1. You Can't Resist a Mirror (Even in Public)
Narcissists have this grandiose image of themselves that they’ll love to keep. Unfortunately, this self-image (and more extensively, their self-worth) is largely based on their external appearance, instead of character and personality. So they’ll spend more time grooming and primping in front of the mirror to retain that “perfect” image. Never take a narcissist away from their mirrors or that will be like declaring the start of WW3.
When you spot a mirror in a public place, do you:
a) Casually glance at your reflection and move on.
b) Strike a pose, fix your hair, and bat your eyelashes.
c) Practically set up camp, mesmerized by your glorious reflection.
2. It's All About "Me," "Myself," and "I"
Narcissists are self-centered — the world starts and ends with them. However, there’s a slight difference between just being a self-centered person and being a narcissist. At least a self-centered person can occasionally come out of their bubble to empathize with others. Narcissists are just incapable of doing that.
During a conversation, do you find yourself:
a) Listening attentively to others.
b) Eagerly waiting for your turn to speak.
c) Interjecting, so you're always the center of attention.
3. You Collect Compliments Like Trading Cards
Narcissists will remember that one off-side compliment you gave them, even long after you’ve forgotten about it. So be careful to only say things you mean, lest they catch you in a lie when you least expect it.
When someone praises you, do you:
a) Accept the compliment graciously.
b) Bask in the glory, maybe share it with your besties.
c) Secretly create a trophy shelf and add a notch for each compliment received.
4. Your Social Media Feed is Your Shrine
If you’re that obsessed with your looks, it only makes sense that you have a stage to showcase those looks for people to fawn over. The social media feed of a narcissist is a revelation. Photo after photo (and videos too, of course) designed to prove one thing — they’re awesome and you need to worship them.
When you post on social media, is it mostly:
a) Fun moments with friends and family.
b) Selfies and updates about your fabulous life.
c) An elaborate exhibit of your magnificence, enough to fill a virtual museum.
5. You've Mastered the Art of Humblebragging
Want to learn how to bring more attention to your personal achievements while making it appear like you’re so humble and modest, you can’t help being awesome? Meet a narcissist for help. Those guys can make a complete orchestral production just by blowing their own horns.
Do you find yourself saying things like:
a) "I got lucky with this achievement."
b) "I can't believe how awesome I am at this!"
c) "My greatness is just a natural part of who I am."
6. You're Always the Hero of Every Story
Everybody needs a hero — except narcissists. They absolutely cannot let anybody else steal their thunder. If superheroes were real, narcissists would put them out of business.
When recounting events, are you usually:
a) Just a regular participant.
b) The star of the show, of course!
c) The all-powerful, invincible hero who saved the day.
7. You Know You're the Best, and You're Not Afraid to Say It
Sometimes, you don’t even have to know you’re the best. Just think you’re the best and act like you’re the best. The rest of the world will follow. Just don’t be caught slacking. Remember Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets? You don’t want to end up like him.
In a competition, do you:
a) Aim to do your best and respect others' abilities.
b) Make sure everyone knows you're the best, no doubts allowed.
c) Already have your victory speech prepared because, obviously, you'll win.
8. You Keep a Mental List of Envious Admirers
Narcissists tend to have a long list of people who don’t like them or just find them passably bearable. However, to them, anybody on that list is doing it because they’re jealous they’re not as awesome.
Do you believe people secretly envy you because:
a) You're just like everyone else.
b) You're way more successful and glamorous.
c) You radiate such amazing energy that people can't help but be in awe.
9. You Expect Special Treatment Everywhere You Go
The treatment has to match the hype. Narcissists think they’re royalty and expect to be treated like one. Anybody who fails to give them the complete “groveling special” treatment is going on the list of envious people and possibly never leaving.
When you walk into a room, do you expect to be treated:
a) Politely, like any other person.
b) With a little extra admiration, as you deserve.
c) As if you were royalty, complete with a red carpet.
10. You Take Constructive Criticism as an Insult
How dare you criticize perfection? It’s not a narcissist’s fault that you cannot see their vision. Instead of pointing out their faults, the rest of the world needs to adapt to understand them better. Can’t say they will do the same for you though.
When someone offers constructive criticism, do you:
a) Appreciate the feedback and learn from it.
b) Get defensive and insist they don't understand your genius.
11. You Love Surrounding Yourself With Admirers
What’s even better than telling everyone you’re awesome? Everyone telling you that you’re awesome. Whether you’re a narcissist or not, we all want to feel this way. It makes us feel appreciated and validated. The only difference is that non-narcissists do not make it a mission to get that admiration by any means necessary.
In your friend circle, are most people:
a) Different, but all wonderful in their unique ways.
b) People who worship the ground you walk on (understandably).
c) Hand-picked to form your personal fan club.
12. You're Addicted to Seeking Validation
Continuing from the previous point, chasing validation to the point of obsession can be a dangerous potion for narcissists. If you’re not careful, in the bid to get more, you lose everything you already have. Remember Scarlet O’Hara from Gone With The Wind? She obsessively chased after male validation and lost the one man that could possibly put up with her excesses.
Do you frequently rely on others for validation because:
a) It's nice to feel appreciated once in a while.
b) Their validation fuels your confidence.
c) You believe your life force requires validation to keep flowing.
13. You Think You Deserve the Best of Everything
The idea that they’re not special enough to get the best of everything is an insult to a narcissist’s ego. They don’t care about the reasons why it’s impossible. They just want results.
When it comes to choices, do you often opt for:
a) Whatever works well for you.
b) Only the finest things in life, as you're a connoisseur.
c) Items made exclusively for royalty.
14. You Find It Hard to Apologize
It’s hard to get someone who thinks they’re always right to admit they’re wrong, let alone get an apology from them. You have better chances teaching a hippo to waltz than getting an apology from a narcissist.
When you mess up, do you:
a) Apologize sincerely and try to make amends.
b) Pretend it never happened or blame someone else.
c) Expect others to apologize to you instead.
15. You Think You're Entitled to Others' Time and Attention
At the core of every narcissist is a hungry, insecure, needy person who doesn’t know how to love themselves properly. So they depend on the attention of others to feel good about themselves. That hunger for attention also drives them to be disrespectful of other people’s time.
Do you believe others should always make time for you because:
a) Time is a precious gift to be shared with loved ones.
b) They'll benefit from your presence, obviously.
c) The universe revolves around your schedule.
16. You're a Master at Manipulation
Of course, because it’s impossible for any human to constantly give into a narcissist’s demand, they often have to resort to manipulative methods to get what they want. Emotional blackmail, bullying, and gaslighting are very powerful weapons you’ll find in every narcissist’s arsenal.
When you want something, do you:
a) Ask politely and respect others' decisions.
b) Employ charm and flattery to get your way.
c) Use your superior mind control techniques to bend people to your will.
17. You Can't Stand Being Ignored
Looking for ways to start WW3? Ignore a narcissist and watch the whole world implode. However, this doesn’t mean that we cosign ignoring people for no reason. That’s equally as bad.
When someone ignores you, do you:
a) Understand that they might be busy or preoccupied.
b) Feel hurt and demand an explanation for the offense.
c) Declare a state of emergency and stage a one-person protest.
18. You're Exceptionally Skilled at Gaslighting
Every word out of a narcissist’s mouth is artfully crafted to throw you off. From passive-aggressive insults disguised as compliments to twisted narratives that make you feel like you’re always in the wrong. Take everything they say with a pinch of salt. If you find yourself thinking, “Did they just say what I think they said, or am I just imagining things” every time you talk to someone, they’re most likely a narcissist.
In conflicts, do you often:
a) Seek a resolution that benefits all parties involved.
b) Twist facts to make yourself look innocent or victimized.
c) Wield gaslighting like a powerful Jedi mind trick.
19. You're Envious of Other People's Success
Narcissists generally find it hard to congratulate other people on their success. If you cannot bear sharing the spotlight with someone else because you think they’re stealing your thunder, do I have news for you.
When someone else succeeds, do you:
a) Feel genuinely happy for them and celebrate their achievements.
b) Feel a twinge of envy, but you quickly suppress it.
c) Throw a private pity party because their success is obviously stealing your spotlight.
20. You Can't Stand Being Told No
If there’s one word that does not exist in a narcissist’s vocabulary, it has to be “no”. That’s like waving a red flag in front of a raging bull.
When someone criticizes you, do you:
a) Consider their perspective and see if there's room for improvement.
b) Get defensive and prepare your counter-arguments.
c) Unleash the wrath of the fiery dragon, for they dare to criticize your greatness.
21. You Can't Resist Taking Credit for Other People's Ideas
Narcissists think they’re awesome and if they ever run out of ideas, there are millions of other awesome people to steal from. After all, there’s nothing new under the sun.
When someone else comes up with a brilliant idea, do you:
a) Acknowledge their genius and give credit where it's due.
b) Slightly modify the idea and present it as your own "improved" version.
c) Declare that you've had that exact idea all along, and they must have read your mind.
22. You're Easily Offended When Others Don't Agree With You
A narcissist’s favorite person in the world is a yes-man. They tend to build a cult following of yes-men who validate and help them continue to live in the fantasy world they’ve created for themselves. You’re bad vibes if you don’t agree with them.
When faced with opposing opinions, do you:
a) Engage in a healthy debate and respect differing viewpoints.
b) Take it as a personal attack and unleash the fury of a thousand suns.
c) Conclude that they're just jealous of your unparalleled brilliance.
23. You're an Expert at Name-Dropping
What’s one way to flex and prove to everyone that you’re the coolest person in the world? Namedrop any famous person you’ve ever associated with. Even if the only thing you caught a whiff of was the scent of their lingering perfume, everybody needs to know that you were once in the same room with a famous person.
In conversations, do you casually drop famous names to impress others because:
a) It's relevant to the topic at hand.
b) You know all the cool people, obviously.
c) You believe the more famous people you know, the more famous you become.
24. You Expect Everyone to Admire Your Intelligence
Narcissists perceive intellect as a tool to gain more admiration from people and they wield that tool with no remorse. Everyone has to be in awe of their high intelligence. They won’t settle for anything less.
Do you often find yourself:
a) Sharing knowledge to help others grow.
b) Showing off your intelligence at every opportunity.
c) Wondering why people haven't declared you the modern-day Einstein.
25. You're Always the Best Dressed in the Room
You know that one person that attends a wedding wearing a white, elaborate dress because they want to outshine the bride at her own event? Yeah, that’s a classic example of narcissism. Nobody is stealing that spotlight, even if you’re the one that paid for it.
When it comes to fashion, do you:
a) Dress comfortably and express your unique style.
b) Constantly wear the latest designer labels to impress others.
26. You Believe Rules Don't Apply to You
Rules are for peasants. Narcissists are royalty who don’t follow any rules. Not even the ones they make for everyone else. It’ll be quite interesting to watch a movie about a narcissist (who thinks they’re above any rule) navigating a lawsuit where they broke the worst rule possible (the law).
When confronted with rules, do you:
a) Follow them to maintain order and fairness.
b) Find loopholes to bend the rules in your favor.
c) Declare that rules are meant for mere mortals, not for extraordinary beings like you.
27. You Can't Stand Waiting in Line
Three men walk into a bar — a narcissist, a politician, and a celebrity — who do you serve first? The narcissist. Why? No reason. His sense of entitlement far outweighs that of the other two people.
When standing in a queue, do you:
a) Patiently wait for your turn like everyone else.
b) Complain loudly about the injustice of waiting.
c) Attempt to convince others that you should always go first due to your VIP status.
28. You're the Ultimate Expert in Every Conversation
Remember that viral meme with that man yelling at a brick wall? Word on the street is that moments before that photo was taken, he had been arguing with a narcissist who didn’t want to hear his opinion.
In discussions, do you:
a) Listen and learn from others' expertise.
b) Interrupt to assert your superior knowledge.
c) Assume that everyone is waiting for your enlightened opinion.
29. Your Ideal Conversation Partner is a Mirror
Logically, why not? A mirror will not talk back, say no, argue with you, and even more importantly, it shows you just what you want to see. To a narcissist, that’s paradise.
If given the choice, would you rather:
a) Have meaningful conversations with others.
b) Talk to a mirror, so you can marvel at your own beauty and brilliance.
c) Have everyone talk to mirrors, so they can appreciate you even more.
30. You Have a Habit of Interrupting Conversations
Narcissists will insert themselves into every conversation. Including the ones that have nothing to do with them. You could be congratulating a nursing mother for her safe delivery and a narcissist will find a way to mention the bar of chocolate they couldn’t finish because they suddenly had their period. Anything to redirect the focus back to them.
During conversations, do you:
a) Respectfully wait for your turn to speak.
b) Occasionally interject with enthusiasm.
c) Regularly interrupt because your insights can't wait.
31. You Believe Your Social Media Likes Define Your Worth
Narcissists use the number of likes they get on social media as a metric for how likeable they are. They’ll keep chasing those numbers even if they have to lie or do outrageous things to get them.
Do you attach your self-esteem to:
a) Real-life experiences and personal growth.
b) Social media likes and virtual validation.
c) A direct correlation between your likes and global happiness.
32. You Compare Yourself to Others… And Usually Come Out on Top
Everything is a competition to narcissists. Even when it isn’t. Heck, you could be recounting a traumatic experience and a narcissist just has to prove that they have experienced something more traumatic than you.
How do you feel when comparing yourself to others:
a) You understand that everyone has their strengths.
b) You sometimes compare to boost your self-esteem.
c) You secretly believe you're always the victor in any comparison.
33. You've Invented Several Words to Describe Yourself
There are not enough words in the dictionary to describe how amazing you are, so you have to make some up. You don’t stop there either. Your friends and family have to compliment you using the same words you created.
Have you ever created words to capture your essence:
a) You use regular words to describe yourself.
b) You've coined a few terms that express your uniqueness.
c) Your personal dictionary is filled with words only you understand.
34. You Expect Unwavering Adoration From Pets
We’ve already established that narcissists want every human to worship the ground they walk on. But if you thought this meant that animals are exempt, perish the thought. In other news, do you know any narcissists with cats as pets?
Do you believe your pets should:
a) Be treated with love and care, like family.
b) Adore you and recognize your superior status.
c) Attend seminars on proper adoration techniques.
35. You're Known for Your Legendary Dramatic Exits
A dramatic exit is the perfect way to end a stage play (what else do we call the elaborate performance narcissists pull every time you have an interaction with them?). Just drop the bomb and walk away while everyone is still looking at you in shock — classic narcissistic move.
When leaving a gathering, do you:
a) Say your goodbyes and head out gracefully.
b) Add a touch of drama for a memorable exit.
c) Stage theatrical exits complete with a spotlight.
36. You Assume Strangers Are Enthralled by Your Life Story
There’s no bigger indicator of the kind of hubris narcissists have than centering themselves in stories involving complete strangers. What makes you think the random man scowling over the counter at some poor, haggled cashier wants to hear about a similar experience you had 20 years ago in a different country?
In a new social setting, do you:
a) Engage in genuine conversations to get to know others.
b) Share a bit more about yourself to break the ice.
c) Assume everyone is eagerly waiting to hear about your life saga.
37. You've Mastered the Art of Strategic Compliments
Compliments for narcissists (when they do offer them) tend to be a “scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” affair. They only offer compliments because they want to hear it in return, not because they think you’re awesome and worthy of the compliments.
When complimenting others, do you:
a) Offer genuine compliments without expecting anything in return.
b) Compliment in a way that builds rapport and connections.
c) Strategically compliment to ensure you're always in their good graces.
38. You've Mastered the Art of Selfies in Every Conceivable Angle
Taking group photos with a narcissist has to suck. They don’t care about how any other person appears in the photo, so long as they look good.
When taking selfies, do you:
a) Capture candid moments that reflect your personality.
b) Find your best angles and lighting for the perfect shot.
c) Have a comprehensive portfolio of selfies that could rival a modeling agency.
39. You Keep a Shrine of Your Achievements, AKA Your Living Room
Social media is not a big enough platform to laud their achievements. You’ll see it in their offices, living rooms, and other living spaces. Also, who has been inside the bathroom of a narcissist before? Can you report what you found there?
Is your living room decor mostly:
a) A mix of personal memories and comfy furniture.
b) A tasteful display of your achievements and awards.
c) An elaborate homage to your greatness, complete with golden statues.
40. You Can Make Any Mundane Task Sound Like an Epic Adventure
When you make a big production out of doing regular, boring things, there’s a high chance that something happens and a new anecdote is born. At least nobody can accuse narcissists of not being hardworking. That’s proper dedication to their craft.
How do you approach mundane tasks:
a) You complete them efficiently and move on.
b) You infuse them with excitement to make them enjoyable.
c) Even laundry becomes a thrilling journey when you tackle it.
41. You've Fantasized About Starring in Your Reality TV Show
If you’re always starring in everybody’s story, might as well go the extra mile and star in your own reality show, no? That’s a wider reach and more people can worship your awesomeness.
Have you ever daydreamed about:
a) Living a fulfilling life without cameras.
b) Having a reality show that showcases your adventures.
c) Directing, producing, and starring in your reality TV masterpiece.
42. You Believe Your Name Should Be Synonymous with Success
Creating new words to describe how awesome you are is great. Using your name to define success? That’s even better. More people need to know how rare you are.
How do you view your legacy:
a) You hope to leave a positive impact on those you meet.
b) You believe your name should be associated with success.
c) The dictionary will soon define your name as "genius."
43. You Feel Like a Cultural Trendsetter in Your Friend Group
Narcissists believe that their friend group will not be able to survive without them. They believe they’re the backbone and nobody else will get anything done without them. A classic example is Regina George from Mean Girls (if you ever saw the movie).
In your friend circle, do you often:
a) Share interests and learn from each other.
b) Introduce unique ideas and trends that others adopt.
c) Believe your every choice shapes the cultural landscape.
44. You Believe Your Instincts Are Basically Psychic Predictions
Coincidences do not exist in a narcissistic person’s world. If their gut feelings turn out to be correct, then it’s because they’ve been blessed with the power of prophecy. No questions asked.
How much do you trust your instincts:
a) You listen to them but acknowledge they're not foolproof.
b) You've had moments when your instincts were surprisingly accurate.
c) You're convinced you're the next Nostradamus.
45. You're Skilled at Dropping Hints That You're Right
If you want to know how long a human being can hold a memory without forgetting, get on the wrong side of an argument with a narcissist. Even your great-grandkids will hear of the day Grannie said something wrong and had to be corrected.
When discussing opinions with others, do you:
a) Respectfully share your viewpoint.
b) Gently drop hints that your opinion might be the correct one.
c) Engage in subtle persuasion tactics that highlight your genius.
Okay, that’s all the 45 signs that you might be a narcissist. For every “a” answer you choose, you get 0 points, you get 1 point for every “b” answer, and 2 points for every “c” answer. Did you tally up your points? How did you do?
If you scored between 0-15: Congratulations! You're not a narcissist, just a regular awesome human being.
If you scored between 16-45: You might have some narcissistic tendencies, but don't worry, self-awareness is the key to growth!
If you scored 46-90: Alright, Narcissus, let's take a moment to reflect on your narcissistic tendencies and find a healthy balance in life.
Remember, we're all a mix of various traits, and it's essential to embrace our uniqueness while treating others with empathy and kindness. Happy self-improvement journey!