Lawyers Reveal the Messiest Divorces They've Ever Seen

Not every marriage is a match made in heaven. In fact, it's widely acknowledged that 40% to 50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce.

Divorce battles can get ugly, petty and messy, especially when large sums of money, children or properties are involved — with lawyers, accountants, friends and family there to watch the foundations crumble into dust.

Here, Reddit commenters talk about some of the most outrageous divorces they've ever seen --- and it isn't pretty.

Comments have been edited for length and clarity.

1. Lost the wife, won the lottery

Not a lawyer, but my husband's uncle (they're close to the same age) was going through a divorce. It was messy and he got completely blindsided, but it’s still kind of a funny story.

Anyway, his wife had just packed up her stuff and their kids and moved out one day while he was at work. With no warning — she was just gone.

It came to light that a few weeks before she left, she'd won a “$5,000 per week for life” lottery ticket.

She hid it, and thought she could divorce him without splitting her winnings.

That didn't work out very well for her.

jader88

I was in a mediation where it took the couple an hour and a half to split their personal property, retirement accounts, real property and custody of their six month old son.

The rest of the day, about four hours, was spent arguing about how to split the time with the dog.

For the kid they just put "as agreed upon by the parties" but the dog had a strict calendar working out holidays and strict pickup/drop off times.

I was ashamed to be a part of that unbelievable display.

FattyBinz

Not my case, but during my first year of law school, lawyers from different practices came to give us a peek behind the curtain of different areas.

The divorce lawyer told the story of a rather well-to-do couple that spent months and months and many tens of thousands of dollars fighting over absolutely everything all the way down to a single ceramic ashtray.

He couldn’t remember the significance, but somehow it had come through the husband’s family.

Even after everything else had been decided, they spent many more months and nearly $100,000 fighting over just this ashtray. Then, after a court hearing the wife finally won the ashtray.

She promptly strode out to the white courthouse steps and smashed the ceramic ashtray. Left the pieces all over for the husband to see on his way out.

Decided that day I would not be a divorce lawyer.

105degrees_andrising

Divorce lawyer here. Spouse had been out of the house for weeks.

She waited until he was on a business trip, came into the house, turned on all of the faucets, plugged the drains, turned off the furnace and left. It was -10 degrees F.

He came back five days later. The house was ruined. The water froze and cracked the foundation.

Slagathar1

My parents divorce was pretty bad. As a side note, it really made no sense how my parents ever got married. Their backgrounds were very different, education was different, and they had nothing in common.

Anyway, it started with trouble when I was in 5th grade and it got around to the school, so my sister and I were thrown into counseling.

It came to a terrible breaking point when my mom decided to get our new dog neutered. It was a rational decision on her part but my dad didn't want it because of male nonsense.

As revenge for this he ran the lawn mower over her entire garden and other landscaping, took a baseball bat to all the garden decorations and basically destroyed her entire hobby and all the work she put into it.

She had to come home to that, and I got to sit at the dinner table and watch it happening. It was awful. If I remember right she packed up her things right there and then and left.

I don't blame her. My dad was a pretty nasty person, and hasn't gotten any better over the years either.

FuffyKitty

When I was young my parents had milk delivered to the house each week. It was a good deal, the milk was from a local coop and the delivery routes were privately owned.

The owner of our route got divorced and told us the story of his mediation.

She and her lawyer had calculated the value of his milk delivery business to be $2.5 million (mind you, this was the mid '80s). She of course is seeking half that amount.

His lawyer begins to balk that their estimate is unfair (it was probably legitimate when you calculated assets, inventory, balance, lack of debit and revenue) and they would never agree to it, but he is cut short by his client.

Our milkman then looks across the table and says something to the effect of "I agree to your estimation. Go ahead and cut me a check, everybody shows up at six, you'll have to be there by five to have everything ready for them."

He then tosses the work keys across the table as he sits back down. They eventually agreed upon a more reasonable number.

Valarmorghulis

One guy had his wife served with the divorce papers while she was in the hospital undergoing cancer treatment. She had no idea he wanted a divorce.

One guy wanted a provision in his divorce that said his sons couldn't watch NASCAR because the wife's new boyfriend was into NASCAR.

In the same case, the property division was so contentious that the judge had the parties list every piece of furniture in the house and try to work through who would get what.

The guy made sure that he wanted everything she did, down to things like lace doilies her grandma made and some trophy she won in a women's shooting competition — "I bought her the gun so it's pretty much my trophy.”

Another guy wanted no custody and no visitation with his four sons until he learned how much child support would be. Then he wanted full custody with no visitation for the wife in the hope that she'd have to pay him child support.

I only did divorces for about a year before I moved on to mortgage foreclosures. Those are far less depressing.

jennifer1911

One of my father's friends tried to salt the earth before getting divorced.

A rental house and a cabin were deeded to relatives, the cars they drove every day were sold to other relatives for tiny sums, stocks handed over to a trust “for the children” and so on and so forth.

He even vanished a chunk of cash from the company he co-owned with his wife using phony invoices and stopped paying himself a salary, electing to burn through their personal savings for over a year instead.

He learned that judges really, really hate when you try to hide or intentionally diminish assets, and they will absolutely refer you to prosecutors for fraud.

I don't think he did any jail time in the end, but his ex-wife got EVERYTHING, plus the satisfaction of firing him from his own company.

technos

I work in civil litigation, so not divorce, but I had a case where part of the issue was the previous dangerous behavior of Plaintiff's dogs.

My client believed that part of Plaintiff's divorce involved not allowing the dogs around Plaintiff's kids, so we filed to unseal the divorce settlement agreement.

The divorce was between two lawyers and it was a doozy of a settlement. They had two single-spaced pages dedicated to splitting up family stuffed animals. It was pretty heartbreaking to read who would be getting things like Boots the Bear.

chaiiya

Finally my moment to shine.

A mother (U.S. citizen) who took her child from Argentina and ran back to the U.S. (child born in AR). I represented the Argentinean father/husband. Federal court and Argentina government got involved.

Made the news in Buenos Aires. We won and had the child returned to the father in Argentina.

Also represented a woman who was convinced that her husband had implanted micro robots into her brain and was trying to control her. She would bring us all these nano tech articles trying to convince us that it was possible.

She dragged the case out for four years convinced that he had done all kinds of illegal stuff (like destroying her car brakes so she would crash and putting poison into her tap water).

She was nuts, we almost had to get a conservator for her estate.

Anonymous

My grandparents' divorce — I refused to help them with it or get involved. I think my only advice was to burn all of their possessions.

It was truly awful. It went on for at least four years. My grandfather was a shopping addict and hoarder and my step grandmother left the minute that they ran out of cash.

They then proceeded to fight about every object they had all while both being in the middle of dying.

She was dying of cancer and alzheimers and he of diabetes and kidney failure, so it wasn't like they had some grand plan about how someone was going to use any of these objects.

They owned basically nothing of actual value.

My grandfather was just awful and wouldn't let her go (did she know she was leaving? Not sure...) and wrote her nasty letters weekly. After my grandfather died, my family threw away or donated virtually every last hammer, hat and book they fought over.

What a waste of time and energy their whole divorce fiasco was. I'm sure they greatly annoyed their respective attorneys greatly.

Good_parabola

My parents' divorce took an ungodly amount of time (and, therefore, money).

My mom found out about 10 years after the fact that her lawyer and my dad's lawyer were colluding to drag the case out as long as possible.

Mom didn't want to have to deal with dad, so she never went after the lawyer.

The judge didn’t take too kindly to the fact that they were wasting so much time, and ordered that an agreement be reached by such and such a time.

It was terrible watching them put each other through financial ruin.

I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.

Anonymous

An ex-friend of mine had to divorce his first wife via the newspaper. I say "had" because she was one of those "if I can't have you, no one can" kind of girls.

For example, she showed up at my work the day after their wedding with framed photos of their wedding, framed copies of their church and legal wedding certificates and told me “You better keep your hands off him!

He's mine, and if he tells you he's single, you know he's lying!"

Apparently, he ended up leaving to “visit relatives” out of state and had to post it in the paper to avoid her doing something dangerous to him.

I say ex-friend because he married someone else, pulled the same thing on her and then went on a screed on Facebook to tell us all off because he told us she was abusing him.

He went back to her, and blocked us all off Facebook.

Anonymous

I work as a divorce lawyer in Australia.

I once saw a divorcing husband who hid $10 million by making an overpayment to the tax office.

Auditors thought it was a tax payment and processed it — you know, business as usual.

Six months later it was refunded — meaning he got the money back plus base interest rate.

He actually made money on his divorce.

I can’t believe it worked, it was so slimy and devious. He never faced any penalization for doing this.

Don’t try to pull this off nowadays, though.

Auditors have since caught on to this scheme, and you most definitely could face penalties or even jail time.

Syidd

My mom's fiancé worked for a major company that delivers supplies/uniforms/etc. to other companies. He had gone through a nasty divorce with his ex, who is completely psychotic from what I have seen and researched in court docs.

They have shared custody.

Well one day she calls up his employer's corporate office and says that one of their employees is breaking the job code by taking pictures while on the job as he was driving (mostly from stuff like when the avengers were shooting and he was stuck in traffic going nowhere).

This on a corporate level means instant termination if true.

The pictures weren't even public to begin with, and she only was able to access them through their daughter's gmail account while the daughter was logged in. She copied them and sent them to corporate.

He then lost his job of 22 years. His boss couldn't do anything to help as it was a corporate firing.

Here is the kicker. She then sees him in court the next week since they were already scheduled to discuss custody (she is always trying to get full with supervised visitation).

In court she brings up how he doesn't have a job and then demands full custody since he is an unfit parent.

Judge then tells her that there is no way in hell she is getting custody and she is more of an unfit parent than he is. He continues to tell her that she just caused the main source of support for their child to become unemployed, based entirely off her decision to call in and report it.

This was the first time I ever left a courthouse with a grin on my face as she finally got what she deserved.

xRehab

My parents got divorced when I was 12.

I am sketchy on the details but I remember it was drawn-out and acrimonious.

It took well over a year for the divorce to be finalized, and the whole process was a lot more complex than it needed to be.

My mom was awarded a massive settlement, my dad was basically left with a superannuation and nothing else.

After the ruling was handed down my mother’s own lawyer walked into my father and his lawyer’s meeting and said, “That ruling was total garbage. If I were you, I would appeal.”

Has to be pretty bad when a lawyer wants his own win overturned.

justjayfornow

In the early ‘80s there was a really popular, non-chain pizza restaurant where I lived. Maybe not such a big deal today in the land of snazzy chains but at the time it was a really popular hangout in a small suburban town for the high school crowd and families, church groups, etc.

It had a real soda fountain and the owner/proprietor was a real showman behind the counter, mixing fancy soft drinks and telling jokes as he worked. He was a real personality in a good sense.

Anyway, the restaurant owner, who worked behind the counter every day, ended up divorcing his wife.

The wife never worked there that we knew of or even came into the place. Shortly after divorce was complete, the place became terrible — slow service, cold food, dirty dining room, etc.

The owner/divorced husband explained, she got the majority interest in the business that he built and she didn't have to work there.

He said it was like slavery to him, he had to work and she got the profits. So he decided to run the business into the ground. If she wanted to come in and work, she could have it, but she just wanted the profits.

It went under within six months and became a taco joint with different owners.

hatheaded

I had a crazy client once involved in a dissolution of domestic partnership (not married, but had been together 20 years). She had an insane amount of stories about the opposing party (drug dealer, he had killed a man and all sorts of other wild accusations).

No idea what was reality vs. what she made up. They had millions between them and were fighting over every last Native American artifact, household item, etc. At one point she offered me gold nuggets as a "gift" because she liked me so much (which I had to ethically refuse as a non de minimis gift from a current client).

I eventually got off the case when I changed jobs.

I think it's currently under appeal now so I can't give any further detail, but there was some pretty crazy stuff involved in this case, including accusations that the opposing party was sleeping with his attorney (which shockingly had some basis in reality when investigated, but I got off the case right around then).

VegaDark541

Day 58 of the 60 days it took for my parents’ divorce to be final, my dad called my mom at work and begged her to call it off and take him back.

She said no. He went from sad and crying to pissed, saying, "So this is how you want things?"

About an hour and a half later, my mom got another phone call from someone letting her know that our house was on fire. It was arson, of course. I wish that's the worst I could say about their divorce.

Snowwhite88

I know a couple who are recently divorced. They were together for 20 years, no kids, and worked their way up to become quite wealthy. However, she was the clear breadwinner and in a senior position in an excellent job.

He also has a good job, but will never make nearly what she earns or close to what her earning potential is. She spent about two years prior to leaving telling him she wanted out, but found it hard to make the move, he would always find some reason to get her to stay.

She met someone and literally walked out the door one day. I don't think he believed she would ever actually do it, so he was extremely angry, especially learning that she walked out the door into the arms of another man.

Her first offer on the table was 50/50 split. He would have come out way ahead on this deal, the house they shared had appreciated by several hundred thousand pounds, along with the flat they rented out.

But his anger got in the way and he spent the next three years insisting on more, at one point having some cockeyed views that he was entitled to 75%.

Even worse, some terrible things about their marriage would never have been forced to come out had he just signed straight away. I was glad she stood her ground, although the divorce went on for three years in the end.

At about the 18 month mark, I know he had spent £20k in lawyers so I imagine she was about the same. Lord knows what the final bills were for both.

At some point he was to hand over some of the furnishings and when she arrived to collect them, they had been cut up and urinated on, amongst other damage.

This guy was seriously shooting himself in the foot with these antics.

I was also pleased to hear that because he was being so difficult, she decided to go for the calculated financial contributions which meant when the divorce was finalized not long ago, she ended up with the lion's share, equitable to what they both put in based on earnings.

And he could have walked away at the beginning with a nice nest egg. He deserved what he got, but still, he’s a damned fool.

homerBM

My father sued my mother for, among other things, a tuna noodle casserole recipe. She dropped off a can of cream of mushroom soup at his lawyers office, the recipe was on the back.

Nobody in our family even ate it, except during lent. He also wanted my 16 year old sister taken off his life insurance, saying he had to make his new wife his sole beneficiary.

And he asked if he could "run the divorce papers down to the court clerk to save time in getting them filed.”He had honeymoon reservations already made for a cruise, following his new wedding in a few days.

Class act!

Fifi_the_bookseller

This is not strictly from a divorce lawyer, but my wife and I heard this story from one of the attorneys when we were closing on our house.

This couple had put an offer on a house and put down $20,000 in earnest money.

So, the day of the closing, in the lawyer's office, they have a huge blow up. Lots of screaming and shouting. The guy gets so fed up, he says "screw it” and leaves the closing.

They never closed on the house, ended up getting divorced, but the seller of the house got to keep the $20k.

DrMonkeyLove

When I was in school, one of my law professors told us why he'll never work in family law. He called it the big spoon problem.

His coworker was acting as a divorce lawyer for a couple, but the reality was that he was the husband's attorney, so he asked my professor to stand in as an attorney for the wife to protect her interests.

Everything had been worked out and the settlement was ready to go, when the wife suddenly asked "Wait … what about the big wooden fork and spoon?"

See, the couple had one of those big fork and spoon sets you hang in your kitchen, and they hadn't included who got it in the settlement agreement. They exploded at each other, each arguing heatedly why they should get the pair and both agreeing that they couldn't be split up.

Eventually, they almost came to blows, my professors stepped in between and it got him punched in the face by the woman.

Settlement agreements broke down afterwards and it had to go to court. Obviously, the problems were more serious than who got the big wooden fork and spoon, but it's amazing how a catalyst like that can set some people off.

BforBandanna

I was a legal assistant a few years back and we had a divorce for a couple from Hong Kong.

The wife was irrational, demanding and was nothing but (understandably) contemptuous toward her husband, who had been cheating on her for a long time. We had to send our process server to his mistress' house at least three times.

The time it had gotten truly ridiculous was around Thanksgiving. The guy was quite a cook and liked to entertain. While the couple was not speaking to each other, they were still cohabitating.

He had been boiling up a tin of condensed milk, a traditional if dangerous way to make dulce de leche, and had forgotten about it and went to work. He had called the home landline, her cell and her work phone to tell her to turn off the burner but she ignored it.

She had gotten home and saw the mess it had made on the ceiling and called us to ask if we could sue him for attempted murder.

They were both just terrible people who shouldn't have been married to each other, let alone anyone else.

Scarl0tHarl0t

A married couple got their gas utility account turned on at their house back in 1972, but the gas company never finished the paperwork properly.

They had free gas service for about 40 years, because their account was active but the billing was never set up.

Later they divorce and the husband gets the house with the free gas service.

The gas company finally caught the problem sometime around 2014, and they sent him a bill for a decade’s worth of gas.

The guy told the company to send the bill to his ex-wife.

There was a clause in the divorce settlement that said that if the gas company ever was notified or discovered the free gas deal, the ex-wife would have to pay any past bill payments.

The arrangement was made so that the wife could never alert the company to their error without having to pay herself.

What was amazing was that two lawyers and a judge signed off on this while fully knowing what the guy was getting away with.

inskeep1

I've worked on precisely two divorces. They were both awful. The first was just a terrible abusive situation, sadly too common, and not a good source for stories. The second, though, was a mid-40s, DINK situation.

Upper middle class engineers, nobody was gonna go hungry at the end of it. Of course, we presumed it'd be a quick, painless negotiation. Nobody told us the husband was a raging alcoholic with no social skills.

Nobody told us that the wife was very attached to the dog.

We divided up the house, all possessions, the bank accounts — everything— in under a week, except for possession of the dog. She was convinced he'd put the dog down.

He kept saying it was man’s best friend, not women's. This case got slated for trial over who got the dog. I mean, that's downright extraordinary — that a divorce goes to trial at all is weird.

That it goes to trial with no kids is weirder. That it goes to trial where both people are financially stable and well-off is, like, comet-hitting-you unlikely. That it goes to trial solely over the possession of a dog is, so far as I can tell from talking to other attorneys, unheard of.

So, pre-trial conference, and the judge is flabbergasted that any of this is going on. He orders a final attempt at mediation to begin after lunch. The husband sneaks away from his attorney to have a liquid lunch and comes back absolutely trashed.

Starts yelling about how he's going to go home and kill the dog to deny her it. Tries to jump over the table. Assaults a bailiff. Runs out through an in-session court, with the presiding judge on the bench.

I never did find out how that one ended as my internship ended before the case did. But I'll always remember it as the moment I decided that I didn't want to do family law.

Fortunately for me, my current boss doesn't take those cases whatsoever.

ANewMachine615

I know a man who was falsely accused of domestic violence during the separation from his wife.

She lived in the marital home and he paid for everything, despite her having a full time job. She got a boyfriend who didn’t work and allowed him to live in the house — while she was still married.

My friend went to meet her at the house for a final time to decide who would take what from the house.

He was recording everything on his phone without her knowledge, as he was afraid something would be said or happen that might be held against him.

He left and found out she had called 911 and reported that he had made death threats and assaulted her.

The divorce went downhill from there.

He spent $14,000 on lawyers to have the charges dismissed. During his criminal ordeal she sued him for $250,000 in alimony.

The recording saved him with the police and to this day she insists he assaulted her. An unbelievable mess.

tinkthechi

A man came into the family law firm and says his wife is cheating on him. He's extremely rich and wants to get divorced.

The lawyer proceeds to ask him about his assets and what he wants to keep. He says that she can have the house, the car, the boat and the kids.

The lawyer asks him what he wants to keep then, given that he doesn't seem to want anything.

The man angrily responds, “That woman only loves her dog. I want her to suffer, so I want the court to order that the dog be taken away from her and cremated.

She can have 50% of the ashes, and I'll have the other 50%."

At this point, I’m beginning to sympathize with the wife and think that this supposed “affair” may have been completely justified.

And despite the crazy, somehow I'm still interested in practising in family law.

askkasan

My 90 year old client (the husband) and his son retained me to initiate divorce proceedings with his 88 year old wife. They’d been married 60 years.

The wife had recently taken to beating him with his own cane, because their daughter poisoned her into thinking he was hiding money from them.

The battle came down to husband and son versus wife and daughter.

At their first court appearance, my client showed up in an old 1950s style pinstripe suit and fedora.

He was a farmer his whole life, and this was clearly the only suit he owned. He was such a meek and lovely old gentleman.

I had to pass my client onto a new lawyer midway through the proceedings because I accepted a job in a different country, but I understand the divorce was eventually granted.

horrifiedwitness

Lawyer here.

One of mine that sticks out is that the husband and wife both played some sort of online role-playing game, sort of like the Sims I think but a little more elaborate and adult.

The wife got heavily involved with the game, like 10 hours a day, and wouldn't reduce her time playing no matter how much he begged and pleaded.

What tipped things over the edge, however, was that he set up a fake profile and went online to stalk her in the game.

He found her avatar having an affair with some random guy's avatar.

Nothing ever happened in real life (they were both pretty awkward people) but that was enough for the guy to initiate a fairly bitter divorce.

yeerkslayer

I'm not a divorce lawyer, but one of my high school friends told me that his parents had a pretty ridiculous reason for getting divorce.

His dad was using the stove to make Jell-O. His mom said Jell-O is too fattening and tried to grab the pan out of his hand to dump it down the sink.

He pulled the pan back while she was trying to snatch it, and she called that act of refusing to throw out the Jell-O "spousal abuse."

He packed his bag and left that night — moved to a town 1,500 miles away where he knew literally no one, just to get away from her.

They had been married for over 20 years, and I think that was just the last straw.

Their divorce also ended up costing them thousands of dollars. It was the most expensive Jell-O I think anyone’s ever had.

andrado

I took my now ex-wife to court because she had used my Social Security number to sign up for cable.

I found out about it when she stopped paying for the service, and the debt collectors started calling me twice a day. She really didn’t think this one through, and I’ll explain how she messed up.

We show up to court, I turn in the contract from the cable company, showing that indeed my Social Security number was indeed on the contract, but her own name was signed on the dotted line.

She didn't even try to forge my signature! She signed her own name and then tried to deny that she had any part of it.

The judge tore her apart and it was extremely satisfying.

hardlyatwork

My friend is a lawyer that specializes in family law and divorce. I hate to be a party pooper, but many of the stories here are outliers.

Divorce is actually pretty easy, if both members are normal and even-keeled.

He said many people come in peacefully together. It's not necessarily the standard, but it happens, "way more than you'd expect."

Sometimes two people just want to get a quick divorce and move on with their lives.

He said that sometimes they'll devolve into a bit of a battle over assets, but not usually.

He said one couple, after their divorce, sent him a Christmas basket one year. Basically they wanted out and he helped navigate the legalities of it.

There was no fighting or long, drawn-out court battles. Everyone left happy.

formalchicken

Failed exorcisms.

Client had an inner ear condition that caused chronic vertigo, but symptoms could be treated with medication. Husband was an evangelical who was convinced his wife:

   1.   Had become possessed, and that her vertigo were evidence of demonic possession.

   2.   The medications she was taking were enabling the devil to hide inside her .

   3.   The only proper recourse was exorcism. He would hide her meds until she got dizzy and then try various methods of exorcism.

This included:

   1.   Sweating it out — He put her under blankets while incapacitated and locked her in an overheated room.

   2.   Freezing it out — pretty much the reverse with AC, fans and bags of ice.

   3.   Surprising it out — he would jump out and scare her like it was the hiccups, but instead of yelling “Boo!” he would recite the Lord’s Prayer or Psalms.

The final straw was that he tried to “surprise it out of her” by pushing her down the stairs when they were heading out for dinner.

The final, final straw was when he spent thousands of dollars to have a priest come and try to do an exorcism for real.

queequeg789

Unmarried woman comes in and asks, "So, what do I have to do to get his house?"

"Um, you really shouldn't be getting married if you're already planning to end the relationship."

"Yeah, but what do I have to do?"

"Well, if you're married and live in the home, it become a matrimonial home and you have an equal right to possession upon divorce."

"Thanks."

Client calls again: "He wants me to sign a prenup."

"Well, this would limit what you would be able to get in a divorce, and it doesn't really give you anything. Why are you getting married if both you and he know that you're only in it to get his house?"

"Okay so I shouldn't sign it?"

Client calls again a month later: "Okay, we're married now, but he won't let me move in."

wpaattempts

I live in Brazil, and my fiancée is an assistant to the judge. She was telling me [about] this case, and it made me really, really sad. Some dude was driving a truck that was over weight capacity and poorly maintained.

[The] truck malfunctioned somehow, he crashed, went into a coma.

Dude woke up a couple days later in the hospital and found an ex-girlfriend by his side. She said she'd heard about the accident, and that she was there to take care of him.

Dude was in the hospital for a really long time, and wasn't quite himself in the first couple of weeks — not sure if due to drugs or due to some injury from the accident.

Since he was restrained to the hospital, someone had to take care of his business. He had to apply for 'paid disease absence' with the INSS (which is the equivalent to U.S.

social security) amongst other things. So, he gave his ex power of attorney.

She took care of all those things for him. She even got an actual attorney to sue the truck owner (his employer) on his behalf. Dude got stuck in a wheelchair after the accident.

When he left the hospital, they parted ways on good terms. Then he found some girl, fell in love [and they] moved in together. A year later, his lawsuit ended, he won a small amount as restitution (US$30,000, Brazil doesn't have punitive damages) plus a lifetime pension.

Not a week later, he was surprised by divorce papers.

The ex-girlfriend that took care of him used her power of attorney to marry him without his knowledge. She heard he had won the lawsuit and asked for half the restitution and half his lifetime pension.

The marriage had been conceived under obviously fraudulent means, and thus would be easily voided. Had the dude's lawyer realized that and requested the marriage to be voided. He didn't and the judge is forbidden by law to grant something that wasn't requested.

So, the marriage remained valid, which means she was entitled to half his earnings.

Anonymous

Not strictly divorces, but my family law professor had some good stories: In one, the client calls:

"Hi, can I kick my pregnant girlfriend out of the house?"

"You really shouldn't do that."

"But can I? Legally speaking?"

"Since you never married, and the home is in your name, yes, you can legally exclude her, but you really shouldn't."

"Thanks — I need you to explain that to someone."

Client opens the door, where police are getting ready with a ram, and hands the cell phone to a police officer.

Another story:

Unmarried mom comes in and asks: "So, what do I have to do to get his house?"

"Um, you really shouldn't be getting married if you're already planning to end the relationship."

"Yeah, but what do I have to do?"

"Well, if you're married and live in the home, it becomes a matrimonial home and you have an equal right to possession upon divorce."

"Thanks.”

Client calls again: "He wants me to sign a prenup."

"Well, this would limit what you would be able to get in a divorce, and it doesn't really give you anything. Why are you getting married if both you and he know that you're only in it to get his house?"

"OK, so I shouldn't sign it?"

Client calls again: "Okay, we're married now, but he won't let me move in." Family law is crazy.

WPAttempts

I’m getting my counseling license and taking legal/ethics classes. One crazy story is while a lady is in her counseling session, her husband comes in and says to the receptionist that he's her husband and he won't be able to pick up the kids because he has to go into work right then and [asks if] the receptionist [could] let the client know when she gets out of the appointment.

The receptionist says yes.

When the client comes out of her appointment, the receptionist passes along the message and the client says, "Are you serious? He isn't supposed to know I'm here … we're in the middle of a divorce and he's crazy." TLDR: Train receptionists to say, "I can neither confirm or deny that person is a client."

Every_of_the_time11

The husband in a very high stakes divorce managed to hide two apartment complexes, an ocean-front penthouse in a very expensive city. Oh, and an offshore oil rig.

He was a high rolling business executive-type that really knew his way around the law. It was practically criminal what he got away with.

All his assets were held in two offshore companies that the wife did not know about.

It only came out very recently, about two decades later, when the husband died and left some of that property to their two sons (who were able to see the property histories).

Still no word on who inherited the oil rig.

andyjams

This wealthy husband had a listed income of $1.5 million. He made most of his money here on the East Coast.

At the end of the divorce process, it was revealed that the husband had another family in Seattle. He went by a different name, and had an additional $14 million salary.

How was he discovered living the double life?

Seattle wife posted a picture on Facebook and tagged him with his West Coast name. East Coast wife posted a similar photograph of him — the facial recognition software tagged him as his West Coast name.

But wait, there's more! Turns out he has a third wife and two children in the Czech Republic. He had moved to the United States to avoid family court and is still being pursued for extradition.

coldzero

During my dad's last divorce, it came out that his wife had been having an affair.

The thing is, her last three marriages had ended because of her infidelity. Yes, she cheated throughout her last three marriages, and they all ended acrimoniously.

It was with her first boyfriend.

Who was also her step-brother.

Neither her nor my dad wanted to settle, and it ended up coming out in a hearing or trial in front of the court.

The look on the judge’s face was absolutely priceless. Why go through three marriages just to end up with the same guy?

attheeolian

I’m not a lawyer, but this happened to a friend-of-a-friend of mine and boy is it a doozy.

Girl keeps nagging her boyfriend about marriage, but he doesn't want to marry her. The thing is, he doesn’t want to break up either.

So he tells her they'll have a “destination wedding” on a tropical island with a local ceremony. Says it will be very romantic.

They fly out there to tie the knot.

Here’s the kicker: there was no legally binding ceremony.

He just hired some resort staff to pretend to officiate a fake marriage ceremony and no marriage contract was ever drawn up.

The guy then dies years later, and that’s when his “wife” finds out she was never married and is not in the will.

Anonymous

Buddy of mine got divorced. He had a contracting business and was doing quite well.

During the divorce proceedings they decided to sell the business and divide the proceeds. They sold it for over $2 million, and she got 60% in lieu of alimony.

Well, the selling of the business triggered a tax audit and when all was said and done they owed over $700,000 in back taxes and penalties.

Back to court they go.

He claims, "Since she took 60% off the business she should take 60% of the debt. The judge agreed with him.

Unfortunately for her, she had pretty much spent all the proceeds from the divorce and now owed $420,000 to the government, plus accumulating interest.

Anonymous

My mother divorced my dad when I was around two years old.

My parents had bought a house together, and my dad’s family offered her fair value to buy the house from her.

She denied the offer and put it up for sale publicly.

My dad’s family bought it for 40% less than what they offered my mom in a public bidding auction.

Twenty years later and my mom absolutely hates this story, but my dad still jokes about it to this day.

They’re still friends, but it’s a bit of a sore spot.

sterone2

I’ve worked as a legal assistant for two family law attorneys for the last eight years.

One of the cases that made me the angriest was a man who cheated on his wife when she had cancer.

He then leaves his wife and attempts to hide all his assets while she’s undergoing chemotherapy.

Fortunately, my boss is an absolutely ruthless lawyer.

She teamed up with a forensic accountant and they took him to the cleaners. Found everything, all his receipts and assets he tried to hide.

He wound up paying out the nose for the divorce. He even had to pay the forensic accountant’s bill and attorney’s fees.

Let’s just say, make sure you think twice before cheating on a lady with cancer.

crepesuzette

I’m an accountant, not a lawyer, but I’ve still seen some pretty messy divorces in my time. The messiest divorce happened to a friend of mine.

He divorced one woman and then quickly fell into a relationship with another girl half his age. She messed around on him.

They had started a business together but all the designs were his. She wanted the designs.

I went in as his witness and testified about the amount of money they had invested and that yes, the designs had all existed before the marriage.

Well, they spent months fighting about it.It ended up costing them $35,000 each in legal bills. Both ended up filing for bankruptcy.

Luckily, he got the designs and business. Not so luckily, he had to sell his house and leave town.

Anonymous

Not a lawyer, but I remember my friend’s mom’s divorce from her second marriage.

I guess there is a rule where if an attorney has interacted with Party A while on the clock, they can’t offer services to Party B.

I suppose it’s a conflict of interest thing.

So, my friend’s mom called every divorce lawyer within a 100-mile radius and essentially boxed her ex out of a lot of decent representation within a reasonable distance.

If you’re going through a divorce, definitely don’t do this. The judge was not happy when he discovered the little stunt she pulled.

I’m not sure what happened during the divorce proceedings, but I’m sure it wasn’t pretty.

threadbare_penitence

Here we go — law student here.

I worked for a semester for my county counsel's office representing the Public Administrator, which is probate.

A woman married a wealthy doctor in Santa Monica (Californians know where I'm talking about). After a few years of marriage, she runs off with her boyfriend to my county and steals the motorhome in the process.

Not only that, but she changed the mailing address of every bill the couple was responsible for. Doctor files for divorce. But two weeks before the divorce trial, she was hit by a car in a parking lot and was killed.

Her estate is suing the driver for wrongful death. There is a heavy dispute between her mother and the doctor about what (if anything) the estate is owed with regards to the doctor's money.

When she changed the mailing address to the bills, her step son's car insurance stopped being paid and he got in an accident. So the doctor is suing her estate for an insurance tort.

And for the missing motorhome. Which we still can't find.

Anonymous

My first divorce case was the most memorable. My client was a nice looking, 50-ish waitress who was breaking hearts at the local small town cafe. She was on divorce number 5.

I had a little lawyer kit of things she should do — clean out the joint accounts, change the car title, etc. She had done all of them, plus a few things neither I nor the professional list-maker had thought of.

Husband No. 5 came into my office to cry and concede everything. Now that was a guy who needed a lawyer with a list. No such luck, — she screwed him over gently, professionally (I thought) and didn't overreach too much, but got everything she was or might have been entitled to, plus a little more.

Was easy peasy for me. Helps if your first time is with an experienced woman. I learned a lot.

AnathemaMaranatha

My parents divorced was finalized September of 2014, but the separation of assets is still opened. The short of it is that my dad has always been really jealous. About two years ago my dad got it in his head that my mom was cheating with a baker/police officer in our home town (Mexico).

He hired two guys to watch her 24/7, they confirmed that she was cheating and said they had a video. Well $8k and my dad's sanity later, there's no video and my dad is mentally ill.

He hired someone else to kill this baker/police officer, thankfully they too just took his money and did not kill him.

He started going to brothels. He said he would leave my mom on the streets and has attempted to pay off judges. My dad was always a good hard working man, now he is someone I don't know.

Some say it's a mid-life crisis, but the guy is 65 years old. I feel if it was a crisis it should've happened years ago.

My dad thinks he lives in a Colombian Novela.

warriorapple