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[COMMENTARY] Elon Musk Now Says $44B Twitter Deal is Now ‘On Hold’

[COMMENTARY] Elon Musk Now Says $44B Twitter Deal is Now ‘On Hold’

In a surprise to almost no one, Elon Musk announced that his proposed bid to buy Twitter for $44 billion is currently “on hold” for a made-up reason involving bots, because he doesn’t have the capital to buy the platform and doesn’t want to say so.

The first hints started coming when Musk was tweeting all kinds of foolishness about what he might do once the sale went through. Bring back Trump? Get rid of the blue checks? Add more cocaine to Coca-Cola? Musk seems to think he’s omniscient when he’s just exceptionally rich and painfully dull. It’s annoying when billionaires with mommy and daddy issues make us suffer while they work through their angst, isn’t it?

If you get close enough, this photo whispers the word “Douche” (Caption by your author. Photo by Britta Pedersen-Pool/Getty Images)

“Twitter deal temporarily on hold pending details supporting calculation that spam/fake accounts do indeed represent less than 5% of users,” Musk tweeted Friday morning, indicating he’s skeptical that the number of inauthentic accounts is that low. Sure, and Trump blamed the voting machines for losing the 2020 election. Fragile billionaires doing their projection languaging all over us, UGH!

Look, the guy isn’t buying Twitter. He just wanted to yank some chains while he was tangoing with the SEC over his Tesla mishegoss. Musk is a gadget nerd. He likes fancy rockets and cars that sometimes but not always drive themselves. He’s not a word guy. He’s all about getting the attention he never got from girls in school. It’s just gross.

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I’m not one of those people who always thinks I’m right, but when I’m right I am SUPER RIGHT. Elon was projecting from the moment it was announced and people were threatening to Twexit and I was like THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN. If only he’d listened to me when I told him to buy Truth Social, because the price recently went up to $110,000.

But seriously, imagine if Elon Musk ever used any of his money to actually help other people! Now that he’s not buying Twitter, he’ll have plenty of extra scratch. I’ll just be over here definitely not holding my breath that he’s going to ever be a better person.

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