“Thank You, Next!” Most Ridiculous Reasons For Employees Being Fired

Letting an employee go is not a piece of cake. Of course, employers always wish that the ones they hire are already the best among the rest. But when the chemistry is not right, it leaves them with no choice. Not only the chemistry, but it involves the crazy and creepy factor.

These Redditors share the most ridiculous reasons for employees being fired from work. It may be hard to choose from these what is the weirdest because every story is a catch. Take a look at these!

1. Corporate Housing With A Live Show

Our company had a corporate apartment we mostly used for out-of-town clients when they came for meetings. I usually handled the maintenance of it: monitoring the cleaning service, setting up fresh flowers, fruit baskets, etc. for whenever it was going to be used.

Eventually, I got promoted and assigned those duties to my new assistant. One day she called in sick, so when I found out a client was in town at the last minute I offered him the apartment for the night, and met him there to show him where everything was since he'd never stayed there before.

Imagine our surprise when I opened the front door to find my assistant and her boyfriend engaging in a little friendly game of carnal activity on the living room carpet. After I slammed the door shut and hurriedly got him in a cab to a hotel.

I went back to work and listened to my voicemail. She had called to apologize for having lied about being sick. No apologies about the live show we'd just witnessed. just "Sorry, I wasn't really sick, I just wanted a day off.” That was the first of many days off for her.

Miss_trixie

I am a Nurse. It was my first job was in a nursing home. One resident told me there was a devil in the window and it kept scaring her. I thought it was about dementia. I walked into the room just as a person in a devil mask slammed against the window.

I ran outside and tackled them and pulled off the mask a la Scooby Doo. It was one of the CNAs. He thought that giving her a heart attack would be fair retribution for her being a little cranky when he took vital signs. I fired him on the spot even though I didn't have the authority to do so. It stuck.

Mirandapd

My sister had to fire my aunt. She got her a job at a call center for a cable provider. She helped her get back on her feet. All of a sudden, my aunt decided she didn't want to work for a few days.

My sister was cautious about why, but then my aunt called in and said her husband passed away. My sister found out when co-workers were pooling money to send flowers. It did not end well. My uncle never knew he passed away!

Mjw04

I was a manager at a sandwich store. We had a special 17-year-old kid who we paid to just clean the tables. Nice enough kid but he had one slight problem, he would sneak away during the shift and pleasure himself in the bathroom.

One night we had some friends of co-workers in to eat and one of them walked into this kid in action. He was sitting naked on the floor, going to town on himself. So he freaks out runs up and tells me. We all have a nice laugh about it. I was probably 20 or 21 at the time and found this quite hilarious.

After we had a good laugh about it, I told him we were lucky it was someone our co-workers knew, because he could potentially be in a lot of trouble. He said he understood and promised never to do it again.

Fast-forward to a week later. It's the lunch shift on a Sunday. We are slammed with deliveries and in-shop customers when I hear a very irate woman yelling "I need a manager.” She explained to me how her 15-year-old son just walked into the bathroom and saw one of our employees naked and doing nasty business.

As if there is any question about who it is, I start apologizing profusely. Once the kid got dressed and came out of the bathroom she saw that he was handicapped she lightened up quite a bit. I don't even remember all the things she was yelling at me but, as you can imagine she was pretty hot.

I gave her 115 dollars worth of gift certificates as well as the home number to the franchise owner since the kid got hired because his parents went to church with the owner. After I got the lady and her kid dealt with I called the kid's Mom and told him he couldn't work there anymore.

She was furious and just told me the locks on the doors must be confusing to him and to teach him how to use them. So I said, "Why don't you just teach him how to not do that in public?".

Badaboombip

I used to manage a liquor store. The weirdest firing I ever had to do was also the fastest. We hired a rather rotund young man to be an evening clerk. Being a portly fellow myself, I saw no reason he couldn't manage the stocking and other physical parts of the job as well as I did. He didn't share that opinion.

I knew there was going to be trouble when he started his first day by trying to tell me what to do. And I mean within the first few minutes of his shift. When I asked him why he thought he was in charge, he explained that since he was older than me, I should do what he said. I was 22 at the time. He was 23.

After explaining to him that the person with three years of experience and the position of manager does get to tell the new hire how to do his job, I proceeded to list out his duties, then asked him to restock our coolers. These were about nine doors wide, with a walk-in refrigerated area behind.

Thirty minutes into what should have been a ten-minute job, I went to see how he was doing. I discovered that not only had he not stocked any beer, he had rearranged the cases into a makeshift chair, complete with a back and arms, and was just sitting in the 33-degree cooler like he was the Cold Miser in a Christmas special.  

When I asked what the heck he was doing, he explained that he needed to rest because he was tired from moving all the beer cases. The ones he had rearranged to make a beer throne.

I called the owner, explained I thought I'd be better off finishing the shift on my own, and gave the Lord of the Cooler his walking papers. To this day, he's still the most horrible employee I've ever had, or seen.

Woodrobin

It was one awful case in the workplace. We had this one worker who was so playful towards another employee. He thinks everything he does will make his colleagues happy.

But he took his antics to another level. He took pictures of another co-worker pooping and posted them on his social media account. The pooper wanted to press charges of harassment. These were guys in their 30s.

Turbie

I worked at a game store in high school. I was promoted to night manager. The first thing my boss had me do was call my grandparents to fire them. "Grandpa, I have to fire you and grandma."

His reply was, "I love you and I understand why this is happening. Tell your crappy boss that I'll be in to work tomorrow and he can fire me himself." It was the first time I ever heard him cuss.

SuburbanSuperhero

I witnessed an amazing termination. I work for a staffing agency with two different divisions, one industrial temporary and one more managerial level. I was in the middle of interviewing a guy who had just walked in claiming to have been laid off from a company the industrial temporary side works with.

During the interview, one of my coworkers from the temporary side walked through and screamed "Ray! We fired you this morning! Get out of the building!" The day before the guy pulled a knife on his boss, and his boss defended himself with a piece of lead pipe.

They kept fighting and ran into the parking lot going at each other until quite a crowd formed. No one was seriously hurt, but you can't just try to knife people in the parking lot. When I asked him why he pulled a knife he said it was because his new boss was "acting like he was better than me when I'm twice his age."

PattiLuPWNed

One of our mid-level field consultants (father of 2, well-educated and decent guy) got a pretty poor customer survey sent in from the CEO of one of our large financial clients. This CEO also brings his 2 white labs to the office just about every day.

Fast forward a few days later, the CEO calls us up saying he needs us to come in and review security camera footage. When the aforementioned field consultant was tasked to go back and fix what he didn't fix the first time, he thought it would be great revenge to poop on the CEO's office floor and blame it on the dogs.

The problem was, that the CEO's dogs were being groomed that morning. We had to let him go because of the petty revenge he thought was actually okay to do. He had no regrets.

TrustyChords

She sent us a text that she was skipping her shift to do illegal substances. She then sent us a text immediately afterward that the previous text was meant for someone else and she was resigning.

She had been late or skipped shifts many times before, this was not her first offense. She was a known heavy drinker and had mentioned other illegal substances before. She was not a clever person.

Maxrdt

He didn't exactly get fired, more like not hired. We pick up people from a foundation, a program that finds work for those who otherwise have a hard time getting work. They are paid by Goodwill for I believe two months and then the place they're at decides if they want to hire them or not.

This has led to a series of hilarious trials, but one guy. He was an older guy, probably around 50. This guy didn't live too far so he walked to work every day. One day, as he tells it, a car scared him by driving by fast and too close to where he was walking. He craps his pants.

Instead of going home and changing, or coming into work and using our shower and spare clothes, he took his dirty underwear off and brought them into the kitchen to another employee. He then handed them to said employee and said "Will you wash this for me, if you don't mind?" He had a lot of other issues going on that ended with him not being hired, but this is my favorite on that list.

HundRetter

So the owner took in the wolf on Monday, and she sat everyone down and had a talk about how to care for it. Don't ever go in its cage/stick your hands in there, etc. I didn't work until Tuesday.

I get to work and see this creature. My first thought is, "Holy crap! That looks like a wolf!" But then, using 14-year-old logic, I thought, "There's no way that someone can own a wolf. It must be a cool-looking husky or some breed I've never seen before. They would've told me if I was about to walk into a room with a wolf."

I thought this animal was so cool that I went into the cage to pet it. It was super friendly. So any downtime I had between duties, I would go visit my best buddy. This continued for four days.

On the fourth day, the owner walked in on me in the cage and screamed, "Get out of there! What are you doing?!" I thought she was just upset that I was playing with the dogs and not finding extra work. She then screamed, "Quickly! That thing can bite your face off!" I picked up the pace.

She sat me down in her office and explained that she was hesitant to hire me because of my age and doubted if I would be responsible enough. Then with me being reckless enough to go into a cage with a wolf, that proves it was a mistake to hire me. And then she mentioned the meeting on Monday and how I should've known from that.

The whole time, I was speechless. I was being fired for the first time and I just realized that I had been playing with a wolf for four days in a row and I could have ended any number of times. Since it was already the end of my shift, my mom just picked me up, I didn't say a word, and then I told her about it the next day. The job wasn't that important to try to fight for it to get it back.

EricksA2

I was working at a fast food restaurant at the time and there was this Asian Frank. Well, I called him Frank cause no one could pronounce his real name. He was this overly relaxed type of guy. The following happened.

Frank was working on the Drive-in section. He had to fill the bags. Frank got hungry so he decided to eat a chicken nugget. Now instead of doing this quickly and stealthily, Frank decided to open an already-packed nugget box and take a nugget out.

He did this right in front of the window. So the customer could see Frank was eating his stuff. The manager also noticed so I heard this scream from the back going. "The heck do you think you are doing?!" Frank's reaction was priceless. He had a nugget halfway up his mouth.  

He just stared at the manager. Not angry, not defiant, just this normal deadlock stare. And he bit down. Eating half of the nugget. Still staring at the manager he proceeds to chew agonizingly slow while putting the other half of the nugget back into the box and closing it.

He then, still staring at the manager, puts the box into the customer's bag. And that was Frank's career at the fast food restaurant.

Lost_my_clothes

I work at a restaurant. Well. We recently had a new dishwasher start working that everyone thought was a little bit off. He'd say strange things, and blink a lot when he spoke. Not like regular blinking, very forceful blinking.

Almost like he scrunched his face up every time. Anyways, that's just a detail, it's actually not relevant. So he ends up staying later at work than anyone else, you know, doing clean up and the like.

Our establishment, like most places, has an accountant. Well, one night she was trying to remotely access the computers at the office at work, minding her own business, doing maths and all that when someone started closing her tabs. She keeps trying to reopen them, only to have them closed down again.

Then the explicit content starts popping up. Not just one site. This guy is accessing a buttload of explicit content sites on the computer at work, thinking no one can see what he's doing, which, to be fair, you wouldn't normally think about.

Anyways, she calls the boss, who then calls the restaurant. Of course, the guy doesn't pick up. Boss keeps calling, and eventually, the dude answers the phone.

Does he politely answer and say that we are closed? No, of course not. He yells "Shut off" and slams the phone back down. So he can resume his so rudely interrupted business, no doubt.

Anyways, the last we heard was that his keys were promptly taken from him the next day he showed up for work.

ThisIsSoMessedUp

Not a boss, but I am in charge of training and performance reviews after a probationary period. Over 5 years, the top 3 outrageous reasons that come to mind: One man we had hired could not make it to the bathroom in time so he used the garbage chute to relieve himself.

After that unfortunate incident, another employee hollowed out a cantaloupe and merged it with a cucumber to make a fruit-and-veggie bong and take it up in the cooler. We didn’t take that lightly.

One woman we hired would disappear for hours on end for "medical reasons" but always stay to make up for the time missed so initially didn't question it. Then we found out through the police she was a carnal worker and would use the store as a pickup and drop-off point for conducting business.

MeRyEh

I wasn't a boss at the time but I had a co-worker who decided to leave work in the middle of the day and decided to pick up his friend. Well, he didn’t get back right away after he left.

About an hour goes by and the store gets a call; it was my co-worker, he had to explain to management that he was in the back of a cop car for drag-racing. The funny part is management had no idea he had left.

[deleted]

When I managed an adult theater which is also an adult toy store, I had to sit down with an employee and go over surveillance footage of him stealing an adult toy for men and using it to tow himself in my stock room.

He was doing that for a while before he was caught in the act. I then handed him his final check, minus the cost of the damaged product. The most awkward and entertaining termination I ever had to conduct.

SofaKingSwayze

An ungodly amount of explicit content. Like enough explicit content to make someone blush. His computer crashed, so he took it to our IT people, and the hidden explicit content mountain was discovered. It turned out that he was watching it at work.

I still have no idea how it was possible since we have "open" cubicles where you can easily see everyone's workstations. It's a shame because he was good at his job and a super nice guy to boot. On top of it all, his wife left him shortly thereafter. At least he had the explicit content, I guess.

This happened at a very, very large corporation on a company-issued computer and hard drive. Every time you boot up your PC a splash screen pops up with all of the crap you can't do on it, and it says explicitly that you cannot look at explicit material or you face immediate termination.

It's also an at-will employer, so cause isn't necessarily even needed. Ethical and potential legal issues aside. Everybody knows that you just can't pull that crap on a company computer.

And even though I had to sign off on the paperwork to fire him, it was HR that drove the whole process since they own enforcing the policy. Even if I wanted to retain him, there was no way it was going to happen.

And the whole process from my end from the point when I found out what happened until security escorted him out was about an hour. Maybe the strangest hour of my life.

Penrose_exit

When I was 17, I worked at a fast-food restaurant and one night one of my coworkers had a really bad asthma attack in the back room. The manager insisted that no one call for an ambulance because the company would be liable.

After about 10 minutes of this girl gasping for breath on the floor, I picked her up and took her to the ER where they gave her a shot of something to fix it. When I got back to work they fired me for leaving during my shift. I didn't even fight it that was the worst job I've ever had.

CHollman82

I'm an art director and had to hire an assistant. She had an impressive portfolio and a decent (but not overly incredible) résumé, and when I called her references, they sang her praises. HR seemed to think that was enough and approved her for the position.

About a month later, I was smoking a cigarette with a guy from IT and he said how funny it was that my assistant constantly Googled "How to use Adobe Illustrator.” I thought it was a joke.

So, I went to her desk and told her to save the page as a PDF, and she just froze and started trembling. Excuses, excuses, excuses, I walked away. Sure enough, I got a PDF five minutes later.

I found her portfolio and did a reverse image search. Every last image was stolen. I called back one of the references and the number was "not in service.” I contacted HR, and they did a background check.

It turns out she had just gotten out of prison for felony identity theft. She also had two gross misdemeanors for theft. She had never been a graphic designer and never even went to college.

kjoeleskapet

I have a lot of stories. I don’t even know where to start. The first one is a guy claiming our Mexican store manager planted a fake $20 in his drawer because he wanted to give his job to another Mexican.

Another one is an employee left my energy drink out in my office and came back to it spiked with cheap vodka. It tasted drastically different and sharp when I came back. The only other guy in the store stunk like that same cheap vodka.

The third one is that the girl never showed up to open the store because she was on an impromptu road trip with her new "man.” I didn’t know why he even thought that was actually a valid reason.

Another story is the guy was skimming ATM cash backs (selecting cash back on debit and pocketing it, people in that area were so rich that they never noticed). Eventually, he did it to two mall employees and refused to give them receipts and got canned. He got caught over $20. He said on his way out the door that he had made $6,000.

A man standard lied on his application about a felony. When his girlfriend didn't lie for him (he gave her number as his parole officer when he got called out). He hurt her badly and brought her in to show me "what I caused" to happen when he came for his final check.

We got cited by the health department because Customers reported "rotting food". He was homeless apparently but he had a shower in his hotel room and I'd given him money for deodorant. I tried.

Another guy I caught lying about his felony, when we fired him he tried to run me over in the parking lot. That's all I can remember offhand.

Temptress75519

I had to fire a guy less than a week after he started. I don’t think he knows what he must be doing. This was back in the late 90s and his main task was he was supposed to be writing some HTML.

Instead, he took apart the desktop we gave him, laid out all the parts, and started airblowing them, day after day. I don't remember all of it, but that Friday was the day my boss taught me how to fire someone.

Ayb

Not my story, but when my dad was in charge of HR for this company, he had to fire an employee for asking another employee if she shaved her female organ. It was the weirdest thing he had ever got to do.

Apparently, the female employee was sitting in the break room when the man just sauntered in there, sat next to her for a minute or so, and then popped the question. When their supervisor came to report it to him, my Dad almost fell out of his chair laughing.

rrshima03

I had a new employee I had trained for about a week straight (We'll call him Bob). His first day came around and it was time for his shift, no bob. I tried to call Bob, no answer. Thirty minutes later still no Bob.

Finally, an hour and a half later he calls the shop. His excuse "My mom wanted to take me shopping and said you would understand. I'll be there in thirty minutes.” My retort "Oh no rush, turn in your apron and name badge whenever" clicked.  

He had been late on one of his training days and I had already told him not to do it again. I probably should have mentioned that.

Cithog

We had a guy at one of the bases I went to get medically discharged (psychological problems) for bouncing an imaginary basketball all the time. And I mean all. Sitting in the break room? Dribbling it. Walking to his vehicle? Bouncing it with him. On the computer? Yup.

They even had someone "spy" on him when he was home alone. Sure enough, he was dribbling that imaginary ball. So long story short, he ended up getting medically retired. On his last day, he shot the ball into the trash can and said, "Guess I don't need that anymore." The dude was faking the whole time, for almost two years, just to get med-boarded and get out.

Loafjunky

This happened to a friend of mine. At a coffee shop here a guy, let's call him MS, he got hired online. He shows up to work in a monkey suit. A monkey suit like this. For the first little bit, because coffee shops are pretty chill places, management tolerated it as a joke.

But as the day wore on and MS worked in the back with ingredients, paninis, and the laughter of customers ringing in his ears, management decided to talk to him about it. "You gotta take the monkey suit off, MS,” he replied, I can't."

Then they asked him "Why not?" He responded, "Because I lost a bet, I gotta wear the monkey suit all summer." It was the middle of summer. He was then asked one more time, "What do you mean, you lost a bet?" He responded, "I lost an important bet, now I have to wear the monkey suit for the entire summer."

Then, the management made him choose, "Okay MS, I'm going to make it easy for you. It's either the monkey suit or the job" But he was stubborn, "Sorry man, I gotta wear the monkey suit." And he leaves. Hopscotching along the street, sweating in his monkey suit. Something like the dog in Wilfred.

Verbal__Kint

Well, this is far from all these explicit content-related stories. A girl at a gas station got fired for stealing a sausage biscuit. She went to the bathroom to eat it and tried flushing the evidence.

She ended up stopping at the toilet with the biscuit and plastic wrapper. The manager comes in to find the employee freaking out with an overflowing toilet with biscuit pieces all over the floor. It was only her 3rd day there.

[deleted]

It didn't happen to me, but this guy who managed a drugstore got fired for stopping a robbery. He was in the back of the store doing inventory and someone came in and tried robbing the counter, and held the cashier at gunpoint.

He came out, got the robber's attention off the cashier and pulled his concealed pistol out, told the guy to drop his gun and get on the ground. The robber took a shot at him, missed, and the manager returned fire and hit the guy. The guy survived and went to jail for strong-armed robbery.

The manager was fired shooting back at the guy. He has a concealed pistol license and the drugstore lets him carry it, but the store policy is to give the robbers the money and get them out of the store then call the police. I think the guy deserves a medal, not getting fired.

E2thajay

I had an employee once who was out of control. Honestly, the things he did were so beyond belief, you would not believe half of them. The final straw was a complaint filed by a coworker, in which he described the individual wearing nothing but a pair of leather cowboy boots with two hair dryers pointed at his head as if he was trying to end himself from both sides.

His case for workplace harassment is currently before a Canadian tribunal and can be found on the internet. The claims by some of my other employees can be found online. Well obviously in poor taste hilarious.

Steboy

I managed a comedy club and off-broadway theater in Times Square for two years. If you've ever walked around Times Square, you were probably bugged by strangers about buying comedy tickets.

These salesmen all worked for us (all of them, even though they seemed like competitors). They worked for dirt cheap, and we often hired homeless people because they put up with the low pay. Needless to say, this came with a lot of issues.

 During the day I managed the ticket salesmen and during the night I ran the theater. One day I caught one of them bringing a customer in to buy a ticket. He then brought the customer back into the comedy showrooms and didn't come out for 20 minutes or so.

I went back to see what was up and walked in on the customer sniffing and licking something off the disgusting floor and the salesman laughing his head off. It seemed to be an illegal substance or some other such thing (I have very little experience in that field). Needless to say, I (a 22-year-old kid running a bunch of middle-aged psychos for a living) had an interesting time dealing with that situation professionally.

Xizorkatarn

I have two stories. The first one is I worked loss prevention for a large retailer and while on duty checking the camera I caught the kid in the photo studio section of the store towing himself in the back. Poor kid was red-faced when we showed him the video.

The second story was I had a sales representative complain his computer was slow. We had IT check into it and turns out he had a huge history of explicit sites. His excuse? They were linked from car show websites so he clicked on it "by mistake.” Yup, all 145 click mistakes.

Hozay09

My friend just told me a story last week about this new guy who showed up at work. The boss immediately recognized the guy's face, but couldn't tell where he had seen it before.

Turns out the boss had recently browsed a Crime Law site and seen this guy's picture on there. He was going to fire him when he came in for his next shift (he didn't disclose that he was convicted of a felony on his application), but he never showed up for work again.

Outofstep7

This was back in 2007 and I was a manager for a retail store in charge of the bread meat, and produce departments. I had just relocated from Boston to Atlanta and it was maybe my second week there. Before I moved people were telling me about all types of stereotypes and how horrible the South was.

It's a really slow evening and I go back to the bread section to do temperature checks on the food. I don't see anyone there so I go into the washroom and two black employees are eating fried chicken, and collard greens and they cracked open a watermelon and were eating it.

I fired both of them but on the termination paperwork I made sure to put "Reason: Theft of chicken, watermelon, and collard greens.” After 5 years in the South, I learned that stereotypes are alive and well for both black and white Southerners.

[deleted]

It wasn't me doing the firing. One of the other supervisors working for this relay company a few years ago fired the absolute top-performing employee in the company over a pocket knife.

This kid came in from the deep deep south and moved to Wisconsin. It's a different world in the south. He just didn't know you don't carry a knife to work up here and one of the strict managers saw it. It was one of those dinky multi-tool things.

Instead of doing the right thing, he grabs the knife off the kid's desk, hauls him into the back room, and fires him on the spot. The company folded a few months later after I'd quit for unrelated reasons and I can only imagine the boss ended up out on his ear too.

[deleted]

This is possibly more creepy than weird, but I feel it falls into both categories. I used to be a supervisor at a large national grocery chain, and you know how hard it can be to keep help at those places, so we'd get some real winners.

We hired this one guy, I'd say he’s around 50. He spent all his breaks and lunches in the break room with a notebook in front of him, working on his mathematical formula for solving the lottery. He walked to work and always seemed to be a bit off, so I always tried to at least generally entertain his ideas when I was in the break room with him, and man they were out there.

Being a grocery store, we were also a major employer of underage people. One in particular was a 16-year-old girl named Heather. Heather was a sweet girl, fairly average-looking, who was always quite nice to this guy. One day I was standing behind the registers supervising, when a bagger came up to me and handed me a note, saying, "Uh, this was just given to Heather."

I take a look, and it's a horrible fairly explicit poem signed by this creep. I practically ran up to the manager's office and they called the girl's parents and rang up HR to let them know they were getting the creep out of there today. Heather got called upstairs as well, and we kept her there while escorting the creepy guy off the store grounds.

He proceeded to go through the union and appeal his firing up to the district manager level, and each time they'd just pull out the poem and turn him down. For a while after that, I'd just see him wandering around town, with no idea what he was up to now.

I suppose it's perhaps not supposed to be funny, but the first few words of the poem make me giggle every time I think about them, "Heather, Heather, dressed in leather."

True_sage

This guy was sent to New York from Canada for a training session for 4 days. All techs get a wireless internet stick for company emails and software manuals. This guy while in training used the stick to keep up to date with emails. When he got back to his hotel room, He would download movies using the hotel wireless network, or so he thought.

Fast forward three weeks when our Canadian District Manager gets a call from the accounts payable VP saying, "Derp Derpingson's internet stick bill is $16000. It says there is more than 2GB of Data and Roaming charges. "

Derp Derpingson didn't notice his internet stick was plugged in the whole time he was downloading his movies. Every MB costs like $8. The DM was going to let it slide, but, when it came to light that said movies were all explicit, Derpingson got an Instant pink slip. All new hires hear about this story when issued an internet stick.

Terriblestoryteller

I work at a music store that tends to get pretty slow over the summer and often has no real manager working. A couple of years ago some coworkers of mine brought a gaming device and hooked it up to the security camera monitor. They played for a full shift and decided to leave it there overnight, the same night there was a robbery and $40,000 worth of band instruments were stolen.

Anyways the store owner came, and he and the cops turned on the security monitor to find a videogame pause screen, and no footage of the robbery was recorded. Didn't see my coworkers again until they came in to pick up their last cheque and their gaming device.

Loukass

I worked for a very rich old woman who was cruel. She was feared by her entire staff like a Devil-Wears-Prada-type tyrant, minus the talent, plus extreme paranoia, and has-been-beauty bitterness.

I was biking to work one day when I got hit by a truck, resulting in multiple broken bones and knee surgery. During my medical absence, she googled my name (soliciting help with "the online" from another one of my coworkers) and found a song I'd lent my vocals to the previous year.  

Upon my return she informed me that she had found out my secret, she knew that I had faked my accident to tour around the world as a singer. She fired me for lying to her about my "shadow career" after letting me know that she could have been a more popular singer than me if she had ever wanted to.

Fiepie

A female employee at a BBQ restaurant decided to do mushrooms for the first time right before her shift. The dudes that gave them to her told her she would be fine because it felt the same as smoking grass, just a little more intense.

The clientele of this restaurant was mostly elderly people, and she went from table to table, babbling about bright colors. She locked herself in the bathroom for a couple of hours before being sent home.

Iprobablywont

I ended up firing a 52-year-old woman I had working nights. I would come in and there would be a strange smell and I never could figure out what it was. So I put a camera in the back room.

Turns out she was wicked and was drawing pentagrams in bath salts and herbs with 3 of her fellows and lighting small fires with herbs. I didn't let her go because of the wicked belief, but because she was letting strangers in the back room and lighting fires.

MarvinWaters17

When I managed a pool, we had a person who was taking money from the till, but it didn't make any sense, because it was a neighborhood pool and we made like 5.00-20.00 a day because kids could get in free under a lot of circumstances.

Having the money low was just ridiculous. I thought maybe she was drinking on the job. I had to fire lifeguards for coming to work high or hangover. That was not entertaining. I was fired for nearly passing away in a mash tun in a brewery, though it wasn't my fault.

Belindamshort

I used to work for a car rental company, and one of our district managers told us that there was this car dealership that would not pay his "courtesy rental car" bill. We serviced the car dealership for loaners and were getting screwed for about $30,000, so the district manager went up his chain of command.

He got approval for an impossible case of revenge on the service manager who would not come clean on the deal. The higher-ups gave the ok to buy the dealership. They then proceeded to settle the $30,000 tab out of petty cash and proceeded to fire the service manager.

They bought the dealership to settle the debt and fire the guy who was screwing them over. Once that was settled, they sold the dealership and rebalanced the sheets.

SagebrushPoet

Way back in the day (like the 90s) I worked as a manager at a movie theater. The company I worked for owned two movie theaters that were across the street from each other. It was a weird setup but whatever.

The manager at the theater across the street was kind of a pushover. One day he called me up and asked me if I could come over and fire one of his employees for him. He told me that one employee had been threatening another employee for several weeks.

Now back then I was young and didn't give much thought to personal safety. So I agreed to come over and fire the dude. The other manager told the employee to be fired to come see me in the office. I laid it out for the guy very plainly. "Look man, you can't tell other people you're going to hurt them. I'm letting you go. You will get your last check in the mail."

Holy crap! That guy flipped out! He was yelling and spitting in my face. He swore several times on all that was holy that he would come and end me someday. I told him we already called the police (total lie) and he needed to leave. A few months later I found out that he had been picked up by the police for assault.

He ended up being sentenced to prison for several years due to a combination of prior offenses and the latest assault charge. So I kinda dodged a bullet on that one. On a completely unrelated note, I was held at gunpoint a year later for a nightly deposit I was dropping at the bank. That was a fun job.

RitetoSmite

I had to fire a guy who had some kind of mental problem. He kept pulling me aside at work and going on about how he was convinced his girlfriend was hiding her ex-boyfriend in her attic and how he thought this guy would sneak down and "mess around" with her while he slept.

This guy also thought that when the manager offered to get beers with everyone and asked if this guy liked Budweiser. He was making fun of the fact that this guy was Mexican. He was finally fired because he accused one of the assistant managers of making fun of the size of his male organ.

I had known this assistant manager for years and was totally 100% certain this was not true. I pressed for exact words and times when such things were said, and we went to the cameras and found out the guy had been by himself when one of the alleged affronts to his member had been made.

At that point, it became clear that I was going to let him go, and he said something to the effect of "Everyone here is against me, just like at my last job! All making fun of me behind my back! Always about my organ size!". I told the guy I was sorry to let him go, and encouraged him to get some help.

It might sound funny to some of you, but it was just scary and sad. He was a capable guy, but something in his brain wasn't right. It felt like I needed to do something for him, but I had no idea what to do, and I had the store and my other employees to put first. So I just had to turn him to the street with half a paycheck. Never really felt good about that one.

Yooki42

It's not my story to tell, but I will never forget this one. In the early 2000s, my father was a mid-level manager at a large Ohio-based bank and oversaw a department of between 25-30 people.

It wasn't a glamorous job. Mostly involved paperwork that he had to make sure got processed on time. Yet, and I am very proud of him for this, my father took the job quite seriously and worked 7-7 every weekday for nearly 5 years.

Part of these long hours was reviewing all the employee complaints, of which there were a ton. So naturally he had to minus the ridiculous ones and focus on that which he could act upon and resolve. But one after another, over a few months, complaints kept rolling in from the female members of the department about the same male employee.

They all detailed strange encounters and said that more than anything else, they simply felt uncomfortable around their male co-worker. However, each report filed included the same detail: the man always dropped his car keys at some point during the encounter.

Now, this may not seem significant until you know that the male employee I speak of was (and forgive me for my political incorrectness) a midget. After a short investigation into the incidents, my dad found out that the dwarf employee had been approaching women, engaging them in conversation away from other co-workers.

He was snapping quick pictures up their skirts as he pretended to pick up his keys. He had been posting the pics online and was immediately fired. Not 100% sure but I think my dad said the guy ended up doing a short stint in jail and was on the news for carnal harassment in public.

Chapmania