Lindsey Graham can let a lot of things slip, like Donald Trump fully compromising him on a golf course or a bunch of rioters trying to overthrow the government during an insurrection. But don’t you dare mess with his chicken sandwiches.
Graham has made a public vow to back Chick-Fil-A, the oddly named Southern fast-food chain that claims to make the most beloved fried chicken sandwich in the country (although Popeye’s would beg to differ), and which is closed on Sundays because Jesus. The company has been plagued by controversy and protests for years thanks to its CEO’s support of anti-LGBTQIA candidates and donations to Christian groups which have also openly opposed the gay community.A group of students at Notre Dame, one of the country’s most elite private Catholic universities, is protesting the opening of a Chick-Fil-A on campus and wrote a letter to CEO Dan Cathy. The letter writers, Tilly Keeven-Glascock and Joey Jegier accused Chick-fil-A of donating millions to ‘queerphobic groups,’ which they said include the nonprofit Fellowship of Christian Athletes. They also objected to owner Dan Cathy’s personal donations to organizations like the National Christian Charitable Foundation, which they alleged “funds hate groups.”
Lindsey Graham won’t defend American democracy but he will defend Chick-fil-A.
— Tim Hannan (@TimHannan) July 15, 2021
This apparently was just too much for Lindsey “Anybody Know Where Madison Cawthorn’s At?” Graham, who rose up out of the bottom of the whiskey bottle where he’s been living since 2016 to take up for the Chicken Man. Graham displayed more passion for an establishment where your food is handed to you through a window than he displayed for American democracy after Congress reconvened in the wee hours of January 7th to finish what they’d started that morning.
Lindsey Graham says he'll "go to war" to protect the homophobic Chick-fil-A. Other things Lindsey will die defending:
1) To stop neighborhood kids from rearranging the cushions on his porch swing
2) Allowing Brett Kavanaugh to chug beer during SCOTUS sessions
3) His geraniums pic.twitter.com/Ou3aT3AFNV
— Paul Rudnick (@PaulRudnickNY) July 15, 2021
A sitting Republican Senator tweeted this where other people could read it and he hasn’t deleted it. Graham tweeted no such thing for Officer Brian Sicknick. I don’t recall him ever claiming to have Officer Michael Fanone’s back. But hey, Jesus Chicken is worth a Twitter thread, okay Linds.
I want everyone in South Carolina and across America to know I have Chick fil-A’s back.
I hope we don’t have to, but I will go to war for the principles Chick fil-A stands for.
God bless Chick fil-A!
— Lindsey Graham (@LindseyGrahamSC) July 14, 2021
Stephen Colbert, who is famously devoutly Catholic himself while also being capable of still living in reality, spent some time on his late-night show to give Lindsey the kind of tongue lashing he’s been getting dragged for (Warning: ew.)
Lindsey Graham thinking about having him some Madison Cawthorn for dinner 😏 https://t.co/casSqW66aN
— T👻r👻 D🐈⬛bl💀n 🎃🧙🏻♀️ (@taradublinrocks) July 14, 2021
“Lindsey Graham isn’t the first person will to go to war over fast food,” the “Late Show” segment explained. It then reimagined clips from the movies Independence Day, Braveheart, and Gladiator. Check it out, below.
— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) July 16, 2021