Now Reading
[COMMENTARY] Simon & Schuster Gives Pardoned Criminal Paul Manafort A Book Deal As Part of the Republican Publishing Racket

[COMMENTARY] Simon & Schuster Gives Pardoned Criminal Paul Manafort A Book Deal As Part of the Republican Publishing Racket

I’ve written before about Simon & Schuster essentially being a money-laundering front for the RNC, but allow me to sum up: a pile of ghostwritten crap gets some Republican’s name slapped on it, the RNC buys up a ton of copies to give out as swag and falsely inflate the titles to the top of the New York Times bestseller list, and no one ever really reads them, they just end up on bookshelves next to the Grisham hardback bought by the pound at Costco.

When the entire Trump Crime Syndicate is also represented by a once-respected publishing house, there should be so many questions asked. Donald Trump, Junior, is not an AUTHOR, he’s a walking coke mirror full of nepotism. I can only hope they regularly feed and water their paddock full of ghostwriters, and I also hope their food and water are laced with really great psychotropics.

Photo by Yana Paskova/Getty Images

That is a picture of Paul Manafort literally in handcuffs, because he committed crimes against the United States and the only reason he got pardoned is because Donald Trump was scared he’d talk. I don’t have a picture even remotely close to this, so I guess I’ll never get a book deal.

Look, it’s bad enough to be a struggling writer with a really cool non-political novel you’ve been trying to get noticed forever since you finished writing it during quarantine in May 2020 (okay, perhaps I’m getting oddly specific), but it’s even more insulting when these mooks who mangle the English language every single day on Twitter and have criminal records longer than all of our arms combined are handed seven figures for doing nothing except posing for the book cover photo.

Matt Gaetz, Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, Mark Meadows…they all have book deals. And they’re all published by Simon & Schuster. I want to be published about as much as I want to see everyone responsible for January 6th in prison, but I just can’t bring myself to commit treason while depriving Americans of every basic human right from healthcare to voting, so am I doomed to remain “Twitter famous” while PAUL MANAFORT GETS A BOOK DEAL and still plays the victim at the same time?

Paul “Russia is just alright with me” Manafort. Paul “Not Even Half a Fredo” Manafort. Paul “I Stand By What I Said” Manafort. Has a book deal. And he spends most of the book WHINING about everything being bad in jail (hot tip: solitary isn’t supposed to be fun for reasons, Paulie Numbnuts), and it’s already on the Simon & Schuster website. Where it uses the word HOAX in connection with the 2020 presidential election, because that’s fine, right? Keep hiding behind that First Amendment, maybe it’ll keep you from getting splashed with all of that GOP blood money, Simon & Schuster. This is seriously enraging to every single unpublished writer sitting on a manuscript they love and believe in but can’t quite make that leap to seeing their words in print. Because Paul “I Lied Under Oath and I’d Do It Again” Manafort took up all the book advance money.

I don’t have a direct line to Putin, so I guess I don’t have a direct line to getting published, neither. But I’d rather never see my book as a real thing I can hold in my hands if it came off of the same presses as the propaganda they’ve been printing for the Republicans.

See Also

Get your publishing house in order, Simon & Schuster.

What's Your Reaction?
In Love
Not Sure

© 2021

Scroll To Top