Once in our life, we experienced being unreasonable over the most foolish reasons. We raise our pride or even use our fists to prove our point.
Sometimes these silly fights just lead into small arguments, but there are times when they can cause chaos in a relationship.
These stories will make you question why some people choose to raise the stakes over petty situations. Come and check out these stories that you might relate to!
1. Beer Pong Showdown
When I was 19, I got myself kicked over a game of beer pong. These guys in my friend's apartment complex were having a party so we went. I'm not great at beer pong, but I was hot that night.
I won like 5 games against the bros living there. On the last game, the douche threw a beer at me, then I retaliated by throwing a pitcher at him.
Then all his friends jumped me and punched me. I had cuts all over my face and a black eye. Jokes on them, though. I knew where they lived, and they didn't know me.
Their second-floor balcony was easy to climb up on, so I took a dump on it five times over the next year.
pbjames23
2. Milkshake Meltdown
A few years ago, for a part-time job, I was offered the position of being a mascot of sorts for a dairy company. I had to dress as a milkshake and walk around public areas to promote the product. It paid well.
At one of the events I worked at, a disgruntled customer decided to manifest his annoyance with the company by running into me, repeatedly, in his mobility scooter.
After picking myself up off of the floor, or rather, rolling onto my stomach, disoriented, and finally standing up, I managed to pour what remaining milkshake I had all over his head. I was rewarded with a resounding applause from the many spectators.
Miraclespawn
3. The Great Paper Toilet Hunt
Before my brother left for college, he started doing this thing where he would never replace the toilet paper roll if he used the last of it. It was never really a huge problem, but it did start to bug me.
I got to the point where I would take the empty roll, throw it in his room, and just get a new one.
He didn't like me throwing the trash into his room so he would take the new roll I put in the bathroom and hide it in his room.
And every time I had to go to the bathroom, I'd first go through his room until I found the toilet paper. Oh, and we never once spoke a single word about it.
KingTheoden
4. A Radio-Triggered Breakup Story
My girlfriend of about a year and I lived together and had a pretty good relationship overall. One day, we were getting my car out of the garage and I guess I had the radio up pretty loud the night before, but it was on satellite.
It didn't start blaring until I got out of the garage. So when it does she starts pawing at the radio in a panic. Like a puppy would do. It was kinda hilarious.
I calmly turn the radio down and tell her to calm down and stop hitting the radio while trying to grab her hands very gently. She flips out about how "I guess I'm not allowed to touch your radio!" and stops talking to me.
We were heading to her parent's house, so it only got more awkward. That part pisses me off, so then we're both not talking on the way home. A huge blowout ensues when we get home, but it's 100% about this radio incident.
We didn't bring up anything else. She then calmly walks into my room, logs into her social media account, and types up a message. It was to me, and she was breaking up with me, over her social media account. With me in the other room.
She moved out within the next week. It sucked then, but in hindsight, if she would have left over that, good riddance.
fonetik
5. Street Fight And Vacuum Flight
I was 12, living in a poor area. There we two decent-sized houses with a common backyard that we shared (obviously I lived in one and another family in the other).
It was trash day. The next-door neighbor's kid who is about a year older than I am, starts to pick on me. He had always picked on me since I had moved in, and this day he was looking for a fight.
He kept grabbing my shirt and telling me to punch him, pushing me around, calling me all sorts of names. My mom wasn't home, and it was a Saturday, so if I went inside, he still would've bothered me by throwing rocks at my house.
I didn't want to fight so I went inside to get a drink, and for some reason went back outside. As I went outside I took a glance at the clock, 3:30 pm.
I got back outside and the kid is still there. He knocks my drink out of my hand and starts berating me again. I took it for another 10 minutes until I finally had enough.
I punched him square in the neck and he dropped to the ground gasping for air. another neighborhood kid was there and he jumped in, but I was already turned around about to leave.
I hear the guy call my name after about 5 steps and I turn around to see him heaving a vacuum at me from about 10 yards away.
I don't remember it striking me, but I woke up lying next to my house with a giant gash 3 inches from my eye and a swollen right face 2 hours later.
Bejezus
6. Battle Of Bravado
My kids love this story. A buddy of mine and I were fresh out of Marine Corps boot camp and assigned to Camp Pendleton. We went to Oceanside to a bar and saw two lovely ladies.
Being 19 (I'm old. The drinking age was lower before) and full of ourselves, we proceeded to tell the ladies that they had the luck to be with us tonight. Yes, we were those guys.
They told us thanks but no thanks. Then their boyfriends showed up. We went directly into bantam rooster mode to fight them for the right to take home their ladies. Yes, I know how dumb that sounds.
The two guys were fairly small but sturdy. Plus they kept saying things like, "Guys, let's not do this." but we did anyway. We threw the first punches but none of them landed.
These guys messed our worlds up. We kept getting up and shut back down. With pain. After finally realizing we were injured, the two guys helped us to our feet, offered to buy us drinks and we slinked away like the losers we were.
Turns out they were navy seals on leave. That was the last time I started a fight with anyone and that was 27 years ago.
Edrondol
7. Battle of Ideas: Death Star vs. Sandwich Shop
I have two stories. The first one is one time in junior high a friend and I came to physical violence over the optimal shape of the death star.
The second one, in junior high in my programming class, we had to make a "virtual mall" program where people could shop, and it required a food court.
My partner wanted it to be in a sandwich shop and I was having none of it. Again, came to physical violence. The group dissolved, and we had to spend the rest of the year flying solo on all our projects.
firemogle
8. The Eclair Incident
My husband and I both get grumpy when we're hungry. I once popped into a convenience store for something unrelated and decided to purchase their last eclair to split with my husband.
When I got back to the car my husband was pissed because I only got one item, assuming it was just for me.
When I insisted it was to share he didn't believe me, and that I should've gotten two eclairs or no eclairs. I got so frustrated that I threw the eclair against the windshield.
Then we both had a moment of clarity and laughed at what had just transpired. It is now known as The Eclair Incident.
[deleted]
9. Fist And Flicks
Not my fight, but I was at a party my senior year of high school getting drunk with friends and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (Kevin Costner) was on the TV in the basement.
Two of my friends had been getting drunk and fighting a lot lately for no particular reason. One of them was watching the movie on the couch by me when the other one came down the stairs when this exchange took place, verbatim.
One of my friends said, “This movie sucks!” Then my other friend responded to him by cussing him out.
They then proceeded to throw punches and wrestle around the basement, knocking one girl into a Christmas tree that broke a window and accidentally punching another girl. I was on the couch laughing the whole time.
[deleted]
10. Fisticuffs For Art
I was in seventh grade, in a choir class before it started. A larger kid named Donny, and by larger I mean he was significantly so, sort of a Grimer/Muk of the middle grades. About as tall as I am, which is no easy feat.
I always carried a sketchpad with me. On this fateful day, Don decided to take it from me and systematically laugh and different sketches of mine.
They were all nerdy; Pokemon or Dragonball Z, possibly even flowers or plants.
Long story short he didn't give it back so I punched him in the lower area and grabbed my sketchbook. Hit him again just for good measure. I was suspended for three days.
organic_alchemy
11. Taint Tag Tales
My girlfriend (now wife) and I came up with this game called Taint Tag. The rules were simple: if you managed to touch the other person's crotch and yell "Point!" You have a point. We only played it on the weekends.
Outside of the house, poking the groin through clothing counts. Inside the house, you have to touch the actual private parts. Blankets and beds are safe areas. No tag-backs for 15 minutes.
The person with the most points at the end of the weekend wins. Very fun and silly, because it's a game you forget about easily.
We'd be walking around a mall, where all of a sudden one of us would reach over, poke the other in the crotch, and yell "Point!".
Anyway, one day I got the brilliant idea to add a rule, if you manage to tag someone while they are peeing, you automatically win for the weekend. Hilarious. My girlfriend readily agreed.
Fast forward a couple of weeks. I'd completely forgotten about this new rule. We'd been playing as usual. Then, one fateful Saturday, I went to the bathroom and for some reason left the bathroom door unlocked.
I'm mid-stream, and my girlfriend barges in, literally jumps for my crotch, tags it, and yells "POINT!" To say it startled me was an understatement. Imagine standing there, peeing, and someone barges in and touches your junk.
I jump. Pee goes everywhere. I flip out and yell "What the heck" and other colorful language like I've never yelled before. She's in shock at my reaction. I was filled with shock-induced rage.
She was angry at my reaction since I was the one who introduced the rule in the first place. We didn't speak to each other for the better part of that day.
It all turned out well in the end. We eventually got married, and are still beyond happy with each other. But that was the worst and silliest fight we'd ever had. We still play taint tag now and then.
TaintTagRage
12. Mic Drop Moment
I went to karaoke one night at my local dive. Late in the night, a guy gets up to do Kelly Clarkson. He ducked it all up and mumbled the entire song. He walks back to the bar, defeated.
A guy on the other side of me says something along the lines of, "Well that sucked." The singer thought I said it and proceeds to call me a fag for 15 minutes.
I ignore it to the best of my ability but a man can only be relentlessly name-called for so long. I finally told him to back off and I guess that was what he was waiting for and he stood up to fight.
I stand up and motion to the bartender that the shot is about to go down. He swings, I block (he's hammered, I'm slightly buzzed) I swing back and follow him to the floor.
I get a few good shots on him and the fight gets broken up. The guy's eye is already swollen shut and dripping blood.
The best part is that he gets kicked out and I get to stay. The bartender even buys my wife and me a round of drinks. Apparently, the guy starts fights all the time.
[deleted]
13. The Pants Thief
I'm 6'5", 250 lbs. I was trying to make my way through a packed nightclub years ago, I shoved some girl accidentally. She didn't fall or anything, just got shoved a little.
Her tiny little boyfriend decided he was going to kick me, and of course, he "knew karate.” I couldn't help but laugh out loud, which only angered him more.
Then I tried to explain to him that I had about 100 lbs on him that there was no way in hell he could even hurt me, that this was nothing to fight about, and that it's better to just let it go instead of getting seriously injured out of pride.
So he punched me in the face. I grabbed both his arms and punched him with his fists yelling "Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?". Then I stole his pants.
Achalemoipas
14. From Kicked Can To Wrestling Pin
I was outside waiting for soccer practice when I accidentally kicked over a can of soda. The owner had serious ADHD and started freaking out. He lunges at me and tries to tackle me.
He must have forgotten I was a state champion wrestler. I chuck him to the ground, pin him in place, and try to calm him down "Dude, it was just a soda."
Coach comes over and we have to run 40 laps around the soccer field for fighting. The kid quits the team at lap 30. He dropped out of high school later that year.
YouveBeenOneUpped
15. When Words Lead To Fist
Years ago I was at a party and as usual drunk and obnoxious. I said something that offended a girl and she confronted me about it. I just remember telling her, "Well then, why don't you just punch me.”
As the last word escaped my mouth, she stepped in like a prize fighter and clocked me with a fist across the chin as hard as I'd ever been punched by a dude.
I didn't go down, but I just stood there slack-jawed wondering what the heck just happened and feeling a bit silly because I had decidedly asked for it.
At that moment, a guy I knew to my left started laughing. This guy was the quintessential prick that everybody wanted to punch anyway.
Being that there was no way I could ever hit a girl (even if she had just clocked me), in the heat of the moment I stepped in on him and popped him in the lower jaw in an upward motion.
He goes stumbling backward, trying to grab nearby people to try and stop his fall (to no avail), and ends up falling butt-first into a small, unlit, built-in fireplace in the living room.
There he becomes stuck, with his arms, legs, and head sticking out. It wasn't only funny because I got what I deserved (I'll admit to being sort of a douche) but because I cannot forget the look on the guy's face while he was stuck.
It was a cross between a desperate plea for help (which nobody wanted to give him because he was such a douche and an "I am gonna end you when I get out of here" anger. Good times.
TheCannon
16. Bar Brawl Craze
I'm 6'5” and 255 pounds and lift weights about 5 times a week. A little while back this short little fella (about 5'2) ran up to me in a bar and punched me as hard as he could in my junk.
I hit the floor like a sack of potatoes and he walked back to his friends, giving them high-five, and laughing. I don't know why he did it, but they stopped laughing when I hit him in the side with a metal bar stool I swung like a baseball bat.
It sent this little dude into the wall and knocked him out cold. After a whole lotta trash talking the police finally showed up, heard the story, and let me go home and took that guy to the hospital.
The EMTs thought I had broken his arm and some ribs. I still wanna know why he thought it was a good idea.
I_Taste_Like_Orange
17. The Fort Fiasco
We had a small party starting/going on at our house during college. One of my roommates decided that he should build a couch fort in one of the main rooms.
We had jokingly discussed having a couch-fort party earlier, but apparently, he wasn't joking. Normally I wouldn't be opposed to them, but you had to walk around it and it took up what limited space we had.
So, I comment on how it should probably be taken down, and this leads to a full-out screaming match mid-party about how I am a buzzkill and how he is an idiot. I get pissed and leave briefly.
I come back, and I bite my tongue about it. I can't remember what started it again (I think a comment by him did) but we resumed our screaming match, but now we are louder and much more vulgar.
I ended up walking away for the night because "you can't beat an idiot who doesn't even make sense" ( my actual quote to another roommate).
Clutch987
18. A Middle School Melee
In 8th grade, my friend had this slight behavioral issue, and one day as a "joke" decided to rip my folders and notebook out of my hand and throw them in the nearby urinal.
I never have (and so far never been) into a fight. However, I was not going to stand for this. Now this is before I blossomed socially and financially and was in a crappy part of my life.
I was the pudgy unpopular poor kid in my school until 9th grade. Anyway, he was also unpopular and poor, but this was right when The Matrix came out so on top of this he always wore a long leather coat to be like Neo.
So there we are, the lowest nerdiest (Did I mention we both were HUGE into Pokemon?) kids having a scuffle. I jumped on his back when he dropped the papers.
He starts screaming bloody murder and runs out of the bathroom with me on his back out of the bathroom and into the cafeteria. I don't know what to do so I just hang on.
He slams me against the wall, I jump off and push him, and he falls onto a lunch table, totally landing on about 3 lunch trays of the popular 9th-grade girls’ table.
He grabs a tray and throws it at me, resulting in mashed potatoes, gravy and I'm sure some veggie landing on my clothes.
After this, the fight gets broken up, and later that day we sit in the back of the study hall comparing and trading Pokemon cards like nothing ever happened.
h1p1n3
19. Gaming Grudge Match
The year was 2007. A video game was set to be released in late September. Being juniors in high school at the time we loaded up on soda and junk food in preparation for the weekend ahead of us.
About 8 of us went over to our friend Jason's house for the festivities (his parents were out of town or something). Luckily our friend Adam brought a 50 feet ethernet cable so we could link our 2 video games from one floor to another.
Needless to say, Adam's dad came to pick him up at midnight (lack of dedication), and he wanted to take the ethernet cord home.
Blurred by the rage of 8-game fuel spiking insulin levels in my body, I started yelling at him without thinking.
He was only a sophomore, but was on the wrestling team and had been wrestling for years. I yelled something about his cauliflower year in rebuttal to him calling out my sister.
And that's when the crap hit the fan. I let the game-fuel monster inside of me take over and we just threw a couple of punches and shoved each other down until we were separated (probably 5 seconds later).
The aftermath was that we'd wedged an entire Christmas wreath into the drywall of this house, and had to repair it the next day. You'd better believe that the ethernet cable stayed at the house though.
Huskers532
20. Sibling Squabbles
I'm the oldest of four kids. At present our ages are 24, 22, 20, and 17. I went home for Christmas and my family and I got into a gigantic argument about who has the right to complain about the 22-year-old.
We screamed at each other for a solid 10 minutes about who gets to complain about who.
Essentially it came down to my mom and I being able to complain about everyone.
The youngest two have to keep their mouths shut because they still cost the family a lot of money. The unfortunate part was that the 22-year-old was not there to witness it. Probably would have made the argument last an hour.
RattleMe
21. A Bar Brawl Turned Comedy Show
A couple of years ago, I headed to my hometown to hang with a buddy at the local bar and have a few brews and shoot the crap.
We get there, much drinking is done and after a couple of hours, he takes off early to go hang with his lady. I run into a guy from high school, so I stay and have a few more, deciding to crash in town for the night.
A group of guys and ladies come stumbling in, having hit the few other bars in town first, and slam down next to me at the bar. After a few more drinks, we all start chatting and much fun is had.
However, I get up to take a leak and, when I return and sit down to resume the conversation, the drunkest of the pack gets in my face for talking to his gal, despite us already sharing words.
So, as these things go, he gets up, I get up and he starts shoving me and trash-talking. I'm drunk enough that I'm just laughing at all of this, not quite sure he isn't messing up with me.
As he continues to yell, he pulls his fist back and goes to punch me and I, to the confusion of all, start to wave my arms as if to say “Hold up,” then sneeze directly into his yelling face.
Everybody just stops and I swear the bar went quiet. His friends burst into laughter, which starts the rest of the patrons, myself included, roaring with everything from knee-slapping laughter to fits of hardly controlled giggles.
The dude looks at me and isn't even angry. He has the look of a dog that just got thwapped with a well-rolled newspaper.
Eventually, he leaves, getting a ride from one of the less-hammered folk, and the rest of the group and I continue to enjoy the evening.
Mr_Grin
22. The Great Soda Debate
The argument spun out of control from the question "What would hurt worse: getting hit with a full 12-ounce can of soda or a full 20-ounce bottle of soda."
I was defending the can, while my friend was defending the bottle. We were 15 years old sitting in these hot springs getting pissed as heck at each other. There was also a third friend who wisely thought we were both retarded.
But seriously, it's so obvious that the can would hurt worse. The crutch of his argument was "Well, what if the cap was the part that hit you?" What a fool.
rifraf262
23. The Time-Out Tango
Back in 5th grade, there was this annoying kid who always hung around with my groups of friends and we all hated him because he was a douche.
But seriously, to hell with this kid, he stole my entire collection of toy cars when I lent them to him, which I had been collecting for a few years by that point.
Anyway, for whatever reason that I can't remember, this kid wanted to fight me after school. I didn't want to bother, but after bugging me enough and not wanting to look like a wuss in front of my friends, I agreed.
So after school, we end up at this park near our houses, the two of us ready to cross punches, and a bunch of our friends and classmates, looking to see a good fight.
Except when we face off and I start swinging, he runs back yelling "Time-out time-out time-out!" I'm kind of confused since you don't call time-out in a real fight, but okay, I let him have it.
He regains his composure and feels ready, so we square off again, and the same thing happens! He runs away yelling time-out while I'm left amused and slightly confused.
This happens a couple more times, so I just give up and leave. I'm not going to fight this kid who calls time-out every time I swing at him.
I wasn't even the one who wanted to fight in the first place. So that was the silliest fight I've ever been in if you can even call it one.
whoadave
24. The Tale Of Technical Troubles
Every fight I ever had with my ex is silly but this stands out. He couldn’t figure out how to hook up the DVD player to our bedroom TV nor would he let me help him do it. He got pissed and went outside to smoke.
While he was outside, I hooked the thing up in about 2 seconds. He came back in, saw what I did, proceeded to scream at me for what felt like an hour, and then didn’t talk to me for two days.
teeneyxb
25. A Chili Chaos
One day my ex calls me on the way home from work and asks me what I want to do for dinner. I told her I didn't care and asked if she could make chili, cause she made good chili.
She told me, “Okay,” but said she needed some canned tomatoes so I told her that's cool I'll pick some up. When I get home she's in the kitchen browning hamburger and banging the pots around like crazy.
I take her the tomatoes and ask what's wrong and she tells me nothing. Right. So she opens the tomatoes and pours them into the pot.
Instead of throwing the cans out flings each of them across the kitchen into the wall, making a mess with leftover juice and little bits in the can.
So at this point, I ask her what is wrong with her and she goes off of how I forced her to make dinner and didn't even ask to take her out or pick something up.
When I bring logic into it and explain all she did was ask me what I wanted for dinner she gets pissed and tells me I should have known by the way she asked that she didn't want to go out.
I believe at this point I told her she was going crazy and we spent the next 30 minutes arguing about that silly reason.
itsme_timd
26. The Karmic Clash
At an outdoor party, I picked a random guy and told him every time I saw him, how he had very bad karma and that it inflicted his surroundings (This was eight years ago). All in a very guru-esque manner.
After a few hours, he couldn't take it anymore and he had clearly fulfilled the prophecy. He attacked me really aggressively and we rolled in the grass punching each other.
ShotgunSurgeon
27. Music Mishap Leads To Zeppelin Showdown
We were at a friend's place one Saturday night. There are a handful of us just sitting around talking and sharing a bong.
In walks a friend of the host I have never met. The new guy (let's call him Jim) seems nice, if a bit dense, but it's all good. We're not talking rocket science.
So, Jim starts talking music. I perk up. I like some of the bands he is mentioning. Until he says that Robert Plant was amazing in Def Leppard.
So I said, "I think you mean Zeppelin," but he's sure he's right. This was before the internet was easily accessible so after a few rounds of yes and no I gave up, and went back to the general conversation.
But Jim won't drop it. Like I've offended his pride or some crap. The dude spent roughly two hours saying he was right.
I finally snapped, stood up, and said, "Fine. I'll prove it." and went to my car where I had one of the Zeppelin albums on CD. He was not impressed.
[deleted]
28. Nacho Nacho Sourcream Showdown
I had a serious fight with an ex over sour cream. We were drunk, and between myself and my girlfriend was a giant plate of nachos and a tiny container of sour cream.
The sour cream ran out, things got serious, there was yelling, and I'm pretty sure one or both of us were on the verge of tears by the time we left the restaurant.
The lesson we learned was to pay the $.50 and get the extra freaking thing of sour cream because apparently, sharing dies in preschool.
Tenored
29. Accusatory Mind-Reader
My (now ex) girlfriend, rather invidiously accused me of having an affair with a woman at work, based on the fact that when she was useless and annoying I complained about her.
When she got herself together and started carrying her weight, I was more complimentary about her (at home, not in the office).
Then when she realized I wasn't and it was all fabricated in her head, she explained how it was my fault that she felt that way and that I needed to go to lengths to not make her feel that way.
Despite her never mentioning it or giving me the slightest hint she felt insecure about it. But she was adamant it was all my fault and that she was justified in thinking I would break her trust.
So the result of the conversation was this; she wanted me to become a genuine mind-reader, to pre-empt her mental hissy fits that led to her accusing me of being completely untrustworthy.
I laughed so much she didn't talk to me for 2 days.
Craspology
30. Fifth-Grader Great Race
I had a silly fight with my best friend in grade 5. We were walking home from school together. I said one way was faster and he said the other was faster. We argued and then split, saying we'd beat each other home.
Obviously, we both ran home on our separate routes and then when he got to his and I got to mine, he called me, saying he was faster. I told him to shut up and hung up on him. We didn't talk for weeks.
chocobro
31. Sibling Rivalry
This was way back in 4th grade. I was the second smallest kid in class. And I used to always get punched by the smallest kid in class who resembled Gollum. Other times it was bullying.
It was different in this case, we were walking home together since our houses were in the same direction. I'm telling him how my brother can punch his brother. He said no, his brother could punch my brother. He socked me in the eye after that.
n3demonic
32. Sweat Treat Turmoil
My best friend and I got into a fight over a chocolate. I told her not to throw mine to me and she did and it exploded on the floor so I told her to give me hers.
She refused so I said "Clean this up!" and stormed upstairs leaving her alone in my house.
Another time we split a box of creme-filled chocolate glaze-covered donuts. We agreed to each have 3 but after I finished my half I snatched her third one and licked the chocolate glaze on top.
She called me a raging wench then ripped the bottom half of it off and shoved it in her mouth. We didn't really speak the rest of the night.
We've been best friends for years and the only legitimate fights we ever have gotten into have been about food. I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing.
asqueakywheel
33. Gaming Grudges
A friend of mine was my roommate in college. We had been playing a video game a bit on and off and he was a bit of a perfectionist and would often feel that his skill build wasn't good enough on his Barbarian and he would make a new one.
One day I walked into his room and saw he had done it again and restarted his Barbarian this was enough for me.
I told him he needed to stop restarting and one little skill being off isn't the end of the world and he was wasting his time! We went a week after that without talking.
Another time with the same friend we wanted to see if we could recreate the first bit or so of a video game in a programming language or something.
We got a little bit into it and he decided that he wanted to do everything in a widescreen aspect ratio and I wanted to preserve everything in the original ratio from another video game.
We didn't speak for a week.
Lespaul42
34. Turing Machine Tussle
We had a silly fight about whether or not I've seen a picture of a Turing machine. Obviously, I haven't seen one yet, but I've seen pictures of Bombes, so I've seen pictures of Turing's machine.
We spent a good ten minutes of me insisting that Turing machines had rotary dials and him telling me that was the stupidest thing ever.
It became a teachable moment for me at that time.
koalapanda
35. How Peeing And Punches Mixed
I was either in 10th, 11th, or 12th grade. I went to what I would consider a ghetto school. Everyone is always trying to be harder than they are.
The bathrooms were filthy, as I am sure most high school bathrooms are. Urine all over the floors.
When I had to use the urinal, I would always arch my pee from like 6 feet away from the urinal so I wasn't standing in urine. I had the huge skater jeans, this was the late 90's.
As I am urinating from so far back, a freshman walks in and gets offended for some reason that I am so far back from the urinal. He talks some crap and I think that's the end of it.
But he's not done, and I wasn't about to stop midstream. He pushes me forward to get me closer to the urinal, I am still urinating. I turn around and get a little urine on him, and I zip.
Then we threw some punches, then I put him in a headlock, and brought him outside of the bathroom to the nearest teacher.
I explain the situation, he gets detention, and I go to my next class. Stuff like that happened all the time.
slipknutz
36. Friction In Frames
My ex-wife freaked the hell out because I went to the framing store to get an estimate on framing some record albums to hang on the family room wall. I was planning to decorate the house with those.
She was dead set against hanging framed record albums on any wall in our house and we got into a huge fight about her controlling all the house decorating and it was the beginning of the end for us.
JohnnyWall
37. A Barroom Legal Showdown
I had an hours-long argument with a friend once at a bar that started light-hearted but became increasingly serious and turned kind of heated and wound up messing up what could have been a great night of bar-hopping.
We were talking about something or other and I said something to the effect of "I guarantee you that you will prefer this over that."
I don't even remember what this or that was, just that I thought something was better than some other thing.
His response was "You shouldn't say that you guarantee. You don't know that for a fact. I could sue you, and win."
So we spent the rest of the night arguing over whether or not I could be held legally liable for saying "I guarantee" when I couldn't ensure the outcome.
It still kind of blows my mind that two grown men spent so much time on such a ridiculous topic. But we were both obstinate and neither of us would let it go.
So we spent at least 3 or 4 hours arguing about it. In the end, it had devolved into "Well to hell with you, buddy. Sue me then. Find one lawyer who will entertain this stupid crap."
Then he responded, "No. to hell with you, jerk. I will sue you. Then we'll see how smart you are." And no, neither of us has any kind of background in law. Which I guess is pretty obvious.
CaptainFeebheart
38. A Drive To Discord
One day I was driving my cousin/best friend, and 2 other friends home after playing some miniature war game.
Partway through the drive, me and my cousin started arguing whether or not the Omnissiah is an aspect of the god-emperor of mankind or a separate god altogether.
Now the argument starts at a normal speech tone and gets progressively louder as we become more infuriated with each other.
The last thing I remember is pulling up to my cousins and shouting, "Now get out of my car you wench!" as they walked away they shouted and started to cuss while flipping me off.
Needless to say, neither side was backing down.
Zerut
39. The Paul From Cheers Saga
A friend of mine and I were new students at our middle school, there was a guy there that we thought looked like Paul from Cheers (a lesser-known bar patron on the show).
So we called him Paul from Cheers. He was already somewhat of a sociopath in the small town we had moved into, without realizing it, we started a war with him and his friends that lasted about 5 years (until the end of high school).
This war involved the occasional physical fight. The only fights I'd ever end up in as a teen. Looking back it was only kind of funny to call him Paul from Cheers.
_rand_mcnally_
40. The Great Canadian Hockey Game Shutdown
Back in the day, my best friend and I were playing two-player video games at the entertainment center. Being Canadian and being a hockey game, we took this game very seriously.
One day, after many many defeats, he finally beat me. However, just before the victory screen came up which showed the winning team on the front page of a newspaper, I shut off the entertainment center.
Blood was shed.
llamalove
41. Courtyard Clash
I was with my friends playing basketball at my school. Now, I lived in a pretty shitty neighborhood. Inner city slums, with things like gangs, carnal workers, illegal substances, and all that littering the street corners.
But we're there, and we're minding our own business. All of a sudden these guys came up to us (I don't know if they were a gang or not, but they looked pretty scary) and demanded that we leave the court.
My friends were kind of nervous, but I wasn't having any of it. My ball, our game, my free country. So their ringleader (I kid you not these guys were dressed like a circus) started whaling on me.
It turned from my fun basketball game into an all-out brawl between us and them. I'm pretty good, but I left with pretty bad wounds and even worse threats.
I didn't mind, but my mom got scared and she sent me to live with my aunt and uncle in the town of Bel-air.
someb0de
42. 50 Cents For A Blue Eye
I was walking out of a supermarket with my friend. I had my snack and whatnot when all of a sudden, this guy approached me and kept on asking for 50 cents.
When I tell him I don't have any cash, I proceed to walk home. I see the same guy running after me talking trash, 2 barrel rolls later. I walked home with a blue eye. He was fighting over 50 cents, not sure what his problem was.
Hamchi
43. The Corny Key Conundrum
One time I was with my dad and my sister at a grocery store. After we are done checking out my dad realizes he doesn't have the keys. So we go back into the store to look for them.
As I remember I ended up finding them in the corn in the produce section. We thought it was funny that one of us left it in the corn.
My sister thinks she did it, and I think I did it. This happened when we were around 7 and 9. We are now 22 and 24 and still fight over who actually put the keys in the corn.
nuclear_thundercane
44. The Armpit Hair Incident
My girlfriend was pulling on my armpit hair. I told her to stop doing that. Instead of stopping, what she did was throw the book she was reading across the room.
She goes crazy. She started kicking and pushing me. I throw her outside the apartment and tell her to come back when she can act like an adult (yes, I see the irony).
I bring her back in and now she's sleeping on the couch.
excavator12
45. Lego Pirate Ship Debacle
When I was a kid I'd sit on the floor in front of the TV, dump all my legos on the floor, and go to town. One day my mom stepped on one of them as she was walking by, flew into a rage, and kicked a massive pirate ship I'd built.
It was a combination of 2 separate pirate ship sets with tons of extra crap tacked on and set up just so, and her reaction was so out of proportion to what was usual in our household that I called her the B-word
She tried to make me gargle soapy water for calling her such a bad name, and I spit it out at her, so she slapped me and I slapped her back. We just glared at each other, and finally, she just stalked off.
Thinking back, nothing was resolved, I was planning on taking the pirate ship apart anyway, and there was no way I was "winning" such an encounter in any possible universe. The fight was stupid, but I feel I acquitted myself.
Riddul