“Oh Come On”: These are the Silliest Beliefs That People Held Onto For The Longest Time

The beauty of being a child is the innocence that comes along with that…and sometimes the ignorance too. There is no better example of this than the people sharing their stories today.

Read on as you hear the silliest beliefs and misconceptions that people had for the longest time. These will have you go from “aawww” to “what!” the more you read. Enjoy, or better yet, be shocked.

1. Call Me Something Else

I always thought that I would have to change my name when I grew up. I don't know why, but I thought my name was suitable for a child but definitely not for an adult, and I couldn't imagine (being) an adult with my name.

I even talked to my mother about it, saying that at some point we'd eventually have to go to court to have it changed to something more "adult-sounding".

Stubble_Sandwich

When I was really young, I was convinced I was pregnant (I’m a man btw), with a baby cat named Bridget. My family decided to see how long I would believe this so they never told me how ridiculously impossible that was.

I went on believing it for about 5 months (that’s how long little me thought cat pregnancy lasted), and then when the baby never came, I went to my mom and asked when Bridget would be born.

That was when she finally told me that boys can’t get pregnant and humans can’t give birth to cats. I was so completely traumatized.

Little me was so excited to be a cat father, and then it was ripped away from me. I was such a silly kid, but in that moment, reality hurt.

phillanthropist

I was very very young and I blame the Wizard of Oz but I believed that a tornado was just one big phenomenon that continuously happened and spun from state to state and country to country.

I also live in the south so we have frequent tornado warnings and so I vaguely remember a time we had two or three warnings in one week and I was scared the “single tornado” would come to our town and never go away.

ExistentialMeg

When I was a young kid, maybe between 5-9, my dad took me to the tiny grass-runway airport in my town, and we went on a short plane ride in a small Cessna around the valley.

My dad sat in the back, and I was upfront with the pilot. While we taxied off the ramp and out to the runway, I was given permission to move the yoke.

I thought I was steering the aircraft the whole way. I told my mom that I taxied the plane.

 In school, I told my class that I taxied the plane. In fact, it was such a strong memory that I grew up remembering the memory without evaluating the experience.

I was home on leave from A NAVAL AVIATION SQUADRON when I was talking about that flight with my dad, and I was thinking about it... And I had this long pause...

After that, I said, "Holy crap, Dad, I just realized that I wasn't steering that Cessna!" My father laughed so hard that day.

MordicusEgg

I remember watching the movie Cocoon with my grandparents. I could not have been more than 4 years old. For some reason, I deduced that in order to become adults, children had to pass away in these pool cocoons and be reborn old.

I freaked my cousins out and had a whole group of kids crying at a holiday party over our impending doom. I definitely ruined Christmas pictures that year.

jdnursing

I always thought that there was a tiny human inside the TV who executed what the remote was telling him to do. It’s crazy to say out loud now.

For example, when you press the button to increase the volume, he is being hit in a specific way that lets him know that he has to go and manually increase the volume.

GivenNickname

I thought that there would be a baby inside every girl's stomach as soon as she was born and inside that baby's stomach too there would be a tiny baby(the cycle goes on and on).

My thought process was that the baby keeps growing as we grow and after getting married the doctors will cut the stomach and take the baby out to make space for another baby. In my head that theory made perfect sense.

DisastrousContact

My uncle is a priest for an obscure Hindu offshoot religion and he told me quite young that I shouldn’t play sport because each person only gets a set number of breaths in their life and getting out of breath uses them up quicker.

xx

My thought process was that the baby keeps growing as we grow and after getting married the doctors will cut the stomach and take the baby out to make space for another baby. In my head that theory made perfect sense.

DisastrousContact

Growing up, I was vaguely aware of a TV show called Ironsides. It was about a lawyer in a wheelchair and whenever I heard the word “paralegal”, I thought it meant a paraplegic lawyer.

It totally made sense to me that people in wheelchairs could make excellent lawyers, based on the nature of the job and their physical limitations.

Thinking back to it now, I laugh at how I could think of something so silly. But oh well, kids have active minds, right?

cesarjulius

Growing up, I really really thought that those "For Sale By Owner" and the existence of just "For Sale" signs implied that many houses were For Sale NOT By Owner.

I was under the impression that sometimes a random person came to your house and put it up for sale without your consent.

Little did I know that I was on the brink of the concept of foreclosure. Years later, as an adult, it’s quite funny to think.

sad-but-hydrated

I don't know what I thought, but I remember being at my great-grandmother's funeral, and asking my mom why my Grandma was crying.

When she replied "She is sad because her mother died" I was like *head explodes* So THAT'S why we had to go visit her all the time.

I just assumed she was this random old lady and I didn't like to visit her, because I couldn't be my rambunctious chatty little 4-year-old self. (My mom is a shusher)

I then had to ask about all of our other relatives.

tripperfunster

I was 4 years old when my great-grandma passed away. I remember sitting with my grandma and she explained that great-grandma was her mom, so that kind of helped me understand why she was so sad.

As I was digesting what she said, I then asked, "Are you going to get a new mommy now?" That made her laugh, so at least I was able to comfort her just a little. It was a little moment of joy.

DP487

I anthropomorphized everything as a kid. I also felt bad for the food I ate and for stepping on grass. The worst was stuffed animals.

I remember we had a Christmas thing at school in first grade in which everybody brought a gift and then the teacher drew numbers to see who would get to pick the next gift.

There was a HUGE Cabbage Patch tea set that all of the girls were drooling over, including me. Well, my number was called first, but I skipped the tea set and picked up this dirty old teddy bear.

The reason for that was that I could not stand the thought of him sitting there watching as everything else got picked before him.

[deleted]

My Dad lost his wedding ring in the Bay during a fishing trip. He'd lost weight, his hand was wet and probably fish-slimy, and it just fell right off and was lost forever to the water. I was absolutely inconsolable.

It took my parents quite a while to get me to calm down enough to be able to explain why I was so upset about it. I thought it meant they were no longer married anymore. Lol.

wirwarennamenlos

I grew up around the time of the release of the Star Wars prequels. I vividly remember asking my brother why they released the sequels (New Hope etc.) before they released The Phantom Menace.

It absolutely made no sense when I was 11 and a prequel was a wild new concept to me. 

He had me convinced, embarrassingly until I was about 15/16, that there was a reason why this had happened.

He said the reason they released the sequels first was because "There was a fire at the studio and it burned all the original tapes so they had to reshoot them."

iChatShit

Not something I believed, but a harmless prank I used to play on my kids. There is a highway we use that has several long, gentle curves over a 5-6 mile stretch.

One day when my younger son complained that the sun was in his eyes (he was about three at the time), I had the idea to pretend that I had a personal relationship with “Mr. Sun“.

I saw that the highway was going to curve, so I had a conversation with Mr. Sun explaining the situation and asking him to please move over so that he wasn’t shining in my son's eyes.

I drew out the conversation and timed it so that just when Mr. Sun agreed, we would start the curve and it looked like he was moving over and out of my son's eyes.

Then after another curve, the sun would be in my other son's eyes, so I asked politely for Mr. Sun to move again, just as we went around the next curve.

This went on for almost a year before my wife explained to them what was going on. It was hilarious in the meantime.

mrRandomGuy02

When I was younger, well, I thought that Delaware was a supermarket chain. I know that is definitely silly, but in my defense, I'm not American, and I was like 10.

I didn't have much knowledge about world geography at that point except for 'point to the USA. Now point to Australia!'. All that said, I still think it would make for a nice enough supermarket name though.

AfterCommunity

I was watching a movie with my dad wherein the main character had his arm cut off. I turned to my dad and asked, "That's fake, right?"

My dad, very sincerely, said "No, that actor's getting paid a lot of money to have his arm cut off." And all the color drained from my face and I said, "Oh. Okay."  

I was in my early twenties when I had that “ah-ha!” moment where I realized he was messing with me…I laughed hard when I thought of that.

_1963

This is a wild ride, folks. When I was a little girl, my grandpa told our family this story that he used to call "The Chocolate Head." He told us that he was born with a head encased in chocolate, and the doctors and nurses had to eat it off.

Despite already being eaten, the reconstructed chocolate head floated back to him when he was a toddler, telling him, "Remember me? I'm the chocolate head!"

I remember looking all throughout my grandpa's house to seek out this floating, talking replica of my grandpa's head made out of chocolate. Now, my grandpa is on so many medications, that he actually might believe his own story!

[deleted]

Back in the day, when I was younger, I once asked my mom why people had gray hair. Without missing a beat, she simply said, "From having kids."

For many years I thought there was some biochemical process after having kids that caused one's hair to turn gray. I eventually learned differently. Also, I have now figured out where I got my propensity for being a smart bunny.

APIPAMinusOneHundred

One time in high school, I was explaining a space station concept to some friends. You know, the kind where there's a long cylinder in the middle that spins fast enough that the rings attached to it have gravity?

Another friend from across the cafeteria came over all excited because, based on my hand gestures, she thought I was talking about intimacy stuff. She was super disappointed because I was the innocent one in the friend group.

ChaosDrawsNear

My dad taught me that to change the TV channel you use a "remolt" rather than a "remote". I knew that remote was a word, but remolt was also a separate word- what you used for the TV.

I completely believed this, up until l was 17 when I forced my high school boyfriend to look it up in the dictionary to prove he was saying it wrong. My dad still finds this hilarious to this day.

klwilson311

I thought that when (without moving my head) I moved my eyeballs to look around, that meant anything behind me didn't exist for that moment because it was just darkness.

Only things that my eyes can see exist. If I turned around, the world would construct itself quickly, and the world behind me would disintegrate. I spent some time every day spinning around so the world would exist all the time.

busyrobot

I remember throwing a fit right before first grade started because I believed that the reason I was not a grown-up was because my parents wouldn’t let me.

I had the idea in my head that everybody else from pre-school were now grown-ups and drove their cars and went to their jobs and I was still a kid because my parents were forcing me to be one. Ah, good, simple times.

Thirty-seven37

I learned to read much earlier than my peers because I was just fascinated with the idea that thoughts could be put on paper. This led to me reading things I totally shouldn't have read, way too young to grasp them.

As a result, until I was about 12, I understood how the biology of human reproduction operated, and was woefully expecting intimacy to be an unpleasant, messy task that was necessary and expected of me for my role in helping the human race to carry on.

Darnitol1

My dad always said that his mother was a "straight-razor-toting woman." For some reason, I always heard it as "straight razor-toed," so I always pictured my grandma with razor blades instead of toenails.

It used to freak me out. Obviously, what he really meant was that she was a spicy old lady who didn't take crap from anyone, and carried a straight razor in her purse.

I was like 16 when I finally figured it out. I heard him say it again after a long time of not hearing it, and it clicked. They still give me crap about it to this day (which is 14 years later, as I suddenly have the harrowing feeling that I am old as heck and my world is collapsing around my derelict body).

Judoka229

I grew up in Ohio. You know, cows and corn and farms as far as the eye can see. Well, when I was young, I would often see these large hay rolls in the fields.

And a lot of the time, these hay rolls would be wrapped in white plastic. I legitimately thought, FOR YEARS, that these were giant marshmallows, and that this is where they came from.  

I believe they grew out in those fields like plants. And that they were later chopped down to a smaller size before being sold. It took me way longer than I care to admit before I realized the truth.

Squeepy92

I always thought that albino people came from Albania. Silly right? I know. The reason is that I had a friend in kindergarten who was albino.

He left the school in first grade to go to a school in a different state that could tend to his needs better than this school. But my friend told me he went back to Albania. So, I really thought his skin tone was part of his ethnicity.

camillexs

When I grew up, my parents both worked office jobs so they were there from open to close. I thought this was true for all employees of all businesses. This was back in the 80s when 24/7 stores were not very common.

So I thought that if a store was open from 7 am to midnight, that all the employees worked those hours every day the store was open. It took a lot to get me to change my mentality.

GreatJanitor

I thought everybody lived to be exactly 100 years old. I'm not sure why but I just thought that was the universal cut-off age.

I carried that belief from when I first conceptualized death until around kindergarten when I realized that was not correct.

I probably had other beliefs that were just as dumb, if not dumber, but this came to mind first. Now that I’m older, I wish it were true.

hereforthelols223

I thought that Freddy Krueger's glove would come up through the toilet and cut my butt while I was pooping if there wasn’t poop in the toilet. As soon as there was poop in the toilet It wasn’t possible for that to happen.

So I would take my pants off and start pooping a little while I was standing so the poop would hit the water as soon as my cheeks hit the seat.

It’s the dumbest thing that I can remember doing. Thank god my wife told me it was impossible and I was able to get over my fear.

DudeAtWork55

Growing up, I thought that the epitome of adulthood was being able to afford a 24-pack of soda. I had no idea that my family was limiting soda for me and it was basically their coffee in the morning.

So as a child, I always thought when I was an adult, the apex of life was being able to then afford to stock a 24-pack of soda. Now we have a SodaStream and use natural fruits.

RacinGracey

Firstly, I thought that all dogs were boys and all cats were girls (despite growing up alongside a female dog). Secondly, my mum has a cesarean scar from me that looks like a zipper so naturally I thought kids were born that way.

My earliest memory is of being 3 years old and going to see Jurassic Park in cinemas. (I've gotten used to the recurring nightmares.) 

In the scene where Ellie and Dr Hammond are sitting in the dining room talking about fleas and power, I thought they were eating mashed potatoes. It was only a few years ago I figured out it was ice cream.

I also thought that Narwhals were mythical creatures like unicorns or dragons. Again, until embarrassingly recently. Oh last one, I thought the term was 'ticker-take parade' until the first time I saw it written down. A year ago.

bectorious

Back when I was 10 years old, I found it very painful to chew on one side of my mouth. So I just chewed on the other side. I never even mentioned it to my parents or anything.

In my head, I thought that just as I am more proficient with writing with my right hand, I am more proficient at chewing with the one non-painful side of my mouth.

Nope. Turns out I needed a root canal.

Lnzy1

When I was younger, I sincerely thought that there were 5 Gods. One English-speaking, one German-speaking, one Arabic-speaking, one Turkish-speaking, and one French-speaking God.

Those were the only languages I knew so I thought every language needed their own God to understand the prayers. I come from a strict Muslim household which makes me even more stupid.

Alyazmalim57

My silly self legit thought people could get pregnant by kissing. Not that surprising for say, a seven-year-old, but I was 14 when my freshman health teacher had to explain to this silly teenage girl that yes, you can kiss your boyfriend and not worry about a baby.

The worst part? I have a huge family, I’m the sixth of seven kids. When I brought this up to my parents at twenty they were shocked.

They had given the talk to all my siblings, even my little brother. THEY FORGOT TO GIVE ME THE TALK. It was quite an experience.

doodlemaster-997

Well, not me but when we were younger, my brother believed that if a Ferrari was driving at 50 Km/h and our Volvo was driving at 50 Km/h the Ferrari would be faster. He was adamant about this belief.

No matter how much it was argued that they were going the same speed he would not accept it at all. To him, we were all wrong. His view was if the Ferrari is not any faster then why own a Ferrari?

Hoboswind

I was terrified to keep my window open during summer at bedtime because I would hear beeping in the distance and thought aliens were coming to get me.

I eventually moved my room to the basement because I was so scared. It wasn't until many years later I found out the beeping was forklifts unloading trucks at the warehouse on the other side of the woods near my house.

arb1987

When I was younger, around the time I was 4 years old, I remember vividly crying in the back seat of my father's car as I had the staunch realization that I would have to have a baby someday.

I said "I don't want to have any babies when I grow up!" as I kept sobbing uncontrollably at the thought of the pain I would have to endure during labor.

Oh here’s the fun twist? I'm a male.

ahwhawatchout

Until I was about 5, I thought we lived “in” the earth as opposed to “on” the earth. This wasn’t like a passing thought either.

I used to ask a lot of questions about the sun and how Americans were lucky enough to get the ‘top floor’ so to speak. It took months before my dad realized what was going on and went and got me a globe with a cutaway. Seemed like an awful waste of space.

fox-mcleod

I thought that if you placed 3rd in a race or competition, you were better than 1st place. In school, we had a Father’s Day activity where we drew a picture of our dads and then our teacher would come and write “Number 1 Dad” at the top of the page.

Because of what I believed though, I had her write “Number 3 Dad” instead. My dad couldn’t stop laughing when I brought it home.

ingham210

Oh man, where do I start? First, I thought that I should be older than my brother because my birthday was in August and his was in September..... he was born 6 years before me.

Second, I thought that girls peed out of their butts due to the fact they had to sit down to pee. Third, I thought that when we moved from Michigan to Indiana, we were basically "trading" houses with the people whose houses we were moving into.

LightningStryk

At some point early in my childhood, I asked my mother "What is the twitching sensation that I feel under my skin?" and I assumed that she responded with "nerves" but I misheard her reply as "nerds."

So, until I was about 9 or 10 (after I stopped believing that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were real), I thought that nerd's candy represented little creatures that actually jumped around under the skin instead of nerve sensations or muscle spasms.

clonerep

So I grew up on a farm, and I guess I was curious about death. I was around three years old at this point, I think. Anyways, a lamb had passed on, and since I had been asking questions about passing away, my dad decided to show me the dead lamb.

When I saw it, my response was "I thought it would be flat." I had probably been told that when you die, you stop breathing.

In my mind that meant that the air went out of us, like with balloons. Did not think about the skeleton apparently. Either way, I learned something that day.

seahmm

(I was enrolled in a very catholic school for the first few grades) In first grade, the teacher announced we would be making Father's Day cards from construction paper.

Never seeing a Father's Day card I thought she meant the school's father (priest). So I started making cutouts of the father and gluing them with those atrocious glue sticks when the teacher asked us to include a moment we liked most with our dads.

A loud thunk happened in my head as my seven-year-old brain realized what was going on. I was almost done, I had a perfect (horrible) depiction of the father wearing robes and candles and everything...

I can't remember what the card I gave to my dad looked like, but I know he appreciated it. I bet he had a good laugh when he saw the whole thing.

ogeytheterrible