The Last Brain Cells: Chronicles of Dumbest People You’ll Know

In every place and circle, there is just one person who cannot properly function. A moment where you really doubt how they could live in this world? Are they brain-dead?

Well, these people from the Reddit Community shared their silly stories of the most stupid people they know. Careful! You’re diving into a crazy compilation. Don’t try to hold your laugh!

1. Closed Eyes

One night during high school, my friend and I got invited to a party. I didn't drive back then, so my friend picked me up. All went well on our way to the party. 

On the way back, however, he got pulled over. As we were pulling to the side of the road, I told him that I was gonna pretend to be sleeping (since I was the passenger). 

Anyway, I heard the cop get out of his cop car, walk towards our car, and stop at the window, but he didn't say anything. I can feel the brightness of his flashlight.

But I don't hear him or my friend say anything. After about what seemed like an eternity, I decided to open my eyes to see what was going on. That's when I see my friend, the driving guy, pretending to be sleeping, too.

Puppetz1287

My brother and I were in the kitchen one day as teenagers. My brother was filling the sink to wash dishes. When the sink was nearly full, he went to turn the tap off, but it wouldn't budge, so the water kept flowing. 

I tried turning it, too, but with no success. This is when the panic set in. The level of the water was rising fast, and we didn't want to flood the kitchen. 

He took big saucepans out of the press to fill with water to keep things from overflowing while I was in a frantic scramble under the sink, trying to find the mains to turn it off. 

I couldn't find it!! Now, panicking, I took over the pot-filling duty, and my brother went running off to look for Dad as quickly as he could.

Dad came running in with my brother while we were shouting at him about looking for the mains. Dad just came over to the sink and pulled the plug out of the hole, letting all the water down the drain. Ha ha.

Eponius

I had a boss named Tammy. One night, we were all working late doing stocktakes, and we were discussing the impending lunar eclipse. Someone asked what happens during an eclipse. 

Tammy grandly explained that the eclipse would occur when America went in front of the moon, blocking our (Australia’s) view of it. 

She literally thought the earth stretched itself into a U bend or neck pillow shape, and half of it stayed in our normal orbit, and the other half stretched itself over and around to block the moon for the rest of the earth casually.

Isthatyourhair

For the last 3 years, my roommate once said that if solar technology keeps advancing at the rate it is, we will absorb all the energy made by the sun and fix global warming. 

Not 5 minutes later, after attempting to inform this poor fellow about how the sun's energy output is not determined by what the energy eventually interacts with.

He states that wind farms are worse because they cause tropical storms. I hope he is just an epic troll. I just... I don't know...

ChanceFray

Had a guy in a third-year undergrad developmental psych course raise his hand in a full lecture hall and ask the professor, "Prof, do infants diagnosed with SIDS get asthma later in life... like are they more likely to get asthma??"

SIDS stands for Sudden infant death syndrome. He just kept pursuing the question. The professor didn't understand how she could answer it, and she thought there was some kind of logic in it that she wasn't seeing.   

Finally, some girl took the initiative to shout across the room, "No, they are not more likely to get asthma. They are dead. They have died suddenly and will thus not be at risk of developing asthma." 

Great day. He always sat before me, and I would see him writing absolutely horrible poetry and song lyrics.

Dankmaster_Reptilian

I am half-Korean, attending high school in the Midwest during the 1992 LA riots. My typing teacher pulled me into the hallway.

She asked if I had an uncle or something I could call in LA to stop the riots. She said she knew that we were all close and we all had stores and whatnot.

Therefore, I must have a connection there. I was like, "Lady, even if I did have an uncle I could call, do you think he is Batman?"

christamh

My high school classmate Nick and I were in chemistry, doing a lab practical, which required the use of a bulb pipette.

It was a glass pipette with a removable bulb that you squeeze. Nick didn't know how to use the pipette, so he put it to his mouth to suck up SULFURIC ACID. 

It got about three-quarters of the way up before our teacher screamed, "NICKKKKK!!!! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW."

deamt

My cousin. All through public school, she was a snob who looked down on everyone. She was super stylish and struggled academically.

We graduated in 2014. We both went to colleges (not the same one.) She got a job at a bar and stayed out late drinking. Her boyfriend told her she didn’t need to complete college, so she just stopped showing up. 

Didn’t drop; she just stopped showing up. Completely flunked out. Here comes the mega stupidity: Our families live hours away from her college at the time. 

Her family went to move her back home. My cousin’s mom noticed a pile of clothes in the corner. The mom said, ‘What’s that, your laundry? Pack it, and we’ll wash it when we get home later.’

My cousin (I kid you not): ‘You can wash those?!’ Turns out, she’d been throwing away clothes instead of washing them. 

She claimed she didn’t know she could, yet she washed her undergarments and bras without a hitch. She’s now at home with her family and has started doing more chores to show an increase in responsibility. 

She still tries to throw clothes away, citing that she didn’t know they could be washed and reused. Makes me wonder what she thought all those years before college, before she left home. She wore some of the same outfits repeatedly — she had to have known they could be washed.

PingTheAwesome

When I was in the Navy, there was a cook on my ship. He once served "rare" chicken. I genuinely couldn't tell whether he was trying to cover up his limitless incompetence or if he genuinely believed that rare poultry was a real thing. 

He was dumb enough to believe it. Another time, he just filled a pan with ground beef and called it meatloaf. Another time, he was supposed to make sugar cookies.

You know, several hundred of them for the whole crew. He didn't bother to read the label on the container he opened. Apparently, he didn't taste the batter at any point.

He actually made salt cookies. He used up all the remaining salt in the pantry, and we had unseasoned food for the remaining several weeks of the mission, during which time the captain assigned someone to be the cook's bodyguard.

AuspiciousAuspicious

A girl my dad dated for a while. Even while dating her, my dad would say she was dumber than a bag of rocks.

One day, she sat down to watch a movie with my dad. The film was all about this guy and his twin brother. She sits and watches the whole thing with no interruptions. At the end, she turns and asks, "So there were two of him?"

It would explain why she always had the TV turned to a music channel. Apparently, she couldn't follow normal TV or movies.

ShiraCheshire

There was a troubled kid I went to high school with. He struggled with school but had friends, but he was starting to do illegal things and going down the wrong path. 

He decided to photocopy the front and back sides of a 20-dollar bill, cut it out of normal paper, and glue the two halves with Elmer’s glue. 

What's even sad is that to test his new money, he went to the gas station and bought some gum, and it ACTUALLY WORKED?!? So, in his mind, it must have meant it was foolproof. 

So he then tried to go and deposit the glued-up money at an actual bank. He was obviously found out and arrested. I don’t know where he is now, but I assume he is making similar life choices.

RougeWinter

Had a next-door neighbor who robbed a Howard Johnson's at the top of our street at gunpoint, wearing a ski mask. Took the money, took off the mask, and walked home.

When cops pulled him over and found the mask, the gun, and the money, he was wasted and asked them, "Would it help if I said I'm sorry?" 

He spent a couple of years on Riker's Island. He came out, broke into a local apartment house, and stole some money and jewelry.

He got stuck out on a fire escape when the ladder wouldn't go down and closed the window behind him. A couple more years. That's two stories, I guess. 

There's a few more, but you get the picture. He did leave me a box of cassettes when he went up one time, among them The Allman Brothers Live at the Fillmore. 

I became a lifelong fan, so, thanks to the unnamed next-door failed robber, He was actually a really nice guy and, like, a young Ray Liotta handsome. Just dumb as a brick.

[deleted]

We were on a drive through an animal park. We see an animal. She asks, "What kind of meat would that one be?" Someone replies, "Oh...it'd probably taste similar to beef, I'd imagine.” 

A few minutes later, we saw a different animal. She asks, "And what about that one? Would it be, like, a fillet or a T-bone or something?" Then I realized that this woman thinks different cuts of meat come from different animals.

Face_Roll

Once, my friend ordered macaroni and cheese at a restaurant in New Orleans. At the table with about 15 other people, he says out loud, "How did macaroni and cheese become a thing?" 

To which I replied, "What do you mean?" He says, "I mean, it's so redundant?" I say, "What? How is macaroni and cheese redundant?" 

And he says, "Think about it. You've got cheese, and then you have pasta, which is made of cheese." HE THOUGHT ALL PASTA WAS MADE OF CHEESE...

[deleted]

I worked on a hay press for about a month. Most guys had a high school education. One particular guy was telling me about a girl he was talking to on a dating app.

When he said that she was in New York and that he wanted to go visit her. I told him that that was pretty cool and New York would be quite the change from our little town. 

He then asked me how close New York was... we were in Washington state... he had no idea New York was over 2,000 miles away.

RollTideGaming

When I was a teenager, my friend's older brother was one of the dumbest I'd ever encountered. We once witnessed him trying to see inside a motorcycle gas tank using a bic lighter. 

  He assured us a lighter flame isn't hot enough to ignite gasoline. On another occasion, we got into a debate concerning the power of an atomic bomb.   

He was dead set that it could only take out "like two houses max!" This man went on to have multiple arrests before I moved away and also fathered 3 children by 2 women. 

We all lived in a trailer court as well. I'm not saying it's a prerequisite for idiocy, but some of us get out, and some do not.

ReadTomRobbins

I once had a property manager (the person in charge of the rental I lived in since homeowners lived out of state) who did a bunch of obnoxious things. 

My husband and I thought she was greedy and maybe getting money for herself and hiding it from the homeowners for repairs or something like that because of the shady things she would do when we had repairs.

Then we mentioned something about gardening. She said, "You know, I've always wanted to try growing tomatoes and just watering them with salt water. That way, the tomatoes would already be salted when you ate them!" 

Huge reminder to never attribute to malice what is just pure old-fashioned being dumb as a rock.

heinleinfan

Knew a guy in high school who, I'm 99% sure, only passed because he cheated like crazy and got tons of people to do his work for him. 

In grade 11, he was taking some kind of politics course and writing some kind of essay on American politics (we're from Canada). 

I agreed to edit his essay, and it was the most insane thing I had ever had to do. There were multiple sentences that I couldn't understand until I asked him directly. 

He ended his essay with the phrase "just like Jesus would have wanted" (I don't think he was Christian?) and spelled Condoleezza Rice as "Conga Lisa Rice."

coolchazine

A guy I worked with named Buddy bought a huge Snap-On roll-away toolbox for over $3,000 on credit. Two days later, he sold it to a coworker for $1,500 because he had some overdue bills and had to pay them.

Needless to say, he never paid Snap-On for the toolbox. He was off into the winds after he was fired for starting his fourth fist-fight at work. 

One of the other guys I worked with told the Snap-On salesman where Buddy's new job was, and last we heard, they were now garnishing his wages.

Guy was a nutcase, though. He had very thin skin, and the slightest thing would set him off. He went absolutely nuts when he was set off, though. 

He yelled at the security guard and threatened to have him fired because he didn't like his tone. He almost got fired three times for fighting, but he was able to win the department manager over until the fourth time.

Oh, and one time, he was told to put Caution Tape across a malfunctioning gate, and he said, "I don't know how."

[deleted]

This one lady at Atlanta's Beer, Bourbon & BBQ Festival clearly didn't know where she was. I'm getting started on this rack of ribs.

I was quietly minding my own business with a glass of beer when, from the group in front of me, this lady came up to me and told me how she couldn't stand the smell of meat, roasted or smoked.

She told me to get away from there. This is despite the fact that the event's name has Barbecue in it, and she had to pay $40 to get in.

After she left, I had a good chuckle and facepalm with another lady at the table, but God, I've never seen more stupid in my life!

varunagrawal

When I worked at Target, where everything was red and covered in bullseyes, a couple came up to me, pushing a bright red cart with a bullseye on it.

They asked if we carried a certain brand. I told them that we don't, but Kohl's carries it, and they'd right up the street. Their response was, "Oh, this isn't Kohl's? What store are we in?"

If the red decor, bullseyes, and smell of popcorn in the lobby didn't give it away, a huge sign says TARGET as you enter the parking lot.

JesusGodLeah

My friend's father robbed a bank in a small town in Indiana where he lived. This was in the late 70s or early 80s. He spent ten years in prison for the crime. 

The same day he was released from prison, he robbed the same bank again. He was caught, and he went back to prison. He did not learn in those ten years not to rob any banks or anything else for that matter. 

My friend was like this is what every father does and did not seem shocked over it.

Lanna33

I once called an Uber driver. When he arrived, he immediately asked me: "Are you going to (X location?)?". I said: "No." He responded: "Great, because I'm not going to take you to (X location)." "Fine," I said.

The journey got underway, and I was curious about what he would've done if I'd said yes, I wanted to go to X location. So I asked him: "Hey, what would you have done if I had said that I DID want to go to X location?"

He responded: "Look, man, I'm not going to freaking take you to X location, OK? I told you already." I was a bit befuddled, but I tried again.

"No, no, I don't want to go there. You already know where I want to go. It's on your destination map. I'm just curious. What if I DID want to go to X location? Would you have refused me the trip? Would you have driven off?"

He said: "Look, man, I can't change the trip now. Anyway, I told you I refused to go to the X location. You gotta understand I'm busy."

We spent nearly 15 minutes with variations of this back and forth. He was a fluent English speaker, by the way. By the end of it, I was 100% convinced that he couldn't understand the syntax of a hypothetical. He literally couldn't understand the question, "If (X situation which is NOT the case), then what action would you take?"

I wasn't even mad, just astonished. How had he navigated through life thus far? What were his financial decisions like? I really wanted to follow him home and make a reality TV show about him or something.

[deleted]

A guy in my aircraft technician class. I'll call him Jim. The module at the time was about electrical power. We were having a review one Friday before the exam started. 

Earlier that week, we covered the batteries used on the aircraft, what types, how they were constructed, etc. The trainer turns to Jim and asks him about the different types, expecting him to say 'lead-acid, lithium-ion' and so on. 

Nope. Jim thinks for a moment and says, 'AA, AAA, C....' When we got to the hangar for work experience, the same trainer had lost all faith in Jim. 

We were all assigned jobs in the morning. Me and another guy on wings, a couple more on landing gear, all down through the group. 

Then he gets to Jim. Placed an A4 sheet of paper on the ground and told Jim to stand on it so it didn't blow away. We all laughed, Jim included. The trainer was joking, right?

He wasn't joking. Jim stood there all day.

[deleted]

There was this guy at my high school who wasn't too bright and was mostly harmless, but about halfway through, he decided he was gonna be a thug. 

One day, he goes into a class of first years when their teacher isn't there and robs all their electronics, cash, and valuables at knifepoint without covering his face before he leaves and gives them his real name saying, "And you better not tell them it was me Jim Conrad that stole all your stuff." 

He then proceeded to leave the school grounds with all the stolen stuff but decided against stashing it off campus, so he came back with all the stolen stuff in his backpack.

He went back to spy on the class with his backpack full of loot while police officers were there taking statements to make sure they weren't ratting him out...

Not-an-Ocelot

One of my roommates. I live in a house where we give interviews to prospective new roommates to make sure they're cool. We were interviewing a deaf guy who looked like a good fit. 

We also have a list of rules and guidelines for living in the house, and one of the current roommates asks, "Oh man, are we gonna have to get the rules printed in braille?" For. A. Deaf. Guy.

Far from an isolated incident.

[deleted]

I knew this guy in high school really thought his “practical jokes” were hilarious. He would just do stuff designed to piss you off, thinking your salty reaction would make it funny. 

You may think this guy’s a jerkward, and you’d be right. But he’s also incredibly stupid because every time someone said, “Dude, freaking chill out with your crap,” he just blew it off. Social stupidity, I guess.

Well, he knocked this kid’s hat off his head one day. (These guys were friends, but clearly there was some hostility.) Another kid picks up his hat and tells Pranker to back off. 

Pranker smacks his hat again. Another kid tells him if Pranker knocks his hat off a third time, he’ll knock Pranker’s head off.

Pranker grinned, completely oblivious to how dead-ass serious this guy was, and got absolutely clocked in the face when he messed with this guy’s hat a third time. All he could say was, “What the heck, man, chill out!” but no one was willing to hear him out.

darkanddusty

I had a manager named Roxanne (Rocky). She was a bleach blonde (literally bleached her hair once a month and then wondered why it broke/fell out), a bubblehead who only had the job because Daddy owned the restaurant.

Rocky was really obsessed with her looks and not much else. One day, she told a co-worker and me that she had her nose job done so that her eventual children wouldn't grow up with the same nose as her. 

She wasn't kidding. The co-worker and I just looked at each other and walked away. We knew it wasn't worth the effort.

Adastria

I am sure if I thought really hard, I could come up with someone more stupid, but this story is pretty good.

There was this receptionist at the veterinary office we have taken our dogs to over the years who argued with my dad about how to pronounce his name. He went in to pick up some prescriptions for our dog Daisy, and this girl asked the typical "name of the dog, name of owner" type questions.

"We have it listed as Michelle, and you don't look like a Michelle," she says. Dad asked how it was spelled on the monitor, and sure enough, it was still spelled "Michael," dad's name.

He said, "That says Michael. That's my name." And she argued with him about it! He had to get his driver's license out to show her, and even though she finally relented to let him pick up whatever it was he was down there to pick up, she was adamant my dad had been mispronouncing his own name for 50+ years.

The best part is that Dad tells us this whole story, and we think nothing of it until three months later when Mom takes the dog in for a check-up. 

The girl still thought the owner of the dog was "Michelle" and that my mom must be in a lesbian relationship. Mom gently corrected the lady that it was Michael, and again, this girl was adamant it was pronounced Michelle. 

Mom, bemused, said something along the lines of "It's a name from the Bible. It's pronounced Michael and has been for thousands of years." The receptionist sat in silence outside the minimal amount of talking needed for the rest of that visit.

[deleted]

My mom's cousin was the getaway driver when his friends held up a 7-11. He had some outstanding tickets at the time. As he was driving his moron friends home, he sped past a cop, who inevitably pulled him over. 

He defended his bad driving by telling the cop he was just the getaway driver. Then he got arrested. He has since been arrested for a series of other similarly stupid crimes.

He also believes that there's a global cabal of Jews who are out to get him. Recently, he got a DUI, which got his license revoked. 

This was obviously because of the Jews and not because he decided to drive drunk past a police station when he was denied a gun license. That was the Jews at work. 

I have no idea why he thinks a global cabal would be focused on some moron from Saskatchewan.

punkterminator

My friend's sister was 20 and pregnant. She said something about how upset she was and that her private part would be ruined. I jokingly said, “Maybe he’ll come out of your bum instead.”

She said, “What do you mean? can they come out of there too?” I thought she was joking, so I just said, “Duh, it’s a 50/50 shot.” 

She thought I was serious and asked her doctor if he could tell if the baby was gonna come out of her private part or bum.

[deleted]

I had a classmate in 10th grade who thought Google Earth was like a live stream from space. This was in 2008 or something.

His dad was deployed overseas and was supposed to come home that other week. I asked him when his dad should arrive.

He answered that his dad was already there because he had seen the ship in the harbor on Google Earth. He wouldn’t believe me as I pointed out that he saw an image.

It was overcast that day, too.

DarkEmeraldSilurian

I worked very briefly with a woman who showed herself to be a dumbass and a witch. Her grandmother died, and she and her relatives discovered that the man she'd known as her step-grandfather had never even been married to her grandmother.

She bragged about the family kicking him out of the only home he'd known for three decades because "If he wasn't good enough for my grandma to marry, he's not good enough for us." 

He was an elderly man, who lived as this woman's husband and had everything taken from him out of pettiness and spite. It showed me how stupid she was, and I was right. She was fired a week later.

[deleted]

Literally, this guy got fired last week for doing this. Whenever a customer would enter the store, he would mimic everything they said.

If he was already bad enough, he would try his best to copy their accent, too, no matter what accent it was. Multiple complaints have been made about this guy at our store.

Also. he had plenty of warnings. Well, last week, he finally got fired while serving an Asian customer, and in FULL view of our manager, he said this. "HERROOOOO, WOULD YOU RIKE A BRAG?"

Got pulled into the office, where apparently, he still maintained he'd done nothing wrong and couldn't understand why he was being fired. Definitely a dumbass.

MinimumWageBandit

I have a friend named Rachel. Now, this one night in high school, we all got the munchies and decided to go get ourselves some late-night Sonic. 

We pile into Rachel’s car even though we’ve heard stories about her bad driving, but that’s another story. Anyway, she asked us how to get to Sonic.

We proceeded to give her directions and turn for a turn until we finally pulled into the Sonic parking lot. Upon our arrival, she smirked and said, “Oh, I work here!”

UnexpectedFun89

The first time I met Ben was in Improv 101. I was only taking the class for fun, but about half the people there were aspiring actors... including Ben. 

On the first day, the teacher had us play this silly game to break the ice so we would all remember each other's names. 

The rules are pretty simple: 1) pick an adjective that starts with the same letter as your first name, 2) introduce yourself using Adjective + First Name, and 3) make a simple gesture that goes with it. 

So everyone is going around the circle, introducing themselves as Daring Daniel, Lonely Lauren, and Awesome Alex until we get to Ben. Ben introduces himself as "Surfer Ben."

He misunderstood at least one key element of every game or exercise for the rest of the class. I have no clue how this man functions in daily life. He has since gotten a few featured extra roles on TV, though.

hypatiaspasia

The first time I ever met my future sister-in-law, she asked me: “If you’re Canadian, how come you speak American?” She was 20 at the time. I had a hard time holding my laughter.

Yes, it was a genuine question (I asked her about it later). She's not smart, sarcastic, or witty enough to make a joke like this. She is the living embodiment of the "American" stereotype you'd think of.

sosqueee

I worked with a man named Roy. Roy had theories about how to live life. “Royconomics.” One day, he turned to me and the other crew member.  "You boys wanna know how you get nice things?" he asked. 

"You go to the store, and you finance everything. New furniture, new appliances, televisions, stereos, everything. Then, you don't make any payments or show up for your court date. They'll end up garnishing your wages, but they take way less than the payments would have been!"

Then, about a week later, "You boys wanna know how you buy a house? You apply for every credit card you can get, take out your entire balance in cash from all of them, and use that for your downpayment. Then, you don't make any payments or show up for your court date..."

Toorelad

My ex-husband. We were playing Rock Paper Scissors to decide who had to go change the baby's best two of three. In Round one, I throw scissors, and he throws rocks. “I win!” 

He proclaimed. In round two, I throw paper, and he throws a rock. “I win!” He says again. “Umm, paper beats rock,” I tell him. His response? “No, rock beats everything.”

I spend about 5 minutes trying to wrap my mind around this. Finally, I ask him, “Then...what’s the point of even playing?” In total sincerity, he says, “To have fun!”

CarmelaMachiato

Me. A bunch of guys tried to hijack the car my grandparents (who don't speak English) and I were in while my family was on vacation in Florida. 

This was in a Holiday Inn parking lot, and my parents had returned to get suitcases. The guys said through the half-opened window that we had a flat tire, and we needed to get out to check it.

They abruptly left when my parents came back. I told my parents what happened, and strangely enough, our tires seemed totally fine.

The stupid part is that I was seven years old, and the only reason I didn't open the door and put us all at risk was because I literally didn't know HOW to open the door of a car. 

Like my parents had never shown me, and someone had always done it for me. I was an incredibly stupid kid; in this case, the stupid canceled out and saved my dumb ass.

strictlypersonal

The dumbest person I have ever met was my friend's uncle Franky. Growing up, my buddy and I worked in his father's insurance office during the summers. 

One day, Uncle Franky comes in to use a computer so he could compose an email. It was the first time this was in 2009. 

As he tried to add the @ symbol in the recipient's name, he asked where he could find it. I told him to hold down the shift button and press the number 2 key simultaneously. 

He turned his head, and with a puzzled look in his eyes, he asked me, "Wouldn't that be a capital 2?"

Jimmy6Times

I was lifeguarding at a frat party. My lifeguard friends all told me not to lifeguard for this frat, but I had my certifications freshly renewed, and they were paying really, really well, so I took on the challenge.

Would not recommend it. There was a very drunk guy who offered me a drink when I was standing. I said no (I was guarding the water). Afterward, this same guy gets a full beer, not even open, bashes it against his head, and screams, "Whoooo!"

He is bleeding from his head now and recognizes it, is shocked for a second, and then it hypes him up even more. He then dives head-first into the dirty 6-foot pool filled with people. 

This water is shallow. He literally could've paralyzed himself. I blow a whistle at everything he is doing, and when he gets out, he can't understand why I am frustrated and tries to flirt with me. 

Mid-sentence, he recognizes he lost his Ray Bans (stupid expensive shades) in the murky water and asks me to drain the pool.

This dude was just such an idiot and acted stupidly the entire 3 hours while his even more stupid friends hyped him up.

[deleted]

I knew this guy in high school who was a huge idiot. The best story about his stupidity happened when he and another friend got pulled over by the cops. 

Instead of acting like a normal person, he gets the hilarious idea to step out of the car and proceed to run down the block as fast as he can. 

The cops, of course, chase right after him, not amused at all. He gets a couple of blocks away and decides to turn around, put his hands up in the air, and scream, "Psych!" 

The cops, of course, did not find any humor in this situation and tackled him to the ground and arrested him. Keep in mind this was before YouTube prank videos, so he wasn't doing it to gain subscribers or anything. He did it because he was a moron.

-eDgAR-

This rich girl sometimes hung out with my friend group in my high school. One day, we all had off-campus lunch (blended classes), and we decided to hang with her. 

We tell her to meet us at the library. We figured since we were all at the school, we would be meeting at the library at our school. So we waited for several minutes, and then she finally texted us, “Where are you guys?” We replied, “At the library. Where the fudge are you?” 

“I am at the library!” She drove to the library in our town. It's not the best example of her stupidity, but I remember that the most. She has had several other cases of extreme stupidity, though.

unvillian

I used to manage a restaurant, and there was this girl, Emily, who was legendarily dumb. I have a thousand stories about her, but my favorite involves Subway. 

So one day, Emily comes into my office complaining of a hangover while toting a sub from Subway and going on about how it is the only cure for a hangover, etc. 

Anyway, I asked her what kind of sub she got, to which she replied, "Pickle, cucumber, and mayo." I say, "So you spent $10 on a cucumber and mayonnaise sandwich?" And she says, "No! It has pickles on it, too!" 

I then say, "Pickles are just vinegar-soaked cucumbers, so it's basically just a cucumber and mayo sandwich." Her mouth drops! "No way!?" She exclaims. 

I then had to explain the basics of pickling to her. When I asked her where she thought pickles came from, she replied, "The ocean?" I miss that girl.

Kernalburger