“Farewell in a Flash!”: Tales Of Unforeseen Job Goodbyes

Everybody wants a cool and steady job with good pay. People work hard to keep getting those paychecks. But guess what? Some folks get tired of their bosses and only stick around for the money.

But here's the thing - not everyone can afford to lose their job. Imagine you're doing your absolute best at work, and out of nowhere, you get fired for a silly reason. What would you do?

1. Touch Of Crime

I worked at a technology store. I got fired 30 minutes after the store closed as soon as the "investigation" ended. Someone stole a laptop. They blamed me, not for stealing it, but for "aiding" the thief.

This was false. I gave the laptop to the cashier and told her it was for that guy. The guy slipped out of line and said, "I forgot one other thing."

He returned with a monitor box and placed it beside the laptop to hide it from the cashier's point of view. While she was cashing other people out, he swiped the laptop.

The thief then walked up to the greeter at the door and said, "This is my laptop. I was just getting it repaired." The greeter let him go, and he went on his merry way.

That store does not have barcode door detectors. The greeter also got fired at the end of the shift, and he was rehired five ~ months later because he had Down syndrome and was going to sue the store.

That was my first "infraction," I was there for two years as a Service Technician. Selling laptops wasn't even my job. I was doing the salesman a favor.

The same thing would have happened to anyone. But because I TOUCHED THE LAPTOP, I was automatically labeled as an aid in theft.

Unemployment insurance saw through my boss' crap reasoning and compensated me for nine months of same-wage pay. Win.

Akraz

Not me, but a friend was working downtown on the 45th floor. He was in IT. Out of the clear blue, on a Friday, they fire him for some made-up crap.

He cleaned out his cubicle of personal items and left, determined to go to his neighborhood pub and tie one on. They have a cafeteria on the 40th floor.

And having worked there for eight years, he had gotten to know the people, so he stopped in to say bye. He saw some other people taking an early lunch at the cafeteria that he knew from the 38th floor.

They saw his box of personal items and figured out he had been fired. A quick discussion and an impromptu job interview were set up.

He was hired on the spot to start Monday - he didn't even have to take his personal stuff home. The best was Monday morning when he got on the elevator with his old boss, who asked, "Where are you going?"

"To work," he replied. "Like hell you are," the old boss retorted, "I fired you Friday, don't you get that?" “Hey, I didn't say I was going to work for you, jerkward!" was my friend's response. Priceless.

dgillz

A buddy and I worked at a movie theater. He was working one day as a floor supervisor, which meant he was in charge of cleaning things up.

So this really old woman trips in the hallway and breaks her hip. It's a big ordeal, and the ambulance has to come. This woman starts claiming that she stepped on a raisin and that it was the theater's fault.

WHO TRIPS ON A CHOCOLATE-COVERED RAISIN? So the manager, who was new to the theater, got worried and decided to suspend my buddy to hopefully make the woman feel better.

My friend was really pissed off about the whole situation and was already getting sick of our new boss, so he decided to take a box of chocolate raisins and pour them all over the floor in the manager's office.

He then starts stomping around, yelling, "Do you see this?! Do you see how they smash when I step on them? It's impossible to trip on a freaking RAISIN!" Fired on the spot. Worth it.

MegaWolf

My worst job to date. I was working as a game tech for an arcade. My job was supposed to be simple things like fixing ticket jams and token counters.

Still, since I had a basic knowledge of computers and electronics, I was usually asked to do the more elaborate things that we normally left for my supervisor, who was responsible for actual repairs.

It was our busy season, and unfortunately, we were understaffed. I was asked to work a lock-in after having worked an open and close shift, but I needed the money, so I agreed.

Before the lock-in, I was charged with setting the games to free play for the people who paid to stay overnight. By 3 am, the owner of the arcade could see that I was physically and mentally exhausted.

He sent me home early, knowing I had the next few days off. I reminded him about the games on free play, and he assured me my supervisor would fix them in the morning.

Fast forward to 2 days later, I come in for my opening shift to find four games still set to free play. I asked the owner what other game techs worked while I was off (since I had trained several on how to change games to and from free play).

He informed me that only my supervisor worked while I was off. He asked why, and I showed him the games were still set to free play.

Irate, the owner then confronted my supervisor, reprimanding him for the obvious oversight. Jump forward 5 minutes to the owner going back to his business.

My supervisor called me to his office and told me that since I couldn't be a team player, he was going to fire me. He continues that I should have taken the blame since I was the one who changed them in the first place.

Fast forward a few months later, I found out that the owner immediately fired my supervisor for firing me and wanted to hire me back since I could do the supervisor's job anyway, but I had already found a better job.

ZombieChu

When I was 21, I worked at a hotel resort in Phoenix. I had to hustle drinks from the restaurant/bar on the top floor of the 10-story resort to the people at the pool (ground floor, obviously).

It was a pretty fun job, actually. I got a lot of exercise, the customers were pretty fun and having a good time, I spent most of my time outside, and I made really good tips.

I wasn't too fond of my boss, though. She seemed really immature, harping, vain, just kind of witchy. But whatever, people are people.

One day, I had to serve about eight women. They were kind of like sorority girls. They got wasted and were super mean to me, made fun of my uniform, made fun of me, and would purposely run me by massively staggering their orders, laughing hysterically every time.

And, of course, they stiffed me completely. ZERO tip. Bad day at the office for me. The next day, I went to work, and my boss FIRED me for stealing money from those chicks.

I didn't steal a thing! I was floored. They told her that I'd left with money and didn't come back with the change (like 15$). I'd never do that. Anyway, she wouldn't give me my last paycheck until I gave her the 'stolen' money. She was such a total jerk about it, too.

I went to the bank and got $15 in pennies. I came back into the office, grabbed my last paycheck out of her hand, and threw the pennies all over her office. I tried to run out, but she grabbed me by my hair. I got free but lost a chunk of hair in the process.

I'd like to say it felt great...but it didn't. I went home and cried about losing a job that I liked and the injustice of the world.

mauxly

I was working at a well-known store. I think it was my third day on the job. I'd just started cleaning the grill. Well, my boss’s son, with whom I went to high school, was in the store and had a few physical altercations.

He purposely bumped me, so my hand touched the back of the grill. I burn the fudge out of my hand and turn to punch him in the face.

It was after I hit him I realized two things: his father was standing 10 feet away, looking like he wanted to end me and fornicate with my corpse, and that I had third-degree burns.  

In the end, he made his decision. He fired his son, fired me for punching his kid, and then drove me to the emergency room. Gosh, my hand hurt so much!

samael813

I worked for a video game store in 2004. I made a whopping $6 an hour. Someone stole a $50 game during my shift. Bet you already know what’s about to happen.

The next day, the manager tried to make me and another coworker reimburse him for the full $50, even though the manager paid way less to stock it.

I told my boss, "Just because someone stole from you doesn't give you the right to steal from me." A few minutes later, my job was stolen from me.

[deleted]

I worked at a crappy job binding books for four hours a day, every day. It's not too bad, considering I could listen to my iPod and just go about it mechanically.

I worked with a guy who was way into weird conspiracy theories -- I listened to him and humored him because it was fun. Then we got a new guy.

When we hired him, I had been there for about four months. On his second day, while my other co-worker was away, he told me straight to my face that I didn't have the authority to tell him how to do anything.

Mind you -- I was showing him how to bind a book properly because he was messing it up royally, to the point where the book was falling apart. I wasn't mad at him. I was simply trying to correct him.

He came to me a few days later and complained that I wasn't stocking the soda in the refrigerator properly. Being the person I am -- who has three jobs as it is -- I stopped caring what he had to say. Until one particular day in which it was just me and him working.

I had had a pretty rough morning at my other job, and we were left that afternoon to bind a lot of books by ourselves, which meant that, as the senior employee, I would be supervising.

At the end of the day, right before we left -- I discovered that he had been binding the books completely wrong again, and they'd all been sealed in envelopes. If they had gone out that way, we'd have been royally screwed.

So I said, "We need to open each of these and fix them." To which he replied, "You don't have the authority. They're fine as they are."

I'm a relatively calm guy -- I get angry, sure, but never really explode. I exploded on this guy in a series of profanities, and by the end of it, he was cowered into his turtle shell and kept repeating, "Okay, I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry."

Unfortunately, the manager happened to overhear this, and I wasn't allowed to come in the next day. But honestly, it was completely worth it. The guy was a total tool.

[deleted]

Worked at a gas station on a corner of a busy street in Vancouver. Cars often drove through when turning right in order to get past the light.

One day, a car drove in and stopped for a minute, looking like it was waiting to merge back into the other street when traffic let up.

Apparently, it was waiting for me to wave it to the pump, and finally, it drove to the pump on its own (imagine that they didn't need a wave!), and my boss came over upset.

I was already pissed at him because he had just made a female coworker cry for a really small issue. He flipped out and yelled at me in front of the customer for not waving them in.

I explained calmly that I thought he was driving through, and he said, "I think you should learn to use your brain a little better." I said, "I think you should stop being a jerkward to your employees in front of customers." Fired on the spot.

[deleted]

Worked at a well-known store about six years back. We had a blind guy who lived in an apartment complex across the street; he'd walk over to get lunch almost every day.

I was outside car hopping when someone hit him and drove off - I dropped the food, ran inside, grabbed a cook, and sprinted to the middle of the street to help the guy out.

The boss yells after us that we're fired if we leave. Oh well, right? Anyway, we were rehired 30 minutes later when they got their crap together, and I got a $30 tip from some lady who saw the whole thing. The poor man died, though.

pft7804

My 1st IT job was 24 years ago. I had started full-time three months ago. My "manager" goes to lunch, and the boss comes in.

Tells me he wants to work every Saturday now (he was working every other). I tell him I can't. He says I better look for another job then.

I say are you firing me? he says yes. I say thank you, leave, and drive right to the unemployment office. Meanwhile, my manager comes back from lunch.  

Then he sees signs in the window: Help Wanted: Computer tech. He says to the owner; Where I was. Fast forward 20+ years, and I'm a senior-level security guy, still good friends with the former manager and owner.

[deleted]

They gave me my schedule a week ahead of time, and I wrote that crap down. No work on Thursday. So what would I do? Of course, I didn't go to work.

I show up for my shift Friday morning to see a new girl at the register. My boss is like why are you here? I tell him to work, of course. He then told me I missed my shift yesterday and he thought I wouldn't show up today.

I was like, what.. why didn't anyone call me? I had just started this job, and he told me I should know my schedule by now, and I was fired.

panire

When I was 17, I worked at a restaurant in the small town where I grew up. There was a guy there named Rodney, who was also 17 and a quasi-friend - we laughed and joked but never hung out outside of work.

One night, Rodney was working the drive-thru window while I worked the pizza board, cutting and boxing the pies. At one point, Rodney ran over to my station to tell me that a really hot woman was at the window.

I laugh and respond without thinking, 'I will give you $20 to tell her that you want to lick her.’ Rodney returned to the window and, 5 minutes later, was back at my station demanding his $20.  

I thought he was kidding until the woman's husband came INTO the restaurant 10 minutes later. Rodney told the manager that the only reason he did it was because I offered to pay him $20. Fired on the spot.

PintoTheBurninator

It didn’t happen to me but to a friend of mine. I'll try to do it justice. He wrote a script that got a lot of attention in Hollywood.

He got many calls to see if he would become a staff writer on a few different TV shows. So he goes in to see an offer and then sits down to interview.

The guy hits a button under the desk, and behind him, the door to the office automatically shuts and locks itself. Of course, for privacy.  

My friend looks back at the door, then at the exec, and says, "Are you going to make out with me?" The exec stares at him for a long second before saying "I don't think this is going to work out."

maddking

I was working at a telemarketing place. Horrible job. The company sold those paper rolls you put in debit machines at five times the normal price.

The pitch was essentially designed to trick the caller into thinking we were the usual supplier and just calling to confirm an order. It was selling by lying. Obviously, I decided it was unethical, and I refused to do it.

But I didn't tell them that, of course. Instead, I would go to work every day, put on my headset, and pretend to call people. Sometimes, if a supervisor was nearby, I would actually call people and go through the pitch.

On occasion, a caller would fall for it, and I would have to tell them not to buy anything from us. It was great fun. On the fourth or fifth day of work, the head office of this company was raided by the cops. We didn't have work that day.

We came back the next week, and our company had "a new owner" and a "new company name." It was back to business as usual. I think they were a bit distracted with hiding from the authorities, and it took them two weeks to notice that I hadn't done anything the whole time I was there.

Finally, the "new owner" called me into his office and told me that I hadn't sold anything and that I had to change my attitude or would be fired. I apologized and said I would try harder.

The next day, I did what I normally did: pretended to call people and drew epic pictures on the back of the calling lists. The boss called me into his office again. He was furious.

So angry that I would DARE to lie to him about trying harder. I have to admit I was a little confused. Did he not realize what kind of company he was running?

Anyway, I just smiled at him and walked out. I had successfully acquired enough money to get home for Christmas, so I was quite pleased with myself.

sukitrebek

I was working in an architect's office, times were tough, and I had to have three interviews for the job (but that's another story). I eventually got hired.

A few weeks into the job, my boss called me over and told me I had to be more punctual as I was supposed to be at my drawing board at 9 am on the dot.

He told me I was always between 5 and 10 minutes late. I was confused by this as I pride myself on being on time. I then discovered that my boss and the office manager both set their watches 10 minutes fast for some reason.

That evening, I called the speaking clock from my appt and verified that my watch was set to the correct time. The next morning, I arrived ten minutes before 9 am.

At 8:58 am, I asked my boss and the office manager what time it was. They both said it was 9:10 am. I dial the speaking clock and put it on speakerphone as loud as possible.

"At the signal, it will be 9 am. Beeeep" was heard by everyone in the office. All the other office staff try to hide their grins behind their hands. I hung up and continued working.

Boss and office manager go into the conference room, and 5 minutes later, I'm called in. "We don't appreciate your attitude. It's best to leave the office now and not return." I packed up my stuff and walked out into the bright morning sunshine with a smile on my face.

[deleted]

Working as a milk-delivery boy. My job was to sit in the back of the truck, grab the milk as I was told, and run between houses until my hands were empty.

Specific orders for specific houses. We communicated via radio headsets - the guy in the truck was the one with the list of what milk goes to which houses, so we relied on him.

On the third night of training, my headset started malfunctioning. Could only just hear the boss in fits and starts. At one point, I jumped out of the truck with three bottles of milk and only caught the first address to deliver to.

Thus, couldn't deliver. Run back to the truck and say, "This headset is broken. I can't deliver!" He says, out the window, "This job isn't right for you. We don't need you anymore." I put the milk back in the truck and walked the 8km home.

ruzkin

A year ago, I worked as a tour guide at a well-known place (the world's most famous arena!) My entire department was called in for an emergency meeting, where they told us that we would be out of a job in two days.

Apparently, someone high up in the company decided that with all the renovations going on, having tours was unacceptable.

We asked if we were going to get any kind of severance or anything for being laid off with two days' notice. The HR VP in the room said, "If you were, we would have told you about it already."

Two days later, on my last day, I told my boss that I felt the company was one of the worst companies I've ever worked for, then called my boss's boss and told her the same thing.

I then got in contact with a friend of a friend at a major media corporation in NYC and told them what happened. Oops! Haha.

About a week later, I got a call from my bosses boss (the one whom I talked to on the phone) telling me, "So, because we didn't give you any notice, we're going to give you two weeks of pay."

I figured they thought it would be cheaper to just pay us all two weeks' salary (which wasn't much anyway) than deal with the bad publicity.

montrealchris

This is embarrassing, but I didn't know how to tell time on an analog clock until the 7th grade. In the 3rd grade, I was a 'library helper,' meaning I was supposed to leave class at a certain time once or twice a week and help return, sort, and shelve books.

My very first 'shift' rolled around, and I watched the clock all day, trying to remember which hand was which. Eventually, even though I had no idea what time it was, it just felt right, and I left class.

The librarian told me I was two hours late and advised me never to return. On a related note, I was also fired from the 'lunch helpers' team in the 6th grade. Overall, it was not a good start to my professional career.

[deleted]

I used to work at a sandwich store. Once, there was a district meeting at my store, and all of the local stores' employees and managers were in attendance.

Well, after some random informational crap, the REGIONAL manager began to describe some of the new menu items we would have.

He talked about a few of them before he began a spiel on our new freshly made salads. These were different than normal salads, which were premade and available in a fridge in front of the counter.

After explaining the difference, he then says: 'And cashiers (me), please make sure to ask the customer, when they order our new fresh salads if they would like their salads tossed today.'

I LOST it. I had a laughing fit that almost asphyxiated me. I would laugh, then try to stop myself just to burst out laughing seconds later. After a solid 5 minutes of interruptions, I was asked to leave. They got shut down about a month later anyway :)

[deleted]

We were closing down the bar after a big Saturday night, and my boss asked someone else and me (unpaid) to stay for another hour to mop the floor because the cleaners wouldn't be in the next day.

  After my boss had exited the room, I turned to my colleague and said, "Screw that. I'm gonna throw a bucket of soap water over it, make a sandwich, and then have a nap on the sofa. The stupid smackhead wouldn't know a clean floor if he was snorting H off it."  

I turn around laughing and see my boss standing behind me, about to hand me the keys to lock up for the night. I was dumbfounded. Oops!

never_odd_or_even

We were robbed one day - the idiots pulled out a garbage bag and proceeded to load it up. They were partially smart and went in reverse, so we couldn't see their license plate.

Because of that, I went outside to view it because they got caught at a red light leaving and turning left. I got reprimanded and written up for leaving the store.

  A week later, the same thing happened, but the culprits were on foot. Having this JUST happen, I simply side-stepped out of the way and proceeded to wave goodbye to them as they left.  

All of this was caught on camera. I was fired the next day for not "helping" during the event. I literally had no idea what to do. Nothing’s right for them.

Miroudias

Two years ago. It was my second job. I was working as a cashier. Someone who was in my line left two big packages of bottled water on the bottom of their cart.

I didn't catch it, or the person bagged it, so they got out without paying for it. I was taken to the back room by security. They asked me if I knew what it was about, and I had no idea.

  They told me what had happened and proceeded to call the police. I was fired, given a $303.00 ticket, and arrested. They cuffed me pretty forcefully, actually.  

As if a 17-year-old 95-pound girl posed a huge threat to them and walked me out in front of everybody. I eventually got the retail theft charge dropped from my record under the circumstance that I paid the $303.00 ticket.

Ash_RC

I was working at a movie theater and had put in my two weeks' notice one week and six days before. On my last day on the job, I spilled a huge tub of ketchup on the floor by accident and said crap a little too loudly.

The manager then made me come to his office and told me that cursing in front of customers was not allowed and my history of bad judgment was grounds for firing me.

And so even on my last day, he proceeded to fire me and tried to get me to sign a piece of paper saying that I had done this in the past and had been written up multiple times.

I told him to show me the write-ups since I had never been written up or in trouble before. After a 1/2 hour sitting there, he returns and says that he can't find them "right now" but that I'm still fired and need to sign the piece of paper.

I was pissed at his attitude and didn't care because I was starting a job at a hospital for 3 more bucks an hour, and I just wrote "Screw You" on the signature line and walked out.

2 weeks later, when I went to pick up my final paycheck, I came in my new work uniform, and the same manager was working.

It was a little awkward until he asked me, "Do you miss this job yet?" "No, I make more money than you now." I signed the pay sheet and haven't been back since.

dblink

I nannied for a very rich family for quite a while. I was young, 18 at the time, but I had watched the kids for close to 2 years.

Of course, I was still in school at that age but watched the kids several nights a week during the school year and about 100 hours a week during the summer.

These people were lottery-rich and didn't work a "real" job, so I was the only one watching their kids, even during the school year.

They were cool. It was a really sweet job. I watched all four kids under the age of 5, cooked, cleaned, and did laundry for a pretty low wage ($6 an hour). They treated me really well and paid me over my agreed-upon wage pretty routinely.

They knew my boyfriend at the time and told me I could have him over any time. He could stay the weekend while they were out of town.

I loved the kids like my own, taught them all kinds of things, always had art projects for them, etc. It was generally a sweet arrangement for everyone involved.

One year, I told them I wanted to spend Valentine's Day going out with my boyfriend and wouldn't be able to watch the kids that night.

The dad told me not to come back. I had been with their kids all that time, had taken care of the youngest since just days after his birth, etc.

He didn't try to explain, "Hey, I had big plans for that night. Can we work something out?" or anything like that, just "If you can't work that night, don't come back." I never saw the kids again.

Laurifish

I used to be a DJ at a strip club downtown, and we had a "regular" customer who owned a local area sports bar. He offered me a job about once a week (when he was wasted) to come and be a bouncer at his place because I'm also a pretty big guy.

Right around Christmas time, I figured I could use the extra money, so I told him I would work for him for a few weeks on the side.

On my first night there, he told me that he only had 2 rules: don't drink on the job, and don't mess with his daughter Shannon.

Soooo about 1 week after that, I stayed after hours and had a few cocktails with her and some of the waitstaff, and the next morning, I woke up to him yelling some foul obscenities and a very naked Shannon next to me on a fold-out couch in his living room. I was VERY fired.

Buckfutters

Now, I am not so ignorant that I can not tell that this is the same grown woman who has been raising hell about cartons of cigarettes, but I am curious to see what lengths she is willing to go to, so I play along.

I find the price of beer. Next, it is whipped cream. Again, I find the price but mention that it is the tub and not the canister. "Oh, it's the tub." she says, "Well, that should still work."

Laughing in the background is overheard. "Well, do you have condoms?" she asks. Laughing in the background becomes hysterical. I am dealing with classy folk at the ripe age of 16ish. "Yes, I believe we do," I say. "

A single pack is such and such a price." "Oh, well, that seems pretty expensive." The background is silent. "Hmm, you're right. That does seem expensive," I respond.  

"I'll tell you what, you can come in and pick up your beer and whipped cream and pack of condoms and then go screw yourself, witch."

I hang up the phone with a sense of accomplishment, only to see a mother with her young child standing at the soda cooler, unimpressed. Fired the next day.

Glorybowl3

I worked washing dishes and at a gas station many years ago. I was really barely making ends meet and couldn't always keep my clothes super clean fodue to lack of time from working two jobs. I barely had any clothes to begin with.

So, one day, I was sick with a stomach bug, but I had to work. I ended up crapping my pants at the gas station, throwing out my undies with no backup.

I thought I cleaned up really well, but I didn't notice the poo bled through and was visible when I bent over to pick things up...and the pants were getting very thin in the back. Plus, I was still feeling sick.

I'm in the kitchen washing dishes like a champ and no problems. I get a 15-minute break and sit at a table and drink some hot tea. I guess I farted, but in reality, it was much worse.

Break over back to work. Well, my poo-stained pants now have bled into the seat, and a rip has developed in the back of my pants...I should have known that the cool breeze was not normal...and something felt wet.

So my manager comes by to talk to me on my way to the restroom to investigate my pants. I take off my hat. "uglyfatbroketinyclock," she says, "were you sitting at that table" (pointing to where I drank my hot tea earlier).

"Yes," I said, "I took my break there, "why? She says, "A customer says the chair smelled like a dump and was wet." My face lit as red as a baboon's butt, and I dropped my hat, which I had been clutching in my hands.

When I bent over to pick it up, I guess I mooned half the restaurant and my manager with my shart-covered arse. Fired on the spot. I wish unemployment had been 99 weeks back then.

Not my story, but a friend told me a story he saw happen to his co-worker. These two old ladies (white) are walking around in circles, and the co-worker (black) asks if she can help them.

The two old women immediately start flinging racial slurs at her and telling her that they don't want HER help. My friend (white), trying to pacify the situation, offers to help and tells his co-worker to just brush it off, that they aren't worth getting angry at.

But no, the co-worker wasn't going to take the insults lying down. She started arguing with them, and eventually, this drew the attention of their boss, and she was fired, even after she explained the situation.

But that's not the end of the story. The co-worker leaves before the old women do, and the moment they step into the parking lot, she comes out from around the corner and punches these old racist women square in the face.

She started knocking them arse over teakettle and then took off in her car. When the cops did an investigation, the manager denied that the event ever happened.

He said that the woman was in the process of being fired from his office when the supposed assault took place. She got re-hired.

FFandMMfan

Back in the '70s, my aunt worked at a steak and ale. Her good friend had just been promoted to waiter from bus boy, and a fairly large family came in.

He served them for over 2 hours, pretty much busting his arse, making sure they had everything they could possibly need. Well, after they finished, he came back to see that they left a 10-cent tip.

Naturally, he was furious, so he ran outside and threw the dime at their car. Well, the father gets out of the car and complains, and he is demoted back to being a busboy.

My aunt then asked their boss to reconsider, seeing as how it was completely unfair given that the customers were total jerkwards. She was fired on the spot.

luckynumber3

Working at a local Internet Help Desk was way below my qualifications, but they had sweet benefits and discounted football tickets.

Anywho, every Friday was "Jeans" and t-shirt day. About 6 weeks in, I showed up on a Friday ready for my usual overnight on the helpdesk when my floor manager came over and started questioning me about my jeans.

I asked him why he was asking me about it because everyone else was wearing jeans that night...He said, "I thought it was only 1 Friday a month?"

Then he decided to try to argue with me about my knowledge. I was already pissed at this point when he asked," Which port number do you use for HTTP traffic?"

I said to him, "The same port that we all use for your mom's arse." needless to say, I was done within 30 seconds. The official release letter stated the cause of release as "Mr. Landingbird did not enjoy his career choice."

[deleted]

I was working as a line cook at a fairly busy restaurant. I was the only one scheduled on a Saturday night. The others somehow managed to swing it off. This Saturday was the norm, really, but still busy for one cook to handle alone. I got behind.

Waitresses cussing me out. Eventually, some customer came into the kitchen yelling she'd been waiting for 30 minutes, etc. (I looked at her ticket, 15 minutes only). I told her I'd have it out ASAP (at the time, I cared about the job.).

Also told her not to come back into the kitchen again. Another customer decided to mimic the previous one, with the same result. As I was finishing both dishes, they both came with 2 extra customers screaming, hollering, etc.

I had a bag of goldfish crackers under the line (where the plates were stacked). At that time, I had waitresses freaking out on me, the dish boy walked, and my deep fryer kid walked out on me.

3 waitresses, 4* customers who weren't supposed to be in the kitchen, no line cooks, and no other support staff, along with a supply that was dwindling because management didn't order enough inventory.

In front of them all, I picked up a large vodka bottle (2 liters in size but only a quarter or so full) and drank the whole thing in front of them, yelling, "You cook the crap yourselves, you freaking witches!"

I walked out *throwing the goldfish crackers at them. Figuring the whole thing was recorded, I could make the case that there was no one, and not 1 person should be held alone running a restaurant of that size.

Management disagreed. I was given my last pay and told to never step foot on the premises ever again. 12 months later, they were closed.

Lo and behold, I was the executive chef for the new restaurant that took its place, premises...screw that crap. I no longer work for that restaurant, but for reasonable reasons.

OddaDayflex

Not me, but a friend. He was working on the stage crew at an Opera House in NYC. His job was to change the slides on the projector during the show, and when he went to change it, he put in the wrong slide.

So he finally fixes his gigantic mess up in front of a whole audience, and as he's getting down the ladder, his boss shows up to ask what's going on.

  No sooner does he start explaining when the director of the opera comes backstage and begins to tell his boss that he better "find that freaking jerkward and fire him" ASAP.

So his boss, instead of selling him out, goes, "As soon as I find him, I swear I will," and the director leaves. Then he turned to my friend and said, "So I've got some bad news..."

lightermann

I was a co-owner of a coffee shop, and we both pulled shifts behind the counter, making drinks with the employees. One day, some guy ordered an iced toddy. We make the drink to the usual specs.

He complains it isn't strong enough. I told him that it would cost extra to add a toddy shot. He says to do it. I added the shot and announced the new, higher price.

He then shoves the drink across the counter at me and says it still isn't strong enough. I add another shot (free, in order to get him out there and off my back) and reannounce the price. He then pushes the drink across the counter back at me and says, "I'm not paying for this crap."

It was summer and hotter than hell behind that counter. I'd done my best to please him, even throwing in a free shot. I snap. I throw the iced drink into his chest and shout, "WELL THEN YOU CAN GO SCREW YOURSELF WITH THE CUP!".

He storms out. I immediately find my biz partner and tell her what happened. She says I'm never to work the counter again. We had to start another axillary business for me to put my share of work into.

cheapdialogue

Years ago, I got my first job ever. They had Blendtec blenders. I was so excited because days before I got the job, I watched this guy blend a rake, some marbles, and other crazy things.

  On maybe my 4th or 5th shift, I noticed one of the milk bags in the fridge was leaking. Instead of putting it in another container, I thought, "Perfect, let's try out this Blendtec."

It's not perfect. Before I could say, "That was disappointing because it didn't blend, the manager walked out from the back, and I was fired.

PureMDC

Boss found out I actually intended for my temp job to be temporary. Everyone else working there was there for the long haul even though they were hired through a temp agency, so they got low pay and no benefits.

Word got out I was actually quitting in a week. The boss told me I don't need to come next week. I was like, "Sweet!" It wasn’t a bad thing for me.

  He wasn't mean at all about it. The company was just taking advantage of people, and I felt awesome having worked there under the assumption that they were going to take advantage of me when I was actually taking advantage of them.  

Everyone there (chemical packing plant) thought I was weird because I would read books on my lunch break. What was weird about it? Lol.

brainstain

The store I was working in was hiring a new manager, and a part of the process was to give them a test shift in the store to see how well they worked, etc.

So this new manager, who knows nothing about how the particular store ran, started telling people what to do, and within a matter of minutes, the place was in complete disarray.

And with perfect timing that the gods themselves could not muster, he starts screaming at me just as the area manager walks into the store (The area manager is the guy who hired me a couple of months before).

Anyhow, he calms him down, and the guy apologizes to me, and all is well and good. About an hour later, these two regular customers (who happened to be police officers) came in and ordered their usual...

But then they pulled me aside, asking about the new guy. I told them his name, and the looks on their faces were that of a cliff face - almost all humor those guys had just drained away.

They proceeded to ask me if there was somewhere private where they could talk to him, but alas- we were in the middle of a lunch rush, and the only free space was the freezer.

So they pull the guy aside into the middle of a busy restaurant, ask him a few questions, and then arrest him. Never saw him again.

Got a call the next day from the police asking me to go through his bag. I found a black book, every page filled with people's names, credit card details, phone numbers, and addresses… Interesting day at work, I have to say

semaj_inc

At the college I went to, I broke a chair by accident at work one night. I went ahead and threw it away in a dumpster, cleaned up the mess, and thought nothing of it.

The next day I worked, I had forgotten about it, and the university police wanted to have me arrested for destroying property and endangering the lives of others.

Needless to say, I was fired, but I didn't get charged with anything. I was required to pay back the cost of the chair and do 30 hours of community service.

Seriously, if you think colleges are hurting for money, break something, and you'll really see how low they'll go to get money out of you.

thecircusb0y

Not me, but I have a friend I used to work for who got fired 3-4 times from our job. We worked at a moving company. One time, he dropped a lady's hot tub down a hill.

It rolled into a lake and was forever lost. Got fired. A couple of months later, the boss man needed more labor.....brought him back.

The second time, I paid him to fight the boss man. He got fired on the spot. The third time, he told one of the customers that one of the other guys we worked with was banging his cousin (the other guy was banging his own cousin, to clarify).

Anyways.....I guess he's laughing now because he went on to play football for the Arizona Cardinals 2 months later. Funny stuff.

fruitloop

I was working in our mall, at the ice skating rink. It was closing time, and there were no customers in the mall at all. So my co-workers and I were messing around and whatnot.

I was dared to moon my buddy driving the Zamboni. So I climbed on top of our rental racks, dropped my pants, and full-on mooned him.

Unfortunately, our rink had clear glass on the outside, and the security cameras from the food court caught everything.

  Not even 10 minutes later, security was at our front desk, and I was promptly handcuffed and escorted out. So, I got arrested for public indecency and was held overnight.  

I was released when my manager/boss came to drop the charges since he owned the mall. He said he never wanted to see me in his mall again. And that is how I got fired from my favorite job.

[deleted]

My husband and I washed dishes at a local sports bar back in the day. We ran out of dish soap, and the machine broke ... on the same day... so the general manager told us to wash the greasy dishes by hand with scalding hot water until they were clean.

"No matter how hot the water is, the dishes will stay greasy w/o soap!" my husband tried to explain to this freaking moron. He actually got in my husband's face, accusing him of calling him a liar in front of "his kitchen," so I cut in.

"Really? This is silly. We can't do dishes w/o soap. We can do them by hand, but he's right. They'll stay greasy w/o the soap."

cue a giant unnecessary explosion of expletives, and I was fired =D I was so pissed that I didn't get to hear the wonderful remarks he made to my husband. "Gonna get lippy too?" "HECK YEAH I AM!"

So he proceeds to storm through the dining area, screaming at the top of his lungs not to eat there. They don't clean the dishes or the kitchen.

They serve rotting food to customers, and (my fav) when ordered to clean the fresh fridge storage one slow day, we scraped mold and mildew from the floor.

When left at room temp for only a short period, it began to smell strongly of feces, which probably explained the food poisoning that both our friend who works behind the line and I got after eating a salad wrap.

Our mistake. We also wrote a letter to the Health Department about everything. Needless to say, they closed down shortly after canned.

akaRandomHero

A woman walks in and says, "My son wants this soccer game for Christmas..don't know what it's called." The Guy says, "Why, that would almost 100% certainly be Fifa 11, which just came out and has been hugely popular!"

To which this lady simply says, "Hnng not sure," and this guy convinces her for some time until she agrees to purchase it as a surprise for her boy.

So he says, "Well, what console is this for?" she says, "I don't know." He asks helpful questions like, "Do you know what it looks like? Are any of these names familiar?" and she says, "Wouldn't have a clue," to which he simply responds, "You're a clown." Woman complains, instaFired.

camdizzles

My freshman year of college, I worked for this really crappy pizza place mainly because it was within walking distance from my dorm, and I didn't have a car.

This place was pretty known for having an extremely high turnover rate and i had heard a lot of stories of how horrible the management was.. for some reason, I took the job.

About two months into the job, I had to work the late-night shift, where I got off at 4:00 in the morning and needed to sign up for classes that same morning. My school had us sign up for classes online at around 2 or 3 a.m. for some reason.

I had mentioned to management that I needed thirty minutes to sign up for classes if they were going to schedule me to work that day. I didn't think it would be a problem because we're never busy during the weekdays, and I was a really good worker overall.

So the time came to sign up, and the manager that was there that night refused to let me... We weren't busy, and he had no reason not to let me.

I explained to him that it would take less than thirty minutes because I brought my own laptop, and he still refused just to be a jerkward while he was sitting at the tables, not doing anything.

We debated this for a couple of minutes until he finally said something like, "You're wasting your money... It's not like you'll get far in your life anyway. Now get back to work."

I was livid and told him off. He then told me to gtho. I left with no regrets except for not having left earlier. I didn't even get my last paycheck because we were paid under the table.

That place ended up getting a bung of lawsuits from ripping people off and hiring delivery drivers who didn't have car insurance, one of which totaled someone else's car because he was drinking on the job and delivering orders. Seriously, dumb people.

ProstheticBabe

Working at a well-known sandwich chain in rural Wyoming for tuition money. A local rancher comes in and asks me what the Philly Cheese-Steak sandwich tastes like.

I told him that I hadn't personally had the sandwich, but I'd heard rave reviews, and it was ordered fairly often in the shop. He said, "Well, why haven't you tried it then?"

I politely explained that I had been a vegetarian for years and that the only sandwich I ate there was the Veggie Delight.

A few days later, I get called into the boss's office. He lists off a large list of reasons why they were letting me go, most of which were complete fallacies.

Then, it ended with, "Not to mention that we got an angry phone call from a local rancher, saying you were rude to his way of life by talking about your vegetarianism. So we're letting you go."

He was very careful to say that my vegetarianism wasn't the reason for being fired, but I'm quite sure that was it. I worked harder than anyone else in that joint because I had something to prove. Good riddance to that job, though.

venustas

I was working for a store run by Indians, and there was NEVER a schedule made. It was day-to-day. They usually called or otherwise let you know if you were working the next day.

Anyway, I asked for a Friday off to go see The Distillers, which is 2 1/2 hours away. The son of the owners obliged, and much merriness and drunkenness ensued.

The next day, since I never got a call or other notification of work, I figured I had the day off. So I went to the mall with my girlfriend, got a CD, and goofed off.

On the way back to the apartment, who rolls up? The owner's son. He yells from his car window, "YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!!!" Uhhh, what???

It was more than likely my own fault for not checking in on that day, but crap. Fairness was thrown out the window on that one. I was doomed to fail.

MikeyTheMangler