“Nope, Not Coming:” Reasons Why Some People Hated Going Home During Holidays

Every year, some people tend to enjoy tons of holidays. However, sometimes you can’t just come home and celebrate it with your relatives. It might be due to different personal reasons.

After all, it’s always up to you whether to celebrate it with your relatives, friends, or special someone. What always matters is your inner peace and the essence of the holiday. 

You are not alone if you ever experience that moment during special holidays. These people from the Reddit community shared their experiences that made their holidays the WORST.

1. Strange Behavior

For some reason, my brother and his wife are super unfriendly towards us and my extended family, including my parents. For example, my parents drove 8 hours to see them.

They ended up sitting in their hotel room all weekend because he would never make plans or cancel at the last second. Note my parents supported him financially well into his 30s.

So basically, every family function consists of my folks coddling my brother and having him either blow them off or show up briefly and being a complete jerk the whole time.

Plus, I have a psycho aunt who attacks me at every moment she gets. I think my family has a lot of mental problems…

ooo-ooo-oooyea

My family is a bucket of crabs. I couldn't get away on my own and had to get outside help. My siblings tried getting out, and I watched them get pulled down into the black hole of suck over and over. 

As far as I can tell, even the ones living on their own are still hauled back into the bucket on a regular basis. I can engage with them from a distance.

If I get too close, they will try to re-infect me with their stupid, petty, needy, passive-aggressive squalor. My parents are not bad people.

They are just incompetent at a lot of important life skills. They are mediocre as parents (obvious favoritism, inconsistent rule enforcement), bad with money, and irresponsible in lots of small ways that left me with all sorts of weird baggage.

Teslok

My aunt verbally abused my father and then clawed my mother's face, so I beat the crap out of my aunt. My aunt was mad that my mother married a white man (we're Italian?).

She has been with him for 30 years, whereas my aunt hasn't had a stable relationship that lasted longer than 4 years. 

Her children hate her, and she is the bully of the family. My grandmother, who was in the room, refused to acknowledge what she had done but had no problem laying into me for fighting her.

raeyim

I don't really have a home to go back to. My dad died when I was eleven, and my mom died when I was fourteen. I was living on my own before I'd even turned sixteen.

My grandparents took me in for a year until I got my own place, but they're both 85+ and have countless other grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

It sometimes feels like I'm just another grain of sand in the desert.

KittyCatOmaniac

My husband's family is far better at making reliable plans than mine, so they usually win out. I can't travel all the way across the country to try and see my sister and brother when they refuse to nail down plans more than a day or two in advance.

"Oh, you're coming into town. Cool, text us when you get here, and we'll try and meet up". When I arrived, they forgot they had some other obligation half the time.

Crap, you're almost 50 years old. Buy a freaking calendar.

nowgetbacktowork

Most of my immediate family is dead. My father is still recovering from destroying his life with substances or alcohol when his parents died in 2005. 

He's in his 50s and well below the poverty line. He hasn't talked to me in 5 months now. (Longest was 4 years) Mother, stepfather, and all grandparents are dead.

Instead, my friend who took me in when I was gonna ended up homeless. His family has had me over for the holidays for the last 3-4 years.

boomer343

Moved 1000 miles away from my hometown to go to college. Mom told me before I even graduated from high school that I'd better make some friends my first semester because a round-trip flight at Thanksgiving wasn't in the budget.

It's not bad. I went home with my roommate last year, and I'm staying with my boyfriend this year. I'm involved with the Macy's parade, which also keeps me busy. 

I think if I really wanted to, my mom would find a way to fly me back, but I don't mind waiting a few weeks till winter break starts.

happysailor68

Step-dad has anger issues, and mom is an enabler type ("Oh, that's just who he is! You know! Just don't make him upset!")

Literally (not figuratively), every Christmas, stepdad causes a fight. I've learned to think it's funny, and just laugh at his 5-year-old tantrums now (since I no longer depend on them whatsoever), and just leave if he gets pissy.

His antics are usually because someone wrapped presents wrong or opened a present in the wrong order (this was literally the cause of his tantrum once). 

His tantrums consist of throwing things, breaking things, slamming doors, peeling out the in the driveway, and veins exploding from his forehead. It was scary to watch when I was 10, but now it's just comical. He's in his late 50s now.

sendmeyourjokes

As a North Indian, the Diwali holiday is our most important one. Everyone is supposed to be together at home and celebrate/worship and stuff. 

It's also the festival when the goddess of wealth(Lakshmi) is worshipped. My joint family has messed Diwali up for all of us cousins.

Mainly because it's a constant tussle of brothers with respect to power over the family business and the wealth it has collected over the years. 

It has gone from the celebration/worshipping of wealth to the day of fighting for said wealth. Have stopped being home during Diwali to just dodge this scene.

Ransomjizz

I went home last Christmas. I finished work at 8:30 pm, drove the 8-hour drive through the night, and made it. I was only going to be there for a few days, and this was during a family argument. 

I saw my immediate family and then went to my grandmother's. That night, I received a dirty text from my aunt (feuding with the family) saying that she was angry I didn’t see her and I was rude, blah, blah, blah. 

The kicker? She works 100 m from my Mum’s place. I didn’t know where she lived, and she never tried contacting me.

When I return now, I won’t tell anyone except those I want to see. The last time I was there and visited my grandmother, I was blissfully drunk, and I don’t remember it. This year, I’m working Christmas Day for some sweets. Sweet 2.25 x pay.

Oh, and favoritism is a HUGE problem in my family. I get the short end of the stick while my cousins are showered with whatever they want. I can’t deal with the unfairness and hate watching my sister be disappointed holiday after holiday.

97Chocoholic

Our first daughter turned 1 shortly before Christmas '95. At that time, my in-laws lived in a town that was approximately a 2-hour drive from us. 

MIL asked if we'd be staying at their place on Christmas Eve, and we said, "No - it's kind of difficult with a baby. We'll drive out to join you on Christmas Day." 

She wasn't happy but said, "Fine - but you have to be here by 10:00 a.m. That's when we'll be opening presents." So, we got up bright and early on Christmas morning, gulped down breakfast, got the baby ready, and got on the road by 6:30 a.m. 

Driving was slow due to snow and ice, but we arrived at the in-laws' house at 9:50 a.m. We grinned at each other with relief - we'd done it!  

We entered the house - only to stare in dismay and consternation. There was torn wrapping paper everywhere. They'd all opened their gifts without us.

My husband isn't one for confrontations normally, but he couldn't help it this time. He cornered his mother in the kitchen and said angrily, "Why didn't you wait for us? We got here on time!" She said sweetly, "Oh, the kids didn't want to wait." Said 'kids" were my husband's younger sister and brother, who were 26 and 21 at the time.

To this day, I'm convinced that she decided not to wait because she was punishing us for not staying overnight on Christmas Eve. Whatever. 

That told us how much we mattered to her, and after a couple more similar experiences, we put our collective feet down and have been celebrating Christmas Day in our own house ever since.

Shalamarr

Usual r/raisedbynarcissists abuse my entire life. My mum is a violent narcissist, and my dad was more of a violent enabler. I don't have contact with them in general, and they don't know where I live.

Christmas was always at my grandma's house (mum's side, different country), and we'd stay for a week or two. I think every single time we were over, my mum would absolutely lose her mind over something innocuous and start a screaming session. 

I'd either lock myself in the bathroom to get away or, one time, she locked me in there with her so she could continue berating me. 

The last few times ended with my mild-mannered gran screaming at my mum for "ruining Christmas again," and she'd actually stop and end up apologizing to her.

Never apologized to me, of course. I re-contacted my gran after a couple of years, and I'll visit sometimes. She'll tell me when my mum isn't there so I can visit in peace.

My dad never came to Christmas, but my most clear memories of him are having me sit on the couch and throwing a ball directly at my face and manically laughing.

The last time I went home was to say goodbye to my cats. I'm going to get my wonky nose fixed soon, and I hope they're still as miserable as they have always been.

greasy_pee

I am on the milder side compared to others' stories, but I dread family events simply because I'm in my 30s, still unmarried, and have no children. I'm in a committed relationship, and we own a house. 

Both have amazing credit, two degrees, and an amazing career, whereas the bf and I do all kinds of fun travel and events and enjoy our time together. Kids are on the docket eventually, but we aren't in a hurry.

No babies? Wasting my life, letting the womb cobwebs take over. When am I going to grow up and stop wasting money on cosplay and comic con and start popping out all those mini-me? Honestly, I'm the only girl above the age of 19 without kids.

About a year ago, my aunt pulled me aside and told me I'm an inspiration to her teen girls, and she's using my life as an example of what they can have if they work hard and are responsible. 

She even quietly admitted her oldest is intimately active, and I'm an example of someone in an adult relationship who can be responsible for birth control. 

I cried and thanked her for appreciating my life instead of pointing out what I was apparently doing wrong.

ZoiSarah

My parents are divorced. As a kid, I was lugged back and forth between the two. If I spent Thanksgiving at one parent's home, then I had to spend Christmas at the other. 

As an adult, I didn't like to pick sides, so I chose neither and had come to blame the long-distance exams. Now that I'm out of university, I have a full-time job as my scapegoat. 

I love both of them, but I would rather spend my time alone than worry about hurting one or the other's feelings.

porkflossbuns

My mom has been crappy to my wife the entire time we have been married. Threatened not to come to our wedding unless we invited certain people. 

Said she was going to plan my wife's baby shower. Never did. Said she would come to our daughter's baptism. Didn't. Many other false promises.

The last couple of times we were around, she was super friendly to me but did not even acknowledge my wife was in the room.

She also spreads rumors about my wife when we are not around. Sorry, you don't get to be mean to my wife and still have us come to things.

[deleted]

Not my family, but my wife's side of the family. I refuse to attend any of their holiday get-togethers. She's from a small town in Western Missouri named Boonville, and I have lived in the Saint Louis area most of my life. 

I guess me being a Saint Louis city slicker was just too much for her family. As my wife was introducing me to her extended family, I heard someone say, "Look at him all dressed up nice and fancy. I bet you're one of those city folk who voted for that President."

I just looked at my wife like, "Please get me out of this hillbilly hell..." I've never gone back. Yeeeeeehaaawwww!

wanderinhebrew

My wife and her parents have been going at it for years. They're very controlling and do all these passive-aggressive things, which has driven her away. They've even attempted to sabotage relationships with other members of the family, including her dying grandparents. 

It's been tough for her, but she started cutting them out of her life and ultimately has not seen or really even talked to them in quite a few years.

Her mom would get upset and send her nasty messages like 'You're not my daughter anymore, don't you dare even think of getting me anything for Mother's Day. I'm not your mother anymore' sort of messages. Her dad lectured my wife for not even saying "Happy Mother's Day." Real dumb and petty crap.

Well, my wife hasn't come home for the holidays in quite a few years, and her Dad constantly texts her things and says, "I sent you a package. Let me know when you get it." 

My wife thought maybe after all these years, they were willing to start making amends, and he wrote a letter or something to start the healing process, but no, it was some gift cards.

So my wife said thanks for the gift but that she would not be coming home to see them for the holidays. So her dad threw a tantrum and insisted she send back the gift cards and how awful of a daughter she is. My wife obliged but was heartbroken.

The worst part is her dad will text her with just crap, "How about that football game" or "damn those Yankees," which she ignores and isn't above-using anything to try and guilt her into responding back. 

The latest was that truck attack in NYC a few weeks back. He sends some heartfelt messages about 'Days like today, it would be nice to hear from you,' but otherwise, he won't take any responsibility to try and actually mend the relationship. 

Shame that if it keeps up, they may never get to meet their grandchild or have a relationship with their daughter. Oh well, I prefer to keep things lowkey for the holidays, and negative forces in your life aren't worth it.

BBQ_HaX0r

We've had the holidays by ourselves for around 11 years. My husband, two young adult children, and I. All the grandparents have passed on. 

  We used to get together with my husband's brother and his family, but after he divorced, it was too hard to set up plans since the kids were with their mother some of the time.   

Everyone is an adult now, and it's even harder to arrange since some are now married or involved and have other places to be.

"Home" is now us. My kids miss their cousins. They've missed them for over ten years; now, it's just a happy memory. I hope we'll be able to change it someday, but I don't know how to do that.

whatyouwant22

My dad rigged my car to explode the last time I saw him. He and my stepmom took out life insurance policies on my step-sister and me.

That year, I went to their house for Easter, and while we were eating, he went out into my car and loosened up all of the fuel lines. It was a 300zx, so that the engine would get really hot. 

He removed the valve cover so it was bare metal under the hood. I caught him outside with the hood up when I went out to smoke. He said he was just glancing around.

One day, a few weeks later, the fuel lines popped off while I was driving. The car just died out (thank god), so I jumped out and popped the hood to see fuel had sprayed all over everything and called my dad to ask what to do. He told me I had to get the car to his house, which was 30 miles away. 

Instead, I got it towed to my shop, where they told me it looked like the hose clamps were intentionally loosened. I knew that no one else was ever even under the hood. So I never went back, lol.

Nicadelphia

My brother-in-law and his wife are both narcissists. I'll call them J&K. J&K live with my mother and father-in-law and treat them like servants. 

They tell all of their friends that they are living at home to "help the in-laws with their underwater mortgage," but they just bleed them dry and use them for childcare.

My mother-in-law absolutely refuses to address this and allows them to walk all over herself and my father-in-law. She gets upset when I confront J&K, so she essentially forces me to allow them to walk all over my family. We moved far away from the family.

One Christmas, while we were visiting, J&K left very early in the morning to see her parents. My MIL would not let anyone open presents until everyone was back. 

My 7 and 9-year-old kids had to wait until like 3 o'clock Christmas afternoon because these jerkwards kept, "Okay, we're leaving in 15"-ing us all day.

I flipped out and called them on their crap. Everyone got mad at me, which is fine... I know when I'm being a jerkward. The next Christmas, they invited us over. 

I said, "That's fine, but we're opening presents when we wake up, no matter who decides to sleep in or visit other family members."

They tried to pull the exact same crap, so we left and went to my parents' house. I told them to call us when J&K gets back.

0/5 - I will never have Christmas there again.

[deleted]

My parents would routinely give me "gifts" like chocolate or some random thing I don't need, like a picture frame. Then they'd go, "Oh, you're too fat to eat it. You don't want that chocolate, right?" 

Then they'd regift my "gift" to their friend's kids. My sister, who was in middle school then, got an iPad and a MacBook a year later.

Yeah, I'd rather not go home to a place that constantly belittles me. I ensure I get my sister a good present, but I've gone beyond that.

kayexgee

Last year, my SO and I went to my parents for Christmas dinner. When we arrived, they had already started opening presents (despite knowing we were on our way and being on time), and no one spoke to us.

No one even acknowledged my SO's existence. My sister didn't give my SO a card or gift despite my SO giving all my siblings and their partner gifts for 9 years (My brothers gave us joint gifts, though one of the gifts was a bracelet, and some individuals use face masks).

None of my siblings contributed to dinner but complained that my dad (their stepdad) hadn't provided enough food. The family was generally rude and inconsiderate towards my SO and me. 

We didn't stay for dessert. We went back to my SO’s parents' place, where they were really happy to see us.

tlvv

One year at Thanksgiving, my uncle yelled at me before a family photo, so I walked away to cool down for a moment. Obviously, the natural response would be for my grandfather to scream at me, call me a worthless brat, and insult my manhood. 

When my mom and aunt came over to calm me down, my grandfather accused me of slapping my mother, which has never happened. 

Then, my drunk cousin-by-marriage tackled me, threw me over a couch, screamed in my face for five minutes, told me that I was tearing my family apart, and threatened to end me on the front lawn. 

After crying for about thirty minutes, I went back inside to confront everyone (I'm insane), which resulted in my mother and I being attacked by that drunk cousin's mother.

Kind of ruined the whole thing for me. I'll go back once my grandfather dies. The drunk cousin and his family don't come to family events anymore.

[deleted]

Last Christmas, I went over alone, leaving the boyfriend at home as he had plans with his own family. My family has never liked my boyfriend anyway and makes a point of badmouthing him whenever he's not around. 

Well, I had been staying at their house for three days, and at around 9pm on Christmas day, my boyfriend texted me to tell me he left his family's home. 

I ask why, and essentially, his "totally reformed alcoholic" mother is drunk, and she's selling her Oxy's to a cousin. He catches her, and she says, "Well, where do you think your Christmas money came from?" He gives her the money back and leaves. 

He's in tears because his mom's a piece of crap, and now he's spending Christmas day alone. So I told my family I would leave and spend time with him. They start losing their minds. Asking why he doesn't just come over. 

There's a family here he can be with. I tell them, "Because he's not freaking stupid. He knows you don't like him," and that starts a whole thing about talking bad about me for telling him that? 

It ends with my mom calling him childish for not wanting to be alone on Christmas. I desperately don't want to go back this year, especially after other things I've learned about my parents. 

Still, I have a feeling I'll get guilted into it. My boyfriend won't be going back to his family for Christmas, though.

[deleted]

About 10 years ago, I went over to my cousin's place in the country for Christmas. It's the usual- awkward conversations, slight emotional tension, one uncle's political leanings becoming more apparent the more egg nog he drinks, etc. 

Well, that year, a few guns were given as Christmas presents to my cousins. Nothing wrong with that; it was a whole family of avid hunters, and the kids were taught to shoot early. A cousin about my age (~20) got a 12-gauge for Christmas, and his little brother (7 or 8) got a small rifle.

Of course, we talked about the gifts everyone got (especially the kids), and little Andy talked about his rifle, how they shot it this morning, cleaned it, and so on. 

Then he gets to talking about his brother's shotgun and how he shot one round out of that and almost fell over. Haha, you're small, and guns are big. So we went back to talking for a while, and suddenly, my 7-year-old cousin was pointing a 12-gauge at the entire Christmas party. Everyone tenses, and his mother tells him to put it away.

“What? You guys are scared? Don't worry, it ain't loaded.” The gun is now wavering between myself and my brother-in-law, who has a touch of PTSD left over from Kuwait. 

About the time I start looking for a nice, clean way to grab the barrel and disarm the little psychopath, my uncle defuses the situation. "Hey, Andy. Why don't we show everybody how we clean it?" Cousin answered, “YEAH!”

He hands Uncle the gun and goes and he gets his cleaning kit. When he came back, my uncle breached the gun, and what do you know? 2 unfired shells popped out. He could have maimed half the family.

mike_d85

The last time I went home for Christmas, my stepdad told my younger brother and sister (ages 10 and 13, respectively) to wake him up at 7 so they could begin to open presents. 

So, of course, on Christmas morning, they both got up super early, but they waited patiently until 7, like he asked them to do, before waking the parents up.

Unfortunately, my stepdad once again was binge drinking all night and was not ready to be up at 7, so he got into a screaming match with my 13-year-old sister.

He called her a "freaking witch" and pretty much set the stage for one of the most miserable family gatherings I've ever experienced. By the end of the day, he had done something awful to everyone, and Christmas was ruined.

Rumblesnap

When I was about 13, like many other teenage girls, I worried about my weight. One dish my family always had for Thanksgiving was candied yams with big marshmallows on top. 

I opted out of eating the marshmallows, and as punishment, my family locked me outside on the porch while I was only in light PJs, in the snow, as they enjoyed their Thanksgiving dinner in front of me because the table was right in front of the glass porch door. 

I was very lucky to somehow not get frostbite, but I learned that day that frostbite can be quite painful. The most crushing thing, however, is that my grandmother was visiting for that holiday.

She sided with my parents, saw nothing wrong in this, and even joined in their later berating. This kind of punishment wasn't abnormal, but having someone witness and not care was one of the worst experiences of my life. I don't talk to any of them anymore.

MyNameIsKir

Our mother’s husband would always- without fail- make every holiday awful. At Christmas, he stood in the middle of the room with a trashbag to grab up wrappings the minute a gift was opened. 

He would vacuum under our feet to rush us out so they could leave for their weekend house. One year, he locked all the doors so the children couldn't get back in from playing. 

They're crying, needing to potty, and we had no idea. He burnt the turkey by turning the oven up to hurry it to being done. Damn, we hated that miserable sob. She must not have been too keen on him, either, bc in 5 years, she's never visited his grave.

im2bizzy2

I still only go home to see my grandparents, whom I'm close with. I genuinely never thought they'd live into my early 20s, but once they pass, I'm cutting all ties.

My family is full of crazy people, but the final straw was when I had to send my beloved cat home with my dad temporarily because I needed emergency housing after my bf. 

I broke up, and I moved into an apartment with an understatedly aggressive cat. A couple of months later, after harassing him for pics and updates and not getting them, I found out he had given my cat away without telling me a few weeks into him being home.

I thought my cat would be happier in a large house, and I didn't want him getting hurt by crazy cats. My father's never been abusive towards animals. Little did I know my father would dump him off with some random people. I can't find him.

madguins

My mother-in-law gets so stressed out by Christmas preparations (everything has to be exactly perfect and exactly according to family tradition, of course) that a few years back, she put herself in the ER with atrial fibrillation. 

Christmas dinner that year was Subway and Jack in the Box (because, naturally, not everybody could agree) around a hospital bed.

My wife and I have since figured out that if we stonewall on Christmas itself and wander up a month early or late "Just to see them," she doesn't shoulder nearly the same amount of anxiety because it isn't "Christmas," so it doesn't have to be perfect. 

We can just have dinner like normal people, next to an aseasonal indoor tree that happens to still be set up and has a bunch of presents under it. So, we stopped going home for the holidays to keep my mother-in-law alive.

djublonskopf

My wife and I live in Florida now. I'm originally from Michigan, and she is from Washington State. We used to rotate between states every Christmas. 

It's cold as heck in the winter, flights are ridiculously expensive, we get sick every time, and we have to deal with family members we wouldn't normally have to deal with because they are also in town. 

This will be our 3rd Christmas celebration at our home, and it's incredible. We travel back to WA and MI in the summer now. Both states are much better in the summer.

salamanizer_er

My dying grandmother gave me something of hers, and when I came back from the bathroom, I found that my mother had broken it. I got angry, and then my mother started screaming at me and ran outside after she was done. 

I was never able to talk back to my mother growing up. Still, in the last few years, my patience with her personality disorders (psychopathy while appearing to be normal to everyone who doesn’t know what she’s really like) waned. I just glared at her until she ran away. 

I followed her outside and asked her angrily if she wanted to be a part of my family (my wife and I are trying to have a baby). She said no. 

So I turned around and left. She followed me out, screaming the whole time about what a piece of crap I was. It’s a tactic used by narcissists to degrade their supply’s (me) sense of self in order to subjugate them. 

I told her I’d only talk to her again if we were in court. I can’t legally say anything more about that. So, this holiday season will be the first time away from my family. I’ll be with my wife’s family, who are nice people.

[deleted]

One year ago, two of my brothers got in a fistfight on the front lawn. Another year, two of my brothers got wild and cut the Christmas tree I bought because my mom swore off Christmas in half while "trimming it" to fit in the stand. 

I always do 90% of the cooking, but for at least one year, I was left to sit in the living room with two of my brother's random friends (a couple that fight a lot) because there was no room at the table. 

I regularly play referee and always have to buy or at least wrap my presents. Yeah, I don't go home for the holidays. Since I started not going, I have received yearly calls about how unmanageable the holidays are when I'm not there. 

Ha! I enjoy them with my husband, who gets me gifts and (sort of) wraps them and appreciates my hard work.

free_beer2

I lived about 2.5 hours from "home" - and hadn't actually lived there for 10 years. Anyways, a small family had a Christmas get-together 2 weeks before actual Christmas.

However, my wife’s best friend's father passed away from Cancer. He was also a good friend. His funeral was my family's planned Christmas get-together.

I did not go home for that get-together, as I obviously went to the funeral. Literally had to receive wrath from Grandma about caring more about just friends than family, my aunt eviscerating me on Facebook.

Basically, I haven't spoken to them in 5 years because of that....and I'm perfectly fine with that. You can't choose your family, but blood isn't thicker than water. Be good to people, folks.

lent12

I was laid off and went back to visit for the week. Times were tough for me, and I just wanted to relax. I hadn't lived there in 7 years. But the week I went, my mom was really laying into me to clean her house, do her dishes, and wash her laundry. 

I told her I don't freaking live with her anymore, and I'm not doing her chores. To which she flipped out and started yelling at me. She's always been a two-faced, backstabbing witch, but I'd had enough.

I immediately walked away from her. Packed my bag. I got in my car to make the 10-hour drive home. Haven't spoken to her since. 

That was almost three years ago now. I have no desire to see her ever again. She's caused nothing but misery and pain in my life.

Mayor_of_tittycity

Flew home for Christmas from across the country. Upon landing, I was informed that my sister would not be joining us because she couldn't get the day off. My parents knew this well in advance but didn't want me to come. 

I was also informed that we would not be having Christmas with my extended family as they were busy with my cousin's husband's family because of their children. 

I was already pretty crushed since I didn't have a great relationship with my family. I spent Christmas Day with my mother and father until my father left around 2PM to visit his friends. 

My mother then went to bed around 3PM and didn't wake up until the next day. I decided to wait for dinner until someone woke up or came home. My father came home around 6PM so drunk (he drove himself home), and he forced me to hug him despite my protests while he was just in his underwear. He then proceeded to run to the bathroom and puke his guts out. Yeah, I'm just not going back.

angelicartifice

I’ve lived out of home for a year now, and just last week, I took a week off work to go home. None of my friends and family really made an effort to see me.

Well, that hurt quite a bit, seeing as I was really looking forward to catching up and hanging out as much as possible.

I pretty much hung around the house all day. At least my family pets were excited to see me (which was nice, at least!) So yeah, now I don’t really have any desire to go home for even a visit. Last week really put me off

getshrekton

All the drama. My mother is kind of a witch, and I don't speak to her unless it's to arrange for me to be my young half-brother and sister. I live in another country. I have another sister who is 15. I tried to spend as much time as possible with her. 

If we go to see people together who don't like my mother, they think it's OK to talk bad about her in front of my sister. I disagree.

I do want my sister to have a good relationship with our mom if it's what she wants, and I don't want her to hear people talking badly about her mom.

I don't think it's healthy. The whole family would gather most of the time when I was around, so having all of them talking badly in front of my sister, I'd lose my mind.

BasilNuts

My uncle invites us to Thanksgiving every single year, but we never go because of one specific reason. He’s a Jehovah’s Witness. 

I’m not saying they are terrible people, but my uncle, in particular, is. One year, we went to Thanksgiving at his place, and he handed out religious pamphlets to everyone at the table. 

All he talked about was how the end of days was coming soon and that we all needed to repent our sins or we would burn in Hell. It was a miserable 5-6 hours. 

Fast forward two years later, and my dad (that uncle’s brother) was on his deathbed. His kidneys were shutting down, and he was going to die within the week.

My uncle dared to CALL MY DAD ON HIS DEATH BED and tell him, “If you don’t repent your sins, you’re going to burn in Hell.”

He didn’t call to say goodbye to his brother, he didn’t call to offer help to our soon-to-be mourning family, he called to tell my dying father that he is going to burn in Hell.

That pissed off my mom so much she called him right back and screamed at him. The last thing my dying father needs or wants is to have his brother calling him at the hospital and telling him that he is going to Hell.

GodOfBeverages

Last Thanksgiving, my mom told the entire family (while I was in a different room) how she was depressed and felt like a terrible mother because of me, and basically, that I had ruined her as a person. 

I've been struggling with mental health stuff for a long time, and they aren't very understanding. Also, it's my parents, and my two sisters, and their SOs, with me being like a 7th wheel.

Mostly, I spent the entire holiday being ignored and talked over or snapped at. Either way, holidays just make me feel like crap. I still have to go, though, unfortunately.

Bright_Eyes10

The last conversation I had with my father was him calling me to tell me he kicked me off the insurance and didn't approve of me being trans. 

I told him I'd do what made me happy and refused to go see him, despite my brothers both asking me to come with them to visit him.

For whatever reason, my mother and her husband (my stepdad) always host super awkward holiday parties, and my coming out hasn't exactly helped. 

I can handle Christmas since they usually invite extended family I can catch up with. Still, Thanksgiving is just the immediate family and anyone we might be dating. 

Last Thanksgiving, my brother's girlfriend (the only black person at an otherwise very white party) and my own girlfriend actually hugged it out in solidarity due to how uncomfortable it was.

SpoonResistance

Having it (again for the 5th time in a row) at an aunt’s house who rents all new furniture right before to try to impress everybody. 

She’s overprotective of the rented stuff because she has to take it back afterward but pretends like she bought it and is all passive-aggressive if you “sit too hard on it.”

The aunt’s kids are always the reason we don’t eat on time. Either one has to wait for his ex to give him his kid, or another is at a friend’s house.

The meat is always cold. They cook the ham and turkey the day before and refrigerate it. The vegetables are piping hot, but the meat is as cold as the prepackaged sliced stuff you buy for sandwiches.

I showed up at 12:30pm last year because my grandmother kept asking me to come on and that we would be eating at 1:00pm. We finally ate at 5:45pm. Never again. 

Now my wife and I cook something just for us and lie to both sides of our families and say we’re going to the other's house. It's so peaceful and relaxing now.

Scorpio1980

I live 30 minutes away from my aunt's place, and that's where we usually hold Thanksgiving dinners. I'm not going this year because my grandma is racist towards my husband and shunned me for being with him. 

This is why I've stopped attending family functions. Probably skip New Year's as well since that's a big thing for our family. 

Eh, I'm not missing out on much anyway. The adults are full of themselves anyway and stuck in their ways. As long as I've got the people who really matter to me, that's what counts.

Atakku

My alcoholic mother asked me to come visit for Christmas. Mom said she would cook myself and my sister lunch. At the time, she had been sober for a few months. 

I thought she deserved a chance, so I made us a heap of gingerbread and headed over to her house; when I arrived, she was drunk, my sister was high, and there was no food in the house. But the kicker was when she proceeded to start to yell and insult my father, who had passed away two years prior... 

He was the only good part of my childhood, and it is why I went to university and pushed myself to make a better life. He wasn't perfect, and we were poor, but I wouldn't change a thing about him.

I left before things escalated and went and saw my best friends, thankfully, who turned the day around (sadly, I left the gingerbread behind!)

This day is what I always remember when I was trying to decide if cutting her and my sister out of my life was the right decision. It was.

theclumsygiraffe

My wife has a disease that makes childbirth complicated. She also has a degree in fine arts. We had to wait a long time to have a child. 

I told my mom that pressuring us made my wife feel unwelcome in the family. If I had a perfectly healthy wife with a great career and no college debt,

I could have had a child much earlier. My mom is unbelievably dense, stubborn, naive, and insensitive. This led to a major fight at Thanksgiving 5 years ago. I've still not got a solid apology from her.

IntentionalTexan