the fumes would build up and give me a headache.
I understand if you've never shared a room. It's your freshman year that you'd have some trouble getting used to the idea of cleaning up after yourself and not hogging the bathroom.
Still, I don't get how people can be so inconsiderate or unaware that it apparently doesn't occur to them that making as much noise as possible isn't cool.
How sheltered do you have to be to think not using headphones at 2 am when your roommate is trying to sleep isn't a problem?
OneGoodRib
8. The Attention Seeker
She was sweet as a peach to your face, but honest to god, couldn't stand NOT being the center of attention. She lied about insomnia to her teachers because she stayed up late playing video games, laughing loudly, and calling her friends.
Started "seeing things " the more time I spent with my boyfriend and not with her, and I tried to, against campus policy, rewrite our "roommate contract" with our sketchy RA.
Well, so that she could claim I was breaking our agreement and get me kicked out since I was no longer paying her any attention.
Sondst
9. The Fake One
She was LOVELY at first, had a cute little sister, and we hung out a lot. We didn't have a lot in common, though, and we had very clashing schedules, so I assumed she'd be like any normal person and accepted that we could only really hand out on weekends.
She was not a normal person. Stuff went missing from the shared kitchen. Not just my stuff, mind you. She became super passive-aggressive, started binge drinking, and blamed me for not being there to stop her.
I dismissed it, and more stuff vanished, this time from bedrooms. My lock was broken, too.
She tried to blame me and get me kicked out.
Luckily, we had a fire drill during which she left the door open, and a whole load of stolen goods were found - wallets, spoons, underwear.
You name it, she stole it. She was there for less than two weeks and had to pay rent for the whole year for breaking the contract.
onlycatscare
10. Rot One Out
When I first moved in, I was sharing the apartment with three other people. We will call them Bob, Steve, and slagathor. We each had our rooms, with a bathroom on each side of the apartment for two rooms to share. Bob and Steve were cool.
I still keep in touch with them, but Slagathor was the stereotypical horrible roommate. He would walk in at 3 am when we all had class the next morning, turn on his stereo, pull out his guitar, and play the baseline over...and over.
And over, restarting every time he messed up in any way.
Aside from his crappy guitar-playing abilities, he would never buy food but eat literally everything the rest of us brought in.
At one point, Bob, Steve, and I went grocery shopping together and filled our kitchen up with food right before we went on a weekend trip.
When we got back, the entire kitchen was empty. Close to $300 in food is gone. Anytime he was called out on it, he would do that, "huh? Oh no, that wasn't me," Jerk.
On top of all that, he was incredibly disgusting. The guy would take a shower once a week, and when he did, he would brush his hair, pull the hair out of the brush, and slap it on the shower wall.
Bob and I started letting Steve use our bathroom since the one he had to share was so horrible. Slagathor took this as a hint that it was okay if he started using it, too.
This happened twice before all three of us sat him down and told him that if he ever stepped in the bathroom again, we would collectively kick him out of the bathroom.
I could go on for hours about how awful Slagathor was, but eventually, Bob, Steve, and I went on an aggressive campaign of subtly messing with him so much that he moved out.
All little things like a missing button on a shirt, or shoelaces being extremely loose or tight so he couldn't just slip his shoes on, a bicycle chain mysteriously rusting over in just a few days.
When he finally moved out, we threw a party, which he attended. He was not very happy when he found out why we were having the party.
Mogetfog
11. Selfish Frog
She got the swine flu and was laid up in bed for days, during which she would ask me to get her food from the dining hall, and I would. Obviously, I would. She was sick, and I'm not a jerk.
Inevitably, I caught it from her. It hit me hard after she had already recovered and had her boyfriend visiting. It was no problem for me.
However, I asked her if she could please get me anything to eat because I was starving, and she told me to get it myself because "I really think you could use the fresh air."
Screw you, Hilary, you knew goddamn well I couldn't get out of bed. You just didn't want to take five minutes out of your boyfriend's time to help me live through the flu you gave me.
I ended up having to get my parents to take me home until I recovered.
CeruleanTresses
12. The Trashcan Nightmare
Had a roommate come back to our dorm room from one of the many rush week frat parties he attended, wasted out of his mind. He stripped down to his stained white briefs and passed out on his bed.
In the middle of the night, I woke up to find him standing, totally naked, inches from my bed, his back literally right in my face. He proceeded to fart in my face and then started pissing in the trash can next to my bed.
After he was done pissing in the trash can and all over the floor, he promptly went back to his bed and passed out on his bed, face up, with no covers.
I got up, got a bottle of Febreeze, and sprayed the hell out of my trash can and the rug. I then realized why he pissed in my trash can.
It's because he had puked in his. So, I sprayed his trash can, too.
[deleted]
13. Out All Day
They actually crammed 3 of us into a dorm room. That was bad enough because it was freaking cramped. One of the guys in there seemed fine when I first met him.
Turns out all he did was stay out partying really late every night. Then he'd sleep in. Every. Single. Day.
We never even got a chance to talk to this guy because he'd come back after we'd gone to sleep, and he would never even wake up until we were long gone attending classes for the day.
Even then, I wouldn't have cared much, except I don't think the kid ever took a shower. He made our whole dorm room smell like some kind of sour, tangy B.O. It was awful. If I remember right, that crap went on un.
catch10110
14. Absurd Decisions
We had a suite of six guys. One of these guys, Ron, was a weird jerk who did all sorts of hysterical things. He was barefoot wherever he went (not too bad, but we got concerned when it started snowing).
Another and my suitemate came home one day and opened the door, and there were something like five 20-gallon drums filled with dirt and dying plants.
There were bugs everywhere for weeks. When we asked Ron, "What the heck?" He responded by exclaiming, "Look, guys! Can you believe the farm was giving these away for free??"
Another time, he put a plastic bowl in the microwave for about 20 minutes until the thing vaporized and released poison smoke. Another time, he made his tea so hot that it spilled and melted the carpet. Also, he fermented apple wine under his bed. That was actually pretty cool, but it stinks.
Zephix321
15. The Red Girl
The girl had no idea how to handle her time of the month properly. Instead of walking the ten or so feet to the bathroom, she'd fill up our bedroom trash with used tampons and pads.
Once a month, our room would smell horrible because of this. Being unable to handle confrontation, I let it slide. But forever.
Until one day, I found a huge, long, twisted-up roll of paper towel covered in blood just sitting on the floor in the corner of our room.
[deleted]
16. The DIY Monster
He didn't bring any furniture except a mattress, so over time, he started building a chair, desk, nightstand, etc., out of cases of empty bottles.
Okay. We're 19, it's not that bad. After a while, his furniture really, really stunk.
It had this awful, musty, moldy scent emanating from the boxes, so, being adults, I asked him what was up.
Turns out he didn't like to get up to go to the bathroom, so he was just pissing in all these empty bottles he had. Then, he'd put them back in the box, and when it was full, he built furniture. That's how he lived for a year.
jesusyouguys
17. Obsessed Girl
My dorm roommate was obsessed with her hometown boyfriend, to the point where she would rarely make it through an entire Monday-Friday stretch without hopping on a train to go see him (and missing all of her classes for the week).
This was okay (I had the room to myself lots), but by November, she had spent every penny of her student loan and savings on train tickets. She spent several days BAWLING nonstop about how she wanted to see him and her friends from home.
My birthday happened to be that weekend, and my then-boyfriend was planning on coming to visit. I couldn't stand her incessant whining and crying.
I agreed to lend her some money (bad idea, I now know). I knew her parents would eventually cave and replenish her bank account, and the amount I gave her wasn't a big deal to me then because I was fairly good with my money.
So we went to the ATM, and I gave her $140 for her train ticket. She was incredibly grateful, thanked me about 100 times, and left a few hours later.
I had a great birthday weekend... until I got a call from my bank. Suspicious activity on my account. I assured them that I made the $140 withdrawal.
Nope, they meant the $800 that was withdrawn the following day. Turns out that witch peeked at my pin WHILE I WAS LENDING HER MY MONEY and took my bank card out of my wallet while I was showering, then proceeded to take out $800 and blow it all on drinks and crap for her bf and friends.
She was instantly caught and charged because she was dumb enough to use the card at the train station in her hometown. I got the $800 back but never returned the money I had lent her.
It includes several books, movies, and articles about the clothing she had of mine.
My dorm kicked her out, and the one upside was that I got to stay in the double room as a single for the rest of the year.
repellomuggletum21
18. Wrong Introduction
My roommate freshman year was an exchange student straight outta Shanghai. His name was Zihil, or something, but if you're anything past one semester into college, you know they have their own 'English' names.
For whatever reason, he chose the name Jose. He didn't speak much English, either. He definitely understood more than he could speak, but we got along marvelously.
One night, I was out showing him the American pastime of drinking games. I ask him, “Yo Jose, You have had alcohol before, right? 'Cause you know, I didn't want to get in trouble if he died of alcohol poisoning.”
He says yes, but looking back, it was definitely a no.
So, about two hours pass, and this kid is slugging beer. Of course, everyone wants to teach them everything Americans do.
By this two-hour mark, he must have beer-bonged three beers, shot-gunned two, and casually drank another two. He starts feeling sick. I can see it in his eyes.
He grabs his stuff, and we take off back to our dorm room. Halfway there, he starts stumbling and falling. In the hallway of our dorm, he heads over to the trashcan and just starts puking his brains out.
I get him into the room, get him some water, and make sure he doesn't choke on his puke. In the morning, he starts freaking out because he can't find his phone.
He turns on the Find My iPhone thing, and the trash can he puked in the night before starts pinging. We had to search through this filled trashcan of puke and garbage to find his phone about halfway down.
BugsSuck
19. Necklace Case
I had two roommates: one was new (we'll call her roommate A), and one I had been rooming with for a while (we'll call her roommate B).
One night, I went to a party with my boyfriend, spent the night at his place, and came back the next day. Roommate B asked me if I'd seen her "gold necklace." Nope.
Later that night, Roommate B slams her closet closed, uses the lock (which she never did), and walks outside the room to make a call. I hear her saying, "We're not friends.
I wouldn't let her borrow anything."
When she comes back in, I confront her. She says she "found" the necklace in her drawer but knows she didn't put it there and knows I'm lying about "borrowing" it. WTF?
She expounds upon this further by stating she has a "witness" who saw me wearing her necklace at the party last night.
I go to my closet, pull out MY gold necklace, and show it to her. There is no way she believes me, though. Her belief is that I'm a thief, or at the very least a liar, and although what she's saying makes no sense in light of the new evidence, she's gonna stick to it.
So, she requests to move out. I'm sure she spread bad rumors about me with the housing people in the process and among our mutual acquaintances since she couldn't keep her big mouth shut.
However, before she moved out, she and I had to go on a school-sponsored overnight trip with a few dozen other people. About a week after we got back, we were at the same party, and I heard her tell this story:
"When we got back from the trip, my socks were missing! I asked Roommate A about them, but she said she hadn't seen them. I turn around, and there they are, in the bottom of her closet!"
Roommate B never apologized to me - even though she now knew who had taken her stuff and moved out shortly thereafter. I have no idea why she assumed I, the roommate she'd had since day 1 with no problems, had taken her stuff when Roommate A was the new person, except that she truly was a jerk.
no_talent_ass_clown
20. Awful Chef
I lived in an apartment-style dorm with a kitchen, living room, and two double bedrooms. One of the guys in the other bedroom fancied himself a chef, so he would cook all the time in the apartment.
He had this habit of hanging a plastic shopping bag from the oven door handle and just tossing cut scraps, egg shells, etc., into that bag.
The problem is, he never actually threw that bag away. I was never around while he was cooking, so I didn't pay much attention to that bag or realize it was always the same bag.
After a couple of weeks, we started to notice a foul smell and the presence of fruit flies in the apartment. I was deep cleaning the kitchen, and I brushed up against that bag, and no less than a hundred fruit flies burst from inside it. Needless to say, I freaked the hell out.
A visit from the RA and the maintenance team was required to spray, and he was required to clean up after every meal and take the trash out twice a week, on penalty of being kicked out of the dorms.
[deleted]
21. Black Smoke
Oh, she was precious. On the first day of moving in, she arrived first and set up her belongings, which took over half the already tiny dorm room.
She would constantly shave her legs In our shared sink and not clean it up. But the moment that made every fiber of my being loathe her was the easy Mac incident. For the sake of this story, let's call her Kiki.
It was a Sunday afternoon, and I was in bed reading, and she was at her desk. She gets up and goes to her cabinet to get out a thing of Easy Mac. She puts it in the microwave and sits back at her desk.
Within seconds, I started to smell something burning, and I saw the microwave billowing with what looked like a miniature mushroom cloud of Black smoke filling up the inside. Kiki is oblivious, so I have to yell for her to stop the microwave.
She gets up and immediately just opens the microwave door, and the black smoke escapes, filling our entire dorm with this putrid black smoke, sending the fire alarms off and bringing about 15 people banging on the door.
After the smoke clears and the situation settles, I start getting fans out and opening windows to clear out the smell of burnt noodles and plastic. I turned to Kiki, and I asked what happened and how she made it burn so fast, and she stated that she had no clue.
So I asked if she put water in it, and she turned to me and started laughing heinously and said, "Oh my god, I forgot! That is so funny."
Maybe not truly horrifying, but it was awful, and she was the worst.
morgul_rat
22. Absolute Red Flag
I went to boarding school, so I'm going to tell you all my horrible junior roommate story since my junior year of high school was my first year living in a dorm.
During our first couple of weeks, everyone made tons of new friends. No one seemed to like my roommate very much, so she clung to me and my friends. She got upset with my friends when she saw them talking to boys I was interested in.
She ate most of my food without asking. She didn't have a cell phone (this was 2006), so she borrowed mine sometimes. On more than one occasion, she used it to lights out and wake me up because she was singing loudly over the phone to her boyfriend.
She would hit snooze on her alarm clock until she was late for class (according to dorm staff, anyway - I was out the door to get breakfast before she woke up every morning).
Eventually, she was put on in-dorm restriction because she was late to class so often, which meant instead of asking me to ask my friends for rides into town, she sat in our room all day and played on my computer.
She used my tampons and then complained because I wouldn't buy her light tampons. She was not invited back to the school for her senior year. Not that it would have affected me either way because my best friend and I requested to live together.
redditisforporn1
23. Clueless About Hygiene
My roommate was 7'1 340 pounds. The kid didn't understand personal hygiene and would shower maybe every 2-3 days. It was horrible.
My room would smell like dirty diapers. It got so bad that I couldn't have a company anymore. It was so embarrassing to have some people come over.
One day at basketball practice, he was being roasted for always smelling like crap and for wearing deodorant. To which he replied, stunned, "All of you guys wear deodorant?" Yeah, screw you, Max
subro9
24. Clumsy Joe
I didn't go to college, but when I was 19, I lived in a small rental house with three other dudes, and there were shenanigans.
The worst was Joe. He came home blackout drunk once and broke the bathroom. He broke a mirror, then fell onto the toilet, and then into the shower.
Man, it bent the rod in half, and somehow pushed the toilet off of the mount, causing a huge wave of water to spill in the basement. He literally broke the whole bathroom.
That same day, he cooked a pizza, and a bunch of cheese and pepperoni fell to the bottom of the oven and burned, making the whole house smell like burnt pepperoni.
Joe sucked as a roommate.
Shaw-Deez
25. Too Disturbing
My freshman year roommate had this god-awful alarm clock that had wheels and would roll off the desk and around the room, banging into things and making this astoundingly loud blaring sound until you turned it off.
He had to get up earlier than me three or so days a week, and he would also just let the damn thing careen around the room for a few minutes every morning while he willed himself out of bed.
This was also after he'd stay up until around 3 or 4 AM most nights playing some video game that had a team chat, so I was forced to listen to him muttering, "Ok, I'm sending in my division of space marines."
It was while I tried to sleep that I also knew that I would be awoken by R2D2 and go haywire in a few hours. I had a talk with him pretty soon after all this started.
hankhillforprez
26. Another Roommate
I had a roommate and two suitemates during my freshman year. My roommate was chill as heck and a great girl, but our suitemates were another story. One of them was a typical snobby rich girl. The other was just flat-out crazy.
There were a lot of early red flags, but the number one Craziest Thing She Ever Did was smuggle in a hamster over spring break.
Our room had started smelling weird, and the aforementioned snob roommate called it a "house meeting," in which she tried to force me and my roommate to agree to a lot of stupid, inconsequential rules.
We put our collective foot down for when she told us we had to close and lock our front door at all times, even if we were just one room away - this seemed reasonable.
Still, our building had fewer than fifty people in it, and we were all close friends by this point in the year, so this really wasn't necessary and would just be an annoyance.
After some stalling and fake reasons, the crazy roommate admitted it was because she had an illegal hamster to "help with [her] stress."
I said an illegal hamster would probably just add to her stress, and she got mad at me. I couldn't even believe her until she lifted her bed skirt and had, like, an entire hamster enclosure under her bed.
We kept her secret, but only because we were worried that if her hamster was confiscated, the atmosphere of our room would go from extreme passive aggression to being an all-out war zone.
thewintersgo
27. Room Bonfire
So, randomly assigned to this kid. Basically, he'd do small weird crap, but whatever, people have their qualities. But then… One morning, I was asleep, waking up to the sensation of my leg burning.
This freaking kid lit my leg hair on fire. Now, I like to think of myself as a calm person, but if you light my leg hair on fire, I'm gonna throw fisticuffs.
We duke it out for 5-10 minutes, and there's name-calling, some blood, et cetera. I decided it would be best to change rooms, but I can't until the end of the semester.
So, from late September to early December, I had to sit 10 feet away from this weird kid who lit my leg on fire. I never got an explanation for why he did it.
czulu
28. Stinky Species
He had some sort of social issue, but we never figured out what exactly it was. I was fine putting up with his general weirdness, including what I'm pretty sure were attempts to communicate with aliens.
His use of a series of alarms starting at 4:30 AM in order to get up at eight and often spending those hours sitting on his bed staring at me (and his subsequent refusal to stop) was manageable. The real issue with his condition is that it made him extremely self-conscious.
He would rarely change his clothes, and he would never shower. His feet were the foulest I've ever smelled, but thankfully, the fact that he wore shoes nearly 24/7 made it so we only had to deal with his general body stench most of the time.
The worst part, though, was when it was time to select housing for next year. It was the night before it was due, and he hadn't mentioned it.
I was talking to another friend about how one of my prospective roommates ditched us, and we were short a man, and he offered to join us out of nowhere.
I was doomed to spend an entire second year with the guy or be a jerk and spend half a year with him hating me. I decided to transfer.
Muffinizer1
29. The Horrible Jane
It was an apartment-style dorm with a living room/kitchenette, bedroom, and bathroom. I thought it would be great even having to share. How wrong I was. I shall call her Jane. At first, Jane seemed pleasant enough as we compared schedules, etc.
I explained that I worked early mornings before classes and had to get up at 3 am Monday-Friday, so could she please keep things quiet after 8 pm Sunday-Thursday? She said fine and asked if it was okay that her boyfriend could sometimes visit, and I said sure.
Well, it turned out that "boyfriend sometimes visiting" was code for "at least twice a month ibbity wakes up for work to find Jane's boyfriend sleeping in Jane's bed with her 3 feet away, with zero prior notice.
Also, if this is a Friday morning, Jane is going to pull her mattress into the living room and literally camp on the floor with her boyfriend all weekend and get pissy if ibbity walks through the room too much, i.e., at all."
Also, it turned out that when she said she would keep it down in the evenings so I could sleep, what she really meant was she would blast loud music and have loud friends over and loudly argue with her boyfriend on Skype in the evenings.
Only a person with severe hearing loss could possibly sleep in the same apartment as all the racket. Also, Jane thought the kitchenette and fridge were basically her exclusive property and got tetchy if I used them more than she thought I should.
Also, Jane was a huge drama queen who varied between flipping her lid and acting super passive-aggressive if I did something she didn't like, which was most things I did.
Also, Jane watched horrible reality shows all the time, with the volume of the shows being turned up. Also, Jane had a near-telepathic ability to know when I needed to pee and would choose that exact time to take a 45-minute shower.
The end of the year, when I got to move out and away from her, was one of the happiest days of my life. But good old Jane got in one last irritation because they billed us BOTH $25 for the damage her stupid heated wax air freshener did when it spilled on the carpet.
ibbity
30. The Zoo
I lived off-campus in a beautiful, sunny southern Californian neighborhood. The landlord I stayed with was a Christian, and only Christians could rent rooms in his house.
I couldn't have girls overnight; if they were in my room, I had to keep the door open. On top of paying rent, we had to do chores weekly and monthly.
When entering the house, the family room you walk into had just five large iguana cages with one (very large) iguana each.
He let them crawl around the house when he came home from work, and they hated pretty much everyone living there except him.
He had three dogs that he saved from being put down. When I asked how many cats he had, he said he couldn't tell me cause he'd get in trouble, but I don't think he knew himself.
His backyard had high-rise nets, and the place was a swamp of cats. You could hear them do everything during the late hours.
digoryj
31. Most Unfortunate Tenant
I was lucky enough to live in a triple. One of my roommates collected my little ponies. I walked into her at the sink with the head completely off one of the ponies, and she was "giving it a bath."
The other roommate hid her sardines in my closet. When eating them (with her hands) in our (felt suddenly smaller) dorm room, she dead seriously asked me if what she was doing was considered "civilized." I said no. The whole room smelled like a cat's breath.
I had the legit weirdest roommates. When filling out the application for a roommate, DON'T put "everything" for what type of music you like, or "doesn't matter" for what time you go to bed, etc.
They will give you the names of the people who did not match up with any other person's application.
yeahcomeon-
32. Worst Sound
He bought a boat alarm, which I had never heard of, but apparently, sailors use it. It is the most ungodly loud sound I've ever heard inside of a building.
I swear, it somehow had a subwoofer jammed inside of it, and to make matters worse, it sounded like a boat horn when it went off.
He bought it because he did the crew and had to wake up at 5 AM. So at 5 AM, every day, he snoozed until 5:30. Soon, he was kicked off of the crew team.
The hall sighed in collective relief, but he decided to "wake up" at five anyway to get his day started early. I'll never forget that boat alarm.
[deleted]
33. Leech Roommate
I had an introverted roommate who planned on making her extroverted New York debut. Her family had been her cook/maids/friends her entire life, so she could not normally clean/interact with anyone.
She didn't have any dishes and would somehow use everyone's (3 other roommates, not even including myself) dishes and not clean any of them.
She was constantly posted up in front of the other roommate's TV, even when the owner wanted to use it. I bought a 32-pack of tissue the day before she got sick, and she used up 6 of my tissue rolls in one night, blowing her nose instead of just buying a 99-cent box of tissue.
I didn't like her for all of these reasons and more, including the fact that she never actually said anything and would just stare at you. She was a pretty boring person overall.
Two of our roommates were already best friends, so they hung out together.
My other roommate and I went to a movie together, and she flipped out about how I was supposed to be her "best friend" and "show her around New York" and basically turn her into the extrovert she was always meant to be.
By the move-out time, I just had all my stuff put into storage and left her without a word.
GordonRamsayVevo
34. The Isolation
I had a roommate who never left the room, probably had an undiagnosed social disorder, and microwaved fried shrimp every morning that stunk up the room.
He left two trash bags full of trash in and around his trash can all the time because going down to the dumpster terrified him because of people.
Honestly, the most uncomfortable person to be around that I have ever met. I'm not quite sure if he ever says words to other people unless he's spoken to. Absolutely terrifying to interact with.
merlinontherun
35. Complete Nuisance
My roommate barely talked to me and had all the early classes. No issue, except after the 2nd week of sleeping through all of them, he devised the solution to leave our dorm room door wide open all night.
Why? So that his friends could...literally...come in at 7 am and smack him across the face until he woke up. Being that I slept about 4 feet from him, it'd wake me up too. Not happy.
So basically, with our dorm room being wide open all night, someone caught on and stole my PS2. I confronted him and told him this was his fault and that he better start asking his friends if they knew anything.
Well, he made up some crap argument. I put my hands on him after that. Probably shouldn't have, but I did. Whatever. It nearly got me thrown out of school until I got to tell my side of the story.
Some of his own friends came forward to confirm what a jerk he was and how his beating was justified. I got moved to a different dorm and had to pay a fine. He dropped out of college a few months afterward. Guess he couldn't find anyone to slap him in the face anymore.
mrmikepadgett
36. Mysterious Hair
Lived in an apartment with 7 others. The only blond guy in the flat used hair trimmers to give himself a haircut in the shower, promptly clogging up the drain.
We all end up in the bathroom looking at the mess, and he points the finger and says it must have been me. The worst part is the other housemates almost believed him and turned to ask me if it was my mess.
Well, not until I pointed out that I have long black hair and clearly haven't had a haircut. He has blond hair and coincidentally is the only person in the room with a fresh haircut.
Wondered if I was in a dream or something, the fact that they couldn't put 2+2 together and work it out themselves. He also did the standard 'eat everyone's food out of the fridge and leave dirty dishes everywhere so no one else could use them.'
[deleted]
37. Pile Of Stench
I went to school in a major city, and our dorms were in these big two-bedroom apartments with two kids per room. The kid that I had to bunk with was nice enough, but he had the most horrible hygiene habits.
Sam would not shower for weeks. Weeks! And he would pile all of his dirty laundry right in front of the bedroom door, like a pile of rotting corpses.
It didn't matter how many times we tried to subtly insinuate that he needed to participate in keeping the apartment (and himself) clean. Nothing would change.
After three weeks, none of us could have guests over to the apartment because the stench was so pore-clogging thick that it would choke the air out of the room.
The three of us convinced some friends down the hall to let us keep our clothes in their place, but we still needed to sleep there. Every night, we would wait until he fell asleep and then spray the apartment with Lysol until we couldn't smell him or his corpse clothes anymore.
We kept trying to get him to take care of himself and his stuff, but nothing got through to him, no matter how direct we got. Eventually, we ended up becoming passive-aggressive and just iced him out of any interactions or conversations.
He ended up moving out of the apartment about a month after that. It took two more weeks and one deep clean before the room didn't reek anymore.
beardedmachete
38. Like A Prison
Mine never left the room. He had a chair under his lofted bed that he would sit in all the time and face directly toward my bed, so I would always feel like he was watching me.
Also, he got a box of truffles one time as a gift, I think, and he put it in the mini-fridge but never ate them again, so after a while, everything that went in there smelled like them.
Once, he tried to dye his hair in the shower and stained the shower floor with black footprints from the dye. Only really tried to clean it one week later, but it didn't work, and so our shower stayed like that for the rest of the semester.
He was super passive-aggressive with other people in our hall because he was really shy and quiet and didn't like to be disturbed, which sucked because I was the opposite and was friends with everyone.
One time, although I wasn't around, I was told that some girls went into our room (the door was open) and were hiding contraceptives in my bed and in the shower and stuff. Apparently, he slammed one of them against the closet door and yelled at them to get out, then filed a complaint.
All of this stuff wouldn't be that big of a deal if we were friends, but we never talked. Oh, and he was a complete mess, too, at nearly the hoarder level. He just had piles of stuff everywhere.
leadabae
39. Dumb Ways
My freshman roommate was pretty cool. We got along fine. Didn't interact with each other much but respected the other's space. The only thing was that he rarely washed his shower towel, so it smelled really bad, like sour bad.
Now, in my sophomore year, where I had a terrible housemate. She was disgusting, which was a massive surprise to me as I thought girls were always clean.
She had a cat, so her room smelled like cat poop all the time. She also didn't really play with her cat or train it, and the cat ended up breaking my earphones.
She also threw parties, which are expected, but have some courtesy to not throw a party the day before finals. The cops got called one time when I wasn't there, and two people were fighting in the parking lot.
Apparently, some dude also broke the screen and jumped out her window, and we lived on the second floor. When we moved out, we lost our deposit and got charged 2k extra for damages.
That witch tried to get me and my roommate to pay and even threatened to sue. Luckily, my roommate took pictures of everything since he was there the entire time and called her bluff. Last I heard, she dropped out the following semester.
Swarles_Stinson
41. No One To Help
She was drunk all the time and had her boyfriend over. It's not really any of my business except when I fell ill.
I didn't realize it was happening and didn't have much money, so I decided to wait it out, thinking I was just sick.
When I got to the point where I realized I had to go to the hospital, I couldn't even barely walk.
I asked her to help me down the stairs, and she was so drunk that she just grunted and drooled. I basically crawled down the stairs to get help in the wee hours of the morning. When I returned around 10 am the next day, she asked me where I had been all night.
[deleted]
41. Roommate’s Wild Night
She went out drinking a lot, which is fine. We never had problems until one episode. The police picked her up in the next town, shoeless and running down the middle of a road. She's trashed. They take her to the police station for booking.
I guess an emergency/problem came in/happened because they left her alone in a holding cell, and all officers dealt with an unrelated problem in another part of the building.
She decides that it's a good idea to emulate the movies, tear down a ceiling tile, and crawl into the ceiling to make her escape (she was super thin and light).
She crawls into the ceiling and, by some miracle, manages to get above another room. She falls through the tiles and escapes out the back door, setting off the station alarm.
She's handcuffed during the entirety of this. MEANWHILE. The police called our dorm and woke the RA, who came to me looking for this chick. Woke me up at 3 am. I'm bleary-eyed and talking to the officer.
No, I don't know where my goddamned roommate is. SHE CALLS MY CELL PHONE from an emergency phone/post while the cops are there and tells me she's in the nearby woods. And do I have any Crisco so we can slide her cuffs off?
They went and picked her up. She dropped out shortly thereafter. I got a new roommate the next semester who was pretty awesome, and we had a great time.
peeepablepeep
42. The New Creep
Started the year with two roommates: one decent and one who would be my best friend for the rest of college.
The mundane guy left between semesters to live with another friend, which left me and a friend at the mercy of the residential services office, who could fill the space if they had a transfer request.
In early March, my roommate and I were summoned to the office to interview a potential third. Having already converted the third bed into a couch, we agreed to drag our feet if at all possible. It wasn't, and the new person moved in a few days later.
He was quiet and kept to the fairly clean ship we were running. The weird part was the staring from the corner, under the bookshelf-desk attachment (mine faced his, and there was an open space above the desktop), and at us when the last light got turned out.
He also had a habit of picking up his cordless phone and holding it against his ear without talking or ringing. We all finished the last few months amicably and without issue, but the staring was definitely weird.
My friend and I made sure to find a double the next year, and the creepy one transferred to a more prestigious school somewhere.
walrus_mach1
43. Strange Man
On the first night of being in the dorms with him, he bolted upright and stared at his computer screen for a while. I figured he was homesick because all that was on it was a picture.
He would play a flight simulator nonstop in his free time. Would fall asleep playing it. He had about three songs that he played on repeat every day, and eventually, this got up to about ten songs.
He would wear a hat on top of his hat to keep the first one dry. Or at least I think that was why. Rode his scooter to class, even in the winter. We lived on the 8th floor of our dorm, and you could hear him going up and down the stairs for six floors.
Got upset and smashed his ceramic mug on the ground, replaced it, and did the same thing again. I brought him with me to hang out with some friends at the beginning of the year, and he wouldn't stop messaging them on Facebook after that.
It was amusing when the mini-fridge we shared was set too cold, and he would chip at his orange juice with a butter knife to get chunks out.
I know there was more, but I can't remember what happened. And even though he was weird, he wasn't as creepy as my sophomore roommate, who built a sheet fort over his bed, so I never knew if he was there or not.
DrSter
44. She Got All Dirty Traits
My roommate during freshman year was the messiest person I've ever met. At one point during the year, I just stopped returning to res (except to get clothes) because it was so disgusting.
Our room had a kitchenette, and it was constantly cluttered with her things. The tiny sink was always full of her dishes, and I got so annoyed sometimes that I'd just wash them for her.
The countertop top always had food bits on it; once, she spilled milk powder all over it, and another time, I came home to it covered in dried-up salsa.
Her stuff was always all over the floor (and we had carpet floors). Our bathroom was disgusting, our sink was covered with a layer of gunk. She'd do mud masks, and there would be mud all over the entire sink.
One time, she had a nosebleed, and I came back to blood all over the bathroom floor. Once, she dyed her hair pink, and our bathroom had pink splatters everywhere. She paid for all the cleaning supplies we had in the roomy me, but she never offered to pay.
She would also take my food. I would have been fine if she had just taken a bit, but once I came back to her, I was eating out of my jar of Nutella with a spoon.
I had a bottle of unopened soy sauce in the cupboard, and she managed to finish half of it in one sitting. She also helped herself to the chocolate and chips I left on the countertop.
I ended up having to store food in my room (I bought my own mini fridge as well).
Once, I had a high fever and had to stay in the room for days. She knew I was sick and had Tylenol in her possession but did not offer me any. She left without saying goodbye or giving any notice and deleted me from all social media.
shirleex
45. Disgusting Foodie
When I first entered my new room, the stench hit me like a skunk-fueled car crash. I look around to see rotting half-eaten fruit, rotting half-eaten pizza, and rotting half-eaten pretty much everything.
I gag and step out to find a pool of bleach I can clean myself and the room, and when I come back with as much air freshener as I can get, I meet my new mate.
"Hey man, my name OculusAntics. Would you mind if we threw some of this stuff away?" I said as I gestured to... pretty much everything. "Oh, no, I was actually about to eat that..."
It caught me by surprise, but I figured he was just messing with me, so I laughed it off and started bringing in bags. Sure enough, the first thing I see upon getting back is him sitting at his desk, double-stuffing weeks-old pizza into his gullet.
OculusAntics