People say that our soulmates will come without looking for them. However, there are just times that we cannot avoid, but we should try to look for someone with whom we can have our good and bad days.
This is why online dating apps exist. A place full of people who are looking for a special someone. For some people, it ends very well and wholesome. However, some end up being a complete nightmare and terror, just like these people!
1. New Circle
I met a girl for a date who turned out to be much better looking than her photos, which is always a nice surprise. The date went well; we had just dinner and a walk, and we said our goodbyes.
The next day, she invited me out to a friend's birthday party downtown as her +1.
I wanted to go, but I had to work the next day and wanted to be able to drink a little since it was a bunch of people I didn't know.
She said, "That's alright, you can park at my house and sleep over." (Cha-ching!) So, of course, I said yes. Fast forward to the middle of the party.
I'm enjoying myself chatting it up with her friends and having a good time, and the next thing I know, she absolutely loses it and storms out of the bar, leaving me there. Drunk. With her friends. I still have no idea why.
One of them told me, "She wants you to go after her!" and I said, "Screw that, it's our second date." which not a single person blamed me for.
I stayed at the party and switched to water while I continued talking with her friends. That was over a year ago, and I still regularly hang out with them. They have since stopped talking to her.
SchpittleSchpattle
2. Dreaming Dad
I met this guy online a few years ago who had some money and was moderately attractive. Keep in mind, I was a young party girl who was more concerned with popping Molly's and having a good time than anything else, and I made that abundantly clear.
A month later, he asked me to have his baby. He thought I was attractive and wanted to breed with me, but wanted to be sure the kid had his blue eyes.
I have hazel/brown eyes. I gave him a brief rundown of genetics work, and he was slightly perturbed. Also had to explain that I consumed way too many substances to make pregnancy even viable.
He said, "But if you get pregnant, maybe it'll help you calm down." Uh, no. Don't ever get pregnant because you think it'll "calm you down." Obviously, cut that off.
Fast forward to today, and I've got myself together, moved a few hundred miles away, and every once in a while, I'll get a text from a random number.
Then he sends me a selfie to remind me. The last time he texted me, I told him that we were not friends and to cease trying to contact me. Cue pouting. Ugh, he's such a weirdo.
poptarts91
3. Hidden Clues
We went out for drinks and then walked around the park, and it was an enjoyable date. I took her home and parked next to her apartment.
She said I shouldn't park there because I'll get towed. I said I only need 3 minutes to walk you to your door.
She said, “Seriously, you should park in visitors since you can stay all night and not get towed.”
I responded that I only needed 3 minutes to walk you to your door. I am not a smart man. I should have listened to her.
Taylosaurus
4. Different Hobby
I went out with a girl to a bar. She was thick in all the right places, had a cute face, and was exactly my type. We had dinner and drinks.
It went really well. We walk out of the bar (she lives down the block; I live 10 minutes away). We say our goodbyes and start kissing pretty heavily (in public, downtown, at 9 pm, I might add).
She asks if I want to go to her place and play darts since her roommates are gone. I said no thanks, I don't like darts. Once I got to my car, I realized that I had goofed.
steiner_math
5. No Next Time
It was not an awful date, but after I told him I wasn't interested in pursuing it further, he insisted that I leave my socks at his place.
He told me that I HAD to get them because "they look like really nice socks, and I'm sure you would want them back." This went on for several days.
Obviously, it was a weird ploy to get me back to his house; I just think he could have thought of something way better. It was winter, so I put my socks and shoes back on before leaving.
thebitchboys
6. Bad Decisions
So last year, after getting out of a horrible sort of relationship, I decided to try something casual and use an online dating app. Got lots of responses, and everything is going well.
The dates mostly lacked luster, and I figured I was just being too picky. So I decided, "The next five people to ask me on a date get a yes!" Bad move.
So the first guy I can go on a date with wants me to drive into the city (45 minutes away) so we would have more stuff to do. Annoying but sorta understandable as I'm in a suburb without many exciting things to do.
We meet, he looks like his pictures, we say hello, and he tells me that we're gonna go play soccer in the park. Cool! I love sports.
On the way, we started talking and asking questions about each other, and I got the vibe that we weren't such a great match.
I love to travel, but he has 0 desire. He only likes obscure sports, and I love them all. But hey, I'm here. Stick with it. The entire time, he talks about how he makes so much money and how embarrassing it is for his friend to only make 60k a year at his dream job.
I make half of that. I would have left considering the love connection, or lack thereof, but I figured I'd be polite until after lunch.
We head out, and we arrive. Dollar taco. Don't get me wrong, you don't have to splurge. But he looked me up and down and said, "You gotta earn your meals first," and gave me a creepy smile.
Nope. I feign a fake phone call and have to leave, but he insists on walking me to my car. We get there, and I try to shrug him off and GTFO, but then...it happens.
He leans in for a kiss. But not just any kiss. Open mouth, tongue out. And as he leans in, his front brushes against my leg. Unfortunately for him, the soccer shorts didn't conceal his secret.
So I did what any caught-off-guard girl would do. I accidentally laughed in his mouth. Oops. I was too awkward to say anything, so I just got in the car and drove away.
Healing_touch
7. Dark Night
Met one charmer after talking for a few weeks. After agreeing to meet at a nearby coffee shop, I show up right on time. Ten minutes later, I got a text from him to "come outside."
It seems sketchy, but there are people about it, so why not? I stand directly in front of him, and he appears out of nowhere in a hoodie.
We walk a bit before he asks me to walk down a darkly-lit street. I say I'm uncomfortable, and he immediately starts waking away.
I assume he's joking and call him only to hear him screaming at me on the other end. He sent me a text a couple of days later, insulting my hair and berating me.
Vulvarine_
8. Cat Obsession
My first date with this guy would have been at his cat's funeral. Luckily, I had the common sense not to take it that far. I had matched with a guy, and we began to hit it off, so I gave him my cell number.
And, of course, he became increasingly strange. He was telling me about his cat and how he was worried about her because she was very ill.
Okay, I understand that having a sick pet is sad. Then he began to tell me about their relationship and how she was always there for him.
Yup, I'm close to my animals, too, and that's fine. But then he began discussing how he doesn't know what to do if his cat dies and how he might not live unless I would be willing to take his cat's place. Um no?
After that, I stopped talking to him. He then started messaging me furiously. He told me how his cat died, and he needed me to talk him through this.
I express my condolences and try to shake him off. He then proceeds to explain how we should meet at his cat's funeral. I don't respond.
I didn't intend to become a skin suit any time soon. His last text to me was an angry ramble describing in graphic detail how it was to EAT HIS CAT'S ASHES!! HE CONSUMED HIS CAT!
mani_mani
9. Pet Sitter
We went on three or four dates, and I (30) started to get feelings for and liked this girl (25). It was a set of good dates, I must say.
On our fourth date, she asked if I could watch her cat while she was moving apartments.
I am not a fan of cats, but I am a nice guy who keeps cats in my home office.
Long story short, she hasn't answered her phone for over a week and only picks up her cat when I send a message saying it's going to the local shelter within 24 hours.
novaanon
10. Weirdest Guy
Matched with this guy. We talked for a little bit, and we didn't really seem to have anything in common, so I didn't plan on going out with him. When I finally did decline, he threw a fit and pestered me, promising a lovely night out and to just "give him a chance."
That should have been my first clue. Now, at this point in my life, I was admittedly very picky about guys I'd go out with, and this guy, as well as my roommates, encouraged me to just go because maybe I was "missing out" on nice people. Fine.
We go to sushi. No attraction. Nothing in common. Horrible conversation. Every time I tried to lead with a subject, he ended it. "What's your favorite restaurant?" "I don't know." "Did/ did you play any sports?" "No."
The conversation was a dead end at every turn. I had a terrible time, but the sushi was good, though. I insisted I pay half the bill, and we walked out.
Then he GRABBED me by the arm aggressively, insisting we go to Starbucks for coffee. I said no, thank you. I just ate. I'm very full. I have a test tomorrow, so whatever. But he literally overpowered me, pulled me in, and sat us down at a table. Now I was freaked out.
We sat awkwardly, silently. I asked, "Are you getting coffee?" He smiled and said, "No, I don't want any". I said, "Okay, so why are we he--" and he made an inappropriate move on me. I was mortified.
I said, "I am going to go home now." I thank god I drove separately. As I got to my car, he asked, "So when can we go out again?" I almost laughed at him, but I was polite because I was scared..
I said, "Well, you're very nice (lie), but we don't have much in common, and I didn't really feel the chemistry, but thanks for showing me a new sushi restaur---"
"You freaking witch. You're just the same as all women. I thought you were different. You dumb bimbo piece of crap. Screw you" I got in my car and left.
When I got home, I received many texts from him and his roommate. From the dating guy, I got a lot of "Screw You," and from the roommate, I got a few angry/concerned ones like "My roommate came home really upset and pissed. What the heck did you do to him? You're a witch."
I literally had no idea people could be like that. It really soured my dating app experience, but I had fun laughing at the texts with my roommates.
Hellooooooo_NURSE
11. Total Psycho
We went on three dates. The next time she asked to see me, I told her I was visiting family and wouldn't be available until the following weekend.
At that moment, she freaked out and sent me a 7-page long text about how I destroyed what could have been a perfect relationship and that she wanted to marry me still if I would just put her first.
She then left me a voicemail of her singing "U Got It Bad" by Usher while crying and saying she loved me over and over.
Two days later, she sent me pictures of her burning a bucket list she had made for us. I was glad I got out of that one unscathed.
imaebyabluth
12. The Gamer Boy
I have had several awkward online dates. The worst was this guy who was 23 and had pretty much grown up on the computer. Usually, I don't mind guys having a gaming hobby.
Any hobby is great as it shows you have a passion for something. But it should be a hobby, and it shouldn't rule your life.
Anyway, I offered to meet him at the uni, and we both attended to grab coffee, but he insisted on going to the local shopping complex despite not driving. No idea how he got there.
He ended up being around 30 minutes late. Ok. I can deal with that.
When we finally meet, he's so nervous he's shaking like a Chihuahua. and barely able to speak. I get it. First dates can be nerve-wracking.
We sit down to sushi, and there is absolute dead silence. I start asking him questions to start the conversation, but all I get is two-word replies...right?
This is getting a bit more frustrating. I even ask him questions about what games he likes (I know a bit about games), but I get condescending answers.
I'm starting to feel more like an interrogator than a date.
Suddenly, he perks up and goes, “Uhh...I have to go. There's a LAN party on." Ok, mate. If you're not feeling comfortable on this date, that's fine. Even though you suggested it and were so confident online, we parted ways.
The kicker comes about 4:30 am the next morning. I'm working an overnight shift at Maccas, and this group of guys came in. Chihuahua boy is in the group and is a whole lot more confident (I get it; it's easier being social with friends).
They walk in talking about "witches" and how "freaking fake gamer witches" ruined their Lan Party (I wish I were making this up). He goes to order.
And doesn't realize it's me. They leave a huge mess behind (I'm talking purposely smearing ice cream on the table and chairs, plus more) because it's the employee's job to clean up.
The next afternoon, I got a message from him asking if I'd like to meet up with him again. I politely said no. He called me a fat witch. Never saw him again.
balexig
13. Unsolicited Messages
She won't stop sending me spicy pictures. For the last three weeks, one is pretty much every day. I get 4 or 5 non-naked ones a day.
I've ignored every one of them. I was drunk and getting over an ex when I went on a date and slept with her.
At her house, luckily, I don't want her to know where I live.
I told her nicely I didn't want to go out, then I told her harshly when it didn't stop. I blocked her on all my socials, but I'm getting naked on one app, so I won't block her on that for a while.
[deleted]
14. Worst Memory
She came over twice. We clearly hit it off, hence the twice. Had a good time. Reached out for time #3, and she replied she was trying to figure out how to get to the hospital.
Apparently, her meds were lost in the mail, and she waited (way) too long to try to track down replacements. She got light-headed, nearly passed out and hit her head twice.
So, because I'm not a jerk, I took her to the emergency room and spent the next 6 hours with her while she got tested and checked out.
Other than the hospital aspect of it, it was still kinda fun. We got to chat a lot, and I did feel a bit of a deeper connection.
We even friended each other on Facebook. And she ended up being ok, health-wise.
Tried to set up a next meeting for real, and she got super flaky. She wouldn't text me back for days. Wouldn't confirm plans.
So, I took the hint and moved on. She was a chaotic 24-year-old (whip-smart but lazy as hell). I'm a 38-year-old dude. It was definitely fun, but it was never gonna last anyway.
I wouldn't have minded a few more fun times, though. Weirdly, we're still friends on Facebook. She likes my posts fairly frequently, too.
rdt156
15. It’s A Trap
So my roommate from last year and I were really into dating apps and the random 18 y/o hookups around our campus. One night, he chats up with this girl, and she decides to come over to our apartment.
She comes over, and they go into his room. I am chilling in our living room, eating popcorn, and watching the NBA. He comes out to open a wine bottle and grab some glasses.
Then comes out again 10 minutes later and says to me, "Dude, she's such a freak, man." So they are doing their thing, and what? Out of the blue, I start hearing them argue.
My roommate then comes out of his room, freaking out, "She ripped my shirt up." I told him to get back in there and kick her out of there.
She then proceeded to lock him down while he was in the living with me. She wouldn't open the door for him and kept telling him it was his fault, and he's gonna pay for it.
15-20 minutes go by, and my roommate is trying to get back into his room. I suggest to him that he just say screw it and call the cops. He actually does it.
A K-9 unit and two other patrol cars come. The cop tells the chick to open the door, but she doesn't believe he's a cop. After a few back-and-forth comments, she opens it.
The cop starts talking to her, and she becomes more aggressive with him. Cop tackles her to the ground, the chick gives him a fake ID, and all hell is released upon us. She was dragged out of our apartment complex screaming and whatnot.
[deleted]
16. Wrong Person
I met this girl online. She was funny. She was cute. She laughed at my jokes. I am a relatively shy guy, so it took me a few days before I finally asked for her number. I couldn't have been more excited when she responded by giving me her number and telling me to ask her to dinner.
We go out to dinner, and it is magical. We went out to sushi and laughed through the entire meal. We ended up sitting at the table for two hours. We talked about everything and anything.
We head back to her apartment to "watch a movie." Thank god I am a shy guy.
We end up only making out for a bit. You'll understand later.
At about 1 am, we head back out to the bars. The date was going so well that she invited me to go out and introduce our friends. I invited my friends. She invited hers.
We start doing shots. Telling each other stories about our past and our families. I live in a large city, but my father is from a tiny little town.
She lives in a large city, but her mother is from a tiny little town. The same town. Long story short. Over shots, I discovered that I kissed my cousin. I have become a kissing cousin.
merasault
17. Pokemon Obsession
My profile picture was of me holding my cat. Except I "photoshopped" in a Pikachu instead of the cat. This thing was most obviously a bad shop. I might as well have printed out the original picture.
Printed out a Pikachu, then taped it over my cat and scanned it. It would have come out looking better.
She insisted that Pokemon were real and wanted to know where I got mine. At first, it was funny, but I thought it was a joke. She went back to it once or twice, and I assumed she was as awkward in conversation as I was, so she went back to something relatively safe.
We are going on a date, and she is pretty excited to go back to my place. I think I'm a stud. We walk in, and my cat comes running to the living room so he can turn his back and make sure I'm aware that he is ignoring me.
I scoop him up, pet him, and introduce him to the girl. Then she asks where my other pet is. I've mostly forgotten about the Pikachu conversation from the other day. She hasn't.
She was very upset that I wouldn't show her Pikachu. Then I showed her the original picture and the terrible Photoshop. Then she called me a liar and left.
Then she came back in, having realized that she had taken the bus to the restaurant. I drove back to my place, where the buses didn't run.
I tell her to hold on and let me get my keys. She threw herself at me, and we made out. Then she calls me a liar again and demands I take her home.
We drove back to her place in silence, where she told me she was mad because I lied to her, then got out of the car. I'm still 99% sure her friends put her up to the whole "Pikachu is real" thing, and she was only in it for making out.
[deleted]
18. Suspicious Lady
Hit me up on a dating app, and we quickly exchanged numbers. After numerous messages and 3 hours had passed, she asked to meet up at a parking lot an hour away.
It was 2 am, and I had nothing else going on for the rest of the night, so I decided I'd give it a shot.
I knew from the app that she wasn't a petite girl by any means, but I figured I'd give it a shot. It wasn't my first "date," but this one was certainly the quickest "first message-to-meetup" I've had.
On my one-hour drive over to the place, she informed me she brought her friend along to make sure I wasn't going to attack or hack up her body. Turned me off a little bit because I assumed he/she would be a major obstacle to my ultimate goal for that night.
So I finally pull into the parking lot, and I see her and her friend leaning up against the hood of their car. I'd be lying if I said she was under 200 pounds in all of her 5'1" frame.
I circled the building a couple of times, trying to talk myself into leaving, but I had just driven an hour at 2 am. I wasn't going to just turn around and head back home, no way.
So I park next to them after just giving myself the pep-talk of my adult life. We exchanged formalities, and I was introduced to her friend. I understand strength in numbers, but the guy wasn't stopping me from doing anything malicious if that was my intent.
He was about 5'6" 130lbs. I'm 6'2, 210 lbs. He pretty much just looks at me and gets back in his car, and the ogre and I make some awkward small talk outside of the car for a little while.
So, I got to the point of the conversation where things started getting "heated." She initially asked me to make out with her in the backseat of her car, where her friend was sitting in the passenger seat. I shot that down real quick.
She wasn't comfortable getting into my car for whatever reason. After she declined my request for my car (she wouldn't have fit anyway, when I was driving an Acura RSX), she invited me back to her brother's house, where she is currently living. Instant red flag for me.
I asked what was wrong with my car. She said she didn't and to stop pressing it (lol). I had to run so many different scenarios in my head before I could give her an answer.
In the parking lot, she started feeling me up, talking dirty in my ear, and doing anything she could to convince me to come home with her.
I was lucky enough to think with my brain instead of my boy part and turned down her offer. She was livid that I could turn her down. I quickly returned to my car and left before she could say anything else.
rektt
19. Don’t Be A Brat
I went on a few dates with this girl, and things went great. We were doing a lot of cool activities like indoor rock climbing, running together, and going out for drinks.
We actually started dating two weeks after I took a day off work to hang out. She wanted to go for a bike ride through the wood trails around her area.
I said I would bring my bike with me. Little did I know the bike needed some maintenance, and I didn't have time to get it done.
I showed up and said sorry that I didn't have the bike and there were loads of other things we could do that day. She just shut down.
She started balling her eyes out, shouting, "It's not fair!" "I want to go on a bike ride." she had a complete mental breakdown, and we ended things that day. I dodged a bullet, but I'm glad I saw it early enough.
ngillis311
20. Too Fast
I went on a date with a girl that asked me about my religious background. I told her I'm an atheist, but I don't dislike religion, and I think it has done a lot of good in society.
But she got very offended and told me that she was looking for a man to have a Christian household to raise children in.
I told her I wasn't looking for a future wife, and she asked, "Well, why would you date someone if you weren't considering marriage!? Is this just a game?" That was a crappy date.
Ernie_Anders
21. Creepy Ways
This actually happened very recently, and I was talking to a girl from a dating app who appeared to be cute. We got along over chat and agreed to meet up.
Where I messed up was meeting her at a coffee shop within walking distance from my apartment. We meet, and I realize she's been very deceitful about her body type in chat and her pictures, and on top of that, things don't really go that great on the date.
But since I walked there, she offered to drive me home, and for some reason, I said yes. I say goodnight, and when she texts me later, I very politely let her know that it wasn't a great fit, etc.
But then, the next night, she showed up unannounced at my home for a "date" which had never been discussed.
It was extremely awkward and uncomfortable.
After that, she kept trying to request a relationship on Facebook, messaging a bunch of my friends, introducing herself as my girlfriend, just really weird crap.
And worst of all, she also messaged a girl I actually am extremely interested in, telling her that I was hers and not to talk to me. That pissed me off because it had the potential to mess things up with the girl I do like.
After all that, I blocked her from everything. Her friend sent me a message about how I broke her heart, and she seems to have disappeared back into the mists of that app… I disabled my account because of it.
YourCurvyGirlfriend
22. Emotion Concerns
After talking with a girl for a week or so, we decided to go out for dinner. Dinner itself lasted about an hour. There were a couple of awkward lapses in conversation, but other than that, I thought we had a good time and a rather normal first time out.
I offered to pay and walked her to her car, and that was the end of the night. We planned to discuss a second dinner over text for next week. About 10 minutes into my drive home, I received a text message from her.
“If you’re not interested in me, that’s fine.” I was taken aback, considering the night had gone well. I responded back, “I’m not sure where this is coming from.
I thought we had a good time.” I will never forget the next thing she said to me. “I’m into you, but you haven’t even used an emoji once when we texted.”
Maybe I’m wrong, but the early 20s flagging non-emoji use as a deal breaker seems odd to me. “I don’t really use a lot of emoji. Didn’t realize that was important.” It was at this point that my feelings began wavering throughout the entire situation.
Her next response made me realize I needed to nope the heck out of this. “If you don’t use an emoji, how am I supposed to know you have emotions? Do you have emotions, or are you some psychopathic guy?”
I responded back, telling her I felt we should cancel our discussion about dinner in the future as this probably wasn’t going to work out. She proceeded to text me rapid fire for 2 hours and call my phone non-stop, leaving voicemails.
I didn’t read the texts or listen to the voicemails, except for the final one in which she told me the date was a huge waste of time and that I was going to die alone. To her credit, I’ve not dated since, so she might be right.
PM_ME_YOUR_FAV_PM
23. Chasing Date
I had been chatting with a very nice girl for a week. I'm very, very busy most of the time with work. I live in San Francisco, and the cost of living is ridiculous, so I have four jobs.
She was getting out of a club party, and her brother was DJing as I was leaving my restaurant job. The stars aligned. So we planned to meet at a bar near both of our houses semi-late into the evening.
She shows up with her sister-in-law as a chaperone, which is completely reasonable and understandable. We're all strangers, after all. But! Her legal sis is hammered and can't find her phone.
So she borrowed my date’s phone to call her husband to check-in. A lawful sibling goes outside to make a phone call. I'm chatting it up with the girl when I notice we haven't seen each other for about ten minutes.
So! We go outside to scope it out. She's nowhere to be seen. This is right by Golden Gate Park, which has a notorious homeless man problem. We do the "find my iPhone" thing. It's pinging and pinging.
The signal is coming from across the street near the bus stop. And all of a sudden, the phone goes dead with about eighty percent battery. Freaking weird.
So I'm in the bushes looking for a phone/lady I just met.
My date and I walk up and down the block looking for sister lady. There's no trace. So, I figure it's time to call the cops, which is super scary. The SFPD show up with their swagger and flashlights, and we find her passed out in a cubby covered in puke with pants unbuttoned.
The paramedics show up to take her to the hospital. I'm the one who calls the husband because my date is understandably flipping out. The Brother of my date shows up at the scene and rides in the ambulance with twisted sister while I Uber myself and my date to the ER.
It turns out she had been roofied at the club. The kit came back negative, thank god. However! While I'm sitting in the waiting room with my sweet online app love, a crackhead loses his mind and starts fighting with security.
They locked the room down and put me and my date inside an ER exam room. We talked about the upcoming DC Cinematic Universe. My date’s sister gets out of the hospital, and I walk home at 5 am. Rad date.
Detroit_debauchery
24. Crazy Past
I went on a date with this girl.... It went really well, and I ended up spending the night at her house. The next morning, I walk out to my truck, get to the driver's side door, and think to myself that it seems lower than normal.
I take a step back and discover that both tires on the driver's side have been slashed. I walk back to her front door in total dismay and tell her what happened.
She gets this concerned look on her face and tells me about her crazy ex and how she thought he was going to leave her alone. Clearly, that wasn't the case.
She ended up getting a restraining order against him, and I got new tires. She was a hedge fund executive, so I didn't feel too bad about her buying the tires.
McBeardyson
25. Completely Ignored
Mine happened yesterday. I was messaging this girl, and we decided to meet, but she kept putting it off because she had no money and was too "old-fashioned" to let me pay.
I finally persuaded her, and we decided on lunch. She was 15 minutes late despite confirming the time twice and working a block from the place.
What's more, she brought two of her coworkers.
I was standing out front waiting on her, and she walked past me, just saying, "Hey." She then gets in line and just stares at her phone while I'm trying to get her to notice me.
I eventually text her from 5 feet away, but she ignores both me and my text. They got their food and sat down, and I just left.
She responds to my text an hour later, saying, "Lol, I said hi to you." I'm just ignoring her. She is too weird and also significantly heavier than her profile suggested.
[deleted]
26. Old Admirer
I had a fat family friend who used to stalk me and call me over 20 times a day back in high school. When I used an app, I didn't realize that we both adopted different names in order to protect our identities.
She ended up knowing it was me, while I didn't know it was her.
She had purposely taken photos at special angles to appear thin, and she even used way more makeup and Photoshop than I was accustomed to, so I thought she was someone new.
I decided to give it a shot. I realized instantly that this was my old stalker. Thankfully, I always scope out a place without just marching in. When I saw it was her, I left so fast.
[deleted]
27. No Good
I should have taken a clue when he was insistent and annoyed that I didn't comply with picking him up to go to a bar when we first met.
When I arrived, he immediately told me he wasn't feeling well and had to take pepto bismal, so if he's in the bathroom for a long time, that's why.
Then, he went on about how insecure he was, which is why he wanted me to pick him up. He hates waiting for girls at the locales. This continued with his recent weight gain, how unsexy he feels, and how he has no clothes that fit him.
Mixed in with this, he kept asking where I parked. I lied. He also made crude comments about my body and made out with me whenever it would fit in, as if he were talking about me to his buddies, not to me.
Then, he tried to convince me that fresh-cut grass smells the same as any decomposing organism. So, if he left a body in his trunk, it would smell like that at first. He finally sealed the deal by telling three stories of bad online dates.
[deleted]
28. Confusing Names
Not me, but a friend, honest! He arranged to go on a date with a girl he met on an online dating app, so they arranged to meet in the center of town.
So he's stood there in a busy part of town waiting next to shops and restaurants when a girl approaches him and says, "Hey, are you Chris?"
"Yes," he replies as that was actually his name, "You must be my date?" So they walk off and start chatting, and he keeps thinking to himself, 'She looks nothing like her picture, not in a bad way, but just different.'
But being too polite, he says nothing. They continue walking, and when he asks where she'd like to go for drinks, she says, "I thought we said we were going to watch 'such and such' band."
He stops and asks her name. It turns out she wasn't his date, but another girl who was meant to meet another guy called Chris in pretty much the same spot in town.
They went back, and the other guy was there waiting. My friend's actual date was also there waiting. It was super weird but kinda funny.
millward19
29. Circling Around
Talked to this girl for a little while. Decided to meet up in the city between us to go see a movie. My car was getting work done on it, so my friend dropped me off, and the girl and I decided she would drive me back to my dorm at college.
And we would spend the night together. I get there a little early and buy the tickets. She shows up just before showtime, and before she comes up, she calls me to tell me she's here and says, "I think I can park here... I'm just gonna park here."
Anyway, meet her. She's a little bigger than her pictures, but not a dealbreaker. Cue an awkward hug, then go in to see the movie.
The whole time, I'm trying not to be superimposing, so when she keeps casually shifting towards me, I'm naïvely shifting away until I'm squished against the side of my seat as she tries to get close to me.
Watch the movie. 9/10 would recommend. We come outside laughing about it. And her car isn't where she parked it. Now, she calls her parents (she lived at home at the time), and I find out they don't know she's on this date and think she's at a music show here in the city.
She tells them her car got towed, and the two of us walk 4 miles through the sketchy part of the city at 10 pm to the lot where her car is. She pays a $250 fine and gets her car back.
We decided to stick to our plan, and I got in the car with her. Smooth sailing from here on out, right? Wrong. We get back to my dorm now, around 1 am.
What I haven't told you is that up to this point, I was a true virgin and never even kissed a girl. This is actually my first date. So I awkwardly put on Comedy Central (we both liked Futurama), and at some point, we made out.
dragonk30
30. Her Beliefs
I was out in LA for two weeks, and being from the East Coast, I didn't give online dating apps a lot of hope. However, after about 30 minutes of swiping, I was at the five matches – – that's more than I would normally get in a week at home.
So then I start getting a little selective, and I pick the girl with the biggest, you know. The conversation was good, not particularly spicy, but flirty enough. We meet up for ice cream, and she's absolutely stunning, even better than she looks in her pictures.
After about an hour of chatting and wandering around, I find a nice park bench. I go in for the kiss, and she stops me -- "I'm a devout Catholic. I don't kiss guys on the first date. "
Fine, I play it cool and am like, whatever, I'll just enjoy myself.
So I asked her to show me around because this is her neighborhood, and she pointed out the cathedral she goes to every day.
No, I like church architecture, so I asked if we could go inside, and she said, "Sure! It's open." We walk in common; it's absolutely beautiful inside – – and I'm really walking around, just impressed with the architecture and the design.
She says, "I've never seen somebody so passionate about church architecture. That's really sexy!" and she's got that wild look in her eye, you know the one.
So we find a kind of secluded little alcove, and I start kissing her, and she really gets into it, like pushing me up against one of the little altar things, and is really going down on me – – honestly, I get a little scared. All in all, things didn’t work out.
[deleted]
31. Cartoonized Date
I took this nice girl out on a date from an online dating app. She arrives at my place, and I cook her dinner (Extremely quick, I know), and we have some wine.
Let me preface this with the fact that this is her SECOND time in her LIFE drinking alcohol. She just turned 21 (I'm 25). So, I obviously take her to my favorite bar down the street.
Anyway, the whole night, she's talking about the movie Frozen. How much she loves it. She loves the music, the characters...everything.
This chick just really digs Frozen. I play along for a bit and try to get some other information from her, but all she wants to talk about is Frozen.
I haven't seen it. Well, this was a shocker to her.
She grabbed my arm and literally said, “Get in the car. We're going to watch Frozen.” Sigh.
Okay, I guess we're going back to my house to watch Frozen. So here I am at 1:30 AM, torrenting Frozen on my computer so she and I can watch this movie.
I finally got it downloaded, and what knows, she's stoked! She starts singing. WORD FOR WORD...every fricken lyric possible in the movie. She is like, "OH, HERE IT IS, MY FAVORITE PART...WATCH, WATCH, WATCH."
"LET IT GOOOOOO LET IT GOOO"...and she keeps singing. 2:30 AM, I roll over and go to sleep. Never talk to her again. Screw my life. Now I'm dating a 24-year-old nurse from the same app who is way outta my league, though.
slashduel
32. The Foodie
We (mid-20s) met up at an old spaghetti factory on a day in the fall. I had noticed right away that she did not look like her picture at all and was probably 30lbs+ from when that pic was taken.
It was not the worst thing in the world, though, so we carried on and had a pleasant, light conversation about ourselves at the table.
I had the lasagna (the cheese was insanely stringy and hard to maintain), and she had the spaghetti and meatballs. Laughs and smiles were heard, but there was not really much romance. After the meal, we went to the local animal shelter (her idea) to pet the dogs and kitties.
Once we were done there, I gave her a ride home because she didn't own a car. On the way home, we were close to her house when this horrid odor consumed the car.
At first, I thought it might be that sewage smell from the city, but it came out of nowhere too abruptly to be that. The smell was coming from inside the car! She let a fart out, and there was no going back.
I see her frantically trying to roll down the window, but something I should've mentioned earlier is that the front windows in my jeep stopped working months ago.
So there we were, basking in the immensely potent pasta-infused fart cloud, trying to politely act like this isn't happening. Needless to say, I picked up the pace and dropped her off.
She informed me that she would invite me in, but she lived with her mother and didn't think I'd be ready for that yet. I wasn't ready for a lot of things that night.
[deleted]
33. Wrong Swipe
Swiped right for a real cutie. We have a couple of nice dates, nothing out of the ordinary. On the third date, we were hanging out in a park, and she said that she used to be a dancer in the big city of our state.
It's been a while since I have actually enjoyed hanging out with someone, so I brush it off as something she did a while back, and that has nothing to do with her now.
Things progressed, and we made out, and she can move her body extremely well. I used contraceptives. She says she is on the pill, and it's all great.
A week later, she comes over and says she is pregnant and wants to keep the baby.
I was raised to be a good man and supported her decision.
She broke up with me three weeks later. It's been one year since that conversation, and I have been the father of a beautiful three-month-old girl.
Her mother and I are civil but nothing more. I give her child support and pick up my daughter a couple of nights a week after work.
We only talk about our child together and nothing more. It's been a weird year and an even weirder swipe. I always think about where my life would be if I would have swiped right.
JonnyUtah08
34. Random Burst Out
This one just happened a couple of weeks ago. I'm still completely baffled by what happened. We met at a bar. The conversation was a bit forced, but things were going relatively well.
We were talking about rent in the city, and I mentioned how I missed the days of paying $300 a month when I lived in Philadelphia.
She insinuated that I must have lived in a crap hole and asked why I didn't live somewhere nicer. I explained that I wanted to save money as I had a bad part-time job, and my parents weren't able to help out too much.
She then BLOWS UP ON ME: "WHY THE HECK ARE YOU DEFENDING YOURSELF TO ME? WHY DOES MY OPINION MATTER? WHY DO YOU EVEN GIVE A DARN WHAT I THINK?"
I didn't know what to say. I literally told her, "I don't know what to say." At this point, she began pretending that I wasn't there.
At the same time, she started acting drunk (she only had half a glass of wine) and was yelling nonsense at the bartender, telling him how cute he was and stuff like that.
She then started throwing little cocktail straws at him in some sort of bizarre attempt to flirt with him/make me feel awkward.
She was creating such a scene that other people at the bar stared. Thankfully, she decided that she wanted to go home and finally addressed me for the first time in about 10 minutes and said, "It was nice meeting you, I guess."
As soon as she went through the door, I loudly exclaimed, "Worst date ever," and the people around me started laughing and asking me questions.
The bartender felt so bad he even covered our tab, which was awesome of him. I did end up talking to the girl sitting next to me for the next couple of hours and got her number, though, so the evening was salvaged.
themadcaner
35. Stressed Out
Not me, but my university roommate had a horrible experience. So T is a handsome devil, I must say, a blond Hugh Laurie-looking man who makes the ladies swoon. But for some reason, he only attracts the crazy ones.
Anyway, he gets a great conversation going on with this stunning Italian girl of questionable age. She's throwing a party and is inviting him. Like any reasonable, red-blooded man, he's all "Heck yeah! "
So he gets there, and it's a sob fest. She found out that her ex released a bunch of pics of her or some crap, and she's slamming Sailor Jerry like there's no tomorrow.
So when T gets up to leave, she starts talking bad, saying that he's skipping out on their date early and that he should be a real man and stay till the job is done.
T, being an upstanding mensch, says screw it. Stays, gets hammered, and chats with everyone else but her. Fast forward. The guests are gone, and T has passed out. Out comes the girl, wearing barely anything.
She wakes him up by saying, "I'm sorry I had to do this to you." She immediately starts seizing and foaming at the mouth. She ended up in the emergency room and turned out fine.
[deleted]
36. Wildest Night
So it's my Birthday. I'm in the city where all my friends meet up with me at a friend's, and then we go out. At the same time, I'm at my friend's house, having a couple of beers and waiting for people to start showing up. I'm swiping. I get a match that's not too far away, and we start talking.
I tell her it's my birthday, and one thing leads to another, and she is now heading over. She's a lot of fun, my friends like her, and she’s cute JACKPOT!!..
Wait... now she's drinking and slowly turning into a different person.
All of a sudden, now she's losing her mind in a heated discussion with my friends about serious stuff.
I drink more. She drinks a little less, and by the end of the night, I’m back at her place in a drunken slur. I wake up at her apartment and go to the living room to get water; all I can see is memorabilia EVERYWHERE.
Books on the coffee table, DVDs, a poster! So, being that this chick is smaller than me, I start laughing and taking pictures and sending them to all of my friends.
AndyC_een
37. Twisted Fate
I met a girl on an app in my local college area, and after chatting back and forth, it was decided that we would meet up for lunch. Let's call her R. During lunch, it was apparent that we were not that similar or interested in each other. I left, and she left.
A few weeks later, a good female friend decided to go out for drinks and dinner. As we entered the restaurant, I really needed to use the restroom, so I asked my friend to put our names in while I went.
As I return, lo and behold, my date sits next to R in the waiting area.
I awkwardly squeeze between my date and the wall, trying to avoid sitting next to R. We end up being seated pretty quickly, and dinner goes great.
After two beers, I decided to tell my date about the girl "R" because I think it is pretty funny. I must have jinxed myself because, around the time of our 4th beer in R, her date was getting seated next to us.
I mean, 2 feet away from us. My date cannot stop laughing. From the conversation, it is obvious that they are on a first date. I pick up the check, and we leave. The funniest part is R must have waited for her date for an hour.
dfanny
38. Wrong From The Start
I went on one date. I was 20 at the time. At the time, Just got out of a five-year high school relationship where I learned at the end she had been cheating on me since after the 2ND year.
My confidence dropped heavily, and I was working at the time. Turns out this girl had a fake photo and met me at the mall for dinner and a movie.
Being polite, but she was definitely not my type, I went and took her out on a date. She said she lived 5 minutes away, so I would drive her home afterward.
Dinner unexpectedly cost a little under 100$, and she didn't bring any money. Went to the movies because the tickets were bought already.
After a late night where she kept talking about her ex and how crazy he was, I drove her home, figuring out it was an hour's drive.
After that, I was pretty sore about the app, not saying all girls on that app are like that, but it definitely ruined my experience.
Stityz
39. Fake Profile
I matched with this cute girl, and we hit it off immediately. She was smart and funny, and we also had similar tastes in books and movies.
Her pictures suggested she was a little chubby, but I don't judge. A week went by until we decided to meet. I had planned the perfect evening, and I was so excited.
She turned out to be HUGE. GINORMOUS. She was at least four sizes above what she was in her pictures. She heaved and lumbered towards me, with great difficulty, I could tell.
I kept the date short, bought her a beer, and offered to drop her off at home. Oh yeah, and she wasn't 22 (my age) like it said on her profile. She was 39.
v1000
40. Big Deal
So, I was diagnosed with testicular cancer in Nov 2013. After surgery, I was given the cancer-free, and feeling like a million bucks and ready to move on with my life, I joined an online dating app.
I got matched with this cute girl who worked for the local major league sports team, has a great sense of humor, likes to drink beer, and knows you all the things guys look for in a girl. We talked for a few days and decided to meet up.
This time, I found out my cancer had come back, and I needed to start chemo within weeks. I told her right away and said if she wanted to back out now, I wouldn't take it personally (I wouldn't).
She said there was no need for that, what type of person she would be, etc. So we continue dating. I’m starting to fall for her. About two weeks into treatment, she disappears.
She stopped returning my texts and calling me (she would call me once daily to see how I was doing).
I continue chemo for the next three months, finish treatment, and pretty much forget about this girl (thank you, chemo brain).
One month after I finished chemo, I got cancer-free and started to feel normal again. She calls me out of nowhere. She wants to meet for coffee. I say sure, curious to see what she has to say. We meet up the next day and exchange pleasantries. She asked how the treatment was, etc.
I then ask her why she disappeared, and she starts tearing up and says, "I'm sorry. I thought I could do it, but I just couldn't stay with someone who is damaged goods, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I never told you."
These words are seared into my mind. She proceeded to tell me it wasn't me but my disease cause, you know, that will make me feel better.
I got up, looked at her, smirked, and left without saying a word. It's been a year since that conversation happened, and I haven't gotten over it.
bred84
41. The Professional
My brother actually met his wife on a dating app, so I thought I'd give it a try. Met this gorgeous guy who had just moved into town.
He was head of an ER at a local hospital. Good looking and good job. Why is this guy single? I now know. After a fantastic date, he took me home.
On the way, he lets out the worst-smelling fart I have ever experienced. I am not a prude girl, a fart, not a big deal. It was what happened immediately afterward that got me.
He proceeded to roll up and lock the windows to trap me in the awful smell of his self-proclaimed 'protein farts' and started snap-chatting my reaction. Needless to say, it didn't work out.
TheRealRedditWife
42. Uninvited Guest
My friend met a girl on a dating app while in Paris for the weekend. They kept messaging after he returned home to Amsterdam. Weeks later, his birthday is coming up, and she asks for his address so she can send a birthday card.
She freaking showed up at his door on his birthday. She texted him, saying she was outside, but he was in a meeting at work and couldn't respond for 2 hours.
He hoped she was joking, obviously, but said it was the longest 2 hours of his life. Yep, she was there. Luckily, he had a business trip the next day.
He had an excuse to ask her to leave, but not before she tagged along to dinner with his family and a party thrown by his friends.
[deleted]
43. Overboard Confidence
The weirdest one for me goes as follows. I met an attractive little redhead on a dating app (a HUGE weakness for redheads), and we were talking for a few weeks.
She seemed really cool. We both played basketball and loved the same music- all that good stuff. She asked me to meet up for a date over the weekend, and I was SUPER down for previous reasons.
I show up at the bar and wait in the woods for her for a bit before she shows up.
When she does show, there was another dude with her (he was equally as confused as I).
She proceeded to tell us that she liked us both, and this date was about us competing for her affection. She wanted a man who was willing to fight for her.
Well, we both kinda said screw that and left her there to be alone with her narcissism. He was actually a pretty cool dude, and I and I have hung out a few times since then.
DKnightJCL24
44. Going Out
Valentine's Day this year, I get a date. First one ever. She seemed nice, so I agreed to drive literally an hour to pick her up and take her to a really highly regarded local restaurant that wasn't too expensive. We were going to get sushi there, so it was only around $15 a person.
Anyway, I picked her up in the -5-degree weather, and we hit it off on the way to the restaurant, just making small talk. So we arrived, and the staff was in noticeably classier attire than usual.
The lights were lower, and fresh flowers were on the tables. I figured it was just for the occasion, so we sat down, where, mouth agape, I saw the $ 50-a-plate price tag.
Two weeks' reservation had just gone, and I had $80 in my bank account. I had to tell her straight up that I had no idea it was that expensive that night and that I couldn't afford it.
Back through the icy parking lot to my car, without a word. Then we both bust out laughing at the same time, and I figure, right, she has a good sense of humor, and I'm clear.
We found a hole-in-the-wall little sushi place, closed the place down, and dropped her off without ever hearing another word. I guess I was not clear about it.
[deleted]
45. Time Check
I went on a date last week with a girl who was nice, smart, and funny. That's pretty much all I ask for (also hot). Well, I asked for a second date, and she said she would love to. I set one up for Wednesday, and it was all going nice and swell.
Midweek, her text responses were starting to taper off, and I fought off my paranoia to give her the benefit of the doubt.
This morning, I got a text from her with a picture of a brutally swollen ankle, explaining how she hurt it during her morning workout and can't come out tonight.
This story mostly adds up because I know she works out in the mornings. However, I smelled a rat. Due to my paranoid nature, I remembered that she had an Android.
Androids automatically name their pictures with a time stamp showing when they were taken.
Being the savvy, young tech billionaire that I am, I downloaded the pic and took a look at the title. August 31st, 2013. Well, well, well.
I contemplated my response for a while and talked it over with people at work (my job is like the Wolf of Wall Street if no one made any money).
I decided on "Lol timestamp" as my response. She sent a confused selfie, then a hyper-defensive rant about how she worked out this morning and didn't need to explain herself to me. I responded, " The image title is a timestamp."
The airwaves have been dead since.
Spodayy