1. When Love Turns Dark
My boyfriend used to say all kinds of weird things to me. One day he said,
"I decided last night I couldn't hurt myself unless I hurt you first, so you wouldn't have to live with the guilt."
That felt like a red flag so I left him.
A week later, I found out that he was arrested for hurting his new gf.
Socialmediasanity
2. Trust issues, Infidelity and Breakup
I noticed she was engaging in conversations with other men, but when I asked to see their messages, she refused, even though I always allowed her to read my own conversations. Normally, I'm not too strict about messaging others, but this was one of my close friends.
When I confronted him, he was sincerely apologetic, and because of our friendship, I forgave him. He even let me read their messages, which revealed messages expressing longing and explicit photos of her.
This revelation left me seething with anger, especially since he hadn't initiated the conversation; she had. It became clear she was texting him more frequently than she was me.
When I confronted her about this, things escalated. She got upset, thinking I was twisting the narrative to paint her in a negative light. In an alarming turn, she even had two of her friends physically confront me, knowing full well I wouldn't engage in a physical altercation with a woman. Thankfully, I didn't sustain severe injuries, but this only fueled my anger further.
This all unfolded on the eve of the last day before spring break. As soon as the break began, I was out with my friends, trying to clear my mind. It was then that she sent a message, taking responsibility and offering an apology. I'm someone who forgives, but the memory lingers.
Over the next two months, our relationship strained. To be candid, I was merely biding my time, sensing that the end was near. She had a knack for making me feel like the villain in our story, a dynamic I couldn't bear for much longer.
The relationship, which had once held promise, lasted a total of eight months. In retrospect, it became evident that trust had eroded irreparably, and the foundation of our connection had crumbled.
your-sussy_baka
3. The Double Life Dilemma
I found out I was unwittingly in a 3-way relationship as the "emotional support" component 2nd man to the 1st man's "physical" component the hard way.
With her it was lots of talk, cuddling, dates, and playful light over the clothes touching, but never any further than that. I respected her boundaries enough to never question the issue - I just figured she needed a deeper connection first, and I'm cool with waiting however long my partner needs.
Things continued on and eventually, 6 months in, she slipped up and mentioned the man she told me was her "ex" was coming over after I left.
She realized she slipped and I caught it when I questioned her about it, so confessed that he had been doing that regularly throughout our relationship. Oh, but not to worry because it wasn't for anything emotional, mostly just getting drunk and having wild primally satisfying animal instinct.
Being a big fan of both those things, I did not appreciate the deception, to say the least.
beakrake
4. Unmasking the DJ's Unconventional Social Dynamics
He was a little older than me and in a well-known city (a DJ) and he loved taking me and my friends and coworkers out and entertaining us. It was a good time and I'm the type of person who likes to include people in things they might not have a chance to do again. It was a blast.
Then he started taking them out when I wasn't around and entertaining them at our place.
He later referred to me as "the greatest unintentional wingman" he ever met in front of people I knew. Luckily at least one of my coworkers was a decent person and clued me in
staycee35
5. The Call That Changed Everything
The doctor called me 2 weeks after I had my son to tell me that my son’s father had given me chlamydia during my pregnancy.
I had gotten a full test of everything at the end of my first trimester and was negative for any STDs. My labor lasted about 42 hours after my water broke resulting in an emergency c-section. c-section-kept for an extra 2-3 days because I couldn’t shake a fever from some kind of infection they weren’t able to identify at the time.
We stuck it out until our son was a bit less than a year old simply because we were just in the new parent routine together until we got to a point where we could take care of ourselves as individuals.
That phone call killed whatever romantic love I’d had for him. I went through the most traumatic experience of my life (pregnancy included with the labor) and he couldn’t respect our commitment to each other. I was dealing with emotions during that first year or so after my little guy was born.
Doc: How many partners have you had since [6 months previous]?
Me holding my newborn: Uhhh?? One, what is going on?
Doc: You need to come in for meds and bring your partner because if he is the only active contact you’ve had since your last test, he is infected as well but he did not get it from you.
She was incredibly specific about how chlamydia is transmitted to make sure that I did not listen to the lies she must have predicted he would say about how he got it- he tried every last one
mypancrease
6. Gaslight, Camera, Action
We have been together for 20 years, 17 married, 2 amazing and beautiful kids. At 8 years old we had a falling out. Went to counseling, and worked hard to get back what we had.
At 13 years old, she began gaslighting me and my kids, isolated from family and eventually friends. Spent savings reserved for vacations, kid sports, emergencies, holidays, and gifts.
Thousands of dollars. She became emotionally detached, physically absent, and failed to communicate with me about kids, expenses, mental health, and motherhood.
I tried so very hard for years to accommodate and adapt to her ever-changing requests. Finally I went to a doctor about my mental health, and was accused of lying about my intentions with my mental health, my job, my hobbies, and I began drinking heavily.
Last March she asked me if she filed for divorce, would I contest. I very quickly and clearly said no, I believe we are done. She then accused me of raping her for 20 years. Accused my parents of molestation.
Contacted my brother and convinced him and his wife of these heinous acts. I hired an attorney and began the divorce process, moved into the living room, and became sober. I record every interaction with her, audio, video, and text. I'm nearly 40 and refuse to be miserable any longer. My kids deserve more than that.
rpk462
7. Caught in the Crossfire of Jealousy and Summer Courses
I was taking two summer courses in a summer half semester. Physics I and Calculus II in 6 weeks. Classes were 4 hours a day each and the first midterm was two weeks in. I basically got up early in the morning and reached home around midnight (the classes and the commute didn’t leave n
She’d be out of work because one weekend she came over to just hang out while I did homework and studied. Still managed to be super jealous and accuse me of seeing girls on the side. I remember coming home one day and spending an hour I didn’t have to walk around the apartment being interrogated.
At some point, I paused and kinda asked “You know my schedule. You saw it. When exactly do you think I’m cheating on you? On the train in between cars?” To which she replied, “Well l, I wouldn't put it past you.” Mind you, we’d known each other so far and weren’t even officially dating. That was the “hell no, I’m out moment and I pulled the cord.”
My friend introduced us. I knew her through him and he gave her this whole “MrFunktasicc is a player with a ton of girls blah blah blah.” According to him, it was to, talk me up but it sent her into crazy mode.
Mind you he never said I was cheating on anyone, just that I’d been with a lot of girls (false) and I never gave her any indication I was stepping out
Mr funktsastic
8. A Week in the Life of a Hooters Cook
I was a cook at Hooters and had just started dating this girl (from outside work, not a co-worker). After a week, she randomly came in and sat at a table until I got off. I wasn’t expecting her, she didn’t tell me she was coming, I thought it was a nice surprise. I went home with her after work.
The next day she dropped me off. Less than an hour later she came in and sat at a table. She only ordered water and startee reading a book. Her waitress comes up and asks if that’s my new girlfriend and I confirm, and she’s like “Is she just going to sit at my table all night and not order anything?” I’m like idk, I’ll talk to her.
So she’s like yeah well I don’t have anything else to do so I figured I’d just hang out here. By the way, what was she talking to you about? I explain to her that this is my job, and if she’s going to come and hang out she will take care of her waitress, it’s not like a free hangout spot while I’m working. She didn’t quite understand and I’m like whatever I gotta get back to work.
She precedes to do this every shift I work for the rest of the week, and the girls are complaining to me like why is she here every single time you work? The manager questions it too, it’s a business and she’s not anything.
So one night later that week she just came up to me by the kitchen and said “I’m gonna go wait in my car until you’re off” I told her some fun stuff to go check out around the area (she lived an hour North of me) and make the best of her time and she has no interest.
She just wanted to keep an eye on me. Eventually, I persuade her to go home and she gets upset. I was getting kind of irritated but quickly realized she was a stage 5 clinger.
I went home by myself that night, my phone was on silent because I wanted some rest, and woke up the next morning to One Hundred and Seventy-The Seventy-three messages from her. I simply replied “I don’t think this is going to work out” and got 50+ text messages back which I don’t even bother reading till a week later.
TDobbs52
9. Tattoos and Tears
When I was about 19 (about 1999ish) I had a guy have a literal melt down because I got a tattoo. My friends had to drag him out of the tattoo shop, crying and causing a scene because “I was ruining my beautiful body”. Went right to his house and broke up with him. It was so gross, and controlling.
This is the same guy who bragged to our mutual friend about having 2 girlfriends with the same name so he “wouldn’t get confused”.
Recently, I ran into this guy at a club and he eyeballed me up and down and said “I see you got a lot of tattoos” then tried to square up with my 6’ 300 lb husband. I had douche chills for hours just feeling 11.
Zornamental
10. Dating a Psychologist's Daughter
After literally seeing her hit on guys in front of me and invite them out to party with her. When I'd ask, why would you invite those guys out with us? She would claim it didn't happen and I made it all up. Then her friend would get in on the big gaslighting scheme, only to have one of them drunkenly admit later on it was a big lie. Like I didn't know that.
While we were on a date I caught her reminiscing over text with this fat 50-year-old fan they had in front of an entire party of people. She had slept with all her guy friends that she still kept close in her life, and yeah it sucked a lot to have to hang out with all her friends knowing that each one of these guys had a round with my girl. Great times.
She was a psychologist, her dad was a psychologist, and her stepmom was a psychologist. When I mentioned how much all of that mess bore, it right away turned out that I was the one with the problem, and the one with mental health issues.
This went on and on for a couple of years, and I was starting to question myself as a man, and just as a sane human overall.
I caught her staying over at one of her guy friend's places only to have her say that she isn't there, I'm making things up again. She is long gone now, but heck...
Girls, don't make a mess like this. Seriously.
Discostoo
11. When Missing an Engagement Party Leads to Chaos
My ex fiance had no ability of forgiveness, and if she asked you for advice and you didn't tell her exactly what she wanted to hear she would play the victim and act like you didn't respect her enough to give her the advice she wanted to hear.
She wanted to cut my mom out of our lives because my cousin(who was going to be a bridesmaid) missed our engagement party(but she gave us a month's notice that she would miss it).
My ex went to my mom to ask her what to say to my cousin about missing the party and to make sure she realized the importance of being a bridesmaid and my mom said "don't say anything, she gave you enough notice that she wouldn't be there and she will be there in the future, don't make a mountain out of a molehill".
She started saying my mom was a narcissist who didn't really care about anyone else and that she never wanted to go to any gatherings at my mom's or that my mom would be at ever again. Just about one month after our engagement party we were officially split up. I miss her from time to time but ultimately feel like I dodged a bullet.
Arandoperson7
12. Babysitting or Dating?
My last relationship was a mess:we met in a psych clinic and she kept looking at cosplay pics all the time when we were hanging out. Her cosplay pics are no joke. She was extremely jealous (even got jealous when I got a new cat and I was petting it while we were sitting on the couch together), and would get super emotional about very tiny things.
She had been taken care of by her family all her life, 0 interest in getting a job/career or even a driver's license. Everybody was always doing everything for her, with no responsibilities and she still managed to talk about how stressed she was all the time
She is Insanely obsessed with Manga/Anime. I mean I like those too but holy mess she was like a cringy 12 yo Otaku/Neckbeard.
And even worse was that she was super obsessed with Yaoi (pretty graphic Manga/Anime about homoerotic relationships between men) and quite vocal about it too. Hell she even brought somebody a place because she couldn't sleep without it
Completely incapable of having a serious discussion about anything, never able to reflect on her behavior would always get offended or angry and not even see her own mistakes in the end, everyone always ended up apologizing to her because it was easier that way.
Hell, at one point we had a super stupid discussion… I wanted to take just 1 hour of the day to watch a new episode of Better Call Saul in peace, she was on her laptop but still hated me watching it on the TV because it "distracted her", when I said fine I would just watch on my PC with headphones on she claimed I was "just doing that to spite her". Anyway, it turned into a whole discussion about her habit of picking fights and then she.. ran away?
She was staying over at my place because quarantine had just started here, but she just began crying and ran out into the cold in the middle of the night. Yup, just ran out in pajamas without keys or a phone or anything to go sit on some bench and pout.
God, she was guilt-tripping, built guilt-tripping and I even ended up apologizing to her.. she only agreed to come back inside when I said I'd call her parents (because I had no idea what the heck I was supposed to do otherwise).
At this point I realized I was her freaking babysitter, she knew that I would come after her because she had no way of getting home.
Long story short: she was extremely childish, irrational, and self-centered
Mayokopp
13. Breaking the Cycle
Controlling, getting jealous when hanging out with friends, breaking your stuff, punching the wall (or door), hitting you, getting jealous of spending time with your pets, accusing you of cheating so your miscarriage isn't his problem. That was my first marriage.
Give you control of finances but thinks he can spend his paycheck on what he wants because it's his money, freaks out and blames you when something goes wrong, rather answer the phone while making love because it's his parents calling, wants to spend every weekend with his family, not supporting in any situation (from volunteering to getting a bachelor's degree).
Asked what we were going to do when discovering I was pregnant (by we he meant me) Second marriage.
Not being a partner, not helping around the house, not taking care of pets, caring more for his family, not supporting mental health, his staying up and playing video games was more important than a bachelor's degree or master's. Boyfriend of 6 years.
Typing this out makes it clear I have a terrible habit of picking people who are not partners and/or are abusive.
Auferstishen78
14. Finals, Festivities, and Forgotten Feelings
Everything was due to a Lack of communication. My first girlfriend was away at college (about an hour's drive from the town we grew up/lived in) when we dated and I seldom saw her.
She was super busy with a double major and Air Force ROTC so I tried not to overthink things when she would go days without answering a text or acknowledging me, which was difficult because I had had a massive crush on her since I was 12.
This made her visits back home very special so I always looked forward to weekends when she’d be home (which weren’t often).
During her finals week, she warned me ahead of time that she wouldn’t have time to communicate with me at all during the whole week because she was so swamped with finals. Understandable, thanks for the heads up.
But on that Tuesday night, I saw on her sister’s Snapchat story that she had come all the way home to go see her sister’s high school play and she didn’t tell me she would be home.
I knew then that I was freaked but I so desperately wanted things to work that I didn’t say anything and just hoped things would be better after Christmas break.
She dumped me on New Year that year and I never really heard from her again (we had been good friends since I was 7).
I learned from that whole experience that communication issues like that are massive red flags and that it isn’t worth it to tolerate that mess but I still haven’t gotten over that feeling of complete rejection when she didn’t even think of telling me she would be around that night
Get-broasted45
15. Escaping the Cycle of Predictable Confrontations
I accurately forecasted that she was going to pick a fight with me a week in advance. Not what it would be about, or why, just that it would happen. Enough that I marked my calendar.
Sure enough, I watched her get sullen and withdrawn for a couple of days, then put up a false happy face for a few days that got increasingly more fragile, and then she started probing for things that would get a rise out of me to pick a fight.
It was like my eyes were finally open and I could see the Matrix, the pattern became clear, and all of a sudden I understood it wasn't about whatever we were fighting about, it wasn't about me, it was just that she needed a fight, any fight.
When she refused couples therapy and refused individual therapy, I bounced.
Flumpet38
16. Roadside Revelation
While driving her back to her place one day, on the way she suddenly said “We should take a break” and gave me no reasons despite my asking/begging for an explanation at least. She was pretty adamant.
Finally, I saw this going nowhere and said “Let’s take days to think about things”, and then she suddenly yelled at me: “If this is If you feel we might as well just break up”.
This was the red flag moment. I also heard something snap in my head the moment she yelled, so I pulled over on the side of the road (we were already pretty close to her place), and told her: “Alright, it’s over. Get out”.
Her facial expression was in disbelief and tried to explain that it was all just a test to see how strong my love for her was. When she finally exited and stood in front of my car, betting that I wouldn’t just run her over,
I put my gear in reverse, slammed the gas, made the fastest 180 turn I’ve ever done in my life, and drove off. She called numerous times after I kicked her out of my car (she even got her mom to try convincing me to take her back),
I pulled my home phone line off for a few days and also changed my cell phone number. I even saw her car roaming around my house, but I never met her face-to-face again, since I was out most of the time. Luckily, she stopped after about a month
Onehitko1127
17. The Struggles of Imbalanced Responsibilities
There were so many complaints, first telling me to grow the heck up when I had a bad day at work and was having a panic attack. Saying that I “ruined the week” when I had depressive episodes (I have bipolar)
Kept calling me 36 times after I hung up on him for screaming at me for being 30 minutes late getting off work. He made me clean out disgusting rooms after working 50-60 hours a day while he didn’t work at all.
Telling me our cat was going to die of FelV because I didn’t get her vaccinated (I did. She was feral). Constantly making me feel bad for my body and my bodily functions and screaming at me if I didn’t smell like freaking flowers.
Kept me away from my dad because my dad was apparently “a controlling freaking prick who hates everyone but himself”. Projecting much??? And when I tried to leave he told me I was too sick and manic and out of my mind crazy to be making any sort of decisions
spunandtwisted
18. How a Music Festival Became a Relationship Test
He asked me to put money into crypto to buy drugs for them from strangers on telegram...
It was at a music festival- so not a total surprise to want drugs. The route they asked me to go for, however, was eyebrow-raising.
I was stuck with them for the duration (joint hotel room) so I decided to try to placate them somewhat and got them an edible instead. The pot caused them to have a meltdown at the festival though, and I got to play babysitter for the person I knew I was going to break up with as soon as I could get away... good times.
sunshine-unit
19. Beauty and the Bad Decisions
She had a kid that she left with her mom for the entire month we were hanging out.
Her ex was sneaking into her apartment.
She encouraged me to get drunk, offered to drive, and could never find the condoms I just bought to replace the other ones she couldn’t find.
I was 23 and a mess myself, but it was like the grossest honeypot ever.
letsjerkcircular
20. Dumped and Unfazed
I told him I was struggling with my mental health. He shouted at me because me having mental health woes made him feel a mess about himself. Essentially, how dare I make him feel bad about my problems?
He would also use this as a weapon, once I woke up to him trying to sleep with me because, and I quote, “I wanted you to wake up remembering that you’re my boyfriend.” Jesus freaking Christ.
I dumped him on his birthday. It was around the time the Ariana Grande concert bombing happened and I knew someone who died. He said he didn’t care if my friend got blown up to bits and that I was a sociopath for dumping him on his birthday. Again, Jesus freaking Christ
notimeforhaste
21. Periods, Partners, and Peculiar Perceptions
I have PCOS and will skip a period for months or have two in the same month, boyfriend knew this. They’re all over the place. Sometimes after Intimacy, I would start my period the next day, it was just a coincidence though, and didn’t happen every time.
Well, one month I started my period and I told my boyfriend “I’m going to the store to buy tampons.”
He gets really angry and goes “So who did You sleep with last night?”
Wait what? I told him “No one…why? No
“Well, you only started your period after we had slept together. So I’ll ask again, who did you cheat on me with?”
I_am_dean
22. When Presents Mask a Troubling Pact
This is not my relationship but my brother in laws, he's been dating this girl for about 6 months. My husband was seeing a lot of red flags. First one was from the moment they got together, she was pretty much a stalker. He still lives with his parents and while he was at work she would sit at his parents house all day waiting for him.
She made it obvious she was trying to move in within the first few months. Her parents sold their house and moved into a hotel while awaiting their new house to be ready. She knew this was going to happen a year before it happened,she then used it as an excuse to move into my in-laws house.
During that First few months she would buy a lot of expensive gifts for my brother in law, of which she still does. She buys my in-laws stuff too. She was given 25k by a family member who died.
My Brother in law said she was going to buy him a car, when everyone told him it's a bad idea he agreed not to accept a new car. A week later he had a new car claiming he bought it. He acted agitated and disinterested in her yet she still hangs around throwing money at him.
She even spent Christmas with him instead of her own family. She was supposed to move out of my in-laws house a month ago but has not even attempted to get her own place. Even with the 25k she's not even tried, I found this suspicious. I knew my Brother in law was using her for money, I'm not sure what she was gaining from all this though.
TLDR
Brother in-law's new girlfriend has bought her way into my in-laws house and doesn't show any signs of moving out. BIL is using her for money and she knows it.
Cazz84
23. Breaking the Chains of Possessiveness
When I was given one ultimatum too many.with. He was jealous and possessive. Didn't like me spending time with other friends unless he was also there. Even just female friends, because "other guys could hit on me".
It wasn't too bad when we lived in the same town. But then I finished community college and was going to a 4-year college to finish my degree. It was about 45 minutes away from him.
I joined a sorority and was loving college life. But now that we only had time to see each other on the weekends, his jealousy ramped up.
If he (G) didn't want me to do something, he would threaten to break up with me. Because that showed I "didn't care about him enough" if I did something that I knew upset him. I knew it wasn't fair and I wasn't doing anything wrong, but the thought of us breaking up left me feeling panicked, so I always agreed. But usually after a big, crying fight.
Fast forward to the next year's Fall semester. Rush was ending and my sorority was celebrating with a slumber party. Nothing public or coed. Just the women in my sorority. It was a mandatory event but, more importantly, I was looking forward to it!
I told G the date and that I wouldn't be available that Saturday night. He told me that he didn't want me to go. I was shocked! Why? It was just girls. We weren't going out on the town at all. We were only going to be at someone's house.
But he started up again with his "but if you love me..." break-up ultimatum. I am crying and pleading with him to change his mind. I told him it was a mandatory event.
I am not proud of this, but I finally told him I would talk to the Rush VP and see if she would be understanding. He told me to call her and then call him back with what she said.
I felt humiliated telling her that my boyfriend was too upset about this party. It was causing a big problem between us and was it okay if I didn't go? She said she understood and of course, that was fine.
I called him back and glumly told him I wouldn't go. He said, "Thanks for doing that. You can go to the party if you want to.". What?!?! He proceeded to tell me he had just wanted to know that I would give the party up for him.
I felt any love I had for him disappear at that moment. I didn't break it off yet, because I didn't want to be rash. But the next time he gave me an ultimatum...a female friend asked me to hang out with her because she was having a rough time...instead of feeling panic, I was surprised to find that I only felt relief.
I calmly told him that breaking up was probably for the best, though I was sorry he felt that way. And then he started to backtrack. But it was too late. My blinders were finally off and I felt free and strong again
Nolejen1120
24. Exit, Pursued by a Cat
I dated a woman who had a cat. The cat hated me and would piss on my shoes, gym bag, or whatever he thought was mine. I had enough of this and told the idiot I was dating that I wouldn’t be coming to her house again. I told her we could hang out at my place instead
This was not good enough for her. She came to my house and made me agree to reconsider coming back to her place. She just wouldn’t take no for an answer. I told her I would come back but if the cat pissed on my stuff again I was never coming back. I also told her this so she would shut up.
After she got me to agree to come back she told me the cat had pissed on a jacket I had left at her place.
I was speechless. I asked her if she would step outside. I shut the door behind her and never went back again.
On a separate note, this mental case had to be removed by the police from my place soon after this.
mrschwing
25. Quarantine Quandaries
It was when he started drinking a lot, the mood swings even when he was sober were horrible. We got stuck together during the 2020 lockdown and things reached a peak. I wasn't allowed to watch tv (streaming) because I was "hogging the bandwidth" and he wanted to play online games.
I was questioned endlessly about talking to friends I made in a mental health support group and would routinely hear things like "Why do you Want to talk to them so much? Don't you ever put your phone down? You don't even really know them. I bet they're catfishing you" etc.
One of the biggest and worst was when I started to figure out who I was. I started researching witchcraft and paganism a lot more in 2019 and he would make witch-burning jokes about me in front of his very catholic mother. And when I came out as pan in 2020 he took one of my mother's brand new metal lawn chairs and threw it down the yard and broke a fire pit.
Oh did I mention my mother let him move back home with me rent-free during the pandemic? Yea. Needless to say, he's gone
lil-crypid
26. From Bliss to Bruises
It’s been 20 years but I remember it well. Love bombing like crazy. Convincing me it was important to spend every single day together. Rushing me to move out with him. I was so in love, so naive.
Then it changed on a dime. One night I was in bed playing snake on my phone. He snatched it off me and smashed it against the wall. Then he stood over me and started punching me and telling me I was cheating on him.
It was downhill from there. I should have left but allowed him to gaslight me for ages. He would go out drinking with his mates, come home off his face, and wake me up accusing me of cheating on him.
He was cheating often. He was a messy person. Unfortunately, I went straight from a relationship with him to an even more abusive narcissistic asshole who was nine years older than me. He saw an already wounded 21-year-old who was an easy target for his mess. Took me 6 years to get away from that traumatic relationship.
I feel for that poor young girl. I knew nothing about life when I met the first guy at 19. By the time I was 27, I knew too much.
Abstarini
27. When a Relationship Becomes a One-Sided Lecture
I had one girlfriend who tried to "teach" me how the world worked. Explained to me how everything works and was emotionally hurt if I rejected her "lessons' ' because ... Why did she think that I don't know how an ATM works if I had to use such for many years before I even knew her? Or she wanted to teach me how to cook the most basic things ... So yeah, I can cook you an original Italian carbonara, I know how I can make pasta ...
And ... I'm glad that she lost the child, don't want to care for a kid that was made without my consent by an abusive person
shadowlemon313
28. When Education Turns into Elitism
Everyone who chooses not to go to college is a stupid, ignorant human when he however was superior for attending a 4-year college and getting a degree for a job he didn't even have an interest in going into.
He wanted the degree so he could gloat especially to my family whom he regarded as hillbilly scum.
Also, the same guy told me once he didn't realize that fat people knew they were fat and needed to be told so he bestowed that responsibility on himself and became a fat-shaming bully.
The last red flag that finally ended was his breaking up with me and the reason he gave for it. He was horny and I lived too far away (2 hours, he was in 4 years), it's not cheating if he breaks up with me first and then comes back to me after to start the relationship again.
Realized very quickly how toxic he was, how blind and lonely I had been.
Listening for nearly a year he gloated about the women he had slept with, and his favorite story was of him titty having slept with one girl he called his FWB who was also significantly younger than him.
Writing this just made me think: wow. I can't believe I was with a man like that and never again will I allow myself to fall so low due to my loneliness. Proud of myself or getting away.
Abberant Adulting
29. From Threats to Guilt Trips
Long Distance Relationship (I'm in the US while she's in Asia).
Honestly should have left way earlier: Suicide threats, bringing up old, settled topics during arguments, inability to admit that she was wrong, and giving me the responsibility of being her happiness (did not have time for myself for she got mad).
Those things subsided during the later part of our relationship and subsided even more during the pandemic. Was it because of maturity? Maybe. But it was also definitely because she felt guilty for entertaining a guy that liked her.
The real kicker that reassured me was that she tried playing for sympathy and the whole "you wouldn't understand" argument after I found out she still hid stuff from me after she confessed to entertaining the dude.
And then tried to get me to get on good terms with the dude after knowingly making moves on someone in a relationship.
I'm still hesitant to get back into dating because I'm scared the time I have for myself now (which I use for improvement, and video games hehe) will disappear again. I know it'll heal in time, I just needed to rant about this.
Cripzyfriedsquid
30. Love, Lies, and Locks
My girlfriend was always obsessed with me and would suspect anyone I talked with. She wanted to marry me and have kids. Sold herself as a conservative, etc.
She said she was super neutral in bed, had no kinks, and so on. We took time on several occasions. I managed to access her social media, her passwords were the same as her credit card. Finding out conservative was a mask she wore for me. She would go out with other men and, as the conversations showed, she was a big whore with others.
For me, she played the saint one even in bed.
fernandoteruo
31. Lies, Texts, and Hallway Regrets
I ran into his "close friend" in the hall at school (college) and I asked how her summer was. She said good, and that she was sorry to hear about the breakup.
I told her the breakup was news to me (as far as I knew we'd been dating steadily all summer with no major problems) and she very quickly excused herself and booked it. That was a bit strange.
I ended up dumping him because he was sleeping with girls from Canada (...Again) and lying about where he was, which was shady. But I always think about how weird that hallway conversation was. Years later I reconnected with a college friend from that same time and we hit it off, unlike back then, and we're engaged now, so it was for the best!
itscurse
32. When 'Me Time' Signals a Deeper Disconnect
Not me, but a friend of mine a few months ago. Out of absolutely nowhere, his girlfriend said she wanted weekends to herself. She said she has so much time during the week for him and work, but since she's still in her early 20s, she wants weekends with her girlfriends. This caught him off guard.
He says she can do whatever she wants, but all he asks is that she call him once a day while she's gone. Even if it's just before bed, he wants to know she's okay. This lasted for a month.
One weekend, she didn't call on Saturday. He thought he should call since maybe she forgot or something. A man answers her phone. He asked who the guy was, and it was her ex-boyfriend. They were cheating. Of course, my friend was destroyed.
I told him letting her have those weekends might be a red flag, and if she feels she needs a break from you two days a week, then they shouldn't be together. A partner who loves you wouldn't need time away from you that much. He was also suspicious when he caught her friends out to lunch and she wasn't with them.
I hate to say I told you so.
Realpokesatsu
33 Stalking, Lies, and Phone Calls Galore
My girlfriend pretended to be pregnant. She also pretended that I abused her and I was also giving my friends in her classes (she was a TA) good grades for getting me to talk to her
She was physically dragged out of our parties by security multiple times. Always following me to and from classes every day, just feet behind me.
Sitting outside my apartment in her car every day, calling and texting me hundreds of times per day. She was a compulsive liar and It's been nearly 10 years...
Red penguin 00
34. Needy, Depressed, and Deceived
I came home one day and all my toiletries and things that show a girl was living there were hidden in the closet. He told me he had friends over and didn't want them to know we lived together because he told them he rented the flat by himself and didn't want them to know he was lying.
We were together for a few months after that because to
I was a needy, massively depressed teenager and didn't see any red flags back then.
Looking back I realize now there was loads of gaslighting and mental and emotional abuse in that relationship. Blocked him on everything and I would fight him if I met him on the street for putting me through that mess.
spaciouswok
35. The Aftermath of a Divorce Deception
My girlfriend's husband, who I didn't even know had shown up to my job, pissed me as hell.
I knew she had been married before, but was not aware that she was still married. She played it off so well, and the sick part is, that her mother was even in on it by lying that her daughter wasn't married.
I never understood why her brother didn't like me, despite really knowing each other(he kept his mouth shut because he was threatened to not say anything, or end up homeless), but it made sense after finding out she was married.
Never felt like such a POS in my whole life. But karma is real because he divorced her, she ended up with just the clothes on her back, and her bank account, and hasn't been able to maintain an actual relationship since every guy keeps walking away before things go anywhere. Seems like her husband even took her sanity in the divorce.
slater vj
36. Turning the Page
I told him I had a drinking problem and he kept inviting me to the bars. I’d say we should not drink tonight and he’d show up with a six-pack; and lastly, when I tried to break up with him before work he told me I should just go home.
I ended up making a friend who I went to the bar with to get a beer with and mentioned I had a drinking problem, his response was why are we at a bar then? Let’s go play video games at my house.
I broke up with the douchebag the following week, he was a “key” at the restaurant I worked for. He sent me home within an hour of getting to work for a few days until one of the actual managers realized what he was doing.
He was fired for sexual harassment and that friend I mentioned? I ended up dating him, it’s been 7 years and we’re engaged now.
Tyl3rt
37. Canceled Nuptials and Facebook Confessions
I didn't leave the relationship, unfortunately. I got Bailed out of it (sorry for the Brooklyn 99 reference). He believed so much in his parents and they hated me. They even made it so they drove him to an old folks' home/hospice to show that that's where they would end up if he married me.
He called me up, crying, saying he couldn't do that to his parents. We've booked the church, there were people already working for the wedding.
I was still hopeful. I'm not a bad person. I'm just intense and I'm a little too ambitious for my good. But I grew up not having a lot and I wanted to make a name for myself in my career. I would never put his folks (or my folks, for that matter) in any other home for my convenience. I'm the opposite of what they said I would be.
Then on the day of our supposed wedding, canceled, he announced on Facebook that he was already seeing someone else.
Yup. So many red flags that I was too stupid and naive to see. I lent this guy money for a mortgage, his parents called me a gold digger. I ignored job opportunities to go to China and Hungary for expansion plans because that meant not being able to see him.
I became a side piece to this guy after being engaged to him for years because he valued what his parents would say.
I felt like he never defended me, nor told his parents what our relationship was about. It was him basically following their commands. I don't blame the parents. I sort of think I escaped a tight situation there.
Years later, we reconnected as friends. But man, that was a lot of red flags I was not smart enough to have seen, blinded by so much love for this guy.
unintellectual 8
38. Navigating the Space Between Texts and Togetherness
I realized she didn’t enjoy spending quality time with me as well as treating me in a way she didn’t want to be treated. One example is on my birthday we made plans to go ghost hunting (she believes in that stuff but I don’t).
For me, I thought it would be a good time to talk and bond, with the ghost-hunting stuff being sort of like leaving the TV on in the background.
I just wanted to spend my birthday with her. Before we go to the ghost-hunting thing she asks if she can invite a friend I’ve never met. I said sure because that’s what she wanted. Then she spends the entire evening/night talking to her friend.
I was essentially a third wheel. On the drive home, I even tried changing the conversation to something I could be included in (their conversation was all inside jokes and talking about the RPG she and her friends play), but after about a minute they switched back to what they were talking about before.
That was the start of me realizing that while she liked texting me and talking to me digitally, she didn’t like being around me. Maybe I’m the red flag because I feel like there would have to be a reason to not want to be around your boyfriend, but it doesn’t feel like I am.
Even if I was a red flag, still, inviting strangers and ignoring you all evening is a pretty mess to do to someone on their birthday.
jaypg
39. When IG Conversations Take an Unexpected Turn
My boss started following me on IG and replied to my stories. We got to talk a bit and as I always thought he was quite handsome, I was a bit nervous, but I felt flattered. We talked a lot and what started as normal convos to get to know each other, ended up with afFsIrs from time to time.
One day he took a selfie in his bathroom where I saw a bath and I said “Oh my god I’m coming over right away to take a bath with you” and he said, “I’d love that but I don’t think my GF would appreciate it”. I was shocked for a split second, it never occurred to me he was still in a relationship because of the way we texted.
There was a girl in some older pictures on Instagram but I just figured it was his ex. I felt like a complete idiot. And the worst part is; I couldn’t stop anymore. I was already too involved and as much as today I feel like I should have stopped there, I didn’t.
We kept going for 6 months, he broke up with her and we ended up together for more than a year. But I should’ve known from the start that cheating on his girlfriend with me was a huge red flag. I soon figured he loved female attention in general, I saw the messages he sent, the way he talked to colleagues, etc.
It was incredibly stupid of me to think he’d be different from me. I was the bad guy here, I know I was, and I still feel horrible to this day that I kept the relationship going even when I knew he was already with someone else.
Comeherekittycat
40. Pizza and Priorities
My ex couldn't accept that anything, ever, might be his fault or responsibility. Toward the end of our relationship, I was going to college full-time and working part-time when he got fired.
He *forbade* me from getting a second job while he looked for work, and I realized then that he was trying to keep me poor and dependent on him. I saw my life as a never-ending cycle of cleaning up after him and poverty.
Shortly before I was able to get the funds up to leave him, I realized we were going to be about $15 short on rent that was due the next day. I told him I was going to sell a ring of mine at the pawnshop, deposit the cash, and then head into an evening shift at the restaurant I worked in.
I got, like, $25 for the ring and texted him that we were going to make rent now. When I came home, he'd had a large pizza delivered. I can't articulate how angry I was.
loudlittle
41. When Small Talk Becomes a Game of Riddles
Had a great connection with an amazing woman... But I never knew what she did, for work and she would lie about the weirdest stuff. By weird, I mean voluntary and unnecessary.
I asked her how her day was.... in the longest way she told me she was going to take her dog to the vet early the next day and was making accommodations, (the vet opened at noon and was ~ about 15 minutes away...) The vet is my friend and vented to me about how my friend showed up right as they closed. She didn't have to tell me anything about it. I was out of town, I had zero to do with it. She told me that instead of what she did that day...
It drove me insane. We had great conversations, but I had no idea what she did.
loves_stripper
42. High School Dramas
My girlfriend at that time and I went to different high schools and she couldn't drive. Every year my school has an Art Showcase so I invited her to come since my friends and I always participate. See a school play, look at some art.
When she got dropped off I introduced her to my friends and Best Friend. After that day I would hear from others how she would bike over an hour just to hang out with my best friend when getting invited to see a movie.
She never had the drive to actively see anyone without having readable transportation.
I confronted her about this and how it was strange and couldn't get a clear answer. I broke up with her a week or so later because I found out again they would start hanging out in secret.
Should have gone with my gut the first time.
They have had a couple of kids since then but their relationship is trash. It never worked out between them.
Aggro-cat
43. Max vs. the Ex
She kicked my dog out.
About a year and a half into our relationship we decided it would be a good idea to move in together. We got along great, any fights were pretty tame and pretty quickly resolved and I couldn't be happier.
There was one thing though that kind of went unspoken or only discussed tangentially. I feel looking back it was kind of my fault for not tackling head-on at the beginning of the relationship. She had a deep love for animals....except dogs. Which turned out she hated with a fiery passion.
I own a German Shepherd named Max. Now Max is my best friend (at times my only friend). Max got me through some incredibly dark times in my life and in my point of view, Max is practically people.
Now why my ex-girlfriend decided to overlook this a little bit because she so obviously couldn't stand to live with me which was beyond me. It wasn't a surprise. I talked about him a lot and even brought him along on outdoor dates.
Now she didn't talk to him very well (she wasn't mean or anything, just not very friendly) and I understand some people have problems with bigger dogs. Whenever I would come close to bringing it up she would just shrug and say "No, it's fine".
So now we've been living together for 6 months and I need to go to the city for the weekend on a course. I figured, no problem.
The two of them seem to keep each other alone and all she needs to do is make sure his food and water are topped off and let him out a couple of times a day. She seemed a little put out when I asked her but ultimately agreed to do it.
Fast forward to Sunday evening when I got home. She's sitting on the couch on her laptop. Max was not where he normally was, which is his big dog bed next to my lazy boy. I didn't think about it and asked how her weekend was and we talked for about 10 minutes.
Now, Max and I are rarely separated by overnight events, and being gone for 2 nights I would have thought he would immediately come to see me as soon as he heard my voice. Nothing.
So I get up and go to the backdoor thinking she had probably let him out after his supper.... and no Max.
This isn't a huge house and Max runs on a routine so the chances of him not being in the living room or kitchen are very slim. So I asked her. "Honey, where's Max?"
"No idea."
"What do you mean, 'no idea'?" I was floored by this point.
Apparently, to her admission, the day before, she let him out, opened the gate to the yard, and went back inside believing "whatever happens, happens."
Now I've rambled on long enough so to make an even longer story short, it took 5 of my neighbors, some friends, and 2 days to find Max which was a miracle considering we live out in a rural area.
Suffice it to say when Max got home she no longer lived there.
It is the most bizarre thing that's ever happened to me.
Mac the fire
44. From Big Dreams to Big Disasters
He got blackout drunk when I introduced him to my family and was climbing people's houses on the way home.
He also climbed into my neighbor's house and sat on the roof one night to show off.
He told me he'd been to prison 3 times for robbery and assault, but didn't include all the details (like that one sentence included something with an ex gf where he'd freaking set himself on fire outside her house or some mess ).
Turned up at my house in the middle of the night because he'd gotten drunk at work and flipped one of the lorries, then punched his coworker who refused to help him try and flip a 7-tonne lorry back over.
He would get blackout drunk and call me names and then in the morning refuse to accept he'd behaved that way.
Addicted to movies.
Eventually, when I needed him to support me, he told me I was selfish and manipulative which just showed me he wasn't in it for the love, he was in it for the work I was doing to keep him afloat.
Been single ever since. Someone tell me there's a partner out there that will be that to me?
Unhornella
45. The Red Flags That Painted My Relationship
When he would constantly accuse me of cheating or flirting. Lying, his favorite saying was, "I don't lie"...even after catching him multiple times.
He would claim that he can pay someone to sleep with his baby mama" or pay someone to kill his sister in law. Didn't take the threat seriously because he couldn't even afford to keep up his small child support payments.
Constantly bringing up what all his past girlfriends did wrong. All the breakups were always the woman's fault.
He saw women as a threat because of Mama's issues and past trauma.
Wanted his "family back", because his ex-wife left him and took the stepkids (they have no kids together). That was about 15 years ago. Still blames her for everything.
mystery 83