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[COMMENTARY] Unemployed Loser Scott Baio Trolls Twitter Users

By now it’s a pretty tired joke to talk about the has-beens who inexplicably flock to Donald Trump. Once you start rattling off the names, it sounds like you’re talking about a lost episode ofΒ Battle of the Network Stars from 1983 or something. Kirstie Alley. Kevin Sorbo. James Woods. Antonio Sabato, Jr. Stephen Baldwin. Stacey Dash. Dean Cain. The lead singer of Trapt (it’s okay, you don’t have to know who he is, and you’re better off for it).

But the biggest walking punchline of them all has to be Scott Baio, who has been resting on the dual laurels of “Happy Days” and “Charles in Charge” since the late 80s. The Artist Formerly Known As Chachi has amassed a Twitter following who have dubbed themselves “Scott Baio’s Army” (no, really) and will happily troll anyone who dare besmirch the Arcola legacy by making any jokes at his expense or daring to tweet him any actual facts he doesn’t like. Baio has the well-earned rep of being a complete snowflake, blocking basically everyone who doesn’t devote themselves to his dubious fame. His wife, Renee, also takes up his causes, often just using his words as her own, because she’s a typical subjugated blonde Lady MAGAt who’s all filler (literally, Google the woman) and very little else. Shocker-not-shocker: I’m also blocked by Mrs Baio, who’s quick to insta-block anyone who doesn’t coo over her gross husband like she does, gag me.

Full disclosure: I loved Scott Baio when I was in grade school. I kept scrapbooks of pictures I’d carefully torn out from Tiger Beat and 16 Magazines. My walls were plastered with posters. No one could speak to me when “Happy Days” was on. It was that bad. But then I grew out of that crush and moved on in the way fickle young girls do. Then he reappeared on VH1 in a reality show called “Scott Baio is 45…and Single”, which is when I found out that not only was Scott Baio 45 and single, he was a die-hard Republican with a taste for very young pretty blond girls who did not always consent to have sex with him. So, BYE SCOTT, as far as I was concerned.

But then in 2016, Scott “I’ve Never Met a Pair of Fake Boobs I Didn’t Make an Abhorrent Comment About” Baio started using Twitter to promote Donald Trump, which was just too much for me. Like, can’t you just be a terrible person in private, you unemployed hack? He belonged on a shitty golf course with Trump, far far away from real politics. So I fearlessly went there–and keep in mind that in June of 2016 I was not yet Verified, and I think back then I had around 8K followers. Any Baio tag gets his attention though, as you’ll see when you click through, because he’s an easily triggered snowflake.

By the way, Shaun Cassidy and I had a funny little DM exchange after all that, because Shaun Cassidy is still way cooler than Scott Baio will ever be.

Now that I’m blocked, I can’t see his tweets, which is mostly a blessing. But on Wednesday night, Scott Baio did something I’ve never seen an alleged celebrity do. While I know he’s so delicate that he has to weakly respond to any criticism that might brush against his thin skin, I never knew he was so sick that he’d devote time to not just trolling a regular person, but going back through their timelines and then share tweets to further dogwhistle his Army into action. Normally I wouldn’t know about such petty juvenile ridiculousness when clearly more important things are going on in the world, but he went to an ugly place and he deserves to lose his account over it.

Here’s what set off the big baby, who posted a stupid meme about farmers and Democrats, because he’s stupid.

Yes, really. Those pesky facts are just so mean, waaaaah!

Baio then quote tweeted my friend Gem, and then the Army really started trolling her.

If you’ve never experienced a mass swarm from the bots, it’s a waste of time that is occasionally entertaining, but is mostly annoying and makes you feel like you’re stuck on a 3rd grade field trip to a garbage dump. Baio also gets super defensive about how much he plays golf–you’d think a Trumper with no job would be able to brag better, but he’s so bad at Twitter that every tweet just sounds like he’s crying through his hurt fee-fees.

 

Gem shared the tweets in a DM room we’re in together, and since it was that shitbag I extra couldn’t resist jumping in. Nobody messes with my ReSisters, and so I just went into the thread to defend her since I couldn’t go after him directly, using a meme I’d seen on Twitter previously that made me laugh so much, I keep it on my phone to share whenever anyone needs Baio backup.

Now, if he’s defensive about the golf stuff, guess what happens when you accuse him of being a racist? Hoo boy, the trolls sure don’t like that, and they come for you with all they’ve got. Which is a lot of nothing, sometimes painfully so.

Yes, someone really tweeted that. And they left it up just long enough to get a nice little ratio before they deleted it. Receipts are forever, geniuses.

So anyway, remember how the dumb unemployed former Playboy Mansion regular blocked me four and half years ago, which means he can’t see my tweets? One of the devotedΒ  footsoldiers in the Baio Bot Army sent him a screenshot of my tweet, and then he tweeted me from behind a block, which is against Twitter’s Terms of Service.

Yes, he tagged Paramount Pictures, as if their legal department is going to drop everything to prosecute someone over a meme in the middle of a pandemic. I guess Scott Baio assumes since he has no life, neither does anyone at Paramount.

Oh, and then he made his equally awful brother go after me, because Scott Baio is a spineless douchebag and Steven Baio lives on nepotism fumes or something.

Big deal, you’re thinking. So Scott Baio sucks, everyone knows this, but why is are you making it into a thing? Let him be a miserable has-been loser whining about losing, what do you care? Rise above the grade school mentality, girl! And yes, you’re so completely right to think that. I think that myself. I enjoy forgetting Scott Baio exists so much, and would love to continue to ignore this fact.

Except Scott Baio took the time to look through my friend Gem’s older tweets, not just the tweets she sent him. Gem is a single mom and a tough cookie, and Scott Baio, who knows nothing of her life or her struggles, decided to use a tweet about her sobriety to shame her.

Yes, really.

Scott Baio is a subhuman piece of shit. You want to be a dick about politics, fine. We’re used to that, and you’re such a moron that it’s so easy to own you. But you don’t mock a person’s sobriety. SCOTTY, DON’T!

So if you’re not blocked by Scott Baio yet, and you’re okay with getting blocked, I encourage you to use the least amount of creativity possible–seriously, there’s no need to even try to be clever with him since he’s dumber than the tiny holes he knocks his little balls into (heh, I said little balls, and yes the pun is very much intended)–and drop him a tweet telling him he’s a giant racist rapist loser. You’ll most likely be blocked in seconds, and you’ll feel so good about it.

Oh, and be sure to use this meme when you do, because he really doesn’t like it.

 



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