People Share Their 'Absolutely Worth It' Revenge Stories

I worked at a convenience store for about a year. The store was a franchise, which means it was independently owned by a Lebanese guy whose IQ was probably somewhere in the 80s. 

He treated us all like a nobody, and the only person who made more than minimum wage was the clerk he was cheating on his wife with.

This guy never did anything by the book. If he thought it would make him more money, then the law didn't apply. Nobody at the store ever got a lunch. We were barely afforded smoke breaks, and we weren't allowed to eat while on the clock. 

In California, when you work more than 5 hours without a lunch, you're supposed to get paid an extra hour's wages, which counts toward overtime. 

We didn't get that, either. On top of that, when he did payroll, he wouldn't actually go by when you clocked in and out, he went by the schedule he wrote. 

So if you stayed an extra hour or two to help out when it got busy, you'd be working for free, because the hours wouldn't show up. Also, your schedule was subject to change whenever he felt like it. 

There were several times he wrote me up for showing up late because he would change my shift without telling me.

Here's where the trouble starts. 

Whenever we would take expired food off the shelves, we'd come in the next day, and he had printed new expiration dates, pasted them on top of the old ones, and put the food back on the shelves. This happened consistently, the entire time I worked there. Well, one day, I decided that I’d had enough of it. 

I called up the health department and reported him, then emailed corporate and filled them in on what was going on.

Well, word got back to him, and when I went in the next day, I'd received a "complaint", and was promptly fired. I don't know about you, but I've never worked anywhere with a one-strike policy.

Here's the thing, though. Since the day I started there, I'd been keeping records. I had copies of every schedule posted and every paystub I'd ever received. I went to the labor board that day and picked up the paperwork I needed. 

When you don't get lunches, and you don't get paid the extra hour you're supposed to, the labor board can force the employer to pay you the money he owes you in one lump sum. So I filled out the paperwork and turned it in. 

My old boss wasn't so smug when he had to make a check to me for $2600. Right after receiving a hefty fine from the health department.

Now, I'm working to get the labor board to force him to hire me back under the whistleblower clause. If he has to re-hire me, he also has to pay me back lost wages for the past few months. Also, my old co-workers get lunches now.

Was the revenge sweet? It felt awesome! But that's not why I did it. I did it because he was going to keep on exploiting his employees and customers to make a buck, and I felt like unless I did something, he was going to get away with it. 

I simply could not abide by the idea of him suffering no consequences for his actions.

KryptKat

I'm a middle-aged man getting divorced from a middle-aged woman who cheated on me. It's two years after she took off with her 22-year-old karate instructor, and the divorce agreement still isn't final. 

However, about a year in, the divorce agreement had to be signed and all the aspects of it were retroactive. Meaning, immediately upon signing it I was a deadbeat dad with a few thousand owed for child support and over $10,000 owed for alimony. I tried to fight the retroactive stuff, but my lawyer didn't see a way to stop it.

So my ex put a lien on our jointly-owned house. And froze my bank accounts, etc. 

My life has been hell, my credit rating is terrible, and I have to file for bankruptcy. And now, two years after she left, the house is for sale. It's a short sale, so the banks are freaking out over every penny. 

They worry about how much they'll lose. 

And when they heard that a lien was in place, they realized they'd lose even more because the lien has to be paid, and it comes out of their share.

My ex is now freaking out too, because the banks didn't accept an offer. They wanted more money. My ex sent an email to her lawyer & mine (but not to me), stating that I was "holding up the sale" because of the lien. 

She demanded that my lawyer undertake some legal process to have the lien removed. 

I got the delicious opportunity to tell her that I liked having the lien there. If the house sells, my back-owed money is paid off, and if it doesn't sell, well, I have to declare bankruptcy anyway, so it doesn't matter. 

She is now going nuts in email, lashing out at everyone.

jack_skellington

I was in a kind of daycare place where I did all but fit in. I, for the most part, played with the very large collection of various coloured playdoughs that were strewn about the playroom. 

There was one young lad who had the habit of destroying my creations. 

I was too scared to tell anyone because I didn't want to be labelled as "that kid" so one day I made a bunch of fish and when he came up to me that day he said what was I making. 

I said "They are the fishes I caught today in the pond with the hooks even still in them" making sure he heard this last bit of information. 

He ignored the hook part, disregarding it as a feeble attempt to get him away from me and my "precious" fishes. Needless to say, he was brought to the hospital with a couple of fishhooks in his hands. 

When asked how it happened I said I made them a part of my playdough fish and he grabbed the fishes with the hooks in them. 

I didn't get to stay there much longer after school... but all in all, it was worth it, I encountered him the next year in my class and he didn't say "boo" to me.

wombey2010

In 4th grade, during indoor recess, I unlocked my teacher's desk and another group of students went through her desk. A girl ratted me out and I got a week of detention. Sadness for me.

Three years later, this person ended up in front of me in one of my classes and I noticed she would cheat on her tests by leaving a study sheet just on the floor. 

After class one day, I went to the teacher and explained that he should watch for people cheating extra carefully the next time we had a test. 

Sure enough, the next time out, he found her study sheet just lying there and she started crying and whatnot. That was my Count of Monte Cristo moment.

lawofmurphy

I knew a kid who was an absolute terror. One day my friends and I were at the park playing football and this kid ran up to us with a paintball gun and shot us all up at the park. 

Now we have paintball guns too so if we wanted to shoot him up we could but we knew it wasn't enough. This time this kid went too far. 

Since he lives near us we know his family quite well and know that his mom is very controlling and mean. 

We also knew for a fact that he did not have a paintball gun before so he must have finally convinced his mom that he would be responsible with it and she finally allowed him to buy one. 

Well, we took all our paintball guns and shot up every house on his block except for his. His house is within viewing distance of the park where we play football so we all got to watch and laugh as his dad was outside slamming his gun against the street and apologizing to the neighbours. 

He was crying like a baby and it was glorious. 

I know this sounds mean but if you knew this kid you would know how badly he deserved it. He broke my go-cart once.

Clown_Shoe

I had a roommate in college who lied all the time. There were 3 of us in a house. This guy was cheap as heck. Only paid the rent. Didn't want to split costs for a washing machine or an answering machine (wanted to use some online service - this was in the early 2000s). 

I and the other roomie, who ended up being my best friend split the costs on the washing machine and answering machine. The guy had the audacity and ended up using both without ever paying for it.

He would make up stories about himself and put others down to make himself look better. He took his porn and put it in my room when I was away and he would tell visitors that I had a bunch of porn and that it was all mine. He was an expert manipulator. 

It got to the point where he was making up so many lies about me. I am pretty non-confrontational so I never call him out on it.

 I was really depressed because it was affecting my relationship with my other friends because of all the things he was making up about me.

He eventually put himself in a situation where he did something stupid. He bragged about it to me. When he realized that he was going to be in trouble, he had the audacity to beg me to not tell anyone. 

With my best poker face, I told him I wouldn't.

Then I thought long and hard about it, and in the end, I told my friends. I only had to tell one. It started a whole chain reaction where his web of lies came crashing down. He was completely alienated.

I had a chance for revenge, and I took it. I don't know if I am proud of it or not. The end result was that I ended up exposing him for what he really was.

[deleted]

I once started a tech company and developed a very marketable product. Being a techie who couldn't sell his way out of a paper bag, after about 4 years I eventually found a couple of partners to work with to help market and promote a business based on my tech and take things to the next level. 

They didn't buy their way in (my first mistake) and our contract wasn't written with adequate protection for me (my second mistake) since we were all "friends" and I never thought anything bad would happen.

We still had our day jobs and things were progressing nicely. on building a business while we each still had day jobs. We were starting to be successful and edging towards the ability to make quit-your-job kind of money. 

After a while, my partners started acting strangely and started floating the great idea to form a new business, form a new LLC and roll our existing successful business into it as "one of the offerings" which we would all make zillions from. 

They talked it up for weeks and eventually sent me a lengthy and confusing contract to sign. 

I knew right away the ideas for the other offerings for the new business were losers and got the suspicion that the only reason they wanted to do this was that they wanted to exploit the revenue from the existing emerging business and do away with me in the partnership. I smelled a rat and my spidey senses were tingling. 

Since one of my roles was systems admin, I spent one afternoon perusing their email on our server and in a matter of minutes, 

I found hard evidence of their plot to perform the aforementioned merger and promptly make use of a clause which would allow them to vote me out and leave me high and dry. 

It certainly explained why they were champing at the bit for me to "hurry up and just sign the new contract already". Closer scrutiny of the proposed contract showed that they would have been able to screw me out of the deal with no payout and leave me with nothing.

They were going to shaft me out of 8K hours of development time and were going to be making money off my technology for who knows how long.

I immediately picked my jaw up off the floor, did some research, went to a lawyer, and devised a plan for me to be able to walk away from the partnership and operate the business on my own. 

This was tricky and took way too much time and money, because of the lack of protection I had due to a lousy contract between us. 

I was successful and was able to oust them, and I still operate the business to this day, all on my own.

Here's the revenge part. My now former partners went on to start their new business. One of the Evil Partners still had a day job as VP of sales a company in the same industry as the new company they were building. 

I won't say who or what industry, but this was a clear conflict of interest in a narrow business space. 

This person was mining the rolodex and stealing clients away with the goal of jumping ship and running the new company with the purloined client base. 

I knew all of this and this was one of the reasons I didn't want to merge companies, to begin with since this behavior is illegal, unethical, and just plain icky. 

I waited a suitable amount of time to distance myself from the situation, then sent a package to the owner of the company for which the Evil Partner still worked and provided evidence of their efforts to undermine and steal all their clients. Results were as expected -

Evil Partner was fired and sued. 

This was years ago and every time I remember what almost happened to me and the bullet that I dodged, I just laugh and thank my lucky stars. The fact that I was able to give it right back to Evil Partner makes me smile. So Yes, revenge can be satisfying when applied to well-deserving assholes.

BetterThanDead

My girlfriend of then 6 years and I had broken up. Well, more accurately, she had broken up with me. This was 4 months after we moved across the country from New Jersey to Colorado under her request, so she could live near her parents. 

I had gotten a job but other than that, I was a stranger in a strange land. 

She asked told me to move out of the apartment that we had just gotten even though her parents lived right down the street and she could easily go live with them, she could not afford our apartment on her own (I could and she eventually did jump ship and I lost my deposit), and I had nowhere to go. 

I pleaded with her to give me the apartment. She didn't care. 

Her whole mentality through the whole thing was that she was not giving an inch for any reason, even if it was for the benefit of everyone. 

Anyhow, one day I went back to 'our' place to talk to her. I really wanted her back and I couldn't understand why, out of the blue, she didn't want to be with me after 6 years or so. 

I kept asking her if she was with someone else. Because, to me, that would be the nail and I would just move on. But she insisted over and over that this wasn't the case.

Sometime during this conversation, she said she was going to go to my friend's house and have him come pick me up.

I had nothing. I sold everything I had, including my car, to get us to Colorado. This friend had dropped me off there after I requested he do so. 

I was living on his couch and many others. So, at this point, my ex went to get him to come get me.

While she was gone, for some unknown reason, I decided to check the voicemail. The first message went something like this: "Hi Tina, listen, you need to change your voicemail. 

It says "we" are not home. And, well, if Alex calls and hears that he is going to know that you have had a boyfriend the whole time you have been dating him...."

And that is how I found out. I was devastated and fuming angry at the same time. The truth, it finally came out and she had been lying to me and cheating on me this whole time and she dragged me across the country (by happenstance) to do it! 

So, I did what any rational person would do under these circumstances. 

I changed the access code to the voice mail. 

I then changed the outgoing message to "Hi! This is Halbowitz. Unfortunately, I'm not at home right now because it ends up Tina has been unfaithful to me and has been sleeping with a guy named Alex. 

Of course, she never fessed up to it and thought it would be easier just to kick me out of the house and home with nothing more than the shirt on my back and her lies denying her infidelity in my head." I also said some other choice things. But, for the most part, that is the message I left.

Well, since the phone was in my name, she had a hard time getting that message off the voicemail. So, for weeks after that, anyone who called when she was not home was greeted with that message. 

And since she didn't have much of a reason to call her own number and hear the message, she didn't know I had changed it for some time and was livid when she found out.

I'll admit though, I did get a small amount of satisfaction from it. She did everything she could to make the breakup as rocky as possible while I bent over backward to appease her. So, this, as small as it was, was something for me to hang my hat on.

halbowitz

I had a roommate who was a member of the KKK, something I found out long after he moved in. He'd have parties that started at 3 a.m. (and bitch and moan if any black person showed up). Even though I had to be up for work at 6 a.m., I said nothing. 

However, he bitched to our mutual friends about my "loud ironing" in the morning but never to my face.

 Then, after we got into a few arguments, I came home to see all his crap piled in a corner. 

He was moving out and not telling me, thus leaving me with the extra rent. A few months later, he asked for his share of the security deposit back. When I finally moved out, I donated his share to the NAACP in his name.

[deleted]

While I was deployed overseas, my then-girlfriend at the time was hooking up with many different men while pretending to be a loving, trustworthy girlfriend to me. She even went so far as to tell me she was assaulted and that she was pregnant (supposedly mine) and had an abortion. 

Still in the dark about all of this, I get back to the States and am expecting her to be arriving on a flight and drive the hour to pick her up. Come to find out that she wasn't even on a plane and the whole thing was made up. Called her mother while I was at the airport and asked to speak to her. 

She just woke up from a nap on the other side of the country and I had the pleasure of catching her in her lie. A couple of weeks later, after hearing about all the lies and bullshit her sister was making me aware of, we hook up and during the act, my ex walks in.

It was priceless seeing her face. Couldn't have felt better after evening the score as well as I could.

So after my ex walks in, she tries to stop her sister and me. We didn't know that she came home with her mom and when she saw what was going on, she grabbed my ex, hauled her out of the room, and slammed the door behind her. 

We finish, somewhat quickly, and walk out to a full-on catfight between my ex and her mom. 

Her entire family knew what she had been doing to me and felt she deserved no less than what she was getting. Of course, her dad was ready to kill me but I didn't stay long enough to have that chat with him.

[deleted]

As much as I agree that "moving on and living a happy life" is a good idea. I had a bit of revenge on my ex-wife. She left me for her ex-boyfriend whom she had led us all to believe had died a year earlier.

She asked me to send her some things to Missouri from here in Idaho including her wedding dress. I sent it and everything else she asked for all in ziploc baggies. 

Ashes weigh a lot less than actual clothing and stuff. 

It was a grand bonfire. 

We even took pictures and enclosed them to prove what we were sending. I haven't spoken with her since, and now am super happily married to a woman that is not crazy nutso.

intensenerd

When I was in 4th grade, we took a class trip to the symphony and I loved it. If you've ever heard a live symphony, then you know how amazing the sound is. I'd never heard something that awesome before and was so excited that I turned to my friend next to me and made a comment (something like, "Wow, this is totally rad!") 

Well, there were two girls sitting behind us and they complained to the teacher, saying that my friend and I had talked through the whole performance and ruined it for them.

Well, my buddy and I got in some serious trouble for that and we had to sit in detention for several recesses.

Detention was super boring, no talking or reading; you just had to sit there. 

With nothing else to do, I plotted my revenge. 

The next week, I brought some chocolate-flavored Exlax to class. I apologized to the girls for being such a terrible disturbance during the symphony and offered them the chocolate just before class started. 

The first hour passed without any action, but in the middle of math, things got interesting.

It's important to say that our teacher was a pretty old-school authoritarian and had a very strict hall pass policy: 

Only one student out at a time. 

So as the girls started to squirm and act uncomfortable, I told my friend to take the hall pass. Almost immediately, the girls' hands went up, asking to use the bathroom. No, go, as my buddy had the hall pass. 

They squirmed and pleaded and begged and still our teacher wouldn't let them go. 

And then, that magical moment I hadn't dared hope for: in the middle of reviewing our multiplication tables, they crapped their pants. So awesome, so much win! Everyone in the class nearly died laughing, then nearly died gagging. 

It was soon revealed that I was responsible and I was sent to the principal's office and my family was threatened with criminal charges, but the months of teasing that those two little chits endured made it worth it!

CaptainMoroni

In college, my neighbor was wild. She would call the cops on us and even made me and my roommates go to mediation over nothing. We never knew she had an issue with us. Never called me, never even hinted at any issues she had with us. 

So after making our lives a living hell, dealing with the cops on a daily basis from "anonymous calls" and ridiculous allegations...I decided to take some revenge and make her life a living hell as well.

I went to a nearby record store that had magazines and took out all of the "subscription postcards" out of every magazine (about 270) to be exact. 

Went online and had labels made for my neighbor's address, got all roommates together, and while drinking a few beers, we pasted on her address to all the magazine subscriptions and checked the "Bill me later" box.

Well, I hope you can imagine what happened next. It took her over 2 years to unsubscribe to all (although I think she gave up). She would have to write letters to each magazine provider, and then creditor if she missed payments.

Lo and behold, she moved. It was really nice to scavenge through all the magazines that were left over. To this day, magazines still come to that address

xxgoozxx

When I was 3 months pregnant I walked in on my then best friend and my husband. On my couch. While I'd been sleeping in the next room. Needless to say, drama ensued. Divorce, they moved in together, etc. 

A few months later I was driving by her ex-boyfriend's house (I lived on the same street and was on my way home, I'm not a crazy stalker) and saw the two of them making out on his front deck. 

I honked my horn on the way by so she knew I saw her. 

And then I never mentioned it again. 

I have just spent the last 3 years with all of us getting along pretty well (with a baby in the middle of all the drama there was no option to just avoid them) and my secret evil joy at watching her squirm every time I see them. 

I get the joy of knowing that my cheating ass of an ex got stuck with one of his own. Best revenge I could have hoped for.

imironman

When I was 8 years old a girl at school tried to lasso me with a skipping rope. I broke free and broke her skipping rope in the process. She proceeded to tell on me to the teacher.

Probably because she was a good girl and I was a little shit (evidence of this fact in a moment) the teacher believed her and ordered me to either fix the girl’s skipping rope or buy her a new one.

Sensing an opportunity, I said I'd fix the girls skipping rope. It was one of those hollow rubber ones a bit like a hose with rubber handles at either end. 

The fix was to stuff the "hose" back into the handle fixing it in place with crazy glue. I however used inferior wood glue so that the handle would break off again.

I know what you're thinking… A sub-par repair job does not make a very good revenge story. Well, she soon figured out what 8-year-old boy she shouldn't hate on when the handle broke off and the grape juice I had filled the entire length of skipping rope up with came flying out all over her and her silly little skipping friends.

TheJulian

I was picked on quite a bit through school and now when the people who picked on me recognize me and try to say hi (I don't know why they think I would want to talk to them at all.) I just ask if I know them. 

The expression on their face fills me with such joy every time.

I'm all for forgiving and forgetting but don't expect me to just be like good friends just because you're saying hi to me after making my life a living hell for so long.

judgement_horse

In the fourth grade, on a military base in Texas, I used to ride my mother's bicycle off the base to the local comic book store and spend my entire allowance on comics. 

I would then spend the rest of the week selling these comics to the rest of my fourth-grade class, for double the cover price. 

I got to read all the comics and made a healthy profit on them as well. 

One day my teacher Mr Smith found out about my scheme and confiscated my entire collection of comics. They weren't disrupting class, as I sold them before and after school, and I had them in a paper sack on my desk like I did every week. 

I was as angry as a ten-year-old could get.

So I gathered all the money I had (ten bucks!) and went to the local commissary. I bought all the bulk penny candy I could. It ended up filling a grocery sack about half full. 

That's a lot of candy. Then the next day, I smuggled it into the school. 

I showed it to all the kids before the day started, and announced anyone who got yelled at, got a handful, and anybody who got sent to the principal's office got four handfuls. Chaos ensued, as I sat back and watched, angelically glaring at Mr. Smith. 

On the second kid sent to the principal's office, I got ratted out.

The principal sent for me and Mr Smith together, and someone else took over the class. Once in the office, the principal asked me what was going on... I explained in detail, still angry, speaking in clipped terms what Mr Smith had done, and how I would keep making his life miserable till I got my comics book back.

I glared at both of them with little hands folded in defiance. When they sent me out of the room, I could hear both of them break out in uncontrollable laughter. I got my comics back.

Lastonk

My friend was annoyed with me, as I'd told him I was traveling interstate, then overseas a week later, but hadn't told him why. He was emailing me to ask why I was traveling, but I was busy and was planning on emailing him later.

Before I got the chance to reply, he wrote to me saying "Hope you enjoy the prank! Heh heh!". I wondered what he meant.

Then the emails started. What he had done was tell a large number of people - friends, acquaintances, and some strangers that I was traveling for treatment for renal cancer, having been recently diagnosed. 

A girl who had recently been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis wrote to me, offering her sympathy and a shoulder if I needed it.

I felt awful. I felt angry. Word got around that I was okay, but I was still angry and baffled that he thought it was funny.

Some time later I had to visit his house, and he was out. A friend and I managed to break in. We took all the drawers out of his dresser, inverted them, and put them back, so everything spills out when you open them.

I changed his computer's desktop and home page to gay porn. I also installed a 'fake format' program in his startup folder. It looked just like the real thing, but when you clicked cancel, it proceeded to run an exact copy of the format process, including thrashing the hard drive. 

It was scary, even when you knew it was fake. 

I didn't know he had no backups of his copious writings (he started backing up after this scare). He called me later, livid. The intrusion had annoyed him, the fake format thing had almost stopped his heart. When he calmed down he said that I owed him some revenge.

Oh, and I married the girl with multiple sclerosis.

Tomble

My dad shared a wall with some noisy neighbors. They decided to have an all-night party, and the sound came through the wall and kept him up. Dad had a reel-to-reel tape recorder that would store hours of audio.

So he set up a microphone, recorded a large section of the party, then around 6 am the next morning he pushed the speakers up against the wall, hit 'play' and went out for the day. The neighbors were livid about the noise keeping them up!

Tomble

My roommate purposely parked his car with about an inch separating his car and my driver's side door. Rather than climb through the passenger side, I went inside, grabbed his keys, and got in his car. 

I drove it about 5 blocks away, parked it, and walked back to the apartment. I left the keys on the counter with a note that said "I had to move your car so that I could get into mine, but I forgot where I parked it. Sorry."

It took him 4 hours to find his car. Winning.

Outlaw83

My story is more of karma rather than revenge. My ex-wife and I are both in the military. After about two years of marriage, she was deployed to Haiti. While she was over there, she changed completely and was hanging around with some guy from her unit all the time. 

After she got back, she was different. She always wanted to go out and sometimes would not come home. I eventually found out she was cheating on me with that guy from her unit.

In the military adultery is a serious issue. When a member is found guilty of adultery, non-judicial punishment is usually the result. Well, someone I work with who knew the situation suggested I turn them in for revenge. 

This would get them in big trouble and they would lose rank and such.

I decided to be the bigger person and just get divorced and not worry about it. Well, eventually when he was TDY in Brazil, he racked up about a $2,000 bill on his government phone. When he was questioned, everything came to light. 

They both received article 15s and each of them lost a rank and she was given additional duty time. My ex who was always one rank higher than me, was actually lower than me now and it felt great. I was the bigger person and the karma eventually caught up with them.

Coolguydino86

I got revenge, and I don't regret it at all however I probably wouldn't do it again. My ex was sleeping with women he was meeting on Adult Friend Finder, filming it, and posting the videos back onto the internet. 

I, through investigation, when he was making mistakes in stories he was giving me to cover for what he was doing, was able to find these videos and photos of him on the internet. I saved everything I could, found him on several other websites, and presented it to him. 

He tried denying everything, despite timestamps on the videos and photos. I gave him ultimatums, demanded the truth and when he continued to lie I sent it all to his mother. 

Now enough time has passed and I've cooled down, and am working on writing an article to submit to local magazines to expose the kind of stuff that goes on with these types of websites and how people can recognize signs that something is going on with their significant other and how to investigate these situations.

cabecuda

My boyfriend had been cheating on me with this girl I knew. I was best friends with his roommate so even after we broke up I would sometimes go there (when the ex wasn't around). They had a high-traffic house, lots of people coming and going. 

I was in the bathroom about to go pee and noticed tons of piss in the toilet and on the seat. 

I then noticed her scooby doo toothbrush and decided it was time to clean the toilet. With her toothbrush. 

I told my best friend about it who had to leave the room whenever she was brushing her teeth so as to not ruin my revenge. Apparently, she used that toothbrush for a good 6 months or so after my little scrubbing session. No regrets!

jenniferjuniper

It was a moment I'm pretty proud of. So my new girlfriend (for less than a day) and I are at the airport. She's flying home, which I'm rather grumpy about. She's blind, and we had her guide dog with us.

We're sitting there, minding our own business, and these two ladies sat down nearby and started talking about us, right in front of us...in Spanish. 

They weren't being mean, but we both knew some Spanish and knew they were talking about her, and the dog, blah blah blah.

To me, it's rude to talk about someone right in front of them, just because you happen to speak another language.

Finally, I looked over at her, and said, loudly, in Spanish, "Do you think they're talking about us?" The look on their faces was priceless.

[deleted]

I used to have these crazy parties in my parents' pool house and one time this girl goes over to the purse table and acts like she's texting or something and then steals the money out of every girl's purse. In total, she took about $300. 

But I had cameras in the pool house! 

So, the next day I called her and made her fess up, although she swears up and down to me and all of her friends that she only took $50. She was trying to get away with $250!! And make me and my friends who were the victims look like liars!! Well, at this point I had told her the amount taken was $300, but not anyone else. 

So when they asked, I referred them to a mutual friend who had actually had about $60 taken out of her purse alone and showed them the tape of her reaching into all the purses and I told all her friends she stole $500 total. 

So she called me crying when she heard the new number and said she'd pay the $300, and I told her only if she admitted to her friends that that's how much she took. 

Well, she wouldn't. Instead, she tells all her friends that she only took the $50 and I was trying to blackmail her by calling the cops. 

The next day, I'm at a mutual friend's house (who is like one of the girl's best friends) and the stealing girl calls this friend and tries to lie to her about me, not realizing I'm there. 

I grabbed the phone from my friend and delivered the most epic speech of my life. 

Something about "don't call my friends liars. If they say they lost that much then I believe them. You're the one who denied to everyone that you even stole anything until I showed them the tape..." blah blah something about getting the cops involved. 

At this point, everyone believed me and her friends threatened to tell her parents if she didn't pay me back. So, she had to and I made $200. I spent it at more parties where I invited like every person that girl knew except her. It was glorious.

Rastafaerie

I'm a 21-year-old in college. Back as a freshman in high school I was a skinny 120 lb Asian kid who liked playing Pokemon and staring at the hot girls in class. This older kid named Greg would always try to get in my face in the hallways and shove me and try to get me to retaliate. 

I would always walk away and never do anything back because he was large and I had a tendency to get beat up. One day I just couldn't take it anymore and when he came at me, I managed to shove him hard enough to make him stumble into a locker.

 As I was walking away feeling good about myself he punched me straight in the back of the head and everyone saw it.

Fast forward 4 years, I'm a freshman in college and I had just won my amateur MMA debut, and guess who I run into at a party in our town? Good old Greg who is now a stoner and a complete loser. 

When he saw me he tried to give me the usual tough guy attitude and tried to shove me around a bit, at which point I proceeded to beat him senseless. I broke his nose and he avoided everyone for weeks after.

MMAfighterNJ

I was stalked pretty relentlessly online by a guy who claimed that "another studio had hired me to defame his operation". Daily Craigslist postings (up to 50 a day) run me roughshod.

He started emailing my gear companies using his real name in order to "seem legit". Of course, I found out who it was. Then he began sending random threatening messages to people with my email attached; I started getting calls from people asking me what was happening.

I talked to lawyers, the FBI, and the police, and really there's nothing that could be done. Proving it was actually him would be next to impossible.

So....I spend 5 days of my work life carving out a pretty damning dossier against the guy, made a blog story about the experience, balanced it with enough favorable material towards the guy to make it an op/ed piece rather than a libelous attack, emailed him and told him that he'd have to take up this issue with Google because now when his name is searched my site is result #1. 

If he was worried about work being diverted from him back then, having to explain his crackhead motivations to other prospective clients would be one more obstacle to getting hired.

The harassment magically stopped. I eventually took the piece off my site because I did not want to further the argument. However, it's been rewritten with a more caustic and pointed tone (approved by my attorney), and should he start up again, 

I'll simply republish the article and start sending it out on Reddit, CL, etc.

[deleted]

I had a roommate who was a little too friendly. I'd come home from work and people I'd never seen before would be there. He made friends with a lady in the apartment below us. They were short-term apartments and they had key cards for entry. 

She swapped keys with us and came in and stole a bunch of stuff, only about $20 worth of stuff from me, my roommate lost a PDA, jewelry, etc. 

We had helped her buy a car, by checking it out and stuff. At 4 a.m. Jan 1st we attacked. We put a gallon of metal shavings, ketchup, urine, honey, used oil, water, etc in her car's gas tank. 

The car has not moved since then. Yes, it was worth it.

skcusloa

My freshmen year college roommate was very socially awkward, had absolutely no friends, and on top of it all, he was a jerk to me, the only person who tried to get him engaged with groups and whatnot. His parents also lived about 10 minutes from campus, so home wasn’t far.

Prior to Valentine’s Day, I asked him if it was cool for me to have the room for the night. I had a date lined up, and nothing would be worse than bringing someone home with your roommate there.

He’s cool with it, says it’s not a problem, great. Fast forward to Valentine’s Day. I bring my date home, and he’s there. I ask him if he’s about to head out, and he says that he has an assignment due at midnight and can’t leave until he finishes. Yet, he’s not doing homework, he’s watching Family Guy on his computer with his headphones on.

At 5 AM, my date and I are watching our 2nd movie, and he has yet to leave, nor start his homework. 

Her roommate asked her for the room for the night as well, so no chance of going there. We fall asleep, nothing happens.

Turns out that his assignment wasn’t due until the following midnight, hence, cock-blocking me for no reason.

Revenge time. He met some girl online and she was going to come visit him in a week and he asked for the room for the night. I didn’t object to giving him the room for the night… so I downloaded a bunch of fart noises and scheduled them to play at random times throughout the night. 

The idea was that each would think the other was farting. The way the room was set up, my speakers were right around his bed.

Turns out, he was completely friend-zoned and she never stepped into our dorm, but damn, that would’ve been a great prank to play.

BruinsFan478

Summer after freshman year of high school I went to this tripping camp in Vermont Tripping means going on long-ass canoe/hiking/camping trips in the Northeast and Canada. 

There was this new guy that year who was about 6'3", cross-eyed, a Neanderthal-looking creature with a limited vocabulary, and loved boasting to us fellow campers about his girlfriend who was ugly by the way. 

This guy was a brute and standing at 5'5" at the time I had a negative disposition towards anyone ALOT taller than me (I've gotten over this). This guy was a douche straight up I can't say it enough.

Anyway, we more or less got along at the time but for some reason at breakfast in the dining hall one day he decided to pour syrup all over my head. In front of my friends and fellow counselors...for no reason...just thought it would be funny. 

The counselors thought it was because of poor taste and everyone kind of had a "This is screwed up" kind of expression on his face. I wanted to punch him square in the face at that instant but knew I'd probably get kicked out so I played it cool. 

He apologized to me a couple hours later and I acted like it was totally cool and we were boys.

That night when camp activities were over it was time for our age group to hike up this mountain and sleep in our cabins. The hike takes about 15 minutes if you're walking but you can do it in about 5 if you sprint up it. I sprinted up to the cabins ahead of everyone...went to his cabin and found his bed. 

I then took another camper's toothpaste and squeezed it on this douche’s bed underneath his blanket and underneath his pillows. I used a lot of the toothpaste but did it such that you couldn't notice it until you got in bed.

An hour later it was lights out and from a few cabins away I heard this maddening screaming. My friends in this douche's cabin told me how they all turned on the lights to find him covered from head to toe in toothpaste. Imagine this cross-eyed Neanderthal covered in Crest it was beautiful. 

One of those moments where I feel like the short guy won and the tall douche never confronted me about it.

PDres123

One day my younger sister was sitting in the room that I was facing while doing pull-ups. She decided to chuck an orange at my nads. She hit me square in the sack and I fell to the ground, almost crying. 

Two days later my mom was washing all of the towels, there were like 3 left in the bathroom and she was taking a shower after me.

After I heard that she shut off the water I ran up to the bathroom door and yelled "I butt flossed with 2 out of the 3 of those towels, so choose wisely grasshopper. All I heard was eww, she went to school that day with her hair looking like a bird lives in it. I thought that was great revenge.

[deleted]

One time revenge was worth it, I had a roommate when I was subletting a room for the summer for my internship in college. 

She was passive-aggressive, got her panties all in a twist about stupid things like painting my nails at the kitchen table, would refuse to buy toilet paper even after I bought it multiple times in a row and then found out she was hiding it in her room and taking it in with her each time.

She was just an all-around miserable person who made life in that apartment hard to enjoy.

 A friend of mine and I let the air out of her tires - all 4 - after she called a "roommate meeting", and insisted I cut my weekend plans short because it was super important I was home and then failed to show up.   

I came into the apartment and feigned surprise, "Natasha, your tires are all flat on your car! Did you hit something?" She freaked out and ran outside, she couldn't move her car from the driveway which got her a parking ticket because she wasn't really supposed to park there and had to have it towed. 

The day I moved out I peed in her NyQuil. I never spoke to her again.

eitakretsevlys

There was this belligerent guy at work who always needed to hog the spotlight. I never liked the guy- one day I called him timid and he goes "Oh yeah, bet you can't get that cute girl's number" and I went over and got her number. 

He's basically one of these insecure guys who needs to constantly assert himself. 

Anyway, one day he is picking on another coworker relentlessly and I'm like, dude why don't you shut up or pick on someone your own size (I am 6'3", kind of a big dude, but he's bigger). So then he starts ripping on me, but the difference is I spent 4 years in the Air Force so I can take it and dish it.

I hated this guy so much after that, I took a very sharp knife and went to his house and punctured the sidewalls of his fancy truck's tires in the middle of the night like a ninja. Only took a few seconds and I was out of there with a hiss behind me.

Probably a little overkill, but I have this thing about bullies. And I don't regret it, all of that guy's shit was paid for by his rich parents anyway.

GSpotAssassin

I was in 6th grade and in the first few weeks of middle school, I had to get used to using a locker to store all my things since backpacks weren't allowed. Being fairly tall, probably getting close to 6 feet (I'm 6'2 or 6'3 ish as an adult), 

I was fortunate enough to get a top locker. 

You see the lockers are stacked in twos. A girl named Alyssa got the locker below mine and she was pissed that she didn't have a top locker. She decided to rage at me for some reason. 

I've been a nice guy for my whole life but this is the only time I've ever had to physically respond to a girl(or guy for that matter). 

While I politely hovered and tried to get my books one morning without getting in her space, she yelled insults at me and other derogatory things. 

This berating and constant disrespect had been a regular thing for a few weeks and it didn't help that they didn't let students into the school till a few minutes before class started meaning there was always a scramble to get to the lockers and then to class without being late. 

Eventually, she straight up started throwing my books out of my locker onto the floor. Having had enough, I grabbed my last book and noticed her hand was holding onto the ridge where my locker closed. Thinking quickly, I slammed my locker door as hard as I could hitting her hand. 

She screams out in pain and I slam the door again after she moves her hand. I grab my stuff again and walk to class. She never messed with me again. I still don't regret doing this either, she totally had it coming.

dastly75

There was a group of girls/guys who hated me in middle school because I was the typical weird girl/geek type who liked anime. They would shove me into lockers (I was horribly claustrophobic at the time), insult me, and the way I talked, steal my books, and just generally make my life hell. 

One girl eventually became their ringleader because she pretended to be my friend only to spill all my secrets to them for future bullying use. I decided to take her down. 

At our school, if you did not have your required homework or materials you would get 3 written warnings. After the third one you would get detention, 5 you would serve 2, etc. You also got a zero for the grade if you did not have your homework. I found one of the ringleader's locker combinations. 

I would proceed to steal one of her books or hide her homework elsewhere, only for it to turn up the next day where she thought it would be. 

I did this for a little over a month. By this time her grades tanked to failing (she wasn't doing that great to begin with), she had served many detentions, and the teachers generally lost all trust and respect for her. 

Especially when she would blame me in class (but I was sitting here reading the whole time, teacher! How could I have done anything?). I confronted her on the way to lunch one day, telling her to get her friends to back off or else she would have more problems. 

The girl never spoke a word to me again after that, and the others did back off. Bullying solved, no thanks to the school system that permitted it.

[deleted]

I was driving my girlfriend's car when a guy t-boned me. It was clearly his fault. He paid for all the repairs and, to help him out, I agreed not to show up at his court date so he would not get a conviction and points (and the ensuing insurance costs). 

The last piece of the repairs was to replace the two destroyed hubcaps. 

The factory hubcaps were expensive and I could buy 4 new ones for about 1/4 the cost of one factory hubcap. I offered this alternative and he said yes, then whined about having to pay for 4 hubcaps. I reminded him it was much cheaper than the factory option.

I met him at the courthouse on the day of his court appearance and he gave me a check for $~60 to pay for the final costs.  He went into the courthouse and I went to the bank to cash the check and give the money to my GF.

He had stopped payment on the check before he gave it to me. I paid my GF the money from my account.  

I placed the money on the edge of a picture frame next to my apartment door to remind me each day not to be a sucker. Then, one day, my GF and I were with friends watching a game when I jumped off the sofa and said "I'd be back."

I grabbed my keys, and the check, and rushed out the door. I'd realized that the check was dated one year earlier and the bank wouldn't notice. Sure enough, they cashed the check and I bought dinner that night. 

I always imagined that the dumbass bounced several checks because of that check, but mostly I wished to be a fly on the wall when he figured out what had happened!

notoriousdad

My girlfriend has had no contact with her father for years. He continues to harass her regularly, and at one point he sent her a letter with insults. The letter enclosed a photo of his new girlfriend: she was younger than his own daughter. 

We were tired with it and at night we went to the village where he lives. We climbed over the fence and wrote 'pedophile' with spray on his wall. Large and visible to all passersby. 

The harassment was over.

ongeduldige

A few friends of mine went in on about $1,800 worth of psychedelic mushrooms. The deal was sorted through a mutual friend, the dealer was unknown to me and the others involved but we trusted our contact.

The deal went just fine; We met him at his house, purchased the product, and exchanged some small talk. He seemed about as trustworthy as any drug dealer is and no one had second thoughts about it. We get home and test the product. 

Sure enough, it's bunk, most likely nothing but dried shataki. 

We called the dealer to express our disappointment and demand a refund. His response is, "Money is already gone. Sometimes people get frauded, welcome to the game..."

Now of course our first reaction was to visit his house with baseball bats, but after our tempers cooled we realized we weren't badass enough for such a violent confrontation, and that this guy most likely owned several guns. 

We had to be more creative, in all honesty, we wanted financial retribution. 

It was decided that we would do approx $1,800 worth of damage to his personal property.

The plan came together quite well. Myself and another friend had recently taken a welding class at the local community college. 

My friend liked the craft so well that he purchased a used arc welder on eBay and had been doing some artwork/freelance welding around town.

The plan was to weld the doors and trunk of the dealer's BMW 3 series. The problem was gaining access to his car which was always parked behind his house for enough time to do the deed. 

He worked at a local electronics store for most of the day, so we knew if we disabled his car he would have to leave it there during work. 

So we snuck into his backyard at about 4 a.m. popped the hood of his car and disconnected the spark plugs. Sure enough, he came out for work that morning and unsuccessfully tried to drive to work. 

Not sure how he got to work but when we came back to his place at around 10 no one was there, but the car was still in the back.

We quickly set up everything. All in all, it took about 25 minutes to weld every opening of the car. It wasn't pretty but there was no way anyone was opening those doors.

The only sad part is we never got to see his reaction. But he did have to smash out the driver's side window in order to get into the car to drive it, which as far as I know he still owns and still isn't able to access in the intended manner.

Skiingjoo

There was this kid who would always bully me, and it was really getting old because I was being bullied all my life. It started out like normal, being teased about my weight. I guess I was a little heavier than other kids but that doesn't mean people should tease me about it.

So basically this kid had been tormenting me for a bit, punching me in the face, grabbing me, and punching me in the stomach and one day I just snapped. 

He hit me and I immediately grabbed him, lifted him up, and threw him to the ground. There was a video that got posted on the internet and a lot of people have seen it and 

are on my side. Standing up for what's right is good I guess!

ThingsOtherPeopleDid

I live in a small suite-style dorm and was given a random roommate. She had little interest in me and would usually ignore me. the amount of food she wasted made me want to cry. 

To give you an idea, she made pasta noodles, and instead of storing them in the Tupperware containers I bought, she left them out on the counter for 3 days assuming they would dry back to their original state, then threw them out. 

I had to make my own fruit fly traps for all of the leftovers, and during Christmas, she left me with all of the crap to clean out even though it was entirely her food.

Eventually, my roommate got herself a boyfriend. He came over to her room all the time. Like... they never alternated. it was always that room. One day I decided to have a TF2 lan party in my room for my roommate to come back to. 

That was all fine and dandy until some other friends came along with a massive table that barely fit in the main area, brought a smoke machine, and started playing poker while listening to old 50s music. She came in late and found a bunch of random men (I'm the only girl) in this room. 

I'm in my bedroom with the door closed playing there, so she's completely freaked out and assuming they are smoking. The boyfriend clues in faster and spots the smoke machine. 

After a moment, I come out and say hello to her as normally as possible and they go into their room, squeezing uncomfortably around the table and into their own bedroom. we remain there until 5 in the morning. I go on the next day as if nothing happened.

On the last day of school, I left before her and let her clean up her own shit. I also took the router that the two of us bought and never spoke to her again.

Anodesu

One of my brother's acquaintances liked to egg people. He would go out every weekend throwing eggs. One weekend he got me and my buddy, not realizing my brother was friends with friends of his.

My buddy who got egged has a chemist for a father, and my brother and his friends knew where the kid parked his car. 

We decided since he couldn't be trusted to use his car responsibly, he didn't deserve it.

Thermite through the engine block. He didn't get another car for 2 years after that. Best feeling ever.

Mysteryman64

At one point, I was going through a major depression spell. Not to the point of suicide, but to the point where life sucked. The only thing worth anything in my life at the time was my girlfriend. 

She was caring/loving/etc and I made sure not to be too clingy or anything. I also had a cool best friend and we'd hang out. 

You couldn't even tell I suffered from depression hardcore when I was out with them. I couldn't even tell.

One day it all comes crashing down. He fed her a bunch of lies and bullshit about me to get to sleep with her, while feeding her friends lies and bullshit about her, and feeding my other friends lies and bullshit about me. 

So she and I were now split up and separated from our friends.

He had taken the only things that made my life worth living: My friends and my lover. So I had to get back at him.

I'm not going to go into specifics, but I ravaged his online accounts, made sure that everyone he knew realized what a scumbag he was, cost him tons of money, and even made him seriously question his sexuality. 

He also contracted syphilis because of one of the men he slept with during this questioning phase.

I'm not proud of it today, but I really think that it kept me alive through that hard time. The burning hatred and desire for revenge actually kept me from doing something even more stupid.

Hristix

The only time I ever had my revenge done was at a local show. I was 20 and wanted to go out for a cigarette. I was informed that you could not leave the building and re-enter unless you were 21. 

I was pretty pissed but just said, "Are you kidding me? That sucks", in a giving-up kind of way. 

The guy telling me I couldn't leave responded with "Next time try bringing your mommy or daddy, okay sweetheart?" in a really aggressive way. At this point, the manager looked a little alarmed at his behavior and was walking over. and that's when I recognized him. 

He was this douche from a party my roommates had thrown about a year earlier, he came in uninvited (although he was a coworker of many there), got shit-faced, broke a bunch of things in the house including the toilet, and refused to leave. 

He was later fired for this behavior and generally being drunk on the job. I changed my tone and loudly recounted the story in front of the manager.

"oh hey wait! I know you! you're Kevin, right? Used to work at [company] with [roommate] The guy who..."

The look on his face was priceless.

mmorgies

Let me start by saying the guy deserved it. Really.

My roommate and I went to every hospital in Worcester, Massachusetts. We stopped on every floor at every hospital. 

And we grabbed the subscription cards out of every magazine in every waiting room on every floor in every hospital. And we signed our "friend" "Charlie" up for a total of 191 different magazines. "Bill Me Later" of course.

What a terrible thing to do, right? We also ordered him a Civil War Chess Set, and a Texas Garden Weasel and made him a "prayer buddy" at one of the religious networks. Those suddenly doubting their faith could call him anytime, day or night, for support. 

And then the topper - we collected 35 1-liter Coke bottles, took the labels off, and spray-painted them gold. Then we applied a bright red circle of duct tape around the center of each one, so it would catch your attention and look like something vaguely scientific. 

Then during a drunken weekend on the Cape, I acquired a few letterheads from the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution. On one letterhead we photocopied a map of the Maine coast, with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, etc.

On the other, we delivered the coup de grace:

“To Whom It May Concern: My name is Dr. Charlie XXX from the Matthew Hooper Center for Coastal Studies at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute. We have released these bottles from a ship off the coast of Nova Scotia as part of a study of ocean currents. 

If you have found one of these bottles, you are eligible for a $100 payment as part of our research grant. 

Simply mark where and when you found this bottle on the enclosed map, and mail both to Dr. Charlie XXX, etc. Then call me, anytime, day or night to confirm my receipt of your letter and to make sure your money is on the way!”

And we added his home phone number in big black print. We rolled up the map and cover letters, stuck them in the bottles, and spent a leisurely Sunday drive up the coast into the really creepy parts of Maine, stopping occasionally every five or ten miles to get out of the car and throw one of the bottles on the beach. 

I'm told "Charlie," who was in reality simply a college sophomore, was threatened for months by irate Mainers looking for their money.

Of course, the joke ended up on us. "Charlie" grew up to become a top employee at the National Security Administration - the NSA. I'm sure he's plotting his revenge even as we speak.

KazamaSmokers

This is revenge that happened to me.

Senior year of college, I lived with several dudes and one girl. This girl, who is very sweet and kind, left a bowl of peanut M&M's on the coffee table in the common room, for all of us to enjoy. Without thinking, I took the entire bowl into my room and ate it all.

Over the next few months, I noticed weird things happening to my deodorant. It would disappear for a day or two, and then reappear where I thought I left it. Sometimes I would find it nearby, but somewhere kind of odd like under a pillow. 

Other times it would just completely disappear, and I would go buy a new one. 

Although my deodorant was all over the place, I blamed myself for keeping a messy room. I was very unorganized, and I figured that the missing deodorant was just somewhere among piles of clothes or books.

At the end of the semester, months later, my other roommate gave me back 8 sticks of deodorant. He had been moving them about and stealing them in order to get back at me for the peanut M&M’s.

mincerray