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[COMMENTARY] Because Florida: Rep. Anthony Sabatini Wishes ‘Don’t Say Gay’ Bill Went Up to 12th Grade

[COMMENTARY] Because Florida: Rep. Anthony Sabatini Wishes ‘Don’t Say Gay’ Bill Went Up to 12th Grade

There’s been a whole lot of extra Florida-ing going on thanks to all of the terrible Florida Men who are doing all they can to set the Sunshine State back to the Dark Ages.

The glee which Gov. Ron DeSantis displayed while signing the “Don’t Say Gay” bill into law was stomach-turning to anyone who cares about the emotional well-being of children who don’t feel safe coming out at home. “Death Santis” referred to well-meaning adults who feel protective of LGBTQIA+ kids as “groomers” while he’s literally been photographed partying with teenage girls.

Plus, there’s this choice shot of Repressed Ron with convicted sex trafficker Joel Greenberg and his literal partner in crime, Rep. Matt “Rapey McFloridaman” Gaetz, who’s currently under FBI investigation thanks to Greenberg. When you essentially live in a swamp full of alligators and cocaine, don’t be surprised when your fellow sex traffickers turn on you! BECAUSE FLORIDA.

Yeah, Gaetz looks so different now, right? A steady diet of nothing but vodka shots, cocaine, and worrying about life in prison will do that to a Florida Man. Also, taking makeup tips from Donald Trump is always a bad idea, Captain Venmo.

But today’s edition of Because Florida concerns Gaetz pal and fellow Florida man Rep. Anthony Sabatini, aka the Worst Member of the Florida Legislation (the mind reels on that one, I know). You may remember Ant’nee from such terrible things as his open support of Kyle Rittenhouse while blasting the state’s official cake. Maybe Ant’nee is triggered by Strawberry Shortcake, the cartoon, so he hates strawberry shortcake, the food. Or maybe he’s just terrible, because Florida.

Anyheez, Ant’nee went extra full Florida by telling fellow Trump traitor Steve “Somewhat Sentient Gin Blossom” Bannon that he wishes the Don’t Say Gay bill could traumatize even more kids. BECAUSE FLORIDA.

Ant’nee is the kind of Florida Man who’d stop on his way to Mar-A-Lago just to dance on the grave of a kid who couldn’t envision a life for themselves thanks to being told by their state reps that they aren’t full human beings. He’s also the kind of guy who thinks it’s fine to wear blackface and then still run for office, because Florida.

 

I don’t know why all of these mediocre repressed white Republicans feel like it’s fine to take out their repression on everyone who isn’t like them (shh, yes I do, it’s racism, just let me wrap this up). Or in this case, maybe it’s that these kids who just want to live safely and authentically are actually a little *too* much like them that they hate themselves even more, so they act out to hurt others. Whatever the reason, Ant’nee is terrible. Because Florida.

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