Men Share The Most Awkward Thing A Girl Has Ever Said To Them

Everyone probably has their own moment of “I just want to talk to someone” and ends up randomly conversing with a stranger.

Some might end well, and some might end badly. But these men from the Reddit community were out of luck! Check these stories where they shared the most awkward thing they heard from a woman.

1. Impact of Hunger

I still don't understand it.

She was drunk. I was drunk. We just met. We flirted. 

We were on a friend's front porch, waiting for that friend to come back with food. We kept flirting, but neither one of us made a move. We were also getting hungrier and wondering what food our friend would bring back.

We hoped for pizza and salad from this trendy pizza place nearby.

Somehow, the two desires (hunger and flirting) got crisscrossed in her head. She turned towards me, leaned close, gazed into my eyes, and in a seductive voice said, "If I was salad, how hard would you make out with me?"

zeroarkana

I had a girl in high school tell me that no one would date me because I was too much like a puppy, and no one wanted to make out with a puppy, which would be hurtful and not that weird.

However, she made the most baffling statement I had heard. She then followed it up with, "But I make out with puppies…"

Mopey_Zoo_Lion

I was at Walmart with 3 of my soon-to-be roommates for college. We saw a cheap table (one that is plastic and folded down), and because we are poor college kids, I mentioned that we should get it for our house. 

Out of nowhere, some girl turned the corner and yelled, "I can be y'all's table!" Still, I'm not 100% sure what it meant, but it sure sounded like she wanted a different deal...

whitetailfall

I wear a spinal brace. This happened on Halloween.

Girl: I like that you're wearing that.

Me: What?

Girl: I like that you're wearing that.

Me: Um... do you know what it is?

Girl: No, but I like that you're wearing it.

Me: Okay, thanks...

After a while, her boyfriend came over to my table and apologized, saying she was drunk and thought it was somehow related to Nintendo.

AOEUD

I had a woman tell me that I had pretty eyes. Then she said she wished she could cut them out and make them her own. 

I didn't know if she meant to put it in her head somehow or keep it as a souvenir. 

She didn't sound like she was joking or anything. 

I smiled and kind of giggled and went on. This happened when I was 12.

El_monstruo

I'm at the movies with my girlfriend, standing out in the lobby. Another girl that I knew from years ago in school spots me from a distance and approaches us as she exclaims.

Her: Oh my god, [my name], is that you?

Me: Yep. Hi [her name].

Her: Is that your girlfriend?

Me: Yep.

Her: You're still awkward.

She then ran off to her movie, and my girlfriend started cracking up. Apparently, she agreed.

42ultra

I was in the pool with my co-workers (lifeguard), and we were having chicken fights. One girl says to another girl, "Hey, get on MisterBuzz's shoulders, he's tall!"

She responded, "Him?! Hahahahaha!" and they played without me.

I don't know why she laughed, but I was very hurt.

MisterBuzz

I am in an elevator with my friend (we're both college dudes) and on our way to the 4th floor, the elevator opens on the second floor, and 3 girls get in. 

One of them says, "Oh boy, alone with 3 hot girls with nowhere to go? Bet this is a dream come true for you guys."

Classic thirsty freshman girls.

SkepticShoc

I was at a bar, seated, when this semi-cute hipster girl walked up and took a seat on my lap, put her arms around my neck, and asked me a random question.

Her: Are you Jewish?

Me: No.

Her: Oh, because I like your nose.

I have kind of a big honker, but this wasn't the only time it's drawn attention. A drunken older woman once told me I had such a cute nose that she wanted to suck on it.

Booyahkashah

One time in college, I was standing in the elevator in my dorm, and this girl just stared at my feet and said, "You have really nice toes." 

I saw her in the elevator a couple of weeks later, and she said to me, "Hey, you're the guy with nice toes." 

My toes are regular toes. They have a little bit of hair on them, too.

Yes, I knew she was hitting on me. And no, she wasn't hot.

CaptainFlacid

"I already bought your birthday present, so you can't break up with me until at least after your birthday." The entitlement! We'd just been dating for three months.

My birthday was still two months away, and I broke up with her a week later.

UseApostrophesBetter

Never thought I’d hear this from a stranger.

Her: So Morsus98, you normally sit in that chair for X class, right?

Me: Yeah.

Her: Okay. I was setting up this room for [event], and we finished a little early, so I sat down in that chair and pretended to be you. Just looked around, seeing how you see things.

Me: ... That's, uh, nice...

Morsus98

First date with an extremely attractive tiny blonde girl. The date goes very well. We end up parked in her car at the beachfront and having a fairly deep & complex conversation.

She proceeds to tell me, out of nowhere, that she likes to be punched in the face, pissed on & hung from the ceiling with chains. I have to say I strongly considered it before I noped the fudge out. 

She really was violently pretty...

[deleted]

Just yesterday, a girl leaned to kiss me, and as she leaned in for it, she said, "So how is Nan?"

I just started laughing right in her face, I couldn't help it. Thankfully, she laughed at it too!

A couple of hours later, I leaned in to kiss her, and, in the huskiest voice I could manage said: "Nan is really great."

Maccas75

"You freaking chink, why the hell won't you pay attention to me?!"

When I was 16, at a teen summer camp, this girl had a crush on me but I was not into her at all.

She got really frustrated one day and just went off on me and said the above remark to me. Two years later, we're married with kids- just messing with you. I told her to go to hell and to never talk to me again.

dastard82

I was 27 at the time, and I was out drinking and singing karaoke with some of my friends.

My turn came up, and I sang "Chocolate Balls" by Chef of South Park fame, as suggested by my friend on a dare.

Me having the same octave as Chef, I KILLED it, and everyone in the Bar burst out in laughter throughout the whole thing. I go and join my friends at the table, high-fiving through the gauntlet.

While I'm pouring my next glass of beer, this chick taps me on the shoulder. I turn to face her, and she's ALL of my yeses: redhead, thick glasses, cute face, curves in all the right places. I just light up like a Christmas tree just looking at her.

I smiled and asked her, and our conversation went like this:

Me: What's up? [I can tell she's had a few.]

Her: [giggles]I want to make out with your voice…

In the most nonchalant way of saying it. It's like a normal, everyday interaction.

Me: Excuse me... what?

Her: [louder] I WANT TO MAKE THE HECK OUT OF YOUR VOICE, IT'S SO MANLY AND DEEEEEEEEP!

As she clings to my arm.

I was awestruck. I'm used to women giving me compliments about my voice, but when you have someone wanting to do other things to it, it's somewhat jarring. Her Blonde friend rushed over, pulled her away, and apologized.

Friend: She's wired when she's drunk.

Me: Aren't we all sometimes?

 I say as they exit the bar. I never did see her again…

AnAdventureCore

She didn't really say it to me, but to the group of people I was with. One of my friends recently got jumped walking home from work, so she decided to console him by saying, "It's okay, I know exactly how you feel."

He asks her if she's been mugged or something, and she responds, "No, but I've been taken advantage of before," and then goes into pretty extreme detail for the next 20 minutes.

This was the first time any of us had ever met her, and while we sympathize, holy crap, that was the most uncomfortable I've ever been in my entire life.

RodsAndClams

Obligatory "This'll get buried."

I was at a bar with my guitar-playing friend, sitting at the end of the bar, away from the stage, watching a different band play.

The bartender brings me a double shot of tequila with the fixings. He leans over the bar and says, "This is from the lady at the end of the bar."

She's nice-looking.

I begin the ritual, and just as I'm raising the glass to her in salute, she stands on the rungs of her chair, leans over the bar, and shouts at the bartender.

Do you know how sometimes, during a live show, there's a moment in the music where there's a beat of silence? The music's too loud for conversation, so when the music stops, you can hear a pin drop, even in a good-sized venue.

So there she is, standing up, this good-looking girl, shouting in the voice intended to carry over the band, in that moment of dead silence...

"Not him - the cute guy next to him."

FobbingMobius

It was pretty awkward when I was at work, and a lady in her 40s asked to talk to me. I sat down, and she said, "I'm not sure how to say this... But you know my daughter? She wants to date you."

I stammered and had no idea what to say. Her daughter was not in good shape and the most socially awkward creature I had ever met. I told the mom I was interested in seeing different women every weekend. It was a fabulous lie for a 17-year-old man who hadn't done as much as kiss a girl before.

mcclark71

I was in Uni, and some girl came up during class and said, 'Wow, this is such a weird word, don't you think?' after I agreed, she kept aggressively pushing how weird it was. 

She was pretty cute, and I think she was trying to hit on me, but it was just so ridiculous I didn't know how to work it.

[deleted]

I'm a very muscular young man, and once, when I was about 24, a lady of probably 45 years tried to ask me a question (I was working retail) 

But she couldn't finish and finally blurted out, "God, that shirt cannot contain you," with a look on her face that made me very uncomfortable. 

Middle-aged women have done similar things to me several times.

MyNamesRudy

"I find guys that have a girlfriend so hot." She became known for trying very hard to sleep with every guy at the workplace who had a girlfriend. I liked talking to her but was interested in having a girlfriend that I liked more. 

I was pretty naive when she asked if I wanted to come over and watch movies. Sure! It'll be fun to hang out!

About halfway through the movie, I realized she was frustrated because I wasn't interested in making out. 

I stayed the night on her couch and headed home the next morning. She stopped talking to me after that, clueing in that I wasn't interested.

A few years later, I'm out with my girlfriend (My fiance by this point), and we run into this chick with a guy. She immediately starts to lie, saying crap like, "I miss you! We were so good together!" She weirded out the guy she was with, AND I had to deal with my wife asking, "Who the heck was that?"

kwirky88

One day, when wearing a pair of sandals, a girl in my Economics class who normally doesn't talk looked down at my feet, then at me and said, “You have very vascular feet. Can I touch them?” 

I said no, but she touched them anyway.

11/10 would not recommend it.

[deleted]

Apparently, I'm some sort of mystery man to some of the more thirsty ladies at work, and I've heard several times about how a certain group of them wants to find out how I am in the sack because my anger issues make them think I would be really aggressive in bed.

Well, one day about a year ago, one of them came up to me, held up her hand, and wouldn't leave me alone till I put mine up to hers, palm to palm. 

So I do, and she looks at me and practically coos at me, "Wow, your hands are so big... You really COULD dominate somebody with those, couldn't you?"

I know a lot of guys would have loved that, but I noped the fudge out.

redhawkinferno

One time in my Junior year of high school, this girl I'd never talked to before came up to me during rehearsal and said, "I bet you have a really nice belly button."

She just walked away. Like, it wasn't an observation. Somehow, through extrapolation of my observed features, she determined that I had an attractive navel.

atmidnightsir

Gf had a bit of borderline personality disorder, but I didn't realize that at the time... Had a slightly unstable day with her and was a bit worn out. Got home together and ordered a curry. 

Made a thoughtless comment that her blouse wasn't my favourite of all her tops. 

A deathly atmosphere fell across the living room before she exploded and glared at me while ripping off the blouse, sitting in her bra, and angrily hissed:

"Well, perhaps you'd rather eat the curry if I looked like this!!?"

paralemptor

In our library, we have booths that are really comfortable, and it is really hard to find a seat before an exam.

I showed up to uni at 6 am, found myself in an empty booth, and started studying with my legs across the table.   

Around 10 am, this girl and her friends showed up and told me to move, as I was alone, and there were so many of them. 

I told her, “Sorry, I can't,” and this girl straight up said, “Move, or I call the security over and tell them you have been threatening me?”

moyv

We had a student exchange with a school from St.Petersburg, Russia, when I was in 12th grade. We were having a party. Everybody was getting really drunk and having fun. One Girl stumbled up to me, grabbed my private part, and said the following in a very drunk, slurry voice with a thick Russian accent:

"All German men are beautiful!"

("Alle Deutschen Männer sind schön!")

I was not interested because she was super wasted, and I am super gay. So I told her politely to move along. She stumbled across the room to another classmate, and the next time I looked over, they were making out sloppily. 

Most awkward. I'm glad I passed on that opportunity.

HipEscapism

A girl I vaguely knew from school once sent me a Facebook message asking, 'Why do I feel like a loser every time I see you?' I replied that I was sorry if I'd done anything wrong, etc.

I was very confused and she responded, “No you hadn't, it's because you are so perfect!”   

It was written out full of ellipses and was one of the most awkward things I've ever read. Lol, no idea why she sent it. I was never an incredibly good-looking teen. 

It's probably still on FB in the endless old messages. Might have to go find it now.

joker370

I was skating at a roller rink, and the place started closing up, so we all had to go home. As I was changing back into my shoes, a girl started hitting on me. She asked where I went to school, and I replied truthfully. She replied back, "That's hot." 

I started getting weirded out, but it turns out she's homeschooled, so she doesn't really talk to guys much.

Wherearemylegs

Years ago, I was at the local cheap 'n crappy Chinese food restaurant literally on the other corner of my block in the Bronx. I ordered my food and then stood to the side to wait. As I was waiting, a teenage girl came in.

 I looked up, got out of the way so she could order, and spoke before I got a chance to settle back into doing absolutely nothing and waiting for my food.

The actual textualization of what she said isn't weird at all: "Look what I can do."

What she did, as she said, made it very, very weird: she got right in my face and stared directly into my eyes. Like, inches from my face, and staring very intently at my eyeballs.

The word salad rantings after that initial staredown were downright sensible in comparison. This was my first experience with a labile psychotic disorder, and it was... it was not fun. All I wanted was some general Tso's, just my Tso and go. 

Instead, I got to contemplate how our grasp of reality can be tenuous.

tofleet

A random girl added me on Facebook, and I asked why the random add (no mutual friends), and then after a bit of chat, she told me that she was making videos for guys (yeah, THOSE types of vids). 

She sent some videos through and then proceeded to tell me about how in love with her boyfriend she is and that they've been trying, unsuccessfully, to have a baby for a while now.

She's currently pregnant and engaged to the aforementioned boyfie. 

RhyderJ

I was in Montreal, and a prostitute came to me and said, "Hey, you look like my brother." She then proceeded to unbutton my jeans and grabbed my junk.

My mother and father had ultimately tracked my sister down and found her hooking in Montreal. 

We were on a mission to get her off the streets, back home, and into rehab. 

She was so high she didn't recognize that I actually was her brother. 

Awkward...

whatwhatinthebutt19

Met a pretty girl at a fast food place, flirted a little, got her number, and then returned to work. 

I called her later that evening, and during the conversation, she said, "I still talk to my ex, but the only way I'd ever go back to him is if he kidnapped me. 

You would come to save me if he did that, right?"

Needless to say... I am proud the correct head won the battle that day.

DaggerRT14

When I worked at a restaurant in Houston, one day, we had this new girl start on as a hostess. It became clear from the start that she was odd. She would walk up behind all the male employees and scratch our backs. 

It got weird fast. 

One day, she offered to make out "whenever I wanted" and said we could just go out to my car or something.   

At first, it seemed sorta tempting, until I went on my break, and she was sitting in the break room when I walked in. 

I sat down at the table, and she said she had an upset stomach. Then she said something I'll never forget. "It must be from all the sperm floating around in there."

I never took her up on that offer.

jimbojangles1987

Bad Tinder date. 

Did not find her attractive. She drank a couple more glasses of bourbon than me. She Ubered to the bar.   

I said I was going home, but her house was on the way, so I offered to give her a ride home.

"Yeah, let's do this."

No, let's not.

[deleted]

Messaged a girl on a dating app. She seemed cool, albeit a little far away, but whatever. We started texting, and she asked what I think I’d be doing in five years. I answered and then asked her. 

She said without waiting that all she wanted to do was start giving birth. Apparently, her life's mission is to pop kids out. I quickly noped out. It is a great way to get back into the online dating thing.

rocketpastsix

When I was 15, my girlfriend (same age) tried to convince me to have a baby. I was making $5.75 an hour at Safeway and tried to explain to her this wasn't a good idea. 

I should've run right there and then but I thought she was just "in love" and saying stupid things. 

A few weeks later, after (safe) making out, I caught her trying to poke holes in the condoms I had at her place with a thumb tack. 

That was the most awkward 2 minutes of silence of my life. She now has 3 kids with some other guy. Somebody, please link up the Neo bullet time gif.

fbomb10

"I would never make out with you. I know everything that's wrong with you, and it disgusts me."

This was said without context immediately after I chided her for cheating on her boyfriend (who is one of my best friends).

I mean, her context is that I had a crush on her like 5 years earlier, but that's the strangest way to try to defend being a cheater.

Another one is this choice quote from a really crazy SJW-type chick:

"I'm only fat because of my thyroids."

[deleted]

One of my favorite stories. 

A drunk girl was at a bar, and I was talking to her friend about something. Out of nowhere, she asks if a girl had ever peed on my chest before.

I said no, and she rubbed it and said, "Too bad," before going to the bathroom. It's awkward for most people, but I should've married that girl that night.

thenecro

Our conversation went like:

Her: Have you seen divergent?

Me: Yeah, why?

Her: You remind me of Four.

Me: Oh, okay. Um, thanks?

Her: That's not a good thing.

How the hell am I supposed to respond to that?

For those that don't know, Four is sort of an emotionless, solitary kind of character. I think. I am in no way emotionless or solitary.

CashmereLogan

Post-coital small talk after the first date led to the first hookup: 

Her: So, there's something you should know about me....

My mind is racing. "Not secretly a man, since we've just had some up-close time with ladybits.... not obviously racist... no clear signs of drug addiction... what could it be?"

Me: Yes? 

Her: I take things.

Mind racing again... filling in the blank with ".... 'to heart'?....' seriously'? What could she mean?"

Me: What do you mean?

Her: Like, I go into places like stores, and I take things. I steal things. I like it.

Not the first time I've thought, "OK, I need to get this person out of my apartment and then I'll just change my phone number and move.... to Alaska."

dontfeartheringo

Happened in high school, I was talking to a girl I would chat with between classes:

Her: I think I have a crush on you.

Me: What? Why?

Her: You have a really nice voice.

Me: What?

Her: Your speaking voice. You have a really nice speaking voice. It's calming.

I didn't really know how to react. I just said, "T-thanks?" and walked away. She was a really nice person. She wasn't ugly- I just wasn't physically attracted to her at all. The weird compliment didn't exactly help her case, either.

She later enlisted the help of one of my football teammates for a mid-bus ride to an away game (she was a cheerleader, and we were riding on the same bus, obviously). This person I didn't really know or have a connection with outside of football came up and sat next to me.

She came up shortly after he sat down next to me, and then he started asking questions.

Him: Hey, why don't you like her?

Me: It's nothing against her, I'm just not attracted to her.

Him: Are you gay?

Me: No, I just don't find her attractive.

Him: Well, what's wrong with her?

Me: Nothing's wrong with her. She's good-looking, funny, and caring. I just don't feel any attraction towards her.

Keep in mind that the entire time, this girl was sitting across the aisle from us and looking straight at me. I just stopped talking to her after that.

ChokinMrElmo

So I was at the bar with a few friends and some random girls having a great time. At some point during the night, one of the girls catches on that I am gay and shouts at me, 

Her: You're gay?!? Are you attracted to dogs since they have a male’s private part??

Me: You're straight?!? Are you attracted to dogs since they have it also?

Needless to say, I never saw that stupid girl ever again.

Zulak

I went on a date with this girl I met online. She casually brings up that she will need to be picked up because she has just gotten her license suspended via DUI.

As we are driving, she says something along the lines of, "I hope you get drunk with me, you're going to have to drive anyways."

Did not last very long.

[deleted]