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Florida Man Rep. Anthony Sabatini Loves Kyle Rittenhouse, Hates Strawberry Shortcake

Florida Man Rep. Anthony Sabatini Loves Kyle Rittenhouse, Hates Strawberry Shortcake

It’s uncertain just how much more Florida the rest of the country can take, because Florida.

As the Sunshine State blazes red hot with record cases of COVID19 and a Governor who’s both emotionally and physically M.I.A., it still manages to produce some of the shadiest characters to dip a toe into politics. You’re already well-acquainted with Donald Trump, who’s a full-on Florida Man despite being from New York, and Matt “Captain Venmo” Gaetz, who’s applying to be the new Donald Trump Jr. But have you had the special pleasure of learning about state Rep. Anthony Sabatini, who makes the rest of Florida look good by being extra awful? Strap in, dear reader, because this ride makes crazy turns that make absolutely no sense.

Having already earned the dubious moniker of being “the worst person in the Florida Legislature” (meditate on that for just a second, so you can really allow yourself the time to wonder what you’d have to do to be considered the worst person in a Florida anything), Sabatini is a voraciously vocal Trumper to his core, and he won’t listen to your pesky facts about things like science and laws. Sabatini is so terrible, we have several examples to present here.

Sabatini hates strawberry shortcake and has made it a thing to not allow it to become Florida’s official state dessert, I guess because it’s not made out of cocaine and alligators, Florida’s main import/export business. He also remains a favorite of Florida conservatives while also calling himself an “outcast,” even though he’s close friends with Matt Gaetz both on and off of Twitter.

But wait, there’s more terrible! After the news broke that Kyle Rittenhouse would walk on the charges related to his killing of two men, the “Donald Trump remora” (chef’s kiss, Orlando Sentinel!) pushed for a federal holiday named for the teenager, because that makes way more sense than having, say, Election Day be a federal holiday, amirite? I mean, his whole Twitter is just one big cringe.

Sabatini also reiterated his former claim that Rittenhouse — famous for killing a homeless man and another man who confronted him following the initial killing — should become a member of Congress.

Here’s hoping the Florida-ness of Gaetz and Trump spills over even more onto Sabatini and the Florida State Legislature is as far as his career path ever takes him.



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