People Recount The Most Significant "You Just Screwed With The Wrong Person" Moment They Have Experienced

Messing with the wrong people can really get us in trouble. Or maybe, we’re the ones no one should screw with. Either way, we have funny, embarrassing, or even jaw-dropping stories about the moments people have realized they messed with the wrong person, or had other people mess with them. these stories prove that you should never judge a book by its cover. 

1. Not Expecting That

I stopped in Reno overnight while moving across the country. I had everything I owned in a little beater I bought for the trip. All night, I'm keeping an eye on the parking lot. 

There is a cop car in the lot. Sure enough, later that night, I saw a shady guy slowly walking along the line of parked cars scoping them out. To my surprise, he decides the COP car is the one he wants to break into. 

So he takes off his shirt, wraps it around his arm, and starts hitting the window with his forearm. I call the front desk and let them know what's going on. The lady says she's calling the cops. 

I tell her it's a cop car and ask if a cop is staying in the hotel. She says she'll check. About 30 seconds later, a very angry man in his boxers thunders out of his room and tackles the dude. He screwed with the wrong person.

Neiliobob

My father recently told me this story about this jerk who he works with driving trucks for different distributors, they have no smoking areas since food productions, etc, but this idiot decided to smoke there anyway, putting his butts out in a Styrofoam cup. 

Anyway, after a while, his truck was loaded, and he decided to just throw the cup out the window after getting in his truck when a man walked past and asked him calmly to pick the cup up and put it in the bin, to which this intellectual giant of a driver says "if it's so important why don't you put it in the bin" before driving off. 

Without making much of a reaction, he picked it up, walked to the bin, then made his way back inside. When my father got back to the main truck depot, he saw this driver getting yelled at by his boss, turns out there was a conference being held with some overseas members of the company and the CEO, the CEO of which was told to pick up the cup. 

They instantly barred the driver from the site and all associated sites and my father's boss had to jump through hoops to not lose the contract renewal. I can't imagine the level of ecstasy that CEO would have felt during the whole situation knowing that this prick doesn't know who he is.

Tazoo

When I was a senior in high school, I was at a house party. There was this chick named Rachel there, a notoriously crazy girl who was known for causing trouble anywhere she went. 

She was also a pretty big girl, maybe 5'9, broad shoulders. Anyway, out of nowhere she just starts screaming at another girl, Sarah, a shorter, skinny thing, who was seriously on the other side of the room doing absolutely nothing. 

Rachel gets up in her face, starts cursing her out, pushing her multiple times, obviously just trying to start a fight for the hell of it. 

Rachel finally decides to throw a punch, and I kid you not, like a flash of light, Sarah just launches at Rachel, starts beating the living hell out of her face, knocks her on her butt and strongholds Rachel's hair, and starts slamming her head on the brick fireplace in the house.   

I think she must have knocked Rachel out for a minute because Sarah decided she was done and just stood up and walked away. Turns out Sarah's older sister was a competitive female boxer, and showed her a thing or two about fighting. Definitely the best girl fight I've ever seen.

iamafoxiamafox

There's this old miserly-looking man with a nickel who seems to just ride the subway all day. The nickel man only seems to have one purpose in his life, he sticks his hand out with a nickel on his palm, and he just points it at you. It's like he's asking you to look at his plain ol' nickel. He's like a reverse panhandler.

One night, I was coming home, drunk, and saw the Nickel guy. He was doing his usual rounds, and he came to me. He stuck out his hand, and like usual you just let him be. 

But I was tipsy and I pulled the nickel out of his hand. Within seconds, he went from normal nickel guy to crazy “rip your face off” yelling angry gorilla man. Till I put it back, and he became a normal nickel guy again. I was mortified.

mejor_lazer

I live in front of a Hospital parking lot. Some guy in an expensive car cut in line. A lady in a van was super pissed off and kept honking. He got out to calm her down. 

She got out, ripped off her wig, and started screaming and pointing at the cancer center entrance. He looked like he wet himself and got back in his car. Still stayed where he cut in line though.

ChatOChoco

Two drunk guys were bugging this local busker, trying to get him to fight them, saying all sorts of racist stuff (the busker was black). 

The busker just lost it, obviously, he had to deal with a ton of drunk guys. He picked up his guitar and hit one of the drunk guys across the face with it.

I called the police when I saw it, and later got called in to give evidence against the drunk guys, who got arrested, saying that they started it.

stone_opera

I work in a law office and regularly have to file documents with the court. I have learned, from watching one interaction, not to mess with the clerks at the filing window.

A lot of people probably don't know/wouldn't believe how detailed the rules are for submitting documents to the court. 

There are rules regarding the type of paper you can use, the exact spacing of the heading on the paper, the exact measurements of the two-hole punches at the top of the paper, etc. There are literally dozens of rules on how to format your filings.

In my experience, these rules are rarely enforced. The clerks will reject documents if there are major errors (missing signatures, incorrectly filled out, etc.) but will usually let things slide like your two-hole punches not being precisely 2 3/4 inches apart. 

But there was one day when I saw a clerk take sweet revenge against someone who totally had it coming. I was standing in line, waiting to file something, and a notoriously huge prick of an attorney got called up to the window.

The clerk asked him something like "I'm really sorry Mr. [notoriously huge prick], but you're missing [some attachment] to this form." He reacted as if she had just stood from her chair, flipped him the bird, and started yelling and cursing at him.

He starts yelling about how she didn't know what the hell she was doing, a trained ape could do her job, he would be complaining to her supervisor, and on and on. 

He goes stomping away, and she looks much calmer than you would expect for someone who just got reamed out by this enormous douchebag.

I get called up to her window and say something like "I am so sorry you had to deal with that." She replies "It's fine, he's on my list now." I'm curious so I ask what she means.

Her response was fantastic. She says "Mr [notoriously huge prick] handles a lot of family law cases. He'll be wanting to file things here, and his paperwork is bound to land on my desk. 

For people like him, I get out the formatting sections of the rules of court, and I make sure he's followed every one of them." She points to my filing and says "Your two-hole punches look off. Do you see how one is higher than the other? 

They are supposed to be a certain distance from the top of the page. I'm not going to reject yours. But next time he drops something off at the filing box, you better believe I'm going to bust out my ruler."

I say how awesome that is, but once he sees the reason his document was rejected, he'll just have an assistant fix it or whatever. She replies "We don't have to tell him why it was rejected specifically, just that it violated some rule of formatting. 

He can figure that out for himself if he ever wants to have another document filed." She looked so, so happy.

BreatheMyStink

I lost it at a Subway a while back. This story isn't about me losing it at a person myself, but I found someone who could and did.

The Subway I go to is inside a skating rink and on this day, it was flooded with newly pubescent boys thinking that treating people like trash is how you act like a "Macho Man."

One girl behind the counter was near tears, and the other woman was trying to hold her own ground against a bunch of ~13-year-olds.

It was "You damn rat, I didn't freaking ask for mayo!" - "Are you blind? For god’s sake, that's not toasted enough!" - "When I get a job, I'm gonna be making more than you!"

Just a taste of some of what I heard. So I went out to the lobby of the skating rink, found a woman nearby, and asked her if she was with the "Boys at the sandwich place," which she was and then I told her to follow me.

The look on the boys' faces when she let out her angered screech after listening to them was priceless. She made the boys pay for their own food, one boy didn't get to finish "making" his sandwich ("Wrap it up how it is and he'll pay for it!"). 

And from what I gathered as she practically dragged them out of there, the boys who weren't hers she was going to speak to their parents followed by strong protests as she told them to "Pack their crap," as she was taking them home early.

I left the girls at that sandwich place a nice tip, and they gave me a cookie. Never mess with an angry mom.

Cananbaum

I was working in a sketchy part of Albuquerque when I realized a guy was following me through the parking lot. I started walking faster so did he. 

I knew I wasn't going to get into my car before he reached me so I took the knife out of my purse, turned around, shoved it in his face, and yelled "IM FROM WISCONSIN I CAN GUT I DEER". Dude took off and I got in my car shaking.

Sarahm0ses

I am a pretty calm person, but when someone treats someone badly, it makes my blood boil. I have calmed down with age, but one story comes to mind.

In 6th grade, a boy named Logan would constantly pick on another classmate named Dustin. Dustin was born with a defect. His legs did not fully form (he had prosthetics) and he had other issues which required him to wear a diaper. 

In all other ways, Dustin was a happy and cool dude. He was just given a bad hand in life. Logan was constantly picking on Dustin. 

He would call him Peg Leg, make fun of his mother for making a deformed baby, and occasionally made fun of the fact he had to wear a diaper.

Logan usually got away with doing whatever he wanted because his family had money and power in our town. My sweet English teacher (where Dustin, Logan, and I all shared a class) would send him to the Principal constantly.

Finally, it came to a boiling point. We sat alphabetically in class. I sat at the front desk, Logan behind me, and Dustin behind Logan. As Dustin was walking to his desk, something inspired Logan to trip Dustin. 

Dustin, walking with a cane, obviously tripped badly and hit the wall. I saw red. I stood up, and punched Logan so hard in the chest that he fell over two rows of desks. 

He gathered himself and stood up screaming "DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE DID TO ME?!" My teacher had this small smirk. She said..."I saw nothing." Logan never spoke to Dustin again.

DoubleVSquared

A drunk/High as hell guy on the bus kept saying really rude things about this woman. Her husband was right next to her, and a short white guy, got in this guy's face. 

The messed up guy gets up to hit the white dude, the white dude socked him in the stomach and then he punched him in the face. The drunky got knocked out and his mouth was super bloody.

kiloechoalpha

I was a white water raft guide and had an obnoxious older man in my boat who kept throwing strokes on me (aka putting his paddle in the water when I was telling him to stop).

He was fighting with his wife the entire time down the river & she kept telling him to knock it off because I guess this was the annual family vacation & plus she knew it was awkward for ME to be listening to all their drama. 

He was rude, obnoxious, and mean. He had two kids in the boat as well & they looked uncomfortable and sad.

We came up to a rapid with an infamous rock of if I tap it with my left side the person sitting up front almost always will get dumped out. Right before we came on this rapid, I had the man switch with his son (who was sitting in front left)

Yes… I rammed into that rock & he got to swim down some class 4 rapids. He wasn't happy. But he definitely didn't put his paddle in the water anymore unless I told him to.

The best part was when we got off the river, he stalked off complaining about how wet he was and whining about how he "almost died" When he vanished his wife handed me a $100 tip.

[deleted]

I was tending bar at a dive when I was in college and this guy Dave came in every day, had two beers, and left. He was a pretty quiet guy and basically just kept to himself. He wasn't particularly big but he wasn't small either.

One day, two rednecks came in right after we opened and started pounding beers. When Dave came in, they smarted off to him as he walked by but he ignored them. 

I poured his first beer and told the guys to leave him alone. They didn't. Just being total jerks. I told them I was closing their tab and they had to go. As far as they were concerned, Dave was the reason they were getting kicked out.

One of the Rednecks stood up and proceeded to tell Dave that he would kick his butt for being such a coward. He responded with, "I've done enough fighting in my life." The way he said it was cold. Dave had obviously seen some stuff.

All of a sudden, the redneck punched Dave in the side of the head while he was still sitting on the bar stool. Dave casually stood up and started taking his coat off and the redneck hit him square in the cheek. It was a full-blown knock to the jaw. Dave did not even flinch.

The other redneck that was still seated said, “damn…” Not like “DAMN Oh You got hit!” It was more like, “Damn, Leroy… you’re done.”

Dave calmly finished taking his jacket off, placed it on the back of the chair and the redneck went to throw another punch.

Dave caught the blow with his hand, grabbed the redneck by the face like he was palming a basketball, and in one fail swoop slammed his head against the side of the bar. 

Dave then dragged him through the bar – still by his face – and carried him out the back and threw him in the dumpster...again...still by his face.

When Dave came back in, he started over to the other mouthy redneck, who at this point was making a run for the door, and Dave kicked him in the middle of the back, bending his entire body backward into the shape of C. 

The sheer momentum of the kick ended up slamming him face-first into the big wooden door that only opened inward. The dude stood up and it looked as though his face had exploded.

Dave came back over, calmly apologized, and said he was just glad he didn’t do more than that. I totally believed he meant that. 

He said he wouldn’t come back so as not to cause any more trouble and I made absolutely sure he knew he was 100% good in my book. Dave never paid for another beer as long as I worked there.

ThePurple5

In high school, between classes, a couple of the defensive backs on our football team thought it would be funny to run full speed into the open doors to knock over the students who were leaving the classrooms. 

After seeing this happen a few days in a row I (the football team's starting defensive tackle), decided to post up behind the door. After I felt the thump of my fellow teammate hit the door, I emerged from behind the door to find him lying on the ground. 

I reached out a hand and helped him to his feet. Then I told him "Hey man, you gotta watch where you're going. There's a door there".

acaladar

I joined the middle school football team and kept getting rhino'd in the butt by the biggest kid in middle school. He was 6ft, easily 260 lbs. I wanted him to stop, so naturally, I turned around to push him away. 

I ended up somehow magically hitting him in the face really hard. I have never ran faster in my life after that. Sorry big red, I didn't mean to hit you in the face.

Xphelio

My little sister was in high school and this much bigger, fat girl kept putting her dirty sandals on the back of my sister's chair. My sister politely told her to stop. 

She kept doing that, so my sister knocked her feet off the back of the chair, but this girl kept putting her nasty sandals on the back of my sister's chair, even rubbing her sandals in my sister's hair.   

So my sister calmly walked over to her and beat her in the face until the teacher pulled her off.

catcatmewow

After drinking and partying in the Honch outside our base in Japan, my friend and I went to the on-base taxi stand to go back to the barracks. We hail and start climbing into the first open cab we see. 

This drunken white guy was running for it but we beat him to it, we didn't see him. Anyway, he's furious and starts yelling at us (two girls, one Latina, the other black), "You stupid damn (n-word)!"

And then a group of about 6 black sailors came around the corner to the stand. I don't know how it happened. Maybe Paul Mooney summoned them.

Anyway, the white guy changes his mind and ends up walking (running) to the ships. A fight didn't break out though.

milkcustard

Two kids, about 11 years old, were messing with this 9-year-old kid by instigating their little sister to go hit and kick him, with the threat that they would beat him with a hockey stick if he retaliated.

The poor 9-year-old pleaded with them to stop, but when they wouldn't, he charged the kid with the hockey stick, took it from him, chased them off, threw the stick over the fence, and continued to saunter home.

I witnessed this from about 50 feet away at age 13. It took place in about a minute and while I was contemplating a way to help the kid out, he just took matters into his own hands like a G. That little kid was not the one to mess with.

benito823

A super drunk kid couldn't get into a bar because it was at capacity but he kept giving the bouncer crap. He continues to get up in the bouncer's face and the enormous bouncer is saying something like "I'd love for you to swing at me. Go ahead." 

Naturally, the drunk kid throws a wobbly punch and is subsequently picked up and pile-driven into the ground. The bouncer then got a few kicks in for good measure. Legit could have destroyed the kid. That said, I doubt he will be getting in the face of a bouncer again. Provided he still has mobility in his extremities.

ezioauditore_

When I played hockey, I got kicked out of a game early so I had to watch it from the stands. A guy from the other team was chasing one of my teammates around the ice slashing him and trying to get him to fight.

Finally, my buddy dropped his gloves and proceeded to give this dude a good beating. The teammate went on to become an enforcer in the NHL.

[deleted]

I live in a college town where a certain population is rich, out-of-state kids who come here for the skiing and legal pot. One night, around 1:00 am, I was leaving the bars and saw one such gentleman. 

He was dressed in standard "my dad is a lawyer and will sue you" clothes: pastel button-down, backward hat, khaki shorts, and sperries. He was also very, very drunk.

He was being a general inebriated nuisance as he walked towards his car. He walked into a middle-aged, slightly pudgy guy wearing jeans and a black shirt. 

The young guy started throwing obscenities at the middle-aged guy, just being a jerk. As the young guy turned to get into his brand-new Audi A4, the older gentleman said,

"You aren't planning on driving, are you?". The young guy stopped, collected his thoughts, and then turned to sass the older gentleman. "Hah, I drive better drunk while getting head than you ever could."

The old guy said something about how he would recommend not doing that, and the young guy shouted back. By this point, the young guy is screaming and he throws the drink he was carrying.

At this time, I realized that there were a couple of other guys with the old guy - also nondescript, also bald, also wearing jeans. You know... kinda would look good in aviators. Kinda got mustaches. Kinda got that cop feel to them.

So then, as the young guy throws his drink and hits one of them, one of the plainclothes police officers pulls out his taser and tazes the hell out of the young guy. 

I mean, more than is necessary. He goes down, screaming, while his bros and sorostitute girlfriend watch. His buddies consider getting involved, then back off when the police identify themselves.

Remember how he was wearing khakis? Yep, big brown patch in the middle when he got arrested. So good.

persondude27

My father is a bona fide badass. One evening, he was alone at one of his favorite restaurants, and a guy would not stop messing with the waitress. So he just stared at him. 

After a minute, the guy says, "What are you staring at?" My dad says, "A jerk." The guy jumped out of his seat to fight, and Dad knocked him out with one punch and dragged him outside. 

He stuffed him in a trash can. The family that owned the restaurant was always happy to see him and treated him like an honored guest whenever he ate there.

MyDefaultAnswerIsNo

I worked with a waitress/bartender who was pretty seasoned. One day, she came to work in a brand-new car. I asked why. This spoiled brat with tons of money had too much at her bar the night before so she cut him off. 

He proceeded to smash into her windshield. She didn't call the cops, still closed down the bar, vacuumed, washed glasses, and didn't make even a little fuss to the owners. 

Then she parked out front of his gate (he has a gate) and honked until he stumbled out (this is super late at night), and told him:

1-he was paying for her new windshield.

2-he was going to take it in and have the work done.

And 3-she was taking the keys to his new truck so she could get around in the meantime. And if he didn't agree, she'd call the cops. 

And she was so outwardly unrattled by the whole thing, while most women I've met would have escalated it with lawyers, cops, male relatives/boyfriends for muscle, played the victim, and complained to management. And I was a little afraid of the guy tbh. He had crazy eyes.

Croutonianemperor

My mom was a teacher in Pittsburgh in the 60s and told a bunch of stories about how she was a clueless country girl. It was a very tough, inner-city school, and she got a lot of crap from the kids, who chewed up and spat out the do-gooder white chicks every year.

Then, one day, she leaves the apartment line usual, stops at the diner for coffee, says hi to the newspaper stand dude, gives the homeless guy on the corner a cigarette and a light, walks into school, and the kids are sitting and quiet and oh so very compliant. This is good, but strange.

She doesn't find out for a couple of weeks, and only because another teacher clued her in. One of the kids saw her walking either home or to school, and word spread. 

That "homeless dude" on the corner is apparently a mob boss (or someone quite high in the Organization), and the kids think that she's actually friends with him and that he would, you know, know if she was having a bad day.

A couple of months later, she cemented her reputation for getting in this (big) kid's face, confiscating his toy, and doing the whole march-him-out-the-door-by-his-ear bit. Again, my mom is clueless, and this kid was the 60s equivalent of a gangbanger, and the "toy" was actually a real gun. 

However, the kids think she knows and doesn't care because she has courage in addition to her mob connections.

I'm told she didn't have many bad days for the rest of the school year. My dad ended up going to England for a postdoc a couple of years later (partly to avoid the war, I would guess) so she stopped teaching.

mmmsoap

I'm still proud about this, although I probably shouldn't be. I worked as a bouncer in a club for a while. I don't really look the part, but I can both dish out and take physical punishment without much trouble.

A male drunk customer was messing with a female customer. I don't know how it started, but she came to me and asked me to help her, so I told him to leave her alone. 

He mumbled something about me wanting to steal his "target" (yes, he used that word), and apparently didn't realize that I worked in the club, even though I had the bouncer ID pinned to my shirt.

He tried to punch me but was too drunk to hit me properly, so I grabbed him and literally carried him outside.

PuzzledKitty

At a concert, a dude pushed my friend out of the way so my friend pushed him back. The dude stopped going where he was going and turned around to push him again, my friend turned around and the dude realized my friend was a foot taller and built to play rugby.

Some might try and back off at this point, he decides to toss his bottle at my friend's face. 

After bouncing off his forehead my friend tackled him down a nearby hill and by the time I got to them (like 10 seconds later, wasn't dressed for hill climbing), my boy had pinned him down his stomach first and punched the back of his head repeatedly. 

I pull him off and after a bit of him threatening to spend the rest of the evening chasing him down, I persuade him to calm down because the doctors are scared of him and his head is bleeding.

The dude scampered while that was happening and no one was reported dead the next evening so yeah I don't know who he was but he owes me.

KojimaForever

So a friend of mine, let's call him Erik, looks just like a normal guy, he is very soft-spoken and usually very kind, he can take a joke at his expense and laugh along with everyone. 

However, Erik used to be a fighter, he used to get into fights all the time and when he fights, he fights to win by whatever means he has.

So, me and some friends were out drinking and Erik was with us, we sat down next to some other guys and we just talked and laughed and had a merry time. 

Then one guy in the other party was irritated at Erik because he did not rise to any sort of challenge, all verbal jibes Erik just laughed at and returned in a good manner so to speak.

So this other guy got more and more irritated at Erik over time, and this other guy was pretty big but not huge or anything, maybe 6 foot tall, and looked to be fit.

Erik is 5'8 or so and just looks like a normal guy, so this other guy started to really mess with Erik verbally, and Erik just asked him to stop because it wasn't funny and it ruined the mood in general. 

This made the other guy even angrier so he got up and into Erik's face saying something like "You’re such a coward, you would never dare to get into a fight".

Erik, still sitting down, just grabbed him, tripped him, and forced him down to the floor where he just controlled the other guy who was more or less helpless.

Both Erik and the other guy got thrown out of course, the other guy didn't have the sense to understand he had been beaten so maybe 20 steps outside he tried to sucker punch Erik, he hits Erik in the face and Erik got really mad so he just beat the other guy into a quivering mess on the street. 

A broken nose and maybe a tooth or two got knocked out for the other guy, Erik maybe a sore cheek.

Baronmad

On a cruise with friends for vacation, hit it off with this cute couple from the Midwest. The girl is a petite but fiery redhead, and the guy is a 6ft2 ex-marine. Both are super nice. We round a corner one day and a guy runs into ex-marine husbando. 

He accidentally drops his drink. Cue the sounds of “You jerk, watch where you're going, this wasn't free, you're gonna pay for it", etc. Completely drunk dirtbag, obviously oblivious that he is thrash-talking the Hispanic equivalent of John Rambo.

The wife decked him. Once. Then she snuck in behind him, kicked him behind the knee, and put him into a choke-hold. Asked very nicely to apologize to her husband.   

Guy was almost crying at this point, and the husband said something to the effect of "Let him go, love, he ain't worth the effort.". Turns out wifey is a cop and a Krav Maga instructor.

The wife lets go, drunkard scrambles up, calls us crazy, and leaves. He avoided us for the rest of the trip.

hyugafan

Some guy I know who's the usual internet expert on everything was going on about how to deal with changes in pressure in an airplane. Another guy told him how to cope with it, recommending the Valsalva maneuver. 

Internet expert got all huffy and insisted that the guy was full of it. The guy said, "Oh, I dunno. That's what I learned during astronaut training." Turns out the guy really was a multi-mission NASA astronaut. 

Fortunately, Mister Expert was very gracious about it and we all had a good laugh. I think they shared a couple of shots of single malt after that.

[deleted]

When I was bouncing, we were kicking two idiots out. Once outside, they decided to double-team one of the doormen - the cooler in fact. Then the father of one of these numpty's decided to help since his son was being "attacked." 

Three punches were landed, three idiots were unconscious, and the father wound up in a coma for a few days. Since our bar was smart, we had camera coverage everywhere and the police cleared it without hesitation.

Tower-Union

One day, my dad and I were setting up our boat for a quick sail and a guy came up to us and started complaining about how we drove in way too fast. 

Boat ramps bring out the absolute worst in people. I tell the guy and my dad to calm down and just leave it. He says, "Shut up, leave this to the men." 

My father, who has the boat's 100 lb. mast in his hand, loses it, throws the mast at the guy, and starts beating this dude. Never ever insult a man's daughter in front of him. Especially when he has a 100 lb. metal stick in his hand.

asilli

After a car accident during a road trip, a kid driving the other car gets out and starts walking over all puffed up trying to look tough. 

When the other car we're traveling with pulls up behind our truck,  [Unplanned, but perfect timing], all 6 of us full-grown men get out and start walking up you could "literally" see his privates shrink.

fupos

Back in high school, my friend got rearended and the other driver decided that he could easily take advantage of a kid. Tries to get my friend to admit blame, yells at him the entire time, and gives my friend all false information. 

My friend was stoic, didn't say anything and just insisted they let their insurance companies work out the damages. The jerk forgot to put a fake license plate on his car that morning and obviously, that was the first thing my friend wrote down. 

A few weeks later, my friend got a call from his insurance company asking him to confirm the information he had provided about the other driver, then informed him that no such person existed. 

My friend was devastated and asked the insurance lady what would happen. She responded, "Well thank god honey you got his license plate we ran it and will be suing him for insurance fraud." My friend is now a lawyer.

armadillolord

I was walking around Bourbon Street in New Orleans. A douche guy in a University of Michigan shirt (probably named Kevin or Chad), jumps in a puddle and the water splashes onto a woman and her much older Southern gentlemen husband.

He's all like "Sir you need to apologize". Kevin is all like "NaNaNa Ball Tap" and stumbles at Mr.Dixey. Old Jeb throws 3 tight jabs and shoves a now fat-lipped Kevin into the puddle. I walk by and say "That's what I call a Hurricane"

ooo-ooo-oooyea

When I got to High School I was recruited to the freshman football team. At the time I was the biggest freshman around but nowhere near as big as the seniors. 

During daily doubles, in the hottest time of the year, I get told to go practice with the varsity team. There's this guy named Miller who's the star linebacker for the school. There are banners all over the school that say "It's Miller Time!"

Turns out this was something he said before he knocked you out. Cause I'm supposed to play offensive lineman against this guy who's like 220 lbs and 6'4". 

So I'm totally freaked out. He lines up, gives his "it's Miller Time, frosh" (short for freshman), and then launches at me full force. The thing is, he didn't know I had been training in Aikido for 10 years and was the youngest black belt in the state. 

As useless as Aikido is for anyone but Steven Segal, the next thing Miller knew, he was face down in the dirt and I casually walked over him. Coach laughed hard, then made Miller run laps till he passed out, I spent the rest of the year hiding from him.

fevenbach

I was out at a club with a bunch of friends. Come to find out a few of them exchanged words with some dudes in the bathroom. Okay. 

Later, as we're getting ready to leave, one guy in our group comes back from smoking outside and lets us know the guys from the bathroom have rallied a few dudes and are waiting for us outside. 

Okay. We hit the exit as a group: 15 dudes, no one shorter than 6 feet, all doing our best to look hard. No one said anything to us. So, at that moment, we were the dudes that they shouldn't have messed with. 

The next day, came to find out these same dudes that were waiting for us found a homeless dude and beat him hard. So, apparently, a little while after we left, these dudes were the dudes you shouldn't mess with.

CowboyLaw

My children and I went to the same household abroad, twice. The first time, my son was only a year and a half and was bullied by an older child. 

He was choked, the child was probably five or six, and everyone stood there watching like idiots, and some looked like they were amused.  I broke that up super fast, but what happened over two years later almost made up for it.

I had my daughter by then. When SHE was a year and a half, we visited the same household. (relatives of ex-husband-to-be). The same boy approached her. He must have been six or seven by then.

She looked at him, and before he even had his hand out, she had grabbed him by his hair, and was beating the hell out of him. She had him in such a grip, the other kids could not separate them. 

Her face was a thing of beauty. I really think she could have left him a bloody pulp if allowed. I was so proud. Oddly enough, nobody was amused this time.

undead_ramen

Several years ago, two friends and I were partaking in some underage drinking, in a park, late at night. Two jerks we knew from high school came over and, to be fair, were nice enough to talk to and we shared some beers and chatted. 

Our groups didn't get on so this was uncharted territory. Eventually, they say, "Right, we're going, see you later lads." One of my dudes noticed one of them stealing like 4 bottles from our crate and tells him to put them back. 

So this idiot decides to square up to my dude and hit him over the head with a full beer bottle, but it didn't crack and my dude was kind of shaken up a bit. 

My man then proceeded to throw this idiot through a fence so hard the whole fence came down, picked him up and laid him down on the broken fence and kicked the hell out of him. 

GSP would be like "Damn idiot!" at the ground and pound distributed onto this idiot. It was brutal. The guy's stupid friend just stood there in fear and eventually me and my other dude had to drag him off of this guy. It was brutal, beautiful justice.

[deleted]

I was in a subway station in San Francisco, Church Street, and this was almost twenty years ago. There was a well-dressed older Asian man, probably in his seventies as I recall it. 

A particularly dirty panhandler was giving him a hard time on the platform, asking for money and being really aggressive about it. The nicely dressed older gentleman reached into his pocket, withdrew a handful of change, and tossed it lightly into the air between himself and the street urchin. 

When the bum looked up at the money, the old man karate-chopped him right in the throat and the dude went down hard. The bum didn't get up and the old man just calmly walked a few steps away and continued to wait for the train.

SanFransicko

I had a bully named Bunny (her real name) in junior high. I have mild cerebral palsy and I just had surgery. So, here I am in the bus line on crutches in a cast up to my hip.  

She mouths off one too many times. I shove my crutches away from me I go flying through the air with my leg jutting out like a bad wing. I slam into her knocking us to the ground. 

Her eyes are huge! I get my face two inches from her face and say "I could mess you up bad! You are a piece of crap and I don't want to get my hands dirty!" 

People helped me up. After that, she would occasionally say something. If I stepped towards her, she would jump.

Karenswalk

When I was in the fifth grade, I pissed off the "special" kid in our class by cutting him in line. He was a really big guy, and he'd get these fits of bloodlust when he got really angry that scared the hell out of the other kids.

Anyways, I cut this kid in line like an idiot and it actually takes him a while to process it. 

So as I'm walking out of the cafeteria I just hear this loud roar (and it was a roar), and turn around to see what my ten-year-old eyes interpreted to be the Incredible Hulk barreling towards me, ready to crush my 4'11" self with his retard strength.

There was actually a moment, just before the teachers managed to throw themselves in between us, where I legitimately thought I was going to die. My thoughts went from "I can't wait to dig into this pizza" to "Welp, I guess I a good run. Goodbye world".

[deleted]

I actually have two good stories. The first one: I once talked crap to someone online who claimed to be a master hacker. This was in the days of AOL. This was back when having an "elite" screen name was super cool. 

Within about three or four minutes, this person started messaging me with my own screen name. No, he wasn't making it LOOK like he was sending me messages with my screen name, he was ON my account. 

After another minute, I was kicked offline. I tried to log back in and he has changed my password. I logged back in with a different account and spoke to him and told him how cool he was. 

He never gave me back my username, but he impressed me and honestly, I had nothing against him. Still have no idea how he did that.

The second one: In high school, I was friends with all the football players. Someone picked on me one day and one of the football players saw. 

He simply walked up to the guy, picked him up, and put him in a trash can. He didn't throw him, he didn't cause a big scene, he simply deposited the guy into a trash can and told him not to mess with me. Awesome.

TwoStories234234

Growing up, I wasn't really a troublemaker, but I do admit that I have done some stupid things.

I was 3-ish and we had guests over. They had brought me a doll. So at some point, I was alone in the living room watching cartoons while everyone was in the kitchen. 

I opened the box with the doll, yeeted the poor doll across the room, and started eating chunks of the cardboard box. 12 years after, I still don't know why I did it. 

When my mum finally came into the living room, she had the most horrified expression I ever saw (I kinda remember the whole thing).

From that point on, she was always paranoid when leaving me alone. I can’t really blame her thought. I would have had a panic attack too if I saw my toddler eating cardboard.

XxxLady_BlancxxX

This may get buried but oh well. I went to a movie with two guy friends in high school. We sat in the back and little did I know they brought quarters to throw at the screen. 

Well, they started throwing them and this guy who was bald and looked 70-ish from behind told us to knock it off. My friends didn't. 

The dude then stands up and turns out to be a shaved head, 6'4, motorcycle gang guy and walks all the way to the back and tells us we have 1 minute to get our butts out of the movie or get them kicked. We ran.

bbatton1287

My brother got mugged once when he was living in Toronto by some random junkie. At the end of the encounter, my brother had the mugger's wallet, knife, and shoes. Still keeps them all on the shelf to this day as trophies.

My brother has been super into martial arts since well before puberty and has been a Krav Maga instructor for 15 years.

sovash