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[COMMENTARY] DUMMIES GO HOME: The Trucker Convoy is Finally Over After a Whole Lot of Nothing

[COMMENTARY] DUMMIES GO HOME: The Trucker Convoy is Finally Over After a Whole Lot of Nothing

Back in the 90s, my mother worked for an investment banker who was also Orthodox Jewish. He had five sons, and the youngest, Judah, was 3 or so at the time of this anecdote. Because he was wealthy, Orthodox rabbis would come to see my mother’s boss at his home during Shabbas, and Judah didn’t like them stealing his father away from him because he worked so many long hours as it was. On one memorable visit, he toddled into his father’s office, looked at the rebbes assembled to get more money, and said emphatically, “GO HOME, DUMMIES!”

I’d think of Judah every time I’d see (or write) a story about the Trucker Convoy (which also included campers, vans, SUVs, RVs, and other vehicles you can attach Trump flags to), the Traveling Brain Trust Circus which spent a whole day whining about gas prices as they circled Washington in their giant gas-guzzling vehicles that are in no way overcompensating for anything. Go home, dummies, I’d think (or tweet). Welp, they finally got it through their thick Skoals, er skulls, that nothing was actually happening, so they finally have decided to leave the racetrack 90 minutes north of DC they’ve called home for the last three weeks to return to their respective RV parks.

There’s talk of moving the caravan to California (aww, is it cold in Maryland in March, dummies? GO HOME!), but why? Mask mandates are essentially over despite COVID not being over at all, so GO HOME, dummies!

What’s the over/under on the “Peoples Convoy” being mostly the same Qrazy people who were hanging out at Dealey Plaza waiting for JFK Jr and Mick Jagger? I feel like we could all make some scratch on this one.

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