“Don’t Say Yes, Runaway Now” Biggest Red Flags Ignored During A Relationship

Being involved in a relationship opens our eyes to things that we will possibly live on in the future. That is why it is vital to make a keen observation of your partner because marriage is a risk, you should know what you are getting into. Because if you see major red flags along the way, run away!

There Redditors share the stories of turning a blind side to a relationship red flag. We could learn a thing or two from these stories on how we can navigate ours in the future. Check these out!

1. Trust Twist

Yeah, she was really worried about some of my female friends stealing me away from her. She became so toxic every single day that of everything I did, having interactions with other women was the biggest deal to her.

It became so worse to the point of not allowing me to interact with them. "It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust her!" Well, I caved in because of her concerns. But, she cheated on me.

Thedoc9

We had dated years before, broke up, ran into each other, and got back together. When we started dating again and shortly after I proposed, we went on a small, local trip.

I was handling her phone and was using Maps for the first time. I was wondering how close the roads were approaching based on what Maps was telling me. I completely missed the road we were supposed to turn on.

Big whoop, right? I mean, simply go to the next road and turn around? If that were the truth, I wouldn't be posting this here. She completely flipped out on me about missing the turn.

I tried to calm her down by being rational and telling her we could just go further down the road and turn around but she still flips out. That should have been my warning shot to change my mind, turn back and run.

A few years later before we got divorced we were coming back from a high school play with her daughter and daughter's friends in the backseat. I had just gotten a new phone while she had the latest and greatest 5 I think.

She wanted me to turn off voice navigation on her phone as it was interrupting the Bluetooth audio from the music playing on her phone. I explained to her that it was a different phone and that I had never messed with the Bluetooth audio before, but she had none of it.

That's when she said, "Well, I guess we're gonna get lost because you can't figure out the phone." I should have just walked the 15 miles back to our house. We still keep in touch and I sometimes miss the physical connection, but thinking back to moments like those helps keep me grounded.

emax4

There were several lies were told at the beginning but there was always an explanation and a story for it. She had a previous divorce but didn't spend much time with their kids.

I caught him still using dating apps but he said they were just his friends that he kept in touch with. She never admitted to any faults of their own and all of the previous failed relationships were always the other person's fault.

She couldn't keep the same group of friends. She was very charismatic but couldn't keep a story straight. Such a stone-faced liar.

Randomracket

She didn't finish high school. She never told me about that while we were dating. After we got married I found out that she couldn't see anything moderately difficult through to the end. Including our marriage.

She ghosted me while I was at work. We were already 3 years, 3 months, 1 week, and 3 days in. She just left without any reason or explanation as to why she decided that. I haven't seen her since.

blank_zilla

Same as other red flags. Immediate family relationships were overlooked/ignored. Her parents were gigantic enablers. Her parents didn't believe in counseling. Since her father was a medical representative, there was a pill for everything.

As soon as we had our first kid, stress and anxiety showed its face. She turned to Xanax and Ambien right away. She never learned any coping skills. I was 29 when we divorced.

Luke187

I realized it was a possibility since I met her but I don't care because I love her. She's extremely emotionally unstable and the recent passing of her brother spiraled her into a dark place.

From there she was diagnosed with bipolar and now a lot of things from the past make sense. She is compliant with her medicine and attends therapy. We are best friends so we communicate well.

I love her very much and I'm here to support her no matter what even though she's an extremely different person now. I'm sure I'm different too, but hopefully in a way that is beneficial to her.

It was a hard lesson for me to learn that love cannot cure someone's depression, and I'm still learning how to cope with this huge change myself. People who are married to someone living with mental illness and struggling.

Don't be afraid to ask for help! Sometimes your reality gets so skewed living with your partner's illness every day, that you forget some things are not normal behavior for people who do not have depression or that particular illness.

I feared that her irrational behavior would become normal for me and I wouldn't see the warning signs if she was starting to struggle again. My therapy sessions keep me in check.

[deleted]

That feeling in my gut is like a silent tug that something isn't right, but I ignore it because I so desperately want someone to love me and be in love. Well, that feeling will eat someone away eventually,

That feeling will eventually become too big to ignore, and the only choice left is to see how things really are; not how you want them to be. Don't ignore your gut. Your gut is always right.

More_wineplease

When I met my husband he was a bit of a neat freak, and that didn't bother me but I later found out that it was because his first wife was verbally abusive (in my opinion). She'd make him feel worthless, call him stupid, ugly, etc. I guess he tried to please her by always having things just right.

She ended up cheating and leaving. He and I met shortly thereafter. Well, I went the opposite direction, told him he's perfect, just be yourself and don't worry about being a neat freak, etc.

He's still my perfect guy almost 20 years later. but he doesn't clean a thing anymore and I almost regret talking him out of that behavior because it clearly wasn't his natural tendency to be neat!

Wait4apocalypse

On our first date, she treated the wait staff like crap. She would tell me that she could never be with a guy like me because I did not have a degree.

She hated my parents. She chased my friends away. But for some reason, I wanted to have kids with her. So silly me, put up with it all.

After nine years of abuse and emasculation, I could not take it anymore and left her. She gave me two of the most near-perfect humans I have ever met so I would not change anything.

Jarave68

When I started dating my ex-husband I was working 2 part-time jobs, however, one of them was seasonal and I knew it was about to end so I was looking for another part-time job.

My best friend at the time worked for this company that conducted telephone exit interviews of people who worked in the medical field (as far as I remember anyway). I went to her son's birthday party, where I met her boss and chatted with him for a few minutes and he told me he had some openings and to come in for an interview.

I was super excited because I needed a job so bad and this one was perfect. You'd think my boyfriend would be happy for me, right? I told him and he got pissed off immediately.

He started ranting about how he was only offering me a job because he wanted to sleep with me and forbade me from pursuing it. To this day I don't know why I didn't just tell him to shut off.

Another glowing example of what a catch he was I had been saving money to splurge on a gaming PC and he surprised me on my birthday by buying me a computer.

He then surprised me by saying I could pay him back whenever I wanted. Obviously, I was confused because I thought the computer was a gift. I was wrong though because he paid for the shipping and that was my gift. Lucky me, eh?

Just wanted to add that he made the job situation seem like he was just looking out for my best interest. The computer thing somehow made sense to me at the time, it was only looking back that I realized it was incredibly dumb.

I think my biggest issue was a low sense of self-worth that he reinforced (consciously and subconsciously) throughout our relationship. I just didn't realize it until we'd been together almost 7 years.

harleen_quinzell

The biggest one for me was finding a condom wrapper in the trash when I picked up a shampoo bottle for reading material while taking a dump. It was only my fiancée and I living there and we didn't use protection.

I was heartbroken and when I confronted her later that day she told me that she found one while cleaning our "adult drawer" and wondered if she could put her foot in it. It was kind of weird.

At the time it seemed to be a perfectly reasonable explanation, or I was just so afraid of the truth and heartbreak that I desperately wanted to believe something that wouldn't be painful.

We had a wedding a year later, and after 5 months of marriage, I caught her in a web of lies that led to a co-worker's house for you know what.

Even after getting upset with her and telling her it was over I had a change of heart and asked her to see a marriage counselor with me. She refused and left me for my coworker.

Michaelnpdx

The pictures. We had to take a million freaking pictures of us doing stuff and stuff. Everything was on social media with a picture, every post was "My marine." Every conversation was about her being a Marine girlfriend, etc.

It was all for the show, I was a trophy. When we got married she quit going to school and quit her well-paying job. When she'd meet people and they asked what she did she said she was a military wife, etc.

We divorced and she has a kid now and everything is about her being a mom. She just changed situations as far as I can tell.

[deleted]

My wife while I was in the Air Force was a lot. Very dramatic, and always very adamant about her social media presence. Her whole family had to know that I was in the AF and that I was a cop.

She even told people that I guarded nukes, which brought on a whole line of questioning that made everyone uncomfortable.

When we divorced after she cheated on me with a friend of mine from my unit, she cranked up the "single mom" dial to 11. Every post on her social media account was a selfie, usually of her big ass forehead.

The girl I've been with for the last three years, though, hardly posts at all. Sure, she has a social media account. I've seen her comment on things now and then. The only pictures she posts are of her and I out doing things together, or pictures of my kid.

It's great how much things have turned around. I was so grateful I even got my way out of that relationship which is only based on social media. It's also sad how accurate the social media/crazy line graphs are.

Judoka229

This was the case with my parents: my mother didn't discover my father's mental problems until later. The why is that they got married way too fast, two months and bipolar disorders have natural ups and downs. She had only seen the up.

A textbook example of why you shouldn't marry unless you've been with the person for a while. A common message for all the amazing stories people are sharing is it's not so much the disorder that's the problem, as the unwillingness to admit to it and deal with it. Such was the case with my father.

Maleficus1234

My ex, when we first started going out, would have a little too much to drink every few months. She would say each time, as I was holding her over the toilet, "Never again."

Well, about 10 years later it was still happening. She ended up meeting some girlfriends who were​ all in the same well-lubricated frame of mind.

Things got very messy after that and I felt that I was no longer an equal partner, but a babysitter. When that happens, there is no way of coming back.

CptLoken

My ex was like this, she would always get way too drunk, she'd get angry with me while drunk, and 90% of the time it would end in her crying while I was trying to console her. This happens almost every single night.

She made friends who all they'd do was go out and get drunk and ended up almost every time she hated the night. But she never stopped drinking even though she said that she hated it.

Deathlinger

He didn't necessarily change, but I woke up to an issue. His mother is overly involved. She wants to come to stay weekends with us without warning. When he told her he had proposed she told him he should've waited.

She was a wench at our wedding. And when we told her I was pregnant she also said we should've waited. So she has a negative opinion on us. He is a momma’s boy too, so I bet it hurts, but he won't admit it. I just wish she'd butt out.

EmmilyLWood

I believe my mother-in-law has a Jocasta complex. She has an unhealthy attachment to him and it's only with him. Her relationship with her younger son is much healthier. She is the only woman who will ever be good enough for him, so, naturally, she has hated me from the start.

She throws her emotional burden on him. She depends and confides in him the way you would a spouse and has done so since he was very young. She has guilt-tripped him every time he has tried to get some space from her and blames him for her anxiety attacks and bad moods.

Her attraction to him is borderline icky and highly inappropriate. He has normalized it and doesn't realize how creepy it is because it has been happening his whole life.

When we stay at her house she will burst into the bedroom and even the bathroom without knocking, it's almost as if she is trying to catch him naked.

As a result, she has seen more of me than I would have preferred. She makes comments about his muscles and asks personal questions about his body and our intimate life. I can't stand her.

Wanderluststricken

Yes, I ignored some pretty big red flags and to this day I am not sure why I went ahead with the marriage. The first that I thought of was ignoring the fact that he was texting this one girl and lying about it.

The texts didn't seem too crazy (at first) but he would still lie and say things like I wasn't texting her or I just had a question about work. Then I also ignored them when leading up to the wedding and his leaving for boot camp, he seemed to just not care anymore.

He was already starting to get too big of a head because he had lost so much weight. Then on our wedding day, he ignored me pretty much the entire reception. His excuse was I wanted to hang out with my friends because I was leaving for boot camp in three days.

I should've just annulled the marriage right there, but I stuck around for another year and a half and it only got worse. I found a girl's clothes in our room after visiting my family in our home state and then coming back to our apartment.

He would tell me my opinions didn't matter because I was nothing but a civilian. I ended after a year and a half of marriage. He still tells people I left him because he was deploying and I didn't want to wait for him. 6 years later I am much happier than I was then.

Yesjesshero

Others could see it but I was blinded by love. No matter what the situation was, she'd always make the choice that was easy over the right choice.

This led to tons of lying to me, buying things, and buying something for me thinking I wouldn't be upset that she'd spent a ton of money as long as “I got something too.”

In retrospect, I was clearly married to a person with the mental maturity of a third-grader. Within a month after our split, she moved across the country to her daddy's whom she barely knew.

This was so he could take care of her. She bought a ferret, gave the ferret away, and spent all the money she had on new clothes, toys, and games.

Iongreen

He was never really that into intimacy, even when we were first dating. He was okay if we had it, but okay if we didn't, and he rarely initiated. I put it down to his personality type (very brainy, awkward, introverted) and some cultural issues. I figured we would learn together.

After we had our second child, he indicated that we no longer needed to have physical intimacy, now that we had our allotment of children; like the whole thing had been such a burden to him.

As it turns out, he is not all that into a physical relationship. Cue at least 5 years of me freaking out, wondering what is wrong with me, wondering if it is shallow to consider leaving an otherwise ideal life over intimacy.

I was suffering from physical neglect, wishing I was the kind of person who could cheat, him pulling at me because he felt attacked, suffering horrible self-esteem, loads of counseling, etc.

Yeah, he just doesn't like intimacy. It's all on him. It has nothing to do with me. I had to let a lot of resentment go. After some pretty rough times, he is realizing that I still need to feel loved and he is communicating his love to me in other ways.

We have been through so much in 15 years that I see his whole worth as a person, not just his value as a physical intimate partner. Our marriage is swinging back around and I am grateful. It's really okay.

[deleted]

I love my husband immensely. While dating he was late to things. It wasn't in his mind to consider everyone else point of view. I am a child of an alcoholic so I over consider. The balance has been good for me.

That being said, I wish he would show up on time. If it's his event for family or hobby he is there early. But for my family or my hobby, he drags his feet.

I hate it and it's so rude and obnoxious. 23 years of it. He is not changing. I have adapted. It still pisses me off but I put it into perspective. I am no joy either, I bet.

Tess47

I think one of the early signs of trouble I missed was when my ex would cook only for himself. If I was home and he was making a sandwich or something he never offered me one.

If I asked he would oblige but he never thought of me unprompted. He didn't ask about coffee, pasta, or staying out when we had plans.

He turned out not to be a very considerate person. He thinks about the moment and his needs but not beyond that. We had a really good 10-year relationship and I still like him as a person.

He is just not a great partner. Everyone wants something different in their significant other. For me, I needed to be a consideration in his life.

afkaOP

My now ex and I dated for six years. I thought I would get past her being a mean person. She said that her past boyfriend had a large impact on her and that she was mean to people now because of it.

She had a malicious mindset where if someone hurt her it was her job to hurt them back (which was me more often than not) If someone has a personality that you don't like, get out. They won't change. That's who they are. It will only get worse, and you'll be miserable.

OnWitsEnd

I will say that we weren't married. My ex started acting differently. Once the first two years were over and things were thoroughly serious she just seemed to stop putting effort into seeing me.

She was always busy and when this happens for a week it's fine for a month and you start wondering if she's making plans on purpose so that we don't see each other.

So I'd say the red flag is when your loved one stops putting in the effort to continue dating and spending time with you. It hurts.

Slightly_On_Topic

He was controlling, and verbally abusive and he partied a lot. I was a partier, too, but after we started a family, I grew up and he never did. He treated his parents like dirt, which was the biggest flag because he eventually treated me and our kids like dirt, too.

I eventually took the kids and walked away from him, our house, and everything I owned, the best decision I ever made. It's been almost 10 years and he hates me with a passion. I couldn't care less.

He however harbors his hate for me, and I've come to the conclusion that he hates me so hard because he still loves me, in a sick, twisted way.

Hippydippy420

Mine is a variation. His family treated him like an afterthought. His parents were divorced, remarried to other people, and played happy family without giving him a role.

They go on months without calling him, no birthday presents, etc. Eventually, he started treating me this way. He doesn't hate me. I have no evidence that he thinks of me at all. Part of me will always feel sorry for him that he considers this normal.

Csn00bdiy

Not me, but my mum. Dad was a perfect gentleman, then came the wedding night. He had had a lot to drink and Mum was just trying to put him to bed and he said to her "Shut up, I own you now.”

I would've left there and then, got an annulment. Mum stayed and 2 years later had my brother, 2 years after that she had me. 5 years later after a lot of emotional and physical torment (staying "for the kids") my brother said to her "Do we have to live with Dad, he scares me.”

We packed up everything the next day while he was at work and left. She's now been happily married to my stepdad for the last 10 years.

My dad, however, is a lonely pathetic douche living by himself in a crappy block of granny flats who hasn’t seen either of his kids in more than 15 years.

Sucrausagi

One of the most underrated predictors of spousal behavior is the parents. When we become “husband or wife,” we emulate our examples of what a husband or wife is. I was surprised when I started instinctually doing all the things my dad used to do.

My wife started doing all the things that drove me nuts about my mother-in-law. I found that things got better when I started acting like my father-in-law. It's weird, but it's just how things work

Iamthestarlord

The fact that she was never truly happy or content with anything. There was always something wrong with everyone and everything. She never saw the good in whatever situation she was in. It was never terrible but she was basically always pessimistic.

When we got married, it continued. She was still the negative person I knew. She was not happy with any home we bought, not happy with her jobs, and finally, in the end, not happy with me.

elmatador12

When she made our wedding plans was more stressful than fun. It was months of terrible planning. I saw that my fiance and mother didn't get along that well. I figured once we were married that would all smooth out.

But of course, it never did. Nothing got better moving forward. If your parents and fiance don't get along, you're going to have a lot of tough decisions down the road trying to straddle that fence.

Scrappy_Larue

My ex-husband had all the red flags of a sociopath. He would test to see how far he could go with making things up. And he learned what he could do to cover them up. He would use flowers or spend money on me to hide things he was doing.

I learned what I was and wasn't allowed to say in public (for example, none of his friends knew he had a 12-year-old child). I spent little time with friends and family because he would convince me that they weren't supportive or make things that I would believe. After all, I trusted him.

I left my career because he convinced me his pursuit was more important. Lots of things happened over the 10 years we were together. Most of them now I know were just lies to get him to where he wanted to be in life.

In the end, he had a 6-month affair. And the flags were all there. But after years of being manipulated, I didn't know what to believe. He managed to date her and then move to be with her on my dime by convincing me it had to do with his job.

I even paid his rent for the first couple of months in the hope he would come back. He manipulated everyone around him including his friends and even his boss. Now he is a person I don't even recognize because he's taken on the personality of his girlfriend.

I feel bad for her because the same thing is happening to her but in a way, I feel like she deserves it. If you're looking for an outline of what to look for I would say: first, have you given up something you love for that person?

Second, do gifts tend to arrive after something you weren't quite sure was the truth? Third, do you feel like you're begging the person to stay with you all the time?

The last one, do you find yourself above and beyond to please someone just for their affection? Relationships should be relatively easy. Sure there will be fights and times where you aren't sure. But if you're giving up your values or your personality it's time to go.

Divorced_sucker2013

When I was dating my ex-wife, I was so in love that everything was justified or forgivable. I overlooked things like family influence, pride, ignorance, and zeal because, to my smitten eyes, it was just culture, tradition, ethics, and virtue.

As our marriage progressed there was a lot of growth from both of us. I thought that the negative traits that hindered our relationship were dying. It's what I wanted to believe. When our son was born, all the issues of the past (controlling, distortion of facts, family interference) resurfaced.

My ex was religious when we met but always drew virtue from her faith. She questioned her peers and family constantly. I loved this in her. I was agnostic and so our faith was no issue to anyone but her family and peers.

As our marriage progressed, she started to question her teaching and found people can be moral without a fear of God.

When my son was born and I was laid off, it put a lot of strain on both of us. Like a switch, my lack of employment was a failure of my drive. My failure a drive was due to my weakness of character. My faith (lack of) was the root of it.

Her family did nothing to hinder this as her culture and faith were now in the forefront and 11 years of being together were disregarded. My marriage failed. I'm still working through it. I still wouldn't change a thing as I have a son whom I love dearly.

I followed reason instead of my love, I would have seen the warning signs for what they were. I can't change time and maybe this is for the best, but I will say this. Never compromise your character and realize that even though you know someone, things can change.

319Skew

I've thought about this from the moment she left. Turned out she was seeing someone else while we were married. She lived with her parents. This isn't necessarily bad.

When everyone else takes care of everything (cooking, cleaning, bills, etc.) you get used to not having to do anything but still haven't a clean house with food always on the table at mealtime.

She went from encouraging me to hang with my friends to never wanting me to leave the house. This was something I wouldn't have known unless we lived together. Since we live in the Bible Belt, that wasn't an option. It is now!

he didn't like things. It goes beyond not liking the same music or movies I like. She didn't like concerts at all or most movies. There may have been one band and one show we both liked over the marriage.

WastedKnowledge

The way she talked about her ex and called him down on social media. How quiet she would get when I would mention a female name. Like mentioning a female name is a sin. She would also often say that she is a victim in many tales of woe.

The way she talked about her family. When it came to an end, I was another exhibit in her dastardly tales of exes, but I've won my peace back, so I'm good. I am better off without her.

1ronfastnative

It was my first husband, I was very young. He took me to wonderful restaurants and bought me clothes, it was like Christmas and I fell for it. After marriage, I realized he was a control freak. The nice clothes? So he could choose what I wore. Also where we went, who we saw, etc.

I was not allowed to go anywhere alone except to work, not even to see my family. He got angry with me for going to my grandmother's funeral. And things escalated from there. Let's just say to this day I refer to him as "defendant."

bugmom

She'd always be dressing up and spending hours just throwing clothes on and off and in the bathroom getting ready, always making us late no matter how important it was to show up on time. She said she wanted to look good for me. Now I know it was always for herself and just trying to keep up with the Joneses.

What sucks is now we have 3 little ones and all this time she's spending in the bathroom takes a toll on Dad watching them alone. Which in turn makes my daughter late for gymnastics. All this time I keep telling her she looks beautiful in jeans and a sweatshirt!

Thundersnake7

My ex-husband didn't love me, but who he thought he wanted me to be. The red flags I missed, or should say overlooked, was he getting violent when he was angry. Once we were married he started taking his anger out on me, which led to me trying to end everything.

When he got kicked out of the military for ill-treating me, we moved to his home state and I started to argue back. At the end of our marriage, he was talking to other women.

I pretty much said heck this, moved into my apartment, dropped 80 lbs, and enjoyed being single and drinking and having friends. I had lots of one-night stands, and some friends with benefits but nothing ever serious.

I eventually met my second husband who had gone through a lot of therapy like I did because he was also in a previous abusive relationship. We're very happy together and after a year and a half of infertility are expecting our first kid.

[deleted]

He was making shallow comments about strangers. Like "That girl from high school is so fat now, ew what happened" or "Wow if my wife had hairy legs like that, I'd dump her.” I thought he was joking. Nope.

Justifying or condoning things other people did but saying "Even though I wouldn't do that" or not at present doing said thing. A specific example is his best friend always cheated on his girlfriends.

He never talked to him about it, would make excuses for him, and even go to bars and meet other girls with/for him. He later ended up cheating. A lot.

Putting himself ahead of me, always. Like if there was only one of something, he'd eat it. He'd cancel our plans for friends or just not make much time for me. He would get annoyed when I was hurt or sick if it interfered with something he wanted.

"In sickness or in health" is supposed to mean something. No one plans on the sickness part, but if it happens, it's important your spouse actually believes in it.

I know these sound like major red flags, but they were very subtle for the first 2 years and hidden in a lot of stuff that seemed good. If I've learned anything at almost thirty, it's this: People tell you who they are. They do. Watch and listen. Don't let your feelings cloud your intellect or your intuition.

peppermintlemonade

My wife (soon-to-be-ex) was very possessive of me and my time. She expected me to choose her over other things, including friends and family. I fully believe that couples should be committed to each other, so I went along. However, she never really reciprocated.

There is something called "love bombing," where a person puts all of their energies into you and I think that's what made her so attractive to me, she made me feel good about myself. I wrote off her clinginess to insecurity that I felt would go away eventually. After all, I'm a badass and compassionate, I can fix anything, right?

We had good times, to be sure, but when the kids came along, the attention went their way. She's a ball of anxiety and it's just too much to deal with. About 3 years ago, I sat her down and said we were in trouble and needed to go to counseling.

She said "no," but said she'd read books about strengthening the marriage with me. But she didn't. Instead, she poured all of her energies into a friendship she had recently made with the mother of friends of our kids.

It got to the point that I accused her of having an affair with this other woman. Her unusual behaviors with her phone were only one of many indicators that something might be up. She denied.

A year after the accusations, I discovered she had been reading books about lesbianism (specifically being in love with a woman while married) since before the accusation.

She denies it to this day. Quite frankly, it's possible nothing was up, but I'll never fully believe it and need out. She won't give up this friendship, either.

So here I am, more than a year after asking for the divorce and she's still saying she'll work on things. Of course, intimacy is pretty much off the table.

I don't want to be the guy who tries to diagnose his spouse as a way of abdicating any responsibility, but I feel this is a case of narcissism.

cinnamonstyx

While dating she told me she had once been hospitalized for depression. I didn't think much about it. It affected the marriage. She seemed irrationally annoyed after an encounter with an evangelical saying how blessed they were. I don't believe in God either, but that person seemed happy and wasn't preaching at us.

She got annoyed when her mom tried to get her to look at wedding dresses together.

My current girlfriend expressed a little bit of resentment about emoticons: Thumbs up, OK, anything that's a person really, is available in different colors. She said it was too PC. She also went on a drunken tirade about how feminism is destroying everything the first night we met.

Spamburghlar

It’s the way he would speak to his parents. He lived away from them so every conversation seemed to be yelling and screaming. They spoke in a different language so when I'd ask about it, he'd say they weren't yelling that's just how they talk with a lot of gusto. Turns out he was yelling and screaming.

I'm a firm believer that how a man treats their mother (within reason) is a good indication of how they will treat the other important women in their life. If they can't show respect to their mom, how will they know how to show respect to you?

[deleted]

Not one warning signal, we were together for 7 years and I knew what I wanted out of life. I wanted to get married and have a family. I told him, "I want to get married and have kids, if you don't want the same thing I need to move on with my life."

A couple of months later he proposed and we got married six months after that, and I got pregnant. It was like a light switch being turned off. He went from a loving caring thoughtful boyfriend to a lying, cheating, and verbally confrontational husband.

I was completely clueless and didn't understand why he changed, we went to counseling and he said I forced him to marry him and what did I expect? Then he said we're married now there's nothing you can do about it.

I said have you ever heard of divorce? I already had one ex-husband under my belt I could make it two. I was home with two kids under the age of three at this point and he was the only earner in the family, he then proceeded to default on everything that was in my name every credit card every car loan.

He told me if I left he wouldn't pay child support he would just disappear off the face of the earth like I had no family. It took a lot of years to build my credit back up I now have a thriving business of my own and I'm finally free.

Karma_Cookie

Not married but live together. She's angry, selfish, bipolar, and annoying to boot. Not sure why I'm still hanging out. I live in fear of having a kid with her. She's just like her mother just a bit crazier.

Not sure how her dad has done it for 30 years, but I guess that's why he travels a lot. Her brother-in-law deals with the same thing. He's told me to get out before it's too late. I should really listen.

[deleted]

My wife is slowly turning into her mother. When we dated she was outgoing and happy, her mother is single and has never been married, very stubborn and headstrong.

Looking back on the times we dated I never really paid much attention to the other women in her family until now. They were all similar. They are all single and either divorced or run dudes off.

Fast forward through 10 years of marriage and two kids, my wife is just like the other women in her life, lazy, overweight, stubborn, and has no idea how to treat a man but she wants to be treated as queen of the world for doing less than the bare minimum.

I don't ask for much, she's a pretty good mom but she is incredibly lazy which bothers the hell out of me. I know some will ask why stick around, well she went through a period of unemployment and debt has kicked our ass pretty bad.

I love both my kids to death and worry that my daughter will grow up to continue the cycle my wife has and honestly, I'm so broke I can't afford rent to move anyways.

I'm pretty much stuck. To anyone thinking about marrying their SO, check out their family first, that will tell you what you are in for. Guess I was really blinded by love.

Jfree3000