WATCH: Stormy Daniels’ Offers Grads Advice For Encounters With Orange “Slob Pig” Men In Commencement Speech

Who gave the commencement speech at your graduation? Perhaps a local politician or celebrity, or a successful alumni — these are popular choices. It probably wasn’t an adult film star, but after you’ve heard this one from Stormy Daniels, you may just feel that school staff missed an opportunity.

[Photo by Britta Pedersen/picture alliance via Getty Images]

Daniels, whose last few years have been rocked by her decision to come forward about her affair with Donald Trump before he became President of the United States, performed a commencement speech for a fictional graduating class, in a scripted musical podcast. The podcast is called Prom In Hell, and it had a record-setting #1 debut on both Apple and Spotify podcast platforms.

Her advice to graduates includes some of the standard advice — find something you love to do, make memories that will last a lifetime, and so on. Most of it, though, is less common advice:

“Whatever you do if a slob and pig of a man with orange skin and a terrible comb-over invite you to dinner make sure it’s at a restaurant and not in his God**n hotel room….”

She also warns that in such a hypothetical case, if graduates are ever offered hush money from such a man, they’d better get it in cash up front, and that they should follow her example in not allowing “the 12 hours I spent with that pig” to define the rest of her life.

Her other advice, some of which might involve legal repercussions of its own:

“Leave a hickey on your boyfriend the size of a grapefruit. Tag your name across a high school wall with spray paint. Film a sex tape and then release it when it’s the worst possible time for the other person.”

You can stream full episodes of Prom In Hell here or on your preferred podcasting app.

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