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Conservatives Demand Secession Over Potato Head Toy

Conservatives Demand Secession Over Potato Head Toy

Ben Shapiro says female arousal is scary

The Hasbro toy company announced on Thursday that it is rebranding the iconic Mister Potato Head, now in its 68th year, as gender-neutral and changing the name to Potato Head.

Ben Shapiro says female arousal is scary
Photo by Michael S. Schwartz via Getty Images

“It’s a potato,” said Ali Mierzejewski, editor in chief at toy review site The Toy Insider. “But kids like to see themselves in the toys they are playing with.”

Hasbro said in a statement:

Looking ahead to 2021, Hasbro is making sure all feel welcome in the Potato Head world by officially dropping the ‘Mr.’ from the Mr. Potato Head brand name. The new branding and logo bring a fresh look with a whimsical color palette and will introduce a new product, including Create Your Own Potato Head Family, to appeal to the modern consumer.

The Create Your Own Potato Head Family, launching this Fall, is a celebration of the many faces of families, allowing kids to imagine and create their own Potato Head family with 2 large potato bodies, 1 small potato body, and 42 accessories, their potato family can have up to 2 parents, and a baby.

This has sparked an absolute orgy of outrage among conservatives on Twitter.

Right-wing provocateur and professional bigot Ben Shapiro, for example, had an epic meltdown.

“Bigotry ANNIHILATED,” Shapiro exclaimed.

“Now any child, of any gender, can look at a Potato Head and dream of growing up to be a plastic spheroid with interchangeable parts,” Shapiro said. “Mrs. Potato Head has also been killed off. She will be replaced by an asexual can of Pringles.”

“Society is not truly free or safe until all Potato Heads can use the planter of their choice,” he wrote. “What if Potato Head identifies as a squash though?”

“Barbie must be renamed something more gender-neutral. This is imperative.”

YouTube conspiracy theorist Mark Dice called for breaking up the United States over a plastic spud.

“The insanity NEVER ends. Mr. Potato Head has been canceled!” he tweeted.

“It’s time for Republican states to secede,” Dice added.

CNN’s Piers Morgan said that now is not the right time to be inclusive.

“Imagine thinking in the middle of a global pandemic: ‘What’s really important is dropping the ‘Mr’ from Mr. Potato Head & making him gender-neutral in case we upset a few wokies,'” Morgan whined.

And then there was this boneheaded “well, what happens if” reaction from California Republican and MAGA Congressional candidate Chris Bish, who intends to primary House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) to avenge former President Donald Trump’s election loss.

“Mr. Potato Head has now been made gender-neutral and will be called ‘Potato Head’ from here on out,” tweeted Bish. “Will we be digitally editing James Brown’s, ‘It’s A Man’s World’ next to say ‘It’s A Gender Neutral World’?”

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