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[COMMENTARY] GOP Candidate Running for Las Vegas County Commission Loves Him Some Internet Porn

[COMMENTARY] GOP Candidate Running for Las Vegas County Commission Loves Him Some Internet Porn

[TW: mentions of pornography, including child pornography, rape, and sexual abuse, as well as consensual adult sex acts]

Republicans are historically repressed about sex, which is why so many of them end up publicly confessing their deepest and most private desires in the absolute worst ways. How many stories have we read over our lifetimes regarding evangelicals and other Republicans caught in motel rooms with the people they were paying for sex? How many inappropriate comments have we heard because the GOP can’t ever stop projecting or saying the quiet parts out loud? And do I really have to remind you that the guy who preceded Joe Biden cheated on all three of his postpartum wives with adult film actresses?

Now, if you’re having a consensual adult relationship where the two (or more, no one’s judging here) of you have agreed to the terms and you’re both really into it, mazel tov to you. Nobody needs to know, okay? While I understand that the porn industry is perfectly legit and exists for the reasons it exists, it’s also supposed to exist very separately from the government. And yet, so many politicians have literally been caught with their pants down because their parents told them sex is naughty and dirty and shameful instead of teaching them that their sexual feelings are healthy and normal and can be expressed in a healthy way with a willing partner.

Stormy Daniels lawyer says Trump is on tape talking about the case.
Photo Credit Gary

The hypocrisy runs deep in the GOP, which is why it’s fine for Trump to drag Stormy Daniels through the mud and Bill Clinton is a pariah. And it’s also why a guy running for county commission in Las Vegas is whitemansplaining an essay he wrote exalting the benefits of online porn. And he’s just one of several terrible Republicans running. Again, whatever you’re doing in private is your business, Dear Reader, but I’m guessing you’re probably not reading this while campaigning. Meet Drew Johnson, whose O-face is most likely the stuff of nightmares if his Twitter bio photo is any indication:

Drew thinks online porn is great because it might make some men less rapey. No, really, he wrote a whole thing where he threw around some statistics to justify his jones for YouPorn. Drew is super America First-y as well as porn-thirsty, and he got big mad when his Democratic opponent found a real eye-opener of an op-ed Drew wrote called “The Benefits of Internet Porn” for the Daily Caller back in 2013 and had the audacity to make an issue out of it during a political campaign. SO SHOCKING, I know! As if Drew wouldn’t have been screaming all over Casinoville if one of his opponents wrote it instead of him. Also, in case you’re not aware, if the Daily Caller had a print edition, it wouldn’t even be good enough for wrapping dead rancid fish.

The hot garbage from Drew justifying his personal porn jones is all kinds of terrible, starting with this:

A miracle product exists that is responsible for dramatically reducing the number of rapes and sexual assaults in America. This invention has even contributed to lower divorce and teen pregnancy rates. Even though this invention has proven so beneficial, millions of Americans want to moderate and even eliminate it. Why? Because the thing reducing rape and sexual assault, and producing a safer, more family-friendly society, is really, really offensive to a lot of Americans: low or no-cost, high quality online pornography.

That’s right, Internet porn. 

Many claim that it objectifies women and riles men sexually in a way that makes society less safe. (As if only men view pornography.) Certain anecdotes may even serve to reinforce that notion. The numbers, however, tell a different story. Internet pornography has served as a firewall, satiating would-be rapists and protecting their potential victims.

BRB, my hard drive just demanded a full Silkwood shower.

But WAIT! There’s MORE! Drew thinks he’s been “misunderstood” and now he’s “setting the record straight” by digging a deeper hole for himself to enjoy his favorite porn because it’s SO HEALTHY FOR EVERYONE! “It makes us less rapey!” really isn’t the flex you think it is, Drew. In the column, I point out that “Child exploitation in the adult industry is still a disturbing problem that is unacceptable under any circumstance. Further, excessive porn usage can have a damaging impact on relationships.”

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No, really? Please don’t make me think about what these poor dogs have witnessed thanks to you two nutty repressed porny people.

Guess what? Once you tell the world you’re into the hardcore stuff because your mom probably shamed you for taking a tad too long in the shower when you were 12, it’s essentially impossible to whitewash it with your fake Christian MAGA morality. Thankfully, Las Vegas seems to be a little Blue jewel in the middle of a Red state, so it’s very possible that the County Commission seat Drew wants for watching porn on the government’s dime won’t be his.

In the meantime, this will be me for the rest of the day.

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