Ted Cruz Tries To Trade Insults With Patton Oswalt — Oops

Don’t try to start a Twitter insult war with a comedian. Just don’t. Every comedian has dealt with hecklers before, and you’re probably not prepared for a back-and-forth. This is especially true if you happen to be Ted Cruz.

Ted Cruz attacks military
[Photo by OLIVIER DOULIERY/POOL/AFP via Getty Images]

It started with actor and comedian Patton Oswalt canceling shows in Utah and Florida at venues that won’t require vaccination for admittance. While the far-right has been railing against what they call ‘vaccine passports,’ in the last few months we’ve seen entertainers get sick after playing large, largely-unvaccinated, venues, so it’s a pretty understandable decision.

Well, understandable to most — but not to Ted Cruz. He shared a news story about the cancelation and attempted a light roast of the actor, suggesting he had such a small fan base that his decision didn’t hurt any feelings.

Now, a lot of people (more than two, even) came out to defend Oswalt, pointing out things like the number of Twitter followers he has, or that those “two fans” bought out two fully-booked shows at the Kennedy Center, or that Cruz is trolling on Twitter while his state suffers a lack of ICU beds for its COVID-19 patients.

But they didn’t need to — because Oswalt was more than ready to return the favor.

And yes, he hit all the highlights: Cruz’s Cancun escape while his constituents suffered in Texas without electricity, the Texas Republican’s apparent insomnia, his 2017 ‘like’ of a porn tweet, and even his beard.

As for Cruz, we don’t know whether he decided to get some sleep, or if he just gave up, but he hasn’t responded to any of Oswalt’s tweets.

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