1. Quick but Sweet
Working the window at Mcdonalds late night. Guy orders whatever and pulls up to the window. I'm cooking and handling the window, so I wasn't there when the customer pulled up. When I walked up to the window, I didn't see the man with trash in his lap. I open the window to take his card/cash and he throws a bag of trash at me. I take a step back, bothered that I just got trash thrown at me, and I watch his car speed off. I'm pissed, but there's nothing I can do. A couple seconds later I hear a small bang of metal on metal. I walk to the lobby and look out the windows. The douchebag slammed into a police cruiser who was about to loop around and use the drive thru himself. Of course I also went to tell the officer what just happened inside.
2. Embarrassing Mistake
Standing at the counter of the pizza place I work at. Lady storms in and slams a pizza down on the counter.
"This isn't the freaking pizza I ordered, what the heck are you going to do about?" She asked.
I look at the pizza then at my buddy Nick and turn back to her and say, "Nothing".
She then goes on a long rant telling how we are going to be fired, how stupid and incompetent we were, she actually told me I must be retarded, then asked why the heck we weren't going to do anything?
I said "Because that pizza came from the pizza shop across the street."
I think she actually managed to shrink in size and slink out looking so pathetic and beaten I almost felt bad for laughing till tears dripped down my face as she slunk off.
3. Speeding Karma
Guy comes in and is being a complete jerk. Not wanting to show ID to buy beer even though he looked 20 at the oldest, constantly yelling and swearing. He also had parked in the handicap spot despite not having handicap tags or plates on his car.
One of my regular customers, who is a sheriff's deputy, was also in the store. Saw how the guy was acting. Saw where he was parked. Went out, got his ticket book, and wrote the guy a ticket. Guy realized he wasn't getting his beer, went outside...to find he was getting ticketed. I could not stop laughing.
4. The Ultimate Drop
Worked at a telecom in Canada (I am no longer an employee thank god)
Lady comes in with a broken iPhone is demanding to get a new one for free. If you don't know, in Canada the iPhone 6s is going for about $400 upfront on a two year contract at a minimum $80 plan. She had a good plan, but wanted it for free. She called up our loyalty team in store and spent the next two hours screaming at them. Finally, they agree to a deal, and she is getting it for zero. She looks at me and goes I do not want a case, and AppleCare is a scam. We work on commission, so this essentially meant I was getting nothing and ruining my numbers. She keeps telling me to hurry up through the setup and I was trying to get them out of the store with everything transferred over and set up. She grabs the phone and starts marching off saying I was a terrible employee. She gets three steps out of the store and drops the phone. Shattered screen, and white screen of death. She ran back in asking what I can do. I shrug and went 'Sorry, but AppleCare sure would have helped eh?'
5. Now He Knows
Warehouse worker here.
Customers have to show a card to shop, and even though we're not technically a grocery store, we don't allow pets. One dude tried to power walk past the employee at the entrance door holding a big pit bull puppy on a leash. We stopped him and told him he couldn't bring his dog inside and he LOST IT. He's our best customer and he's here 5 times a week and he owns stock, blah. Whatever. He demanded to know why we don't allow dogs. We explained how it's a food safety issue, especially with an untrained puppy. At this point our manager came over and just waved him through (bc no backbone/customers always right). Well not even 5 minutes later this dog squats in the middle of the main aisle and pees, followed by poop. The man turned so red and dragged the dog towards the exit, abandoning his groceries. We stopped him and asked him nicely to please clean up after his pup. "that's the reason we don't allow them, sir"
6. Things Escalated Quickly
I work at an auto parts store.
This one guy stole some $60 headlights and literally sprinted out the door. We went to look outside to try and get his license plate, just in time to see him speed off, hit a curb, and blow out his tire. We called the cops and the idiot got arrested and had to have his car towed.
7. Pay Your Bill
More than a few decades ago I worked at Denny's.
I had two male customers that decided to dine and dash. Got their license plate number and reported it to the cops and jokingly mentioned that they didn't even tip! Later that night they got pulled over for DUI, cops recognized license plate number from the report, brought them both back to the restaurant and forced them to pay the bill. After he was done paying, the cop just stood there and looked at them and said well? The guy sheepishly handed me my tip.
8. Even Family Cares
Currently at a consignment shop. We have two stories of furniture, and it's only things people bring in for us to sell for some of the profit. A lady came in her with her son (he was 5 or 6) and she looked around. We had two bar-stools and she came up to the desk and said "I'd like to order two more of these bar-stools" I smiled and said "We can't do that, those belong to someone and that's all they had to consign with us." She looks back and says "Well why the freak can't you order ones like this?! I'm sure you can find them online!!" I clench my teeth and smile again, saying "Ma'am we really can't do that. If you'd like to go online you are more than welcome to look for yourself, but I can't help you and I'm sorry." She huffed and started walking to the door, talking about getting me fired.. Making a horrible review of this place.. She then got a nice big face-full of door. It's a push door and it was locked. She looks at me and screams "WHY THE HECK IS THIS LOCKED?!" I have no idea. Then her son looks at her and says "Mommy you were mean to that lady and I don't wanna go till you say sorry". Best. Kid. Ever.
9. Slam Down
As a teenager, I was working part-time at a convenience store. I was being trained by the late-night cashier. This dude comes in and grabs a bunch of cans of vegetables and other stuff, and comes to the counter and stacks the cans in a very specific way, like a weird kind of pyramid on the counter.
As the experienced cashier (my trainer) takes each can of the pyramid and rings it up, she reaches the end of the stack and we realize that the weirdo has his d*ck out and has it laying on the counter behind the cans.
Without saying a word, the trainer grabs one of the big heavy metal cans of beans and slams it down as hard as she can on the guy's d*ck. He screamed an incredible scream of searing pain, grabbed his d*ck, and ran out of the store.
Then she turns to tell me calmly, "You get all kinds on the late shift."
10. Floor Faced
Former cell phone industry worker.
We HAVE to pitch insurance and a case every time you get a new phone. We have to. You can actually be fired from some carriers for refusing to partake in making these suggestions.
During a normal new-line set-up, this insanely rude woman is hostile about every part of the every part of the exchange. Her credit is absolute dog crap so she has to pay a gnarly deposit and more of the phone up front and that's somehow my fault. Finalizing everything before she's completely rung up, I casually offer the same thing I do to literally everyone getting a new phone: Which insurace plan were you interested, and what kinds of cases have you looked at?
Apparently that was the most offensive thing she'd ever heard in her life. She immediately raises her voice and makes it really uncomfortable for me because apparently I'm only accusing her of being clumsy since she's black, and I didn’t charge her white friend near as much and I'm just a racist blah blah. Super fun. I kept my composure and tried calmly explaining everything, even try to let her know that I HAVE to offer that to everyone and I couldnt get anything across. Eventually my coworker lets me know he's got this, we swap places and finish each other's sales. As she steps out of the store looking down at the Galaxy Note 3 she had just spent a total of 500 something dollars to get, she trips, falls, and smashes the screen.
Comes back in asking for help after being mean and we all shrugged in indifference.
11. Locked Out
Working drive thru at a Tim Hortons and some jerk in a massive black truck parked too far away from the window and expected me to lean super far out to give him his change. He was real impatient and just really rude. I just shook my head and so he gets all pissed off and finally gets out of the truck and the door shut behind him. It was locked and he sat there for like 15 minutes and we had to call a tow truck. Sure it pissed off everyone behind him but at least they were all pissed off at him and not us! He acted like it was the biggest embarrassment of his life.
12. Biggest Plot Twist
I was a server during college at an upper scale restaurant. I rarely had problems with customers and am overall genuinely friendly. I had a table for 4 with only 3 patrons there, an older couple with their adult daughter. I served them beverages and was told we were to wait for patron #4, the son.
About 40 minutes and 2 refills go by. I say "I bet you guys are starving by now, would you like me to bring you our lettuce wraps they are small enough to not ruin your appetite, Or are we still waiting for my buddy?"
Father said "we are going to wait, and he isn't you buddy. Frankly you don't know him, he's a hard working man and will be respected"
"You're right sir, forgive me."
"He actually has a real job."
"I understand sir, it won't happen again."
When i come back for refill number 3 the son was arriving. the son happened to be an old high school friend, before taking a seat he gave me a hug right in front of his dad.
I looked at the father and said "small world huh, I can't believe you’re my old buddy [name]'s family. I’m surprised we've never met before with [name] and I spending so much time together in high school "
It's too bad our restaurant didn't serve crow.
13. Power of Glass Door
I work at hotel's front desk. One day we had an Armenian guest who was claiming his room was not up to his standards and decided to make a big deal about it the next morning. He was so rude to the point of almost making a co-worker cry of desperation because she refused to compensate the night as his arguments seemed really fake and invalid. Once he saw he was not going to get nothing back he threw his receipt on the floor and powered walked his way out into a very clean glass door that was recently cleaned. His sunglasses broke causing him a small cut on the upper part of his nose. My co-worker and I couldn't stop laughing the second he walked out even more mad.
14. Unethical Customer
I was a cashier at a grocery store. This guy with a full cart bullied employees until he was allowed to use my express checkout because he didn't want to wait in the regular lines, and my line only had two people in it. As soon as my floor manager allowed him and he had his cart unloaded, a tiny old lady with a walker who could barely stand got in line behind him. Everyone gave him dirty looks. He realized he messed up and tried to make a joke about it. Dead silence. I hope his saved time was worth being a crap.
15. Wrong Fit
I worked in this fancy clothing store in this posh town at the seaside. It was a busy saturday when suddenly a very pretentious girl walked in with her boyfriend, ignoring us as we greated her and even giving my collegue a demeaning look. She went on to browse around in the store and eventually took some clothes with her in the changing booth.
After a while I notice a heated conversation arising from the booth between her and her boyfriend. I see the boyfriend running back and forth between the booth and some clothing racks, in the mean while me and my colleague where being chased away by her (she refused any help and didn't leave the booth) as if we were a couple of Ebola patients.
So me and my colleague continue working and helping other costumers. I was working the register when suddenly the girl turns up next to me, completely pissed off, and she starts ranting about "how our store/brand really should work on the fitting of our clothes and how we were complete screw ups". I was completely caught of guard and right when I wanted to ask her what the exact problem was, I see my colleague looking at the girl while bursting out this horribly loud laugh, tears and all. What had happened was that the girl had taken with her a clothing piece she thought was a strapless dress. Well, it wasn't a dress. It was a skirt. The girl had tried on all sizes and got completely fed up, yelling at us and her boyfriend because the freakin "dress" won't fit. So she walked out in a crowded store, making a scene, with a skirt pulled up to her tits.
I have to admit, after she left I laughed till crying.
16. No Free Food Here
I was working at a restaurant and there was this family who were extremely trashy and didn't look like they had a lot of money despite ordering a bunch of expensive steaks and drinking a bunch of drinks. They were rude the whole time treating me like I was their butler or slave. Then asked for a manager to tell the manager that their steaks tasted rotten (after they finished) and their drinks didn’t taste like they had any alcohol in them (again, finished).. just trying to get free food. My manager noticed the way they were treating me and knew they were full of crap and refused to compensate their meal like they were demanding. They began yelling and cussing him and me and ended up trying to leave without paying. Only to have their car not start in the parking lot and my manager called the police and one of them got arrested for disorderly conduct and drug possession and the rest ended up walking after having their car towed.
17. Road Rage Gone Wrong
Worked at a gas station some odd years ago and the week before it had been snowing a lot so the gas tankers got delayed due to safety reasons. A customer came in a pretty new Mercedes-Benz, something like SLS 400 or something and wanted the premium gas. I explained to him that the tankers are delayed and we currently don't have any premium gasoline and that he could try the next station down the block. He started swearing at me personally like I has control over the gas delivery. He sped off tires screeching only to have his rear tire hit the curb. His rim got messed up really bad and couldn't drive it. I laughed at him.
18. No Room for Karen
I worked at a Pier 1 Imports as a teenager, outside Birmingham, AL. This was about 20 years ago and transgender folks weren't on my radar at all. Anyway, it's near Christmas, I'm at the register with a line of customers waiting. There's a woman huffing about something near the end of the line. By the time she gets up to pay, she's being very loud about the customer behind her. "It's a man! It's a pervert in a dress!" The person behind her was very obviously born a man but was in fact wearing a dress. It didn't really phase me as much as this woman who was doing her best to shame this person, who looked very hurt and embarrassed. And this lady was doing it while buying Christmas decorations, no less. Anyway, she's trying to convince me how wrong and gross it is, how this person shouldn't be in the store, etc. As she's ranting I run her credit card. Declined. I try again. Declined. I have rarely in my life experienced the satisfaction as I did at that moment, looking up at her, smiling, and saying that her card had been declined. Her face got red and she really just went off. "That's impossible! Try it again! You're doing it wrong!" At this point, she has the whole store looking at her. I try again, and very loudly say it is, in fact, declined. She stormed out of there, knocking over a poor Santa statue by the door. I shared a smug grin with the customer behind her.
19. Action Star
Back when I worked at a Blockbuster we'd occasionally deal with thieves. The standard was just to let them go, not endanger employees or customers.
One time this guy Grabs some stuff and bolts. My manager runs after and points him out to two cops that had parked in our parking lot. They give chase. This guy dodges and weaves through people and traffic. He successfully crosses the street with cops on foot. Desperate to lose them, he jumps down some stairs to gain a lead but breaks both legs.
20. Too Much Entitlement
When I was a cashier at Borders, I had this one customer that had either put something on reserve or had special ordered. I remember them getting really rude because I couldn't find it and asked them multiple times what the name was. It eventually turned out that it was placed under her husband's name, so it wasn't my fault I couldn't find it at all. She didn't apologize or anything, so it felt really nice when I swiped her card and it was declined. She felt so embarrassed and just stormed off.
21. Created Bigger Issue
In the auto repair business, we must deal with a lot of passive-aggressiveness from people displeased with having to shell out money for their cars.
Once, a couple arrived to pick up a car which was parked in the first spot nearest the street. The husband was great, and had approved the needed repairs in stride; the wife was a raging woman, debating every line item of the estimate, asking pointless questions, demanding a cheaper price, threatening to take the car elsewhere or "just get a new one!"
Anyway, the man made his way toward the office, but the woman made a beeline for the car, found the keys stashed inside, threw the plastic seatcover to the wind, then started it up and drove off (before the bill had been paid), cutting the turn too sharp and scraping the ENTIRE passenger side of the car badly on the low concrete planter. I saw this happen; the husband didn't. Never saw them again.
22. Mean Mom
I had a woman come into my bank one day years ago in Mid-August and try to cash a check. Said check looked like it had been written by a four year old. We went through the protocol as mandated by our organization, calling the issuer and verifying all data. While we were going through this procedure the woman goes off on a tantrum. She's ripping the little pens with chains from the little desks, throwing deposit slips around, demanding she speak to the president of the bank and verbally abusing all the employees. Likewise, she looks to have done enough speed to stay up for a week straight.
We are finally able to get ahold of the issuer of the check, lo and behold, it's a good check. We cash it. Thank her for her patience. As she's storming out cursing, two officers walk in and identify her as the owner of a car in the parking lot. Said car had a small child, no more that two, locked inside the entire time. 20 minutes, in August. Some good people called the cops, broke out the window and rescued the kid and had the woman arrested. I hope to God that that little kid has found a new home or that the mom has cleaned up her act.
23. Scaredy Cat
Not exactly retail, but food service. At a college football game, my coworker was chewed out by an alumni because the hot chocolate wasn't "chocolatey" enough. All she and I could really do were sit there and apologize because there was nothing we could really do, until the bartender chimed in. This bartender is a former High School teacher, currently a substitute school teacher for all grades K-12, and the look she shot this man could have immediately shut up the cockiest of teenagers. Anyway, she put on her scolding face, and warned him "If you continue yelling at these girls over something they can't control, I'm going to have to ask you and all your friends to leave. I will not tolerate anyone abusing my coworkers." The guy immediately clammed up and hurriedly walked away with his tail tucked between his legs.
24. Total Momzilla
Once I saw a woman being really terrible to her kids. They were maybe 6 and 9 but she was swearing at them (things I have never heard said to an adult) and calling them names they were both crying hysterically just trying to eat their pizza.
The only other table in the place was a trio of construction workers sitting behind them. I had asked the woman several times to calm down but she would just say she wasn't hurting anyone and basically to butt out. She would swear at me and threw a piece of chicken at me as I walked away. I called my manager up but he didn't like to remove customers so he wanted to wait and see if this continued.
Then she smacked one of the little girls on the back of the head. Before my manager of I could react one of the construction workers walked over and He asked the mom to join him at the bar. I think she thought he was hitting on her cause she was all smiles and flirty. As soon as she was away from the kids he told her, "If I see you lay a finger on those kids again I will do the same thing to you but 10 times worse. Have a nice evening."
She immediately left and they followed her to the door. I can only hope she learned something.
25. Instant Karma
When I was 18, I worked the Saturday night graveyard shift at a Jack in the Box in a crap heap part of town. One night, a group of troublesome teens come through the drive thru and order only water (it's free, it's a regular request, our manager always made us give anyone and everyone free water even if that's all they ordered). So these kids pull up to the window and the shift leader started handing out these free waters. When my shift leader handed them the last water, the jerk driver threw the cup of water right back through the open window and started to drive off. Shift leader grabbed the extra large soda on the counter (it was for the car after theirs) and throws it right at their car. It clips the top edge of their open window and sprays the inside of their car with coke. Fast thinking and fantastic reflexes made for instant karma.
26. Cleaning Own Mess
I work at Starbucks. One day as I was working the drive through, we were having longer than normal wait times, as we were short-staffed. This one guy gets up to the window in a huff, and starts yelling at me/complaining about his wait. I apologize and tell him his total. He literally throws his credit card at me, and it bounces off the bottom of the window directly underneath his truck. We look at each other for a second, and then he sends his daughter out of his truck to look for it. I inform them it's right under their truck, so he moves his truck up a bit, gets out, picks it up and hands it to me softly without making eye contact (as he is squeezing himself between the tail end of his truck and the wall of the building), being pretty embarrassed as everyone behind him is watching. It was pretty satisfying.
27. Wrath of Jelly Beans
I used to work at a jewelry store that was right next to a suit shop in a mall. We had a bit of a silly rivalry going with the suit shop guys and were always trying to play tricks on each other.
One afternoon we set out some of those awful puke flavoured jelly beans in our candy dish that one of them would always snack from when he came to visit. It was a really slow day so we didn't think much of it and figured we could stop any actual clients from going for them.
Cue crazy client storming in and being all huffy about whatever it was. She tears a strip right up and down my co-worker and I. We deal with whatever her issue was ( it's been too long to remember but I know it was not worth the fuss she was making) and we are ringing through her purchase. All of a sudden she reaches over and grabs a candy. Co-worker and I just watch and wait for her face to turn from seething anger to just on the verge of vomit. Holy molly it was funny. She never said a darn thing either.
28. In Denial
I used to sell mattresses, which no one really wants to buy. No one’s jacked about buying; they do it because they have to. I get it; everyone that works there gets it.
One Saturday, this cranky old dude comes in, and before anyone can greet him, he's complaining about literally everything. We're trying to help him, but he shoos anyone who approaches him away. Of course, then he turns around to complain about no one helping him.
Dude is old, like I said, and he can't get around well. We recommend he not lay down on an all foam mattress if he won't let anyone help him up. He says something rude and blows us off. He hobbles over to a foam mattress, one that is right next to a wall. This wall also has a TV display sticking about 8 inches out from the wall, and it constantly plays ads.
Old man lays down on the bed and immediately hates it. He sits up, and he realizes it will be difficult for a man in his condition to get off the bed, but he won't ask for help.
Dude launches himself off the mattress and straight into the TV display. My manager loses it. The guy tries to bark at us, but everyone else is too busy trying not to laugh, so he gives up and cranky-walks out of the store.
29. Left Crumbs
I am a bartender/server in a popular corporate bar and restaurant. I deal with a lot, but this was a particularly uncomfortable experience. Loser guy and his trashy gf were rude the entire time. Initially, they wouldn't make eye contact and interrupted my greeting them by ordering two margaritas. They took up my table for two hours, ordered a ton of food, drinks and dessert, all the while treating me like garbage (eye rolling, scoffing, generally being aggressive, sent back an appetizer etc..). I dropped off their check hoping they'd GTFO as soon as possible, honestly didn't care if they tipped and I certainly didn't expect them to. They waited till I bussed another table and went back to the kitchen, wrote "bad service" and drew a d*ck on their check... Then walked out without paying. I discovered this about 3 minutes after they exited the building. By this time, it was 20 minutes to closing. I had no other tables and to my absolute pleasure, that douchebag left his keys and cell phone in the booth. I grabbed my manager and we sat in the booth behind the one they'd just left, knowing they'd either call or have to come back in very shortly. Sure enough, they called, manager answered and politely and enthusiastically told them to come right in. And when they did, I sat there holding the keys and cell phone with a huge smile on my face, while my manager demanded payment for their $129 tab....
30. Brother to the Rescue
Working as the attendant at a self-checkout. A customer became irate when I told him that we could not accept a coupon that had expired over six months previously and called me a "vapid c-word."
Neither he nor I knew up until that moment that my tall, muscular, highly protective older brother was standing in earshot. He grabbed the customer by the shoulder, spun him around, leaned down to get at his eye level and growled "What did you just say to my little sister?" right in his face. Dude practically pissed himself and ran out of the store.
