1. Total Mess
Mine was a cheating addict who strung my son along through a whole pregnancy full of lies. The baby came out a few too many shades off to pass as my son's.
She even tried to take my son to court for child support until her lawyer laid eyes on my son and told her to forget it.
She stole and pawned a lot of my son's belongings along the way, too. She never got clean, never got help, and has done this whole thing to yet another man since.
dick-dick-goose
2. Her Age
Mother here of a son who is married. I disapproved of the marriage from the beginning even though my son is a grown man and, of course, can do whatever he wants.
My son married a woman much older than himself, much older than me. He is 43 now, and she is 70. I knew he didn't marry her for love and only married her for what she had, and this alone pissed me off.
My son brought her to my house to meet me, and I was pleasant to her. She was pleasant to me and to my mother, who was very ill at the time. My husband's wife, however, really didn't talk much, so it made for an awkward time.
They only spent the night and then left. My son continued living with me, and his wife continued living in another city for quite a long time. Every time my son would go to stay with his wife, he came home witching about her.
I never heard anything good, only bad, so of course, this made me dislike her even more.
Fast forward. They got into a big argument while my son was staying with his wife, and he came back home again, witching about her. He told me she wanted to come to my house to see him and he told her not to come.
She did anyway. As I stated, my very ill mother was here, and my son's wife came here uninvited. She pulls up on the sidewalk for some weird reason and comes to the door.
My son refused to go outside, and he told me not to open the door, so I didn't. His wife continues ringing the doorbell, making the dogs go insane then she starts knocking and tries to look in through my windows.
My son calls the police, and the next thing I know, his wife is in handcuffs. My son went outside to talk to the officers, and he had his wife trespassed. I had to sign it. It was ridiculous.
They are still together, I guess, but I haven't talked to my son since before Christmas, so I don't know.
I'm glad I only have one son.
[deleted]
3. Good Start
The Mother in Law hate here is scary. I'm a Mother of three sons. One of them is married and until very recently, I absolutely adored my daughter-in-law. She was the 'daughter' I didn't have.
They gave me the most amazing granddaughter. My daughter-in-law did, however, bring a level of drama to our lives that we were not accustomed to and that was hard to adjust to. Being a household of primary males, there just was not much 'drama.'
The DIL is 9 years older than my son, they started dating when my son was 19. I was very concerned about the age difference, but I always treated her respectfully and with kindness.
They are amidst divorce now, and I'm not thrilled with her behavior over the past 6 months. My reason is that she knew she was dating a very young man, and they knew when they decided to marry and have a child that the young man was still quite young.
My DIL remains flummoxed that my son (who is 23 now) hasn't turned into a 30-year-old adult like she is. Some red flags did go off for me as I observed her own relationship with her Mother, they were quite harsh with each other, but I tried not to let that affect my acceptance of her and she became an integral part of our family.
Nonetheless, she has treated my son poorly, and I no longer 'like' her. It has nothing to do with 'competing' with her. It has to do with how she is now treating him and us. This potential mother-in-law is open to any potential daughter-in-law or same-sex partner any of my boys become involved with.
I want my sons to have loving relationships in their lives, and I would never do anything to hinder whoever they choose to share their lives with.
Not all Mothers in Law are horrible people.
3boyz3Madison
4. A Virus
I know why my mom doesn't like my sister-in-law.
She's unpleasant and mean. Every time we went to visit, she would make sure there was at least one fight. With my brother, at least one yelling, drag-out fight. So now, every time we're trying to enjoy a visit, it's tense because we're waiting for the inevitable.
Watching my nephew watch his parents scream at each other is the worst part.
My brother went from doing ok, having friends and a sense of humor, and some crap, to now being overweight, unhappy, and having nothing to do on the weekends but drink and watch TV.
Which she then picks a fight about.
He's so wrapped up in it that even when I try to get him alone for a while, it takes him a while to unwind. Otherwise, he puts me down so he doesn't feel awful.
It sucks. I used to be best friends with my brother.
And Ma knows it, too, and hates her as much as she can.
Mainly, it's a pity because it's clear she's a miserable person.
[deleted]
5. Young Mind
Throwaway. We lived on the other side of the country from them, so we didn't have many visits -- one or two a year. When we visited, all was well -- the house was clean, the kids were cared for, etc.
She was fun to be around.
However, once we left, life went back to "normal" for my son and grandkids. She would say she was going to the store and would not come home for 2 to 4 days. She did drugs. She did not clean -- anything.
My son traveled for business, and when he was gone, she had many different men in the house. He would come home to a trashed house, trashed car, trashed everything. She would put the kids to bed, then leave to party.
She kept the two oldest kids home from school when he traveled -- she was too busy sleeping from partying all night to take them to school. As he was making plans to leave her and take the kids, she ended the life of the youngest child and is now in jail awaiting trial. All of this came out after she died.
I wish they had never met.
throwawaytardis12
6. Confusing Mind
My daughter-in-law decided, after years of manipulating my son, to walk out on him and their two kids.
A few hours later, she changes her mind and bombards him with all kinds of crap for a week.
Then, she gains access to the house when he’s out and changes the locks, causing him and their two young kids to be homeless.
She sucks!
mysonisatwat
7. The Locks
Happened to a friend. Her brother married this girl who was his college friend. Very happy to have a baby girl... Suddenly, her father passed away, so her mother went to stay with her son and DIL.
At first, she was ok. But after like a month, DIL started to lock the fridge (in India, fridges come with internal locks) and pantry doors. She started cutting down MIL's food.
When my friend came to know about this, we went to her brother's place, packed her mom's stuff, and brought her back to my friend's house.
Scary lady, that DIL. Brother didn't say crap to his wife.
Edit- people are asking what MIL did that DIL had to cut down the food supply... There is nothing she could do to get this kind of treatment from her son and DIL. That old lady is literally the sweetest lady I have ever met.
Took care of her granddaughter and cleaned the house.
We have locks on our fridges which come with 2 keys( we lose that like on the 1st day) it's to keep kids and monkeys out. Yes. We have rogue monkeys who raid our kitchens.
thatindianmum
8. Completely Terrible
My mother always tried with my ex SIL but she was a nutcase. XSIL and my brother were separated after she abandoned their son at the daycare center to run away and start a new life; my brother ended up with full custody of my nephew.
The straw that broke the camel's back for my mom was when XSIL tried to kidnap my nephew and steal my brother's car during a visitation period (my mom was there to witness the whole thing) she didn't secure my nephew (2yo) into his seat and she crashed into a light pole in her haste - luckily nobody was hurt.
My mother never forgave her for that and had to step in for my brother a few times during law proceedings to make sure that XSIL never got more than visitation rights.
XSIL currently has every other weekend visitation and hasn't seen him in 5years but has 4 other children by all different fathers - trying to tie one down.
skydivingfoxes2
9. A Thief
So, not a MIL, but one of my mum's friends.
Her son was on track to become an engineer and then he met this girl. She was a teacher and wanted to be a "full-time mummy" (which there was nothing wrong with).
He ended up dropping out of his degree as she told him, she got pregnant, he works at a dead-end job and she demanded she cut him off from all his family. She's very anti-vax/5G and is totally consumed with every conspiracy theory going on.
He no longer talks to his mum or any of the family. I grew up with him and he was always such a level-headed, confident guy and now his Facebook feed is full of anti-vax nonsense, baby pictures, or messages between him and his now-wife about how they're going to have the best family forever.
The mother of the guy respects his wishes, but whenever my mum mentions her, she always says that she feels like she lost her son.
Bit heartbreaking tbh.
TheLittleCas
10. Complete Nightmare
Happened to my family.
My aunt has borderline personality disorder. My uncle and her were both divorced when she met him. She claimed her ex-husband had carved his name into her arm with a screwdriver - the scars were there. We all felt really bad for her, and initially, she seemed okay.
My uncle and aunt used to live with my grandparents at that point when they got married. Then weird things started happening, where she would beat her kids and not let my grandparents near them.
Fast forward a few years, my grandmother passed away. My aunt burned all the family photos from my grandmother's safe and stole the heirlooms left for my mother. She then took a literal axe to the crib we gave to her (it used to be mine and my sister's before me).
Denies any knowledge of any of the destruction - the neighbors saw all of this happen.
My grandfather had enough and asked my aunt, uncle, and that point, two kids to move to the apartment upstairs (he owned the building and lived off the rent post-retirement). She would throw trash and human feces from her balcony into his balcony. Eventually, this woman, who is 5ft 9in and an aerobics instructor, threatened to accuse my 5ft 0in grandfather of abuse if he didn't sign over the whole building to her and move out.
Eventually, he sold the building to a property developer and now lives with my parents.
A couple of years ago, we found out from others who knew her family that my aunt had been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and schizophrenia years earlier. She had carved her ex-husband's name into her arm in order to emotionally blackmail him into staying.
My aunt and uncle are still married (though he literally took up a job in Nigeria just to get away from her) - we don't talk anymore.
Untreated mental illness is a terrible thing. If you and your parents lie about it to a prospective partner, that is totally abhorrent.
Be honest and seek help.
WellOkayMaybe
11. Taken Advantage
I'm writing on behalf of my mother. My SIL is a lazy, obnoxious cow. She hasn't worked in 10 years, while my brother works 60 hrs a week minimum. Even though she gets an allowance for being a stay-at-home mum, that goes to cigarettes and, until recently, a crapload of pot.
My brother went years without a birthday/Christmas/Father’s Day card or gift from her. (Like... not even a card?!?!) So my mum used to come down for weeks at a time whenever my SIL was 'unwell' (read: withdrawing).
Last year, my mum bought my brother a big, expensive, kick-ass birthday present. He's worth it, we always try to show him what he's worth. Well, Mrs SIL chucked a wobbly.
SIL: You need to stop buying him crap, or you and I will be having words OUT THE FRONT!!
Mom: [Mum looked dead at her] You wanna beat me up because I treat your husband better than you?!
That's just 1 story.
Green_eyes_1986
12. The Scammers
On behalf of my grandma, my uncle, and his wife just steal crap. (Family drama rant incoming. Read at your own risk.)
My grandparents gave my uncle and his wife everything. They lived on the farm that my grandpa grew up on. My grandparents moved into the ranch next door that my great-grandparents built, and my “aunt” and uncle moved into the farmhouse.
My grandparents owned it all up until my grandpa died, and my uncle ~convinced~ manipulated my grieving grandma to sign it away to him.
He and my aunt auctioned off the farm equipment before my grandpa’s body was even cold, and now they lock up all the sheds and garages. Who knows what the heck they’re hiding?
My grandma even needs to ask to get into her own freaking property. Sometimes, when I visit my grandma, I hear the outside basement door creak open and I know it’s my aunt sneaking downstairs to look for something she wants.
My grandma can’t hear that door from the living room, so she knows she can come and go without being seen or heard.
It’s gotten to the point that my mom and the rest of my aunts bought my grandma a fridge and freezer with a lock on it because ~her~ “our” food started to go missing.
I hate them. And I don’t care that I’m likely not getting any money when my grandma dies.
I care that they steal from her like she’s already dead.
toothpastenachos
13. Anger Issues
Sharing for my boyfriend: Boyfriend's SIL was already a bit crazy before the wedding 2 years ago but really ramped up after. His brother and SIL fight constantly! Her argument was that he wasn't home enough.
She was convinced he was cheating and/or going out for drinks after work. Fight all day, all night... Would call his parents in the middle of the night, screaming about whatever imagined slight he had committed to try to turn them against him!
Barged into their (in-laws) house randomly, screaming/demanding to see him because "I know you're hiding him!" The brother was at work, he worked long hours to support her and their baby because she didn't work.
Then the pandemic hit and he was laid off, so he's home all the time and they still fight constantly. Now it's just that he's home too often!
No winning in that marriage.
CatsOverFlowers
14. Disney Princess Wannabe
So, one of my sons got me to make an account quickly to give an actual perspective from a mother-in-law.
For me, I don't like my other son's new wife because she's a lazy witch, to put it bluntly. They're both 26 now and she doesn't lift a finger to help do any housework, laundry, etc.
She seems to expect him to do everything for her, and it feels like he's a doormat to me in that respect, even though he probably doesn't see it that way. You can go into their house and there'll be piles of dirty dishes just lying around unwashed, and it's disgusting.
Relationships should mean shared responsibility but she doesn't do her part. On top of that, it's like she treats our home like hers and just makes herself at home around our pool and hot tub, she uses them more than we do, and we live here.
The only good thing I have to say is she doesn't seem to be after him for money (we're a well-off family, and he's making £100k+ at 26 and should be making £500k by 35-40 at this rate), and she builds up more savings than he does despite earning 4x more.
Honestly, I just wish she would do more to help out. Even just offering would be nice even if we don't need it, but as long as they're happy.
I keep out of it.
milthrowaway12312321
15. Just Rebounds
Not a MIL, but I'll reply on behalf of my Mom.
My brother got married 6 months ago. When he proposed, he had known his wife for less than a year. They were each other's rebound, and they moved SO quickly.
Now, there's nothing wrong with that.
To each their own, so we tried to get to know her and get along with her. She is a very judgemental person. My parents are divorced, so she would talk crap about one parent to the other and vice versa, all while being fake nice.
Also, she twists around a lot of things we've said to alienate my brother from us.
So once they started wedding planning, we ended up having a fallout, and I didn't speak to my brother for almost a year. To this day, we're civil, but we don't speak unless we necessarily have to. It makes me very sad, but I want him happy, so I keep them at a distance to avoid any conflict.
Also, my SIL makes zero effort to befriend my Mom. She calls my Stepmother her MIL, and doesn't contact my Mom. That would make sense if my Mom were a crazy person, but she has tried and tried.
So she finally gave up.
GodDamnYou_Bernice
16. Negativity Went On
My whole family hated my brother's (now ex) wife. She was crazy jealous and insecure. If he was a minute late from work, he was cheating. He's a football nut, but she actually accused him of only watching it because of the cheerleaders that they barely show.
He had tons of comic books that he had collected since he was a kid, and she threw them all out one day while he was at work because it was "pornography'.
She once got angry when they came over to my mom's house because I Love Lucy was on and Lucy and Ethel were in bathing suits.
Like black and white, 1950's bathing suits. She refused to work because they had two young boys, but she would drop them off at her mom's and go shopping all day. And she completely controlled their banking account.
Complete psycho.
lannett
17. She A Virus
I am typing for my mother, who disapproved of my brother's fiance. They ultimately did not get married.
FDIL was hugely dependent on other people to blame her immature and dangerous behavior on. She was never responsible for her decisions. Someone (namely her idiot and racist parents) was always to blame for "convincing/making" her do something.
She was insanely jealous. She was jealous of every girl in his wake, even cousins and sisters. She saw jealousy in the relationship and did things deliberately to call her relationships into question. She would dance and dress provocatively with other men and then be shocked and offended when her obvious behavior was called out in double standard.
She made zero effort to integrate into our culture yet demanded he and we make changes to accommodate her and her culture. Going so far as to demand we all learn a new language so that their future children would not be confused.
It was not enough that we spoke 2 out of the 3 languages she wanted us to learn. It must always be 100% in her favor. No compromising.
She brought out the worst parts of his character. He has ego issues. She inflated it and spoke down to his friends. Slowly alienating him and reducing his outside influences down to her and a few "ugly" other couples. She laughed in his family's face, openly called us stupid, and had no issue disrespecting our home and his parents.
In short, he was isolated, ego-driven, money-hungry, and completely insecure, and only her validation or the validation of her parents was going to make his decisions.
Thank god we were able to finally talk to him about staying with her; the venue was booked.
higginsnburke
18. Second Person
My grandmother hated my mother because my father was married once before, and "it doesn't count the second time."
Basically, she preferred his ex to my mom because of the divorce. I'm not making assumptions based on her behavior or things my mother said.
She actually said that to me in those exact words many times as she gave my half siblings gifts but not me (Grandpa snuck me gifts behind her back, though, because he wasn't an awful person).
She was clearly a horrible person, not an average MIL who just dislikes her DIL.
_McTwitch_
19. The Forgotten
My grandma hated my mom, though I'm not really clear on why. My dad was her first son to get married, and she's very big on carrying tradition, the family name, etc, so I'm sure that contributed when he married a French woman.
She also hated me for being the firstborn grandchild and not having a penis to carry on the family name. So, throughout my childhood, she treated me and my mother horribly.
I'd never get the same gifts as the other grandkids (if I got anything at all), and she would just overall treat me like crap and say horrible things about me and my mom when she didn't think we'd hear.
Nothing my mom ever did was good enough.
She's mellowed in her old age, but it's way too little, way too late.
2bass
20. Hating Season
My grandma hated my uncle's wife. I think it was pure jealousy. Grandma was a bit of a controlling type and hated being "replaced." She treated my uncle like a child. Sadly, he died of cancer while still pretty young. Grandma tried to re-write the obituary and managed to piss off my uncle's wife and children for a very long time.
My mom hated my brother's first wife. There were plenty of good reasons- she was an addict, a liar, and a cheater, among other things.
My MIL didn't hate me, but she didn't love me either. She resented me and wanted to be the only woman in my husband's life. It was obvious that she would have felt like that about anyone.
I did not like my son's first girlfriend. She seemed very disinterested in everything but herself and her phone. I didn't really know her well or for long, but struggled to see what he liked about her beyond her looks.
She was pretty.
puss_parkerswidow
21. Horror of Past
I was with a woman I thought would be my wife. We talked about it. Looked at rings, etc. she was Catholic. I'm not.
Her mom HATED my guts because I wasn't Catholic. Her mom would send her emails monthly saying he wasn't Catholic. He's not rich and never will be. Find yourself a rich Catholic boy so you don't have to work." Etc etc.
The mom got to the point where she spread rumors to my ex’s friends about me. So now the mom and a bunch of her friends don't like me.
So she left me in January. I've barely spoken to her. I got in touch with her the other day and told her how badly I want her back. Turns out, she's got herself a wealthy Catholic boyfriend now.
3 years being with her and being broken up for 4 months. I still dream about her every night, and she moved on a few weeks after the split.
Feels bad, man.
TriggsIsMe
22. Woman’s Guts
I love both my daughters-in-law in law...now. But at one time, my oldest was very serious and talking about marriage with a girl that NO ONE I knew liked except my son.
She was really arrogant with no particularly good reason for being so.
She didn't appear to like anyone else either.
She was just very bad-natured. I was upset for my son but also relieved when she broke it off - he'd hit a bad patch and was out of work, so she started seeing someone else.
implodemode
23. Own MIL
Fun story time:
My coworker and I both have terrible MILs. We always complain to each other because we 'got it,' and it's hard to talk to your husband about it because they clearly love their parent and their parent treats them well.
One day, she turned to me and said something I found irritating at some point.
Coworker: I know I am going to hate my future daughter-in-law because no matter who she is or what she does, she will never be good enough for my baby.
Me: So basically, you want to be your mother-in-law?
Her eyes got really big, and she was horrified that she would act the way our MIL would without even knowing who he was possibly ever going to meet. He was in middle school at the time and years away from being that serious with anyone.
I am pretty sure that is the mentality of my own mother-in-law.
SylleeMage
24. Black Sheep
My grandma didn't like one of her son's wives (she had 6 sons and 1 daughter). This wife did turn out to be a witch.
She wasn't a cheat or a whore, just really greedy and sneaky, and eventually, this DIL got herself black-sheep after the crap she encouraged the husband to engage in, which she did as well.
This crap included financial fraud and backstabbing against other family members.
This DIL and the son ended up having a terrible life after they cheated/used a specific family member for their own financial gain, so there's some karma in there.
frankiethepillow
25. Totally Unreasonable
My mother hates my wife of 9 years and always has. My wife is half Hispanic, had a son from a previous marriage, had a father who was an ex-con, and feels that my wife was taking me from her.
I'm the only child who lived near them.
She would go as far as to invite me and my wife's daughter to do things and not my wife and stepson.
My father wasn't much better either.
Needless to say, I had to cut ties with my parents.
I'm also much happier since then.
BATharp
26. No Clue
My mom hated my wife and I don't know why. my wife is beautiful, smart, kind and has never done anything to my mom. I mean frankly my wife is way to good for me. She's always been nice and a great mom to her grandkids.
I guess my mom had this way of making these kinds of backhanded comments.
I never noticed it and kind of dismissed my wife about it for the first 5 years of our marriage.
One day, she admitted that she didn't like my wife, and that was it. I haven't talked to my family in 2 years now.
That was the best decision I've ever made.
incrediblyhopefull
27. Complete Hater
My mother hates my wife, and she gives different reasons why. She's Mexican and probably marrying me to stay in the US (Not true she's a natural-born American)
She's belligerent and argumentative (She stands up to people, including my mother).
Now it's because she stays at home and I have to work (my wife has health issues and can't work).
I always assumed the real reason was because my wife makes me happy, and my mom actually hates the idea of me being happy.
[deleted]
28. Excluded Woman
My mother-in-law never liked me much. She didn't hate me, but I am pretty sure she thought her son was better than me. Plus, to her, if you aren't blood, you aren't family.
She had pictures all over her house of her other kids, of my kids, of my husband, but not one single picture of me. I spent 20 years trying to get her to like me, and then suddenly, I just didn't care anymore.
I was pleasant and helped out when needed, but just did not give a rat's ass—made everything much easier. The thing I'm proudest of is that my kids have no idea. She's dead now, and I have never said a bad word about her to them.
They loved her. But at her funeral, I was told to go in with the rest of the people, that this part was just for family.
Mumbaibabi
29. High Standards
My mom was hesitant at first because 'Oh noes same sex, how am I gonna get grandbabies? ' Shhh, Mom, it's okay. you have two more chances with my siblings, but also, none of us owe you grandbabies.
She also seems to struggle with her perception of my partner's intelligence and anxiety.
On the other hand, my partner's mother constantly talks about how I lack a 'real job.'
I am physically disabled and autistic (making most typical entry-level jobs hell if not impossible), I do the budgeting and whatnot (my partner is dyscalculic/learning disabled, which ties into my mom's issue regarding smarts), we aren't on benefits, and I do art as well. She knows all of this. But that's not good enough, of course!
We work really, really well together, for the record, almost a brains and brawn sorta deal. Our strengths and weaknesses suit each other nicely!
LucianoGianni
30. My Way
My sister experienced it when she lived with my SIL and brother.
SIL had a very particular way of doing things. So she told my sister not to do anything because SIL had an order. Dishes? Nope, leave it in the sink. Cleaning? Nope, you're not doing it my way. So, as my SIL said, my sister didn't touch any cleaning.
Then SIL got upset my sister didn't clean. Made a PowerPoint presentation on everything my sister did wrong.
These presentations would last a minimum of 20 minutes and up to an hour or so.
My sister was confused because when she did help, she was told she was doing it wrong, and SIL told her to stop. Now that she stopped, SIL is mad my sister isn't helping.
My sister isn't dirty by any means, she knows how to clean up. It just wasn't being done the way SIL wanted it to be done.
My sister had to sit through multiple presentations when she lived with them.
[deleted]
31. Coming Out
How about a crazy daughter, son-in-law story? So I have one daughter who at 20 "came out" to me. As gay? No. As a polygamist. A pregnant one.
Pregnant by a 40-year-old dude with a wife and three grown kids. I was 44 at the time.
Long story short, the original wife got sick of all the crazy and left. Now my daughter and the son-in-law are monogamous with five kids.
I have a son-in-law who is 4 years younger than me.
throwmebaby6754
32. Just Because
My sibling had the worst mother-in-law. This woman would not talk to our mother because she was divorced.
Technically our mother had biblical grounds for doing this but when mom entered the room the MIL would leave.
After a while it just got ridiculous and mom would just flit from room to room to mess with her at the kid birthday parties. No one felt strongly enough to put their foot down and stop the game.
imissbklyn
33. A Monster
Not the mother-in-law, but my brother's ex-wife.
She instigated a fight with him over the phone, recorded him once she got him mad, and reported him to the police. She then told them exactly where to find him, as he was employed as a high school teacher at the time.
She stopped making payments on the house after she got him out and eventually, it was repossessed. She started cavorting around with our younger brother and dated him for like two years after they divorced.
We think that they had been running around behind his back for at least three years beforehand, and personally, I'm pretty sure she groomed him from as young as 16 (hurk)
And the real kicker: she was running around with our younger brother mostly at our mom's house.
Just a completely disgusting sociopathic monster. I've told my brother if he needs her tires slashed so she misses a court date, I'm in.
ProjectKurtz
34. Lie to me
Dude the first time I met my in-laws (who live in a different country) I incidentally became totally blind and paralyzed. Turned out I had a disease called NMO it’s like hipster multiple sclerosis if you will.
Anyway for three years, he pretended to like me then one day let it all out that he thought my getting sick was too timely and that obviously, it was medical tourism and I was just taking advantage of his daughter for money because I’m disabled now.
Man, that sucked because I actually looked up to him, my dad’s not a good sort and I really value older male role models.
Conversely, my MIL overtly hated me from day 1, but learning her language made her begrudgingly respect me and she seems to have mostly chilled out and we get along and I look forward to seeing her and such.
Don’t call more than strictly necessary though.
driftingfornow
35. Her Rules
My sister's exs entire family thinks my sister "wants to turn her son into a girl" because she doesn't squash his outgoing personality and lets him make his own choices.
How dare she let him have emotional outbursts instead of saying "you're fine, stop acting like a girl!" when he cries. Choices like dressing up and pretending to be a girl or boy or painting his nails.
These don't seem like red flags to me, little boys surrounded by women tend to pick up things like makeup and stuff. And my sister just goes with the flow.
That family also refuses to acknowledge that my nephew has an uncle that was born female but transitioned and goes by a new name now.
I don't know what my sister's ex in laws did to their kids but they really stunted their mental growth and reinforced gender roles to the point it's nearly abusive.
n0vapine
36. Breaking The Cycle
I'm the DIL and my MIL is not a bad person (far from it, she's generous to a fault and overly kind, if that makes sense), but gender roles, trauma, and religion basically made her teach my husband NOTHING useful about managing negative emotions, socializing or domestic chores.
She does and manages EVERYTHING for the whole household and they used to operate at stepford smiler levels of toxic positivity at times - they're better now, but it still creeps up at times.
So everyone is/was kind of useless and helpless without her around and expressing bad feelings or failures was just Not Done.
So it was a very unpleasant process for her and my husband when husband started dating me and I started making him DO things and MANAGE HIS OWN CRAP instead of letting his mom do it.
I don't care that you don't know how to do the dishes, freaking learn.
I don't care that you think therapy isn't going to help, you need it to manage your myriad of mental illnesses. I'm not your maid, step up mister.
I was pretty implacable once I hit a certain point, and my husband (being of similar personality to his mom - he's a ginormous teddy bear) went along with it, because he wanted to make me happy.
Even though my motivation was to make him actually proud of himself and have him feel like he's an actual adult who can handle his own things, as opposed to a depressed guy with low self-esteem who was afraid to try anything for fear of screwing up.
The process of forcing him to learn this stuff made him realize he'd never been TAUGHT it by his mom, which really soured his relationship with her for a long time. So they were estranged for about 2.5 years because he had so much anger and resentment over it.
To her, it looked like I was turning him against his family and said as much, especially because I called them out pretty harshly on the toxic Stepford Smiler aspects that both his parents had.
The nice thing is though, is now my husband is happy, his mental health is well managed, and he is that perfect blend of self-assured but humble because he knows what he wants and how to do things himself now without turning into a puddle of anxiety.
His parents took my words to heart and mellowed out a LOT, and now they all get along again, and I'm honestly happy about it. But ooooof it was a brutal process for a couple of years there.
Peregrinebullet
37. Always Her
I'm the DIL.
In my MIL's POV, I am the evil snake that is ruining her family and its values. I'm manipulating her son into a man who rejects his family and won't let them into our lives.
My husband suddenly has these boundaries and secrets. He doesn't want to be involved in anything with his family and refuses to invite them over to see our children. I must be changing him and turning him against them! It's all my fault!
The reality is... my MIL is a huge boundary stomper and doesn't have basic respect for us. We have very simple boundaries and she has fits about them because she can't do whatever she wants when she wants.
For goodness sake, she literally witched about how she has to "make an appointment" to come over to our house instead of just popping by whenever she felt like it.
She expects my husband to be her personal free laborer and her idea of family is her being heavily involved in every aspect of my and my husband's lives. Her increasing ridiculousness just keeps pushing my husband further away from her with each issue she blows up on.
So yeah, I'm a horrible DIL in my MIL's eyes, but I'm honestly neutral about it.
I don't need or want her approval.
magicrowantree
38. Tons of Accusations
Not a DIL yet (my stepson's girlfriend and mother of my 2 grand babies )... but I’m 19 years younger than my husband but 12 years older than my stepson. She thinks I want to sleep with my stepson ( never gave her any reason to think this, I do not want to).
She keeps the babies from us, rarely do we get to see them unless, of course, she has a circumstance that is her only option for a babysitter.
We’ve tried very hard to have a good relationship but she just hates me.
I once even stopped by their house to visit, she was cordial but my stepson got an earful when he got home from work.
Just sad all around- she doesn’t want us in their lives.
jaylynn110117
39. The Cleaner
I have a DIL story. My ex-MIL was over the top. She lived 5 minutes from the x, and she came to his house 5 days a week to clean. She was always telling me to clean, how to clean it, and how I could clean stuff when the product used for it wasn't available.
All her conversations were about cleaning. She would come to the house on my free days at 9 AM when I was lying in bed (I sleep naked), and she would yell at me to just stay there (like I had any choice).
She would tell me what and how she was cleaning everything, screaming advice from the other rooms (while I was still trying to sleep in my birthday suit)
I'm not a messy person, btw! I cleaned my house three times a week, from the time I left my home (at 14 years old).
The ex was 27 (and I was 24) when he got his apartment.
I just couldn't live with it anymore. The ex just wouldn't stand up to MIL. When we broke up, she texted me and started asking why I broke up with him. I told her in a kind manner that I thought the ex had a lot of growing up and learning to do.
And that it would be helpful if she would let him do this on his own! I hope she listened.
My current MIL is so impressed by my cleaning skills, that she always lets her cleaners call me to ask me what they need to use.
Guess who's tips I'm sharing!
jayda92
40. A Storyteller
I had a monster in law-now ex.. But from her perspective, I'm the evil dil (and she's not wrong from her perspective).
My ex-husband told her half of the story.
Ex: The first was a month into dating 'my girlfriend got mad and broke up with me because I have a female friend. She says if I want her back, I can never see friend.
What actually happened is he was going out at 4 am with said friend, forgetting about me completely or plans we had in favor of the friend and I chose to end things.
He then begged for me back and we had a discussion about it.
Me: You lack boundaries and I don't want to feel as I have been so I don't think this will work.
Ex: Okay, then I’d cut her out, you’re more important
Me: I'm OK if you don’t there just needs to be boundaries
But he cut her out.
Anytime we had a reasonable disagreement he'd go to her with his half truths and she'd eat them up. So to her, I was controlling, evil, manipulative, toxic, etc.
He told me she was a raging narcissistic alcoholic. She treated me like crap because of her perspective. I iced her out because of mine.
Now I know that my ex actually gets gitty starting drama and watching people react based on his stories. I got tired of the drama of being with him and left 3 years ago.
I grey rock like a champ so the only person who reacts anymore, is him when he realizes he can't control me anymore.
Bajingosisters
41. High and Mighty
My MIL refused to even sit in the same room as me from the very start let alone meet me. Because I’m white, have tattoos, and didn’t get a college degree (still successful with a great salary) and because I had “been in a relationship before so won’t treasure my son”.
Actually, it was because she wanted her son's money and affection all to herself. Well, her son and I aren’t together anymore, you can have that full of crap!
Justdontevenworry
42. Unfortunate Relationship
My MIL was treated badly by her MIL. But nope, she is/was unwelcoming and uninterested in anything but herself, her life, her childhood, etc. No real interest in knowing me or my children with her son.
Extra bummer because my mom has been dead since I was 18 so a loving mother figure in my life would have been awesome to have.
Luckily my aunt has been that force for me.
But a pity that my MIL did not want to.
LilEmBellyRocks
43. Unsolicited Comments
Haha I am in a common situation with my future mother-in-law. She would never say anything to me about it though.
But one time I heard her saying to my fiance something about how terrible a job he did of hanging stuff up on the line and it was actually me :P
I also saw the look on her face one time when she opened my pantry and saw the shambles inside. She seems to be very conscious of not being interfering or trying to get me to do things her way though.
But I know she knows better ways to do things than me.
Just I am way lazier.
Alect0
44. Weird One
I will respond for my mother. She hates the fact that her daughter-in-law does not respond to phone calls or texts. She understands that she is a new mom but how long does it take to reply to a text message?
I also want to add that she's turned the holidays from a casual wear you PJs & bust out your paper plates into a sit-down event with formal place settings.
I don't enjoy getting together to eat with my family during Thanksgiving and Christmas anymore.
This year I was at least smart enough to bring salt packets.
GrillMarks0
45. After Graduation
My son’s GF practically lives with us. After she graduates from college, they will get married.
Things I HATE!!!!!
I text him; she responds like she's him >.<
We are doing major renovations on the house. She didn't help AT ALL. I understand if reno is not your thing. But I was running in and out of the house, switching laundry and cleaning up little messes.
She didn't offer to help.
color_me_curious