“Uh-uh, No More Dating:” Most Awkward and Terrible Dating Experiences

We cannot deny that most of us enjoy dating someone. It’s a perfect time to know more about a person and to judge whether they will become a friend, a partner, or another chapter that ended as a failure.

Well, these people were in the latter part. They expected to have a normal yet special date that they could look back to as a good memory. However, it turned out to be a failed date.

1. Good Pizza

A few years ago, I met a guy at a bar who was born on exactly the same day as I was. That seemed like reason enough to accept his offer when he asked me out.

He told me to dress up very nicely as we would be attending an art gallery opening. I got all dolled up, and when he came to pick me up, he was in a T-shirt and jeans.

Okay, maybe I misunderstood the attire requirement. We got there, and it was in a warehouse out in the middle of nowhere. It was actually an art gallery, but barely.

Some of his friends were there, but he wouldn't introduce me to them. He proceeded to chat with them and ignored me the entire evening. Meanwhile, I'm dressed to the nines, and they're all in jeans.

After we left, he asked if he could take me out to dinner. I figured, whatever, at least I'd get a free meal out of this awful evening.

We hit up a nice pizza joint and ordered a pizza. As I reached for a second slice, he just looked at me and said, "WOW! A second slice? Really? Jeez, you're a house!". So I ate the rest of the pizza.

etothepowerof3

Met a girl on an online dating website, and it seemed normal enough to take her out to dinner for our second date. After having a good conversation on different topics, she casually says, "I don't usually show people this so early."

But then she proceeds to pull out a book where all the pages are frayed. I said I'm like, "oh cool, what book is that?"

It was something I couldn't even remember, but the next thing she said was, "I eat paper, and I eat this book."

I tried to play it as normally as I could and asked her questions about it. Ended the date with a hug. Now that I think about it, it wasn't the real deal breaker, but still what the heck.

[deleted]

Not entirely a failure but something out of the ordinary, especially in our age. I met this girl at college. She was one beautiful girl.

I even joined a choir to get to know her better. I felt good chemistry between us, and even our mutual friends noticed the reaction between us.

Eventually, I built up the courage to ask this girl out on a date. Things seemed to be going fine until the end of the date. She told me she was planning on becoming a nun.

screws

Third date with a super artsy guy: We went to see this film, which was an "action" movie with 2 hours of no action, no anything, and about one line of dialogue.

I casually pinched myself the entire movie to keep from dozing off because of boredom while he was pretty much enraptured by it.

Afterward, we went to a cafe to get a snack, and he suggested we split a burger. Then the waitress came, and he said, "Instead of french fries, can we just get a salad." I really wanted those fries.

beliza_beth

I'm about 18 years old at the time, and I meet a bunch of girls that are all friends with a good friend of mine. Among them was a beautiful girl, ridiculously out of my league.

Therefore, I set my eyes on a more reasonable target: her best friend. A few days later, I received a call from the cute girl, telling me she and a few other people were watching a movie at her place and that I should come.

I figured the friend I set my eyes on would most likely be there. When I get there, it's just me and her. She's looking super cute and says it turns out everyone canceled, and it's just her and me.

She had rented some horror flick and kept the whole night clinging to my arm. At the end of the movie, the mood is perfect, and she's clearly into me and everything.

At that moment, I opened my mouth and asked something along the lines of “So, that friend of yours is pretty great. Does she have anyone in her life?” I had been completely oblivious to all the signs.

She played it cool, and she set me up with the other girl, who I dated for about a week and turned out to be some sort of psycho-control freak. I later learned that the movie night was meant to be a date.

Mr_GIS

Five years out of high school, I asked a girl I had a crush on way back in high school to come stay with me in Toronto for a weekend. We grew up in London. She took the bus up, and we hung out all day. 

I showed her the sights, took her out for a nice dinner, and eventually returned to my place to watch a movie she had brought with her short bus.

Finally end of the night, we head to bed, brush our teeth, etc. Get into bed and snuggle up. 

At this point, a deal was sealed, so I leaned in for a kiss, and she flew back and yelled, "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING!?” Confused, I asked, "Um... what do you mean what am I doing?". She replies, "I thought you knew."... I respond, "Thought I knew what exactly?" Finally, she blurts out, "I'm GAY!". Still had to hang out with her all the next day, so awkward.

Dajaun

I got into the wrong vehicle. It was my first date with this guy through a dating site. He told me he was driving a black sedan, but I didn't see one in the parking lot.

There was, however, a pickup truck idling by the steps. The windows were tinted. I panicked and opened the passenger door.

It should be noted that my date was a black guy, but the dude behind the wheel was white.

We shared an intense moment of eye contact until I slammed the door, apologizing and laughing hysterically. I then had to wait on the steps in humiliating silence while that guy just sat in his truck, probably wondering what the heck just happened.

DoctorRichardKimble

I was 22 and met a cool girl in comm college. I liked a lot of the same things, such as the good conversation. She was interesting; she studied abroad in Japan, and we made a date to go out and see a band.

She couldn't get in because she was 15. Turns out she was some homeschooled/self-schooled thing.

Felt like such a loser because she was obviously more into me as an older guy than anything else.

I should have known when she said my civic was a nice car. I thought she was just being polite or sarcastically flattering.

gabbagool

I went out with this guy. We went to a Famous Diner. I should have known right there it was bad, but I have the tendency to look for the best in people. The waitress comes over, and he asks if they serve alcohol.

I am ready to leave at this point but bear it a little longer. Part of me just wants to see where this could possibly go.

I then notice a house key tied on a shoestring around his neck. He orders a bunch of food, and I say I'm not hungry since I plan on bailing really soon.

It's time to pay. He pulls out this Hello Kitty velcro wallet with one credit card in it, and that's it. It's not even his. I paid for his meal and left. I don't know what I was thinking.

theehill

I had been in a relationship for two years in high school. We broke up, and I just started dating a distant friend of the ex.

We had been dating for about two weeks, and he had me in his car in the parking lot after school one day because he said he had to talk to me.

So, I'm sitting there, and he says, "I want to sing you a song." He pulls out this piece of paper with the lyrics to a Famous Song." He starts singing the "baby, baby, baby, baby, baby" in the beginning.

I told him to stop because that was THE SONG of my ex and I. He gets embarrassed and ends up eating the piece of paper. Like crumpled it up, put it in his mouth, and swallowed it. It was weird.

jmmiller

Had gone on a really great first date with a guy I had met on Social Media. We decided to meet up again, and he suggested we meet at the same bar as the first date when I got off work.

I get to the bar and am waiting for him to arrive, so I order a drink. 10 minutes later, I saw him walking over to me. The bouncer is following closely behind him.

When he got to my table, the bouncer said, "No dude, you are still kicked out of here from earlier," and escorted him out. So I stayed and finished my drink.

redsox87

Met this totally unbelievably hot woman and asked her out. She accepts and decides she wants to go ice skating. Awesome!. So we skated. I didn't fall once, well, until after an hour, and it was time to clear the ice. Broke my wrist.

Then, she wanted to grab dinner. Excellent, she must like me! I ate using one hand throughout the entire dinner.

No problem, I'm almost ready to leave, and my wrist is HURTING ME! Movie? Sure! Ok, make sure she sits away from my broken wrist since it's a horror flick, and she might grab my arm.

So the date ended at 1 am or so. I stopped by a friend for some painkillers, and he said, "Wow, I think your arm is broken." So, next stop, ER! Yep, three fractures on my radius

shiny_brine

Went out with a girl. Five minutes after sitting down at the restaurant, she said, "I'm a little old-fashioned and think guys should always pay for everything when they are dating a girl."

I had planned on paying but having her so blatantly state that so early on, I was pretty pissed off and realized the date was already a total bust.

I told her that the reason guys traditionally paid for everything was because women weren't capable of getting real jobs back then and that I would also order for her since that was traditional, too.

bigblades

The guy came to pick me up at my place in his little sports car. Okay. Then he went flying down the freeway at 95mph, which was a little scary, I guess.

We went to lunch, and he was so nervous that he couldn't eat. He insisted on facing the door and kept glancing over there like he was waiting for someone to show up.

As he was zooming me back to my apartment, he started telling me this story about why he had to face the door. He was supposedly some kind of secret agent who was likely being followed by Russian spies.

He dropped me off, and his parting words were: "If you are approached by two men with matching red ties and black suits, run." I never saw him again.

lillielemon

Went out with a boy from a previous job once. It was when I was incredibly shy, and I'd never been on a "real" date at the age of 18.

I didn't know how to behave. I'd thought he was extremely outgoing and talkative, but I guess he just played off my behavior and was twice as awkward.

I think we just said about five sentences to each other for the whole night of our date. Of course, we never spoke again in our lives.

therealhannah

It's the only date I've ever "been" on. I met the girl on social media, and we planned to meet up at the museum, so as I got to the museum.

I got there and saw her several yards away, so I waved. She looked my way but then started walking away quickly.

I then started walking towards her, thinking she didn't see me, and was looking for me.

I caught up and said, "Hi," expecting a welcome. She said she couldn't date me because I'm not her type. All I said to her In real life was, "Hi."

Dadentum

I went on a date with a wonderfully cheery blonde woman when I was about 23 years old. We told each other our life stories, had wonderful small talk, and it had moved on to what future plans we had for ourselves.

I told her I despised the cold and couldn't wait to move down to Florida when I had the chance. I sarcastically said, “I'd be the happiest man alive if I never saw another snowflake again.”

She gave me a grim look and then told me her plans were to move someplace snowy and that the 'snowflake' was her favorite symbol. She pulled out a necklace her grandmother had given her, and it was a snowflake.

She never called back. Florida wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and I'm moving to Denver in January.

nerdwithme

After losing a ton of weight, I decided to try some internet dating. I got asked out by this guy with Asperger's. I figure, OK, I'll go on a date with him.

We're both socially awkward, but we have a lot in common. It shouldn't be too bad. So we walked around a little bit. I'm a terrible conversationalist, and he kept getting frustrated that neither of us could keep up a conversation.

I felt terrible, but with every passing minute, my already below-average ability to talk waned. Eventually, he sat down and asked me what he could do better, and I felt terrible.

I told him that it was my fault, that I'm not used to talking to people, let alone dating, and he kept saying, "STOP IT. I AM THE MAN, AND IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY TO LEAD THE DATE."

ada42

I went out with a musician on a blind date once. He talked about himself non-stop for an hour, and when I mentioned casually that I like things like telling stories on social media, making fantasy movies, and fixing computers, he called me weird. He said, "You can't be a computer nerd with that pretty face. You could do so much better."

I told him that I completely agreed that I could do better things with my time, stood up, and excused myself. According to a friend, he never understood what I meant by that comment and was pissed I left him with the bill.

I don't usually expect guys to foot the bill just because they're guys, but I later explained to him that if he was going to ask me out and then insult me, he's lucky he only paid for a soda.

Lotech

I was in the tenth grade, and this guy I really liked invited me to a soccer game. This was about the second time we ever met.

He ended up seeing his ex-girlfriend there and talked to her nearly the whole time. I sat in the bleachers alone, trying to call my parents to come to pick me up.

Not until some random guy from the marching band came over and played me a "song" on his trombone to make me feel better. I think he'd been playing trombone for maybe two months at the time.

[deleted]

Had just moved to the area and met a girl online somewhere. She came over to hang out and watch TV or whatever. After a bit, she decided we needed to go to the store because I didn't have anything she wanted to drink.

I really didn't have much, so it was no big deal. We can run over to the gas station across the street and get something. She's ok with going there but insists we drive.

It's a beautiful June evening, and I really thought she was joking. She was not.

She refused to walk there, and was getting mad at me for pushing the issue. This is how far we had to go. The moment she plopped her back part in that passenger seat was the moment I decided this would be the last time I ever saw her.

catch10110

So I met this girl on the internet, and she seemed really nice and down-to-earth. We had a lot in common, including our hobbies, politics, and stuff like that, so I thought we might hit it off.

We agree to meet up in person at a coffee place. Now, bear in mind that I'm not super attractive, so up to this point, she hasn't seen any pictures of me. Instead, we have pre-arranged recognition signals.

She walks in the door, and I spot her by her clothing instantly and start waving. She gets this sort of uncertain look on her face and walks over and says, "Sam?" and when I say yes, she just says, "Haha...no," and walks out.

samtravis

One night in the 8th grade, I finally got the guts to ask this girl out. She happened to be a friend of my best friend's current girlfriend, so we decided to make it a double date.

During the movie, everything was going as planned, and I sat by her while my friend sat with his girlfriend. Then we see a couple of her witchy girlfriends walk into the theater and so happen to see the girl I was with right away.

She then motioned with her hand for her friends to come over here.

When her friends got to where we were sitting, the girl I asked out turned to me and asked, "Can you scoot down a seat so I can sit next to my friends?" I said sure, so I got up and just walked out of the theater. To add insult to injury, she stayed there, and her friends ate the popcorn I bought.

CubeMaster

At sixteen, I had my first date on Valentine's Day. Being young and poor, we went to a fast-food restaurant where my date ordered off the kid's menu and got herself chicken fingers.

Embarrassed by this, I did what I could to steer the conversation away and try to have a pleasant evening. When the meal finally came, I noticed she couldn't cut her own food.

Noticing the look on my face, my date got upset and, in an annoyed tone, said, "I just learned how to do this last week, okay!"

After a further conversation in the night, she claimed I couldn't have been in pre-calc in a public school because she was only in algebra II at her private school, so I decided to pay the bill and leave.

artivan

This guy from work asked me out on a date after a few days of flirting with me out of nowhere (we worked together for like six months before he asked me out).

I thought it was kind of odd that he was suddenly interested in me, but I agreed to go. I met him at his place, and we took his car to dinner.

When we came back, my windshield was smashed, and 2 of my tires were flat. his response was- "Yeah, sorry. I just got out of a bad relationship."

sharkanie

I went to prom with my girlfriend. Ultimately, since she was a year younger than me, she didn't really care that it was prom and ended up spending more than most of the night talking to other people or just away from me. 

We only danced once, and before that, the first chance she had--she danced with some other guy. Also, in every picture we have, she makes faces or poses weirdly.

I mean, don't get me wrong, 

I'm all for fooling around in pictures and generally not taking things forward, but it was exceptionally disappointing. She took her prom much more seriously, but our relationship didn't last that long.

GiraffeHat

She didn't speak at all unless I asked a question about her but would answer with a close-ended statement without elaborating.

This went on for 6 hours. After the first hour, I decided to turn it into a social experiment and see how far I could push her to show at least some form of humanity.

I asked her if she was normally this quiet or if I was just that creepy. She responded with, "Well...you're not that creepy..." We never spoke again. Ever.

TurtleNipNToxicShock

Five or so years ago, I met this guy online. We talked pretty regularly, and he had gone to a nearby High School. I had seen pictures of him, and he seemed attractive enough. I finally agreed to go on a date with him.

He arrived to pick me up, and when I opened the door, I was greeted by a boy with a prosthetic leg who had lost his hands. I was not entirely taken aback, but I was definitely surprised.

I went on the date, anyway. I didn't want to let something like that get in the way of what could have been a pretty good date. But then, he was driving and using his cell phone? And I was scared, I'm not going to lie.

Everything went well as we were eating, but when we walked around the mall afterward, he basically started lecturing me on how he could do everything alone and didn't need any help. However, I hadn't said anything about it.

He was basically yelling, and I'm sure it looked like I had just done something horribly wrong. I asked for him to take me home, and when I was getting out of his truck, he asked if he could take me out again. I declined and walked inside. I saw him at a bar a couple of months ago. We both kinda pretended the other didn't exist.

My_Vagina_is_Leaking

Just before summer, I asked a classmate who I happened to know fancied me out for coffee. I met her at the place one evening, and for the first 10 minutes, I was good, but then it went quickly downhill.

I was ordering at the counter and fainted (I have a history of doing so, and it probably wasn't a good decision to refrain from eating most of the day; being nervous didn't help either).

I had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance. She texted me later to meet up again, but I never went through it. Most embarrassing moment of my life.

GWizzle

I was just getting over some terrible food poisoning (from clams. I Couldn't hold ANYTHING down for two days) when my friend called me up and told me she wanted to go out for sushi.

I tell her no way, and she tells me there's a girl she's bringing along that she wants to set me up with. So I went. I literally stared at the table and tried not to throw up the entire time. I maybe said two words. Worst date ever.

Two years later, I ran into the girl my friend had tried to set me up with, and we laughed about what a horrible date it had been. I asked her out. Two more years later, we got married.

windolf7

Last year, I decided to text a cute girl that I had class with the previous term to try to set up a date, and she responded with something like, "Sure! I was hoping I'd hear from you again!" She said she was a good bowler, so we agreed on bowling, and the day of the date rolled around the next week.

She was sitting on the railing outside the bowling alley, waiting. Then, when I got out of the car and smiled at her, she said, "Oh hey! I wasn't expecting to see you here!" I thought something might be up, but I couldn't think of a good response, so I acted like I wasn't expecting to see her either.

I asked her if I should go inside and get a lane set up for us, and she said, "Yeah, sure, just hold on a bit...I asked another friend to meet me here." When I asked who it was, she told me that it was her friend who just so happened to have the same first name as me.

I went inside and handed over some passes for free games, put on my shoes, and then put our three names in the machine. I didn't want to just start without her, so after waiting for 10 minutes or so, I got a text from her saying, "Where are you? I really don't want to be stuck here with this guy I used to have class with!"

So I found out that my instincts were right, but as a bowler with free bowling passes that were about to expire, I wasn't about to just leave.

I responded, "Sorry, family emergency, I can't make it," and a minute later, she came back inside and found me at whatever lane I was on. When I asked her about her friend, she told me that he wasn't coming.

When I asked her if she was ready to start, she then told me, "I'll just watch. I don't really like to bowl. I only really came to watch my other friend; supposedly, he's a really good bowler."

After that, I told her, "Well, if you're not going to bowl, there's not much of a point in staying. I was just going to practice for a match anyway." We said our goodbyes, and I never heard from her again.

Jollies

Organised a date with this gorgeous girl while I was at the surf club. A call for a rescue goes off, and I run off to do my thing.

Pull this older guy from the water. He is not in great shape and has stopped breathing. CPR and the whole thing works. Ten minutes later, the ambulance took him away.

At the date, she wanted to know if I was gay or bi, had to explain what CPR was, that I wasn't attracted to the person, and that it was to try and save a life. Nope, she wasn't buying it.

CompletelyFlammable

It was a 2nd date, but it was also Valentine's Day, so I decided to get her flowers, a card that plays music, and some chocolates.

It was freezing cold, but I didn't have anywhere to keep them besides my car. I took the chance the flowers might die. We had a nice date, and when we got back to my car, I got them out.

Oh, those flowers were DEAD. "Ah well...". She opened the card, and the sound chip just went bbbzzzzzzzz. I sighed and said, "Well... I hope the chocolates are okay". She started laughing and gave me our first kiss.

[deleted]

First date with my now husband. We are both very anxious people who had little experience dating, and we were both so nervous. I threw up right before the date.

He came to pick me up, and we drove to the library, where we were planning to use their wifi to watch Netflix in the back of the car. As soon as we got to the library, he got out of the car and threw up in the parking lot.

I then admitted to him that I had also thrown up right before the date. He tried to play it off as us having the flu or food poisoning, but we both knew it was really just the nerves.

Cittegirl

In my freshman year of college, I went on a first date with a guy from my Italian class. We had pizza, and after dinner, we were walking around, and it started to drizzle. I was wearing ballerina flats with no treads.

I took a step on the wet cobblestones, and my foot shot out from under me. I landed on my back part, hard. I was mortified, of course, so I stood up quickly. My date asked if I was okay. I remember saying that I felt queasy... and the next thing I knew, I was regaining consciousness in the gutter.

A woman stopped to help. I eventually got up and finished my date at the student health center. It turned out I'd broken my tailbone. I had to sit on a donut cushion in class for the next two weeks.

It didn't work out. It's too bad because breaking my back part on our first date would have made a great " how we met" story.

therapy_works

Girl and I made plans to meet at an outdoor mall and see a movie, and this was back in middle school, so my mom had to drive me in about an hour’s worth of traffic.

Suddenly, she cancels 15 minutes out. I felt so bad for my mom driving me all the way there already, so I simply pretended like she hadn’t canceled.

My mom dropped me off, and I watched a movie by myself. Almost cried, but I kept it together. But I mean, the movie was good, at least.

Lil_Sousa

I was 13, and it was my first date. She wanted to meet at some place and then go somewhere else, but I was pretty bad at knowing places, so I had to ask my mom where it was.

She gave me a lift, and I thought she'd go away, but she apparently went out to see what was happening.

Not knowing I was being watched, I met her, and we started walking when suddenly my mom yelled out from behind us that we were going in the wrong direction.

I was so embarrassed that I wasn't able to talk to the girl normally afterward, and I just went home very quickly because I thought the whole thing was already messed up.

_Norman_Bates

When I was a teenager, there was this girl that I really liked. We started to hang out a lot more after we ended up in a class together.

Around two months after the class started, she asked if I wanted to go get coffee sometimes. I, of course, said yes, ecstatic that she asked me out.

However, while we were on the “date,” she started saying stuff about how people always mistook her for a lesbian, saying how there was no way she would ever go out with a girl.

I was thrown off by this because I thought that she, a girl, had asked me, a girl, out on a date. I said that I thought that she asked me out, and she got really embarrassed, so now both of us are sitting in the middle of a coffee shop on a sort of date that only one of us wanted to be on.

Catnip_cryptidd

Coworker and I eventually dated. We would go walking after work at this big park, and afterward, we'd go to a mart for bottled water.

Well, it was a lottery night, and the lot was full, so I had to park at least ten or so parking spaces from the front doors. It's a chilly fall evening, so I get out with the car windows closed.

I get the water and come out of the store and notice that she has both of the windows about halfway down. So I get in, and it wreaks of a horrendous-smelling gas.

She apologized, but I just laughed it off, and then she started to laugh, too. We hung out a lot as coworkers, but that incident made me talk with her about starting a date, and we did.

rap31264

My very first date was when I was 13. I'd had a crush on him for over a year. I was so excited that he said yes to my question about whether he wanted to go out with me.

We went from our HS to a street with some shops. He was on his bike and made me walk. Cycled a bit too fast, so I had to do some awkward speedwalking. Never got off his bike the entire date.

Pointed at a rack of CDs with classical music outside a record shop and jokingly said that he thought that artist was "so me".

The next day, a girl told me she had gone on the exact same date as him, including the remark that the artist’s music was "so her." Oh, and then a few days later, he called me a fat pig in the hallways. Good times.

DatEllen

I was 12 years old when I had my first date. It was late 1980, long before cell phones were a thing. The girl had shown interest in me, and I thought she had cool taste in music, so I was up for it. 

I took the bus to the military base where she lived. I was walking to her house with plenty of time when I realized that I did not remember her exact apartment number. All of the buildings look exactly the same. 

I said hello to a lot of strange people that night after knocking on their door. By the time I found her, I was really late, and she was bummed out, and I was totally panicked. 

We went to a dance where the boys I knew made terrible fun of me for having a date, something I did not react to well back then. 

Her friends were also completely terrible. The night ended with her crying and me wanting to crawl into a hole and cover myself in the dirt forever.

imk

Forced double date scenario, where the boy my then bff was dating absolutely couldn’t go on any dates without his BFF, so I had to be dragged along.

The friend asked me out, and I told him no, and he spent the rest of the time aggressively yelling at me things like, ‘I CAN’T believe you said no’ and ‘I can’t believe you don’t want to date me.’ Had to sit through a whole movie this way.

The plus side is that I was never forced to go on these stupid dates again. I spent the whole time cringing and happy about the huge bullet dodging.

Unfortunately, I drove with my friend to the theater. Had it happened in today's day and age, I would’ve gotten a Lyft/uber out of there. Wish I wasn’t under so much stress that I couldn’t remember taxis were a thing.

parisnchocolates

I was on a first date with a girl, and it was going really well. We'd only met the day before, but we were vibing, and I was pretty confident and optimistic. We were sitting near the front of the bar and in an eyeshot of basically everyone there at a small circular table.

Then she asked if I could pass the water. I, feeling kind of tipsy and cocky, decided it would be funny to hold it over her head, trying to be funny, pretending to drop it on her head.

But then my hand slipped, and I actually did pour the whole jug of water on her head. In front of the whole bar. I'm pretty sure she understood it was an accident, but by that point, the damage was done, and there were several tables of people laughing at us. Needless to say, that was the last time I saw her.

stephenstephen7

My girlfriend and I went on a picnic/fishing trip. Everything was out on or near a blanket laid out on the grass not far from a river where we were earlier. Then it started to RAIN. Not a sprinkle, a good hard rain.

So quickly, we started packing things up, throwing everything together to carry over and put in the car. Once everything was in the trunk, I slammed it shut.

The very instant I heard it click, I was struck with the thought that inside the tackle box were the car keys, where I had put them so that I could be a bit more comfortable for our picnic.

It was still raining hard. We had no cell phone. The closest phone was about a mile away, in someone’s farmhouse. The only other keys were 30 miles away, in the possession of her dad. So we started walking that mile.

MoreCommonCents

My brother was downtown on a date with a girl when he learned he was lactose intolerant. They shared ice cream, and it was a beautiful time. They were walking down the main street when the urge came.

He freaked out and ran in the opposite direction. Went behind some bush and exercised the demons.

Turns out it was in front of an apt building with balconies.

Some lads saw him while partying on the said balcony and screamed, "Hey, look! That guy's taking a dump!" Needless to say, he didn't get a second date. However, that is, to this day, one of the funniest first date stories I've ever heard.

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