Divorced Men Share Stories Of When They Knew It Was Over

We all have been in situations where we try our best to accommodate the one that we vowed to spend forever with but they make it hard for you to keep your promise and one day you realize, you are better off without them. 

Here are 40+ stories of divorced men when they realized they were done forcing relationships.

1. A “Good Deal”

I was a Lance Corporal bringing home scraps for a paycheck to an unemployed wife. I was making ends meet as best I could but clearly my wife wasn't on the same page with me. One day. she brought home a brand new Lexus IS350 because she "got a good deal on it."

I was supposed to pay the $800/month bill. I definitely didn't think it was a good deal.

Mr. Ignorantiam

I was working on a mother-daughter scrapbook as a Christmas present for her. Was going through her Google Photos account looking for pics of them together. 

Came across a selfie she took with some dude lying on her. Confirmed her second affair.

I knew it was over the moment I saw it. That got to me pretty good.

Chevellefrmhell

When I intercepted the letter to her side piece which was a dirty love letter to him in Jail. I confronted her and she denied everything until I pulled out the letter which illustrated things they had done previously.

Also in the letter she stated, "Don't worry my husband will never leave me". That was about 10 years ago. I'm very happily married now and have a partnership with an amazing woman. Hopefully children soon!!!

Tyler53121

When I saw the text from her "lover" that said something to the effect of "I long for the intimate connection we once shared." and "I rubbed one out in the gym shower thinking of you." The promiscuous woman never sent me texts like that in 10 years of marriage.

Still have the text saved somewhere in a divorce file. This was not the first affair, but it was the one that finished it for me.

CA_TD_Investor

My son was watching Netflix on her phone with me and her boyfriend texted her. It was midnight and he said he missed her and couldn't wait to see her again ( typical, I know). I confronted her and she denied it and said that her friend's daughter was texting my son.

My son is 3, and the daughter in question is two and barely speaking. Yea. That was time to go.

its_ectoplasm

Besides the narcissism, random violence, and violent outbursts, it was her strange punishment. Her last one doomed her. My crime? I forgot milk on the way home from work so she didn't talk to me, not one word, for a week.

PURE BLISS, for a week. When she asked if I was ready to apologize I handed her the divorce papers. "Why?" "Because you rob me of solitude but provide me with no companionship."

Henrysmyagent

There were many reasons but this was the final straw. My grandmother was on her deathbed. My Ex took this time to throw a childish fit because I ordered food that she didn't like. I realized at that point how completely miserable I was and how really short life is.

So we divorced, she took all my money and my kids (+childsupportl). I've still never been happier and every time I have to interact with her it blows my mind that we made it 9 years. I guess when we were together I was so trained to comply and overlook. I now see what an absolute toxic bully she is/was.

Anonfamous

After all the arguments, yelling at each other, and talking at cross purposes we were looking at each other and she said to me, "I know that you are going to divorce me because of this but I hate you".

It was the first time in a long time that I completely understood her and what she was trying to express to me. My daughter was 3 at the time and over the years she said she wanted me back but I would say, all you have to do is apologize for what you said. She never would.

That's how I knew she didn't love me.

Fuzzyknurl

Went to my grandpa's funeral, at Disneyland after the service, flights, and board were paid for by my father. She was the most ungrateful unsupportive whiny woman the whole weekend I couldn't believe it.

My little sister said my entire family didn't like her or her attitude and was constantly asking why she was there, that really sank in and at that moment I knew we were done. Don't keep her around if your family can't stand her, they probably don't like her for good reason.

Squirrelcage1

The Saturday before Easter of this year she came to me with her desire to go to Germany and see "friends" who would pay for her round trip there and back. We got into an argument about it.

I voiced my suspicion that something more was going on. We didn't speak on Sunday. Then Monday rolls around and she tells me she's done. So I get home early, look around on her laptop, and find chats between her and her German girlfriend.

(I invaded her privacy because she had cheated before) She had been planning on divorcing me since November last year. So I call her at work and tell her to pack her shit and get out.

I feel so much better not having the trust issues with her but this whole ordeal is wreaking havoc on my three children.

Aresgodofwar30

My ex-wife and I were already on a trial separation but honestly had hoped we would get it worked out. My daughter and I moved into my parent's house while we figured things out, and Christmas day rolls around and she shows up to give her presents to everyone and leaves.

Just really hit me that she couldn't even stick around on Christmas day because she had more important things to do, that this wasn't going to work. Honestly the only time as a grown man that I've ever cried.

Cookiebasket2

When she said that if I ever did anything that she didn't like she would just divorce me because I was her first real relationship. We had been married for 6 years and were both in our mid-30s.

I loved her, but that was the moment I realized that she didn't know what marriage meant. When I was laid off a few months later, she asked for a divorce and I agreed.

Now I have the best job of my life, have lost 50 pounds, and met a lovely lady. Meanwhile, she has been dumped multiple times, is still single, and has gained weight because she is miserable. I hope she finds some happiness soon though.

Themightyfrog

When she cried poor to me over the $100 she needed to cover going to NYC so she could see a friend she hadn't seen in months. She went from not going because it wasn't worth the money to walking gleefully out the door when I handed her the $100.

As I was laying in bed I wondered why she had no money... I checked her favorite clothing store history. She was averaging spending 75% of her income on clothes and makeup. Everything fell into place for me that day. I filed after the money scavenger hunt turned up she had a Boyfriend too.

The420star

Sometimes when my ex and I used to fight, she would decide that she wasn't going to go to some function or honor plans we had previously made. (sometimes very last minute, like hanging out with friends, dinner with my family, etc.)

For example, we got into an argument and she decided to not go to my only sister's wedding (btw the wedding was that day)... A year later, she did the same thing during a fight.

She threatened me again, telling me that she decided to not go with me to Texas for a reunion with some of the guys I served in the Marines with. I didn't fight it this time and just said OK.

Several days later she tried to renege on her threat and tried to turn it around on me. Saying how mean I was for not wanting her to come with me. I told her that I was relieved that she wasn't going.

I could hang out with my friends whom I hadn't seen since I got out and it would be nice to not have to worry about her crazy, insecure drama. That realization, that I was going to be happier without her was the moment I knew we were done.

AzRamrod

She went to Vegas for a girl's trip. Called me up and said she was going to see a dude she knew in Texas. I said what? I told her no she said she was already on her way.

She stayed there for two weeks and made up the most insane justifications as to why. This is about two months after I bought her breast implants. She left everything. Clothes, purses, shoes, and both dogs that she adored, she did steal my Xbox though.  

I don't know what I did that was so awful I never got a decent answer out of her.

Tunner99

When I went to the emergency room after non-stop vomiting for 2 days. She begrudgingly drove me there but was worried that she would miss her hair appointment if it took too long.

The ER doctor told me it was either a brain tumor or vertigo. We did a CAT scan and awaited the results. I was freaking out and barfing, she was watching the clock and wondering what was taking them so long.

It was vertigo, and she got extra pissed that it was "nothing", and she had to reschedule with her hairdresser.

Macgillweer

I made an account for this. When I saw her texts to the person she was having an affair with, they were making fun of me. I regret the divorce to be honest, she accused me of stuff I didn't do and I can't see my kid anymore.

He was too young to remember me, and I'm sure she isn't giving him a glowing opinion about me. I don't think he will ever want to know his old man.

throwawayembarrassme

The actual moment that I heard something break inside me was returning home at 10:00 PM and discovering my ex asleep in a recliner. My 4 year old was awake watching YouTube on a tablet still dirty from playing that day.

Both of my ex's early and late dinner plates were next to her. TV was playing some reality garbage. My 11-year-old son hadn't eaten and was playing video games on the computer downstairs. "Crakk!". That was the internal noise I heard.

Boilerdavel

She asked me to put some music on her iPhone one evening and then fell asleep while I was doing it. A few hours later, her phone was still sitting there and she got a picture message of some dude.

No conversation before or anything. So I backed out trying to figure out why, where I found the conversation she forgot to clear where she thanked her cousin for watching our son while she went and spent the weekend nights with him while I was at work.

Sanitarium0114

When she started, out of nowhere, sleeping with her hand under her pillow while holding her cell phone. She would take showers with the bathroom door locked so I couldn't get to her phone.

Then, one time, I asked what time it was and picked up her phone and she lunged at me and jerked it out of my hand. Yeah.....she sleeping with my college roommate. The crazy part is that I wasn't even interested in seeing her phone because I could see the call and text logs through our cell provider's online account.

They are now married with a kid. I'm genuinely happy for them and even happier I'm out of that relationship. We made our peace and apologies. It's hard to hate someone that I loved for so long.

We're both happy now and have never, nor will ever, speak ill of one another in front of our son. It's easier to love than be bitter.

DaUltraLife

The day she took me out to Chili's, bought me an El Nino (large volume alcohol margarita), and ended up asking me if I would let her spend time with a guy (one she was with when we were separated once before) and offered to do the cleaning and taking care of the house more thoroughly in return.

I laughed and said, "Yeah... we're gonna just need to divorce now." We're currently in the process of divorce. P.S. We have 5 kids.

Ioxon

I went to church on my birthday and saw her putting on the mask of happiness that was always shown by her to fellow churchgoers. Made me realize how tired I was of having to play that game with her, and then deal with her intense anger and constant arguments at home.

My birthday was supposed to be a really happy day, and I felt miserable and hollow. Called some family that day to organize a move-out party, but was gone four days later.

FuglyJim

Coming home after work to dirty dishes, loads of laundry, and her sitting there in her pajamas wanting to know what I was fixing for dinner. We had been married four years; she was 28 years old. 5 pm on a Sunday afternoon.

I realized nothing would change- she sat up all night, slept all day, and had zero desire to change. Didn't work either. I felt dead inside; any joy in the marriage was gone. Thankfully no children. She was enough of one. I gave her everything.

I left with my car and clothes. Best decision I ever made.

rr1791

The moment I realized that her excuses for her cheating with multiple other guys were all about blaming me and demolishing my spirit so she could continue doing so while I fully supported her financially.

It was the click that I needed to lawyer up and get out of the situation. She had almost broken me, but I finally saw the only regret she had was getting caught.

Shapeofthings

When my kids from my previous marriage told me on the phone they were not coming to visit anymore because of her. I always felt that I could manage the conflict between her and my kids. I was wrong.

The oldest was around 16 and finally stood up to the situation. I told her we were getting divorced as soon as I got off the phone. I had threatened her with divorce a few times prior, but she always told me she tried harder.

This time, she knew I was 100% serious. She moved out within a week. That was a few years ago. My kids and I have a great relationship now. I'm still single and loving every bit of it!!!!

Yeah_i_got_it

The third time I found her passed out from nearly overdosing on muscle relaxers. She had just filled a prescription that day and by the time I got home from work, 47 pills were missing.

Called her mother, told her to come collect her daughter, and that I was done. Filed the very next day.Turns out one of the reasons we never had money was because she had a routine visit with 8 doctors and would just rotate which one she went to for the refill.

Oh well. Not my problem anymore.

CorneliousJohns

When she said she and her female co-worker got exclusive tickets to a grand opening of a swanky restaurant/bar in L.A., not only did she not automatically say I was going too, but then she didn't come home til 7 a.m., and never called once.

At the time deep down I knew what was going on but didn't want to believe it outwardly to myself so I didn't make an issue out of it. But I knew at about 3 a.m. shit was over.

I packed everything I could carry into duffels and suitcases and drove to Denver to stay with my best friend that very next day. Never went back. Divorced via mailed documents back and forth, never spoke to her again.

Bothered me for years, how could I be so stupid, what did I do wrong, etc. but life is amazing now and I'm so damn happy that's in the past along with her.

Ghosst2505

It was the week of Thanksgiving, 2 weeks after my 40th birthday. I had resigned myself to the thought that she was cheating on me and wanted to find out. She left her iPad and I went through everything.

I opened words with Friends and found the chat where she was talking to the other guy about how she was going to take all my money, the house, the dogs, and my child and move in with him. That sleeping with him was much better.

Thecodedawg

I wanted to sleep with her and she made me sleep on the couch. For a year and a half. I was only certain I was going to leave her after she, well, left me, took our kid, and moved from Texas to Colorado to live romantically with her new girlfriend she met playing Halo 2 online.

I was told I better send child support or she would sue me. I now have custody. She is now back in Texas, married again to a man who is too nice for her but is out of town most of the time, and they have three kids.

I'm also married again, and she's amazing, so I have nothing to complain about anymore.

Chrisrayn

I came home after a 16-hour shift and was met with immediate screaming. One of her cats had sneaked into the attic and slid down between the walls and this was my fault somehow.

The cat was just fine, she had knocked a 5x5 foot hole in the wall and got the dumb cat out hours ago. It was the final straw in a long line of verbal and mental abuses I wasn't going to put up with anymore.

I told that woman right then I wanted a divorce. Good riddance.

BlueChilli

She had affairs and was reckless with her finances. I moved out and filed for separation and gave her a year to shape up. She wanted me back but just couldn't bring herself to do things like "spend more time together" and "stop being gone at night".

A girl who had dropped out of the bridal party reconnected with me after some time had passed. She did not have a romantic interest in me...just a strong conviction that I deserved the truth.

I asked why she dropped out and the poor girl told me that my ex-wife slept with her father. The rest of the conversation was pretty much "I always thought ____ was suspicious, was that because she was sleeping with X?"  

"No that was because of her affair with Y. Or maybe Z." "Oh." "But yeah, she was with X too."No kids. No STDs. Dodged a giant bullet.

Calvaryphoenix2015

When I got up at 6:30 on Saturday morning and finished four of five chores, leaving one for after she woke up. At 9:30 when she woke up, I handed her the paper and started to do the last chore, I was afraid it would wake her up, so I waited to do it.

She looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I finished chore five, I said, "No" and she said, "That was the only thing I wanted you to do". That's when I looked into her angry, sleepy eyes and said, "If you want a divorce just ask me."

KryinSham

My wife and I got married young so when she needed space and time to hang with friends, I had no problem staying at home with our two young kids. Pretty soon she started not coming home until 4,5,6 in the morning, never answering my texts about when she planned to come home, but if I asked if she fed the dog she was quick to answer.

Anyway, looked through her phone one day while she was in the bathroom. Stored under a fake name was a conversation illustrating their "time together."

She was a school bus driver, and the boy was a kid who rode her bus.

Recently had turned 18. Tried to get her fired but they just told her to stop sleeping with the kids on her bus route.

BrayKerrOneNine

When she went out partying and got too drunk to drive home the night before our daughter's first day of preschool. She got a ride home (puked in the ride) and was passed out on the couch in the morning but was unable to give our daughter a ride to school because no vehicle.

I had to call into work and cancel a meeting with my company's CEO to handle the situation at home. My daughter had been excited to go to school for months and that's all she talked about. I retained my custody lawyer that day.

Kjlo5

It wasn't the note; the note she hastily left behind the day she left. it wasn't the emptied bank account or secret debt. it was the realization that, two days prior to her leaving we had a fight.

We fought because she wanted me to take her lingerie shopping. that was it, that was the moment I knew, yeah; to hell with this broad. when I realized she wanted me to take her lingerie shopping, using the playful lure of intercourse as bait, so she could have something new and slinky to wear when she met up with the guy she ran off with.

bigsie

The main point was when she announced she was pregnant and we hadn't slept together in a year. Said she wasn't cheating up until the divorce day when another dude came in the courtroom and I had to sit and listen to a detailed account of how they had been together for the past 3 months and he was the father.

To speed up the process of divorce in SC you can get divorced 90 days after a separation if there's infidelity. Have to wait a year otherwise. I left there in tears. It was also the day before my birthday. So that was awesome.

However, that was 9 years ago and I'm happily with the love of my life now.

Tomnickles

A friend of mine was sick, and his wife was taking a weekend trip with her friends. He couldn't leave his bed, burning with fever. To avoid having to buy on her way out, she packed all the groceries in the house and drove away.

My friend had to fast through his illness because he wasn't strong enough to walk to an ATM and buy something to eat. He realized she cared more about a minimal nuisance (buying on her way out) than his health and well-being.

seremuyo

During the early years of our marriage and really in the whole 10 years she has never worked. I was the sole provider for a family of 4 which I did great without a degree of any kind.

We had $70 in our account to last us 4 more days. She wanted pillows even though she had 20 of them. I am taking stupid decorative pillows, not even one to sleep on.

Needless to say, she flipped out and lost her shit because she couldn't have them. I was literally working 70-80h weeks in corporate management and literally slowly dying from it.

It was these words, you need to make more money, I am so sick of struggling. At this time I was making $80k per year. Pillows and the comment were just the final straw. I knew then that I would be divorcing her.

During a 10-year marriage, she has worked a total of 3 weeks.

Random_Act_of_Kindness

Caught her sexting a co-worker. She said nothing had happened, she was thrill-seeking because I wasn't sexually active enough for her. Decided to take a break because I didn't know what to do.

After about a month of being out of the house, we started talking and decided that we should really try to re-ignite our passion for one another, her swearing on our kids' lives she never actually cheated.

I told her I would be home the next day, but decided to surprise her the night beforehand, and caught her in bed with two other men.

crampedstyl

When she was in the shower, her phone rang, I looked down at it and the screen said David, I started to walk to the shower with her phone so she could answer it but it stopped ringing before I got there.

So I put it on the table and told her that there was a missed call. Now we know a few Davids so when she got out of the shower and returned the call I asked her who it was (meaning which David), and she replied "My sister Michelle"

StuRap

16 years together, 12 married asked for a divorce last week. Nothing earth-shattering like cheating. Just years of growing apart. For 5 years she's had some issues, and couldn't hold a job.

I was/am working 60-80 hrs a week. Pay 100% of the bills, do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, everything. Just stressed beyond breaking. Multiple times I've begged her for help.

On my knees, tears in my begging her to lift a finger, take some stress off me. She just refuses. Can't seem to grasp how much stress I'm under. She's thrown around divorce as a threat.  

I told her I'd never threaten, there'd be a line, she pushes me over it and it would be it. We crossed that line. Mix in years of nearly zero sex, intimacy, nothing. I found myself seriously contemplating cheating…

I knew that was the line. I would never do that but if I wanted it that much then it was over.

Slade_Riprock

Man...getting a piece of paper changed everything. Things were great when we were boyfriend/girlfriend followed by the engagement. Honestly, I loved/love the woman. She is fantastic, and she has remarried as of two weeks ago.

I feel like she expected me to be something completely different once we got married. I don't know. She ended up filing for divorce less than two years after we got married. It hurts to this day.

Doesn't answer your question, but it looks as if I'm late to the party anyway.

206UWhawk

She didn't come home for 9 days. I couldn't find her or get a hold of her. She wasn't with her parents or siblings. Her mom finally reached her on day 4 and found out she was ok after all of us worrying to death. I promptly changed the locks. She came home on day 9 and called me saying she couldn't get into the house.

I informed her she could get into the house on Saturday and be sure to bring help to get all of her stuff out. I was cussed at by her family and told I was a terrible person. We were married for 8 months.

After the fact, her mom told me that she was staying at a guy's apartment she met at work.

Frogzombie

We were having a discussion, not even an argument, with no raised voices or angry words. After that was all wrapped up, she nodded and said "I understand." Then she grabbed the nightstand and chucked it through the closed second-story window of our apartment, the sound of smashed glass and splintered wood ringing out.

No joke, I literally looked at my wrist and tapped it (didn't have on a watch), and said "Yeah, time to go". Grabbed some clothes and went to a buddy's house. Never looked back.

JFrenck

It was during a doctor's appointment. She always wanted me to come with her to the doctor. She'd had some strange stuff going on and had some tests, we were there to get the test results back.

The doctor was uncomfortable, but my wife made it clear she wanted me there, so he gave us the news: she had contracted Herpes. The first time she cheated on me we'd been married for two months.

I forgave her and we moved on. This time was 15 years in. I found out later it wasn't the second third or fourth time. The only saving grace is that I had been celibate for 5 years at that point (her choice), so there was no risk that I had caught it from her.

Throwaway20789